EDIT: HAD to update this after getting a review that I got. This is by no means a way of bashing Quinn, it's a real look at what some women go through after a rape. As far as the accuracy thing goes, I'm sorry that not everything is perfect. There are SOME medicines out there that a pregnant woman can take. And to say about the doctor's not checking for pregnancy when she was first brought into the hospital...it would have been too early to know. She would have been like two days pregnant, so blood work and stuff, which I did say they did, wouldn't have shown anything.

Okay, I feel better now. Sorry some inaccuracies are bothering you THAT much. It's a story, it's not real life. And at least I'm not saying that she's growing a lizard -_-

So um, yea... Happy New Year Everybody :D Don't have much to say here today, other than that there's a LOT of little scenes in this chapter. I'm not exactly happy with it, it seems choppy to me, because it covers like 3 days. So uh, yea...

This chapter's kinda unbeta'd, I think it has a lot to do with conflicting schedules, plus the holidays. I'm not upset about it :) Plus I'm a little impatient and I wanted to get this chapter posted for all you lovely people. Enjoy :D

The First 24
Chapter 16

January 21 – 4:45PM

Rachel sat on her chair in the waiting room. Hands gripping the hair near the back of her head as she starred at the same spot on the floor. Her eyes were swollen with tears and were currently burning with new ones that had yet to be shed. The only time she moved since she sat down was to simply rock back and forth. It had always been something her dads did with her when she was a child and had a nightmare. Usually, it was calming. Now, though, it did nothing for her.

The 30 minutes she'd spent sitting in the same spot allowed her adequate time for her mind to finally process everything that had happened. She'd been so excited to tell Quinn about her day on set. But the minute she opened the bathroom door to see her wife falling to the floor, everything was forgotten. The only thing in her head at that point… Save Quinn. She ran on pure adrenaline. It was only now that she could allow everything to sink in. The pill bottle. The broken mirror. The cuts. There was blood everywhere.

The star remembered ten years ago, when Santana had found her mutilating herself. By the time she'd gotten there the Latina already had her friend cleaned up and Rachel didn't have to see the blood. It's not that she was squeamish or anything. But it's totally different when the injuries belong to someone you love. It was like she was stuck in a horror movie, with no way out.

The text message she sent to Santana and Brittany was so rushed that she hoped they'd be able to understand it. They still hadn't arrived, but it was understandable, the traffic in Los Angeles was worse than it was in New York City. She vaguely remembered them telling her about rushing her into surgery for a blood transfusion and to mend tendons in her arm that had been sliced by the glass.

Rachel felt like she was in a dream.

"Usually I'd poke fun at this text you sent us…" Santana started out, drawing Rachel away from her thoughts. It had taken her and Brittany a few minutes to decipher 'Quinnn hosspal bad' but once they did they were on their way in a heartbeat. Neither hesitated to cancel their last house appointment. "What's going on?" The Latina sat on one side of Rachel, Brittany on the other.

"There… there… blood... oh god i-it was everywhere." Rachel hadn't even looked up from the floor but she was well aware of the two pairs of arms that were wrapping around her body. "They…" she trailed off to take a deep breath, "they said… if I had been 10 more minutes…"

She didn't have to finish her sentence for either of her friends to understand what she was implying. Brittany's body shook some with tears. Santana's eyes were watering, but just like before, she had to take care of Rachel. She could cry later, when her and Brittany were alone. "How long she been back there?"

"Half hour." Rachel found herself being pulled into Brittany's tight embrace once Santana stood up to walk to the nurse's station. "What if she…" She was unable to finish the question to her dear friend as a fresh set of tears started rolling down her cheeks. She couldn't even begin to imagine live without Quinn. She'd always hoped that when the time came for them to move on to the afterlife, that they would go together. That way neither one was left behind.

"She's been through so much Rach. She'll be okay. I just know it." Brittany forced a smile before kissing the brunette's forehead.

"How can I help you ma'am?" A woman around Santana's age looked up from her computer and smiled warmly.

