"God just pops in, heals Sam and disappears without even giving Cas a damn explanation for fucking anything!"

Dean paced in front of Kevin, angrily gesturing to make his point. After God had left, Cas had rushed into the garden with a broken look on his face, almost as though he were holding back tears. Cas had been crying a lot since he got to the bunker, and Dean didn't know how to help.

"Maybe God doesn't know how to explain it. I know I wouldn't be able to do it."

Sighing, Dean shrugged, then pushed Kevin towards the bedrooms. "I guess. Hey, go to sleep, man. Seriously."

Kevin agreed with a glare, and Dean chuckled slightly before walking outside to join Cas.

Cas was staring up at the sky, face emotionless. His shoulders were shaking, but Dean could see that he wasn't crying.

Opening his mouth to speak, Dean closed as Cas picked up stones from the floor and flung them into the air.

"Why?! Why was it me? Why is it always me?! What did I do that was so wrong? I wanted to make it better, how is that a flaw? Why am I the one who suffers?!"

Dean gaped in shock. Cas was throwing stones at birds.

"Cas! Cas, buddy…c'mon, stop that. C'mere."

Cas fell into Dean's arms.

"I remember everything, Dean. I remember the day I was born, how my brothers and sisters greeted me with such utter joy. None of them can remember their own names now. They don't remember filling Heaven with song, they don't remember flying."

Cas wasn't crying, he wasn't even moving. He just laid his face on Dean's chest and his voice sounded so lost. It hurt Dean even more than seeing Cas cry.

"And you remember everything?"

Cas nodded slowly. "I remember what it felt like to raise my voice so that it echoed in every corner of Heaven, and how to change the pitch so that it melded seamlessly with my brothers and sisters' voices. I remember feeling the stretch and pull of my wings as I flew and tried to push myself faster. I can't do that now."

"I'm guessing you tried?"

Shuddering, Cas pressed his face further into Dean, so that Dean struggled to hear him. "I tried to fly away. I tried to run away. And then I remembered that I can't."

Nodding, Dean looked up. "And you hated that the birds can fly."

"It sounds so stupid when you say it."

"Aw, Cas, it's not stupid. It's just different. You'll get used to it, we've got time."

There was a chuckle from behind them. "You'd better get a move on. There's not much time left, Deano."

Dean froze. He knew that voice.

"Impossible." Cas choked.

Dean turned to look at the smirking archangel behind them. "You've got to be fucking kidding me! You died! How can you not be dead?"

The archangel raised his arms and grinned. "I am the Trickster."