"Quinn Berry-Fabray. Is there any word on her?" The Latina swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to keep her nerves calm. She always hated talking to people like them because she had a short fuse whenever she was refused what she wanted. "And before you tell me you can't tell me…" she paused to motion to her wife who was holding the trembling brunette, "that's her wife. The one crying. She can barely speak in complete sentences."

The woman nodded before searching for something that Santana assumed to be Quinn's file. After a sigh she brought her eyes to look at the Latina's. "There's no word yet ma'am. It appears she's still in surgery."

"Surgery? For what?"

After a quick look around she motioned Santana to the side of the desk, away from another person speaking with a nurse. "When she was brought it, she was barely alive. She'd already slipped into a drug induced coma. The lacerations on her arm severed tendons and veins, they needed to be repaired. And while she's under they were going to pump her stomach."

"Do… do you know what she took?"

"Her wife reported a bottle of Tylenol PM on the floor of the bathroom." The nurse moved back to her spot at the computer before looking up again. "The minute the doctor comes out I'll send him your way."

A long, shaky breath escaped Santana's lungs.

January 21 – 5:20PM

"Mrs. Berry-Fabray?" A graying man asked as he stood in front of the three woman. Rachel's eyes shot up to meet his. "May I speak with you in private?" Rachel stood up on shaky legs. The grip she had on Santana and Brittany's hands never faltered. "Um…?" He looked down at Rachel before looking at the other two women.

"They're family. They need to know too."

The doctor nodded before leading the three women into a private conference room. "My name is Doctor Ire." He spoke before taking a seat. The man waited for them to sit down before continuing. "Surgery was successful. The transfusion went as planned and her body is not having any reaction to the new blood. I was able to repair the damage done to her tendons and veins as well as get her stomach pumped before the sleeping pills were able to take full effect."

"So, she's okay?" Brittany asked, her hand tightening around Rachel's when she felt it start to tremble.

"Yes ma'am. But we had to restrain her after she woke up. She attacked one of our nurses who was trying to replace the IV bag with a fresh one."

"Re… restrained how?" Rachel finally found her voice to speak. Her eyes met with his briefly before she glanced at Santana for help.

"We had to restrain her to the bed with straps ma'am. The minute she woke up she started screaming, and it only got worse when he got closer to her."

"You have to take the straps off of her!" Rachel stood up quickly.

The doctor leaned forward in his seat to watch her. "Mrs. Berry-Fabray, it's for everybody's safety."

Santana stepped in without hesitation. "Look, either you take those straps off of her or you'll be facing a lawsuit. You don't know Quinn's past. Strapping her down will only make her outbursts worse."

"I'm afraid I cannot do that ma'am."

"Listen you prick. Two things are going to happen. One…" She placed her hands on the table as she stood up, "you will unstrap her from that bed. And two, there will be no male anybody in that room with her."

Doctor Ire was not impressed by the Latina's outburst. "I understand this is a trying time for everybody involved. But you have to understand that she attacked one of the hospital's workers. It's for everybody's safety that she remained restrained."

Brittany had moved to Rachel's side and wrapped her arms around the petite brunette while Santana continued to have her words with the doctor. "Let me give you a little input into what happened to Quinn. Two months ago she spent a week chained to a bed where she was repeatedly beaten and raped by a man." She saw the doctor's features immediately soften. "So, you will no longer be her doctor and she will be free to move around on that bed. She completely loses her shit every time a man is near her because of what happened. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes ma'am. I will contact Doctor Syrus to take over treatment of Quinn." He stood from his seat to take a few steps closer to Rachel. "One last thing." He spoke solemnly. Now that he knew the situation with his newest patient, he knew the last part wouldn't be good news. "The drugs and blood loss… did not affect the baby."

Rachel's heart stopped. It suddenly felt like she couldn't breathe. Had she heard him right? The baby? She suddenly felt her legs give out and she fell into Brittany's embrace. Her mind barely registered the blonde speaking. "Can we see her? Please?"

"Of course, she's been moved up to the psychiatric ward for further evaluation. Follow me."

"Get the fuck away from me!" Quinn screamed at the guy who was currently injecting something into her IV line. "Get away!" She pulled violently on the thick leather straps around her wrists and ankles as her body trembled. He was too close to her. He was doing something to her that she didn't know. She had no idea what was in that needle that he was trying to give to her.

All she remembered was Jim. He had injected her with things that she had no idea what they were. The only thing she knew was that it knocked her out. "Daniel, can I speak with you outside?"

Quinn was barely able to register the strange male voice in the room. She just knew that she couldn't get free and her eyes burned from so much crying. Her throat ached from screaming and the tube used to clear her stomach contents. "Just leave me alone already!" Quinn screamed again. "Why couldn't you bastards just let me die huh?"

"Baby?" Rachel's voice cracked as she struggled to unlatch the straps from her wife's wrists. "Quinn, honey it's me." She rested her hand on the blonde's cheek to get her attention.

Quinn's eyes narrowed some as she looked up at her wife. "Why?" Was all she said.

"How are you feeling?" Rachel ignored the question as she sat down on one of the seats beside Quinn's bed. Her eyes never left her wife.

The blonde frowned at Rachel. It was obvious her wife had been crying her eyes out. But why? Why did Rachel care so much about her. Why did Rachel have to come home just when she did and save her? Why couldn't she just let her die like she wanted to? "Why do you care?" She spat out, her voice was dry and cracked some from the soreness.

Rachel bit back some tears before glancing up at Brittany and Santana. They just glanced at each other before leaving the room and pulling the door shut behind them. "I care because I love you Quinn." The blonde just turned away, her eyes become focused on the bandage that covered her right hand and arm. "Why did you do it?" Again there was no answer. The silence was succeeding in bringing more tears to Rachel's already swollen eyes.

"It would have been better." Quinn's eyes closed. She allowed her mind to take her away. To take her to a place where she could actually be happy. A place far away from the hospital bed she was currently laying on.

"How?" Rachel pleaded with her wife. When Quinn didn't so much as move she rested her head on the mattress near Quinn's hip and just watched her stare off into space. "How would it be better?" Still, nothing. At this point, Rachel wasn't even sure if her wife was hearing anything she was saying. "I can't live without you Quinn. Why can't you see that?"

January 22 – 8:30AM

"Are you going to talk to me this time Quinn?" A younger woman who'd introduced herself as Emily spoke to the blonde. And once again Quinn was off in her own little world. "I can't help you if you don't talk to me."

"Why do you care? You just want a paycheck." Quinn was looking right at her. But in her eyes anybody could see she wasn't actually looking at her but through her. Every word Emily spoke registered in the blonde's mind, even though she was still off in her own little world of 'happy.'

Emily closed her notebook and leaned closer to the blonde. "I'm not just here for a paycheck Quinn. I'm here because I like to help people." The blonde just let out a dry laugh before silence once again filled the room. "You might think that nobody cares, but I've met your wife Quinn, she hasn't left this hospital since you came in yesterday. And your two friends… Brittany and Santana right? Have been crying their eyes out just as much as your wife. You're not alone. You have people that care about you."

Quinn's voice was bitter. "Santana doesn't cry."

"Well she is." Emily paused to open up her notebook again to continue taking notes. "I'm not here to psychoanalyze everything you tell me Quinn. Even though there's not much to go on since this is the first time you've actually spoken to me."

"I'll ask again, why do you care?"

"You know…" Emily looked up from her notebook, changing the subject away from Quinn's question. "If Rachel had gotten home just 10 minutes later she'd be busy planning your funeral right now."

A long silence filled the room as Quinn allowed the psychologist's words to sink in. Why had she truly done what she'd done? That question had been playing in her mind ever since she woke up to realize that it wasn't her time to die just yet. She survived Jim's assault on a daily basis, why couldn't she survive the aftermath of it. "I feel sick." And it wasn't a lie. Her stomach had been doing back flips again. She gratefully accepted the bucket that Emily had handed to her and dry heaved into it. The only thing that came up was water. Water was the only thing in her stomach, the only thing she'd been able to keep down. Hell, it was the only thing she'd put in her mouth. The rest of her nutrients came through her IV since she refused to eat.

"Would you like some fresh water?" All Quinn could do was nod before another dry heave hit her and some more liquid came up her already raw throat. "Here…" Quinn took the paper cup from the woman before taking a small sip. She swished it around in her mouth before spitting it into the bucket and leaning back on the bed.

"Tell Rachel to go home."

"I don't think she'll listen to me."

"She won't listen to me either."

"That's because she loves you."

Quinn turned her eyes to look out the window. It was pouring rain outside. Usually Quinn loved the sound of the rain hitting the roof or the window… But now it was just depressing her even more. If only she'd never gotten those flowers for Rachel than everything would be alright. "I don't understand why."

"Why do you say that? From what Rachel told me you two have been together since high school, is that right?" Quinn nodded. "That's an awful long time to be with someone that you don't love."

"I'm not the same person I once was…" Quinn felt a single tear slide down her cheek. "Can I just be alone for a while?"

"I'll let Rachel know." Emily closed her notebook and stood from her seat before leaving the room.

Once the door was closed and Quinn knew that Rachel wasn't coming back in she pulled her knees to her chest and cried. She cried until her head hurt and she had no tears left to cry. She knew deep down that Rachel loved her unconditionally. But why? Quinn was nothing but a battered and broken woman who couldn't even stay in physical contact with her wife for more than a few minutes at a time. She woke up in the middle of the night screaming from nightmares. Everywhere she looked she saw Jim. Every sound reminded her of him. Every smell, in some way took her back to that dark room that had been her dungeon for nearly a week.

What if she hadn't of broken free? She would have been dead right now. Jim told her himself that he was getting bored with her. She'd figured out that 'bored' meant he planned to kill her. And knowing the torture he'd put her through while she was his captive, it wouldn't have been a very quick or painless death. He would have made her suffer… much like she's making Rachel suffer with her own selfishness.

She reached again for the bucket that Emily had given her and emptied the contents of her stomach into it. Once again it was nothing other than water. How could she have gotten herself into this mess? What made her decide to practice law in the first place? If it wasn't for that, none of this would be happening to them… right? That's what she told herself at least… All of this was her fault. Nobody else's but her own. It's her fault that Jim did what he did. It's her fault that she was stupid enough to try taking pills and cutting herself to die. She could have done it better. She should have done it better.

"Quinn?"

When the blonde heard the voice she realized that her alone time was over. She hadn't even known how long she'd been lost in her thoughts. "Hi." Was all she said. How could she even look at Rachel knowing she was such a failure. Did Rachel think the same? "I'm sorry I failed you." She felt the bed dip beside her and knew her wife had taken up residence on the bed with her.

"What do you mean?"

"I've been thinking about things… you never should have forgiven me all those years ago… then you wouldn't be in this situation."

"Quinn, look at me." Rachel waited until her wife turned to meet her eyes before continuing. "None of this is your fault. I'm here because I love you. I forgave you all those years ago because I loved you then too. We've already talked about that before. You were the first person I ever fell in love with Quinn. I fell in love with you while you were still tormenting me, I never understood why you did it until I saw you and Santana in the locker room and heard you screaming my name."

The minute Rachel's hand touched hers she was overcome with fresh tears. Tears that shook her whole body. She couldn't say anything else. All she could do was allow Rachel to wrap her arms around her body and gently rock her. A habit that was formed after Quinn's last breakdown, to calm her.

January 23 – 7:00AM

It had been going on too long now. Santana was feeling anxious. Quinn hadn't said anything to any of them since yesterday morning. She knew that the woman was lost in thought but given everything that had happened, she would have thought Quinn would have trusted them enough to fill them in on everything. All of this hit too close to home. She remembered in extreme detail how far gone Brittany had become before she finally got the help she needed. "I know you can hear us Q. You need to talk to someone." Santana all but pleaded. "You need to get help."

When there was no response she leaned up to whisper in Brittany's ear. When the taller blonde nodded, Santana watched her make her way to Rachel and lead the reluctant woman out of the room. Once the door was closed Santana didn't even hesitate to smack the blonde in the back of the head.

"The hell was that for?" Quinn stared up at her friend before rubbing the back of her head with her unbandaged hand.

"I had to make sure you were still conscious. Fuck Quinn, we've all been talking to you nonstop since yesterday and you haven't acknowledged any of it!" Santana snapped at her friend. She'd finally reached her boiling point. She never intended to actually strike Quinn, but out of reflex, she couldn't stop herself. "Look, I'm sorry I smacked you, but dammit Quinn you're not the only one hurting here! You know… there's only four times in my life now that I've seen Rachel speechless. They all seem to revolve around your dumb ass for some reason."

"San…" Quinn started. Truth was, she didn't want the lecture. Especially since it started out the exact same way as the one she received ten years ago.

"Oh so now you want to talk? I think you can wait your turn… Rachel was speechless at your wedding, during your first breakdown, when we all realized you'd been kidnapped… and now you pull this shit on her? Thought you learned your lesson last time Q."

Quinn wasn't going to back down from the challenging looks the Latina was currently giving her. "It's different this time."

"No, it's not. You're being just as selfish as you were last time. You're only thinking of yourself. What about Brittany and me… most of all Q, what about Rachel? While you were chugging pills and drawing pretty little designs in your arm did you ever once stop to think about her? You're not the only one hurting Quinn. God B and I could barely get her to do anything but sit and stare into space while you were missing."

"I-"

"I'm not done!" Santana snapped. She knew Quinn needed this reality check to move on with her life. "That sick fuck is in jail awaiting trial because he's a flight risk. At least your rapist is behind bars. Imagine how Brittany felt knowing that hers got away with it. How do you think she felt about that? Jesus Quinn. I've been in Rachel's shoes dealing with this. Brittany still sometimes has nightmares from it. But you know what? I'm there for her. Just like Rachel's trying to do for you. She wants to help you and your selfish ass won't let her."

"I don't need help."

The Latina's hands flew up in the air as she mocked, "oh no you're perfectly fine!" She leaned against the foot of the bed. "That's why you sucked down half a bottle of sleeping pills and treated your arm like it was a turkey on Thanksgiving that needed carved. Sure as hell sounds like you're fine to me."

"Fuck you Santana. You don't know what's going on in my head."

"Do you?" When she got no response she continued, "you're thinking only about yourself Quinn. You have to talk to that Emily girl. You need someone to help you… To help you more than any of us can. Think of your health. Think of everybody else… Quinn, think of the baby."

"That's all I've been thinking about San… I can't think about anything else…"

Santana sighed, immediately losing her attitude when she saw the lost look in her best friend's eyes. "Look… you have to realize you can't do this on your own. Healing can't be done by yourself. And something as big as the baby…" Santana trailed off before sitting on the bed beside Quinn and wrapping her arms around her shoulders. "Sweetie, you need help. Please. For Rachel. I know how much you love her and how much she loves you."

Quinn went quiet, allowing the words to sink in. 'For Rachel.' She'd do anything for Rachel… She buried her face into Santana's neck and allowed herself to completely calm down. "Okay." One simply word answered everything that Santana had just told her. Okay, she'd talk with whatever person that came in to help her. Okay, she knew she had to think about the others and not just herself. And okay… what to do about it was entirely up to her.

January 23 – 10:30AM

"Finding out you're pregnant pushed you over the edge then?" Emily continued writing her notes about everything Quinn had told her. She couldn't have been more thrilled that the older woman finally decided to let everything out.

"I can't touch my wife. I can't be in the presence of men and I'm pregnant at 38 years old. All because of him. He… he just fucked everything up."

"Based on everything you've told me, I'm going to recommend an anti-depressant as well as an anxiety medication for you. I'll just need to check with your doctor first because of the pregnancy." Quinn's sharp intake of air alerted her to an issue. "Do you know what to do about the child yet? Have you thought about your options?"

"It's all I've been thinking about. The baby's not there by choice…" She swallowed thickly and hoped she wouldn't be judged by her wife for her decision. "I need… to talk to Rachel."

"Just make sure you remember… in a situation like this, you need to be in control of your body and of the outcome. Don't let anybody sway your own decision." Emily folded her notebook closed and stood up. "I'll be in to talk to you some more tomorrow, and I'll let Rachel know we're done."

"Thanks."

The door didn't even close completely after Emily left before Rachel came running in. "Hey, you okay?" The brunette carefully picked up Quinn's left hand and threaded their fingers together.

Quinn looked deep into Rachel's eyes for several minutes before she finally spoke. She'd come to her conclusion the day before while she was in the middle of her silent treatment to everybody. It was when it had finally sank in that it wasn't her time to die just yet. There was a reason for everything, which told her there was a reason the baby was growing inside of her. "I want to keep the baby."

Rachel was at a loss for words. She carefully took a seat on the bed next to Quinn to give her mind a chance to catch up. "Are you sure? I mean, there are… options."

"I've been thinking about it ever since I woke up. I don't believe in abortion Rachel. I never have. That's why Beth was born."

"There's always adoption too honey. I'll understand." Rachel placed her forehead to Quinn's and searched her eyes for any sign that she was uncomfortable.

"Remember what I went through after I handed Beth away?" She shook her own head at the thoughts. "I can't do that again Rach. Not now, I barely handled it 23 years ago… I'll understand if you don't want to stay with me because of it…" Quinn started to pull away. She'd been preparing herself for Rachel wanting to leave her ever since she returned home and Rachel started looking at her differently.

Rachel turned to look right into Quinn's eyes before smiling softly. "I would never leave you. We just… weren't meant to have children until now."

February 12, 2021

It was attempt number six. The last five tries didn't work out in their favor. Every single time failed. For both of them. Both Quinn and Rachel had been alternating their attempt in hopes that something would stick. Number five looked positive until three months in and Rachel had miscarried. They were close to completely giving up by then. A year of failed pregnancies.

Now, they both sat on their bed, hands clasped tightly together as they waited. Just like all the other times, it felt like an eternity until the little alarm on Rachel's phone would sound.

"What if it's negative Rach?" Quinn was getting tired of all the silence.

"Then we'll simply try again." The Broadway starlet nodded her head in typical Rachel Berry Determination.

Hazel eyes made contact with the floor near their feet before she sighed. "I'm tired of the heartache Rach… especially after last time. If this is negative… I don't want to try anymore."

Rachel's head snapped toward Quinn for a moment before she looked away and sighed. "I'm tired of the broken hearts too honey." She reached out to gently grasp Quinn's cheek, forcing their eyes to lock together. "We could always get a dog."

"Or cat." Quinn giggled at the stereotypical lesbian image that popped into her head. Rachel's mind must have conjured up a similar picture because soon their laughter was filling the room.

Until Rachel's alarm went off.

"Whatever that test says… I love you."

"I love you too Rachel." Quinn stole a soft, short kiss before heading to the bathroom.

"It's going to be hard. Rachel, we're not as young as we once were anymore."

"I know that. But… with you changing your practice, your job will become a 9-5 with a lot less stress. And by the time the baby gets here I'll be done shooting 'Road To Nowhere.' Which means I'll be at home to help. Yes, we're not as young as we once were, but that can be to our advantage. It means we're older and wiser, not to mention completely secure financially. Everything will work out in the end."

"Promise?" Quinn rested her head on Rachel's shoulder and closed her eyes.

"Promise." The starlet rested her cheek against the top of her wife's head. Two things were certain to Rachel. First, she couldn't have been happier that her wife was going to be alright. And second… she never expected when she told Quinn she'd hoped for 'new joys' for this year that it would mean a child.

A child that would be a constant reminder of what happened. But a child they could call theirs. Nobody but the four of them had to know where the baby came from. What was going to be rough, would be when Quinn started showing, that's when they'd have to come clean to the media. They both knew firsthand how ruthless the press could be. Once it would get out about Quinn's pregnancy, she knew vicious rumors wouldn't be far behind. What she feared most though, was the truth getting out. Rumors they could handle, they'd dealt with them before in New York.

"No matter what happens, I love you." Rachel whispered to Quinn's sleeping form before slowly leaning back and closing her own eyes.

So... Time for the last survey everybody. Regardless of which one you pick, I am NOT taking suggestions for names. Okay?

Good, so would you like them to have a boy or a girl? I'll be accepting the votes probably through chapter 18 or 19. I'll let you know whatever chapter I stop taking votes k?

So yea, what do you think? Opinions always welcome :D And Olacindy gave me some wonderful ideas for later on in the story that I plan on using!