Sam
It was the next day and I had hardly slept. Laying with Zuko and watching him, praying that he would open his eyes. Azula had stayed with Izumi all night. I don't think she knew how much I appreciated her for taking care of my daughter. I knew I couldn't do it. Not with Zuko like this. Fen came over and examined him again.
"No change, your highness." I closed my eyes and tears seeped through. I laid down and I felt more and more helpless as the days went on. I couldn't do anything to help him. I couldn't even take care of my own daughter for Pete's sake. And now I couldn't even take care of my husband.
I picked up his arm and stretched it out beside him so I could lay my head on his chest. I'm sure Fen wouldn't approve but I needed to be close to him. Feel him like I always did. But it wasn't the same. He was non-responsive and I could feel his skin clammy under his clothes. What could I do? I did the only thing I could do. Something I would do when he or Izumi weren't feeling well or when he was upset about something. I started to sing. I decided to sing my favorite Beatles song - one I had never sung to him before - "Hey Jude". What else could I do? Nothing. So I sang it - at least what I could remember of it. I hadn't heard it in over ten years.
Once I was finished, I sat up and placed his arm back in it's place. I laid down next to him and stroked his face and smoothed his hair. I missed him so much.
It had been a week since Zuko got home. During this whole ordeal, I knew there were things that I couldn't ignore as Fire Lady. I did bare minimum. Azula would stay with Zuko until I got done working and then I would relieve her to take care of Izumi. She still wasn't back in school - spending her days with Azula. I knew she wouldn't be able to handle it with her father in the state he was in.
I couldn't lay down. I had been laying down way too much and I was getting an awful headache. I sat down in the chair next to his bed and took his hand into mine. I sat, holding his hand and closed my eyes. I was praying for him to wake up. It was at that moment my hand twitched. I looked down and realized…it was not MY hand twitching. I looked up at Zuko's face and his eyes were fluttering. I ran over to the door and grabbed the first person I saw "GO GET FEN NOW! ZUKO'S AWAKE!" I said and I hurried back over to him.
"Hunny. Zuko? It's me. It's your Sam." I said. Zuko's eyes continued to flutter and he looked straight ahead. I grabbed his hand again and held it tight, kissing his fingers. "My love, I'm here." At that, he rolled his head slowly in my direction.
"Sm. Wa happnd?" he asked. His speech, slurred.
"You were attacked when you were touring your prisons." He closed his eyes and his brow furrowed.
"Whr s umi?"
"Izumi is with Azula. I'll bring her in here in a little while. You need to get your orientation, hunny." I said. He tried to sit up, his body shaking out of weakness. I placed my hands on his shoulders and gently pushed him back down. "Oh, no, Zuko. You need to lay down. Stay where you are. Fen is on his way here." He nodded and closed his eyes again.
Fen came running into the room. I got up from my place to let him at Zuko. Zuko held his hand out to me, not wanting me to leave. I walked around and crawled onto the bed. I kissed his shoulder, then laid my head down and took his hand into mine. Fen looked up at him.
"Fire Lord, how do you feel?"
"Dzy nd hd hrt."
"Yes, dizziness and an aching head is common with a head injury. Just take it easy, your highness." Zuko nodded his head.
"This is a good sign that he is awake. His slurred speech should go away in a day or two."
"Do you think it's ok for Izumi to come see him?" I asked. Fen smiled.
"I think that would do them both a world of good, Fire Lady." I smiled at that. That was a relief. Once she caught word he was awake I didn't think any force of nature would keep her away from him.
"Thank you, Fen." I turned to Zuko, "I'm going to go get her." Zuko smiled and nodded.
I decided I wasn't leaving Zuko. I stuck my head out and asked for someone to go get Azula and Izumi. I waited for them when Azula and Izumi appeared in the doorway. Zuko turned his head over to look at Izumi and Izumi's face lit up. I walked over to her and took her hand.
"Now you have to be very gentle with Daddy. He is very sore, ok?"
"Yes, Mommy." she said. I sat on the chair next to him and stood her in front of me.
"Daddy! I'm so glad you're ok!" she said. She almost threw herself onto him like she always did, but caught herself. She crawled up on the bed and VERY gently hugged her father like he were an egg and would crack under any amount of pressure. He laid his hand on her back, still shaking from weakness. She sat down on the bed. She picked up his hand and started to play with it in her innocent way. He smiled at her. He took his hand back and placed it on her face. She took hold of it and smiled, tears forming in her eyes. Zuko's brow furrowed.
"Dnt cry zum." he said. Izumi looked at him, scared. She hadn't heard him try to talk yet. I leaned in and placed my hand on her back.
"Daddy is having trouble talking right now hunny."
"Because he doesn't feel good?" she asked.
"Exactly, let's let him rest for a while ok? I'll bring you back in later, hunny." I said. "Will you go and play in your room so your Aunt Azula can see him?" She didn't want to leave him but knew this wasn't the time to get stubborn. She nodded and left the room.
"Hello, Zuzu." Azula said. Zuko smiled.
"Hi ula." Zuko said.
"You sound ridiculous, Zuko." she said, smirking. She wasn't making fun. She was joking. And he knew it.
"Nt s mch s yu." he said, smirking back at her. Azula chuckled.
"Glad to see you haven't lost your sense of humor with your ability to talk."
"Azula!" I scolded her. She looked over at me and grinned.
"Oh, relax, Sam. He knows I'm joking." she said. She looked back at her brother, "I'm glad you're awake Zuko. You look good." she said, genuine now.
"Thnks" he said. "Gld yor hre" he said.
"Me too. You had me worried, Zuzu." she said, taking his hand. He smiled.
"Dnt cll m tht." he said. She chuckled, released his hand and stood up.
"I'm going to let you rest." she looked at me, "Sam, don't wear him out too much." she said, grinning.
"I'll try not to." I said. "Thanks for everything, Azula."
"Sure, sure. Anything for my dear sister." she said, sarcastically. Although I knew she meant it. She smiled and she walked out and Fen walked back in and I took my place again next to him on the bed.
"Sm, tll me wha hppn." he said.
"No, Zuko. You need to rest. I'll fill you in when you're feeling better." I laid my head back down on his shoulder and I stretched my arm gently across his body. Fen looked at me and spoke.
"Your majesty, I'll stay here and keep an eye on him. You should get some rest. I expect you will sleep better knowing that he is on the road to recovery." Fen said.
"You won't get an argument from me." I climbed under the covers, rested my head on his shoulder, took his hand into mine and closed my eyes. Soon enough, I was fast asleep, finally with my Zuko.
I woke up and I looked out the window. The sun was setting. I had been asleep for hours. I looked over at Fen to not see him, but Azula. Then I looked on the other side of Zuko to see Izumi sound asleep snuggled into her father's side and his arm around her. I looked up at him and he was sleeping. I smiled. They both needed this.
"Azula, how long have you been there?" I asked, whispering.
"A couple of hours. I wanted to spend time with Zuko so I gave Fen a break for a little while so he could get some rest." she said glancing over at the cot with a sleeping Fen. She looked down at Izumi, "I thought it would be good for Izumi to see her father. Zuko was already asleep so she climbed in next to him. I was surprised she didn't talk his ear off like she normally would. I guess she understands more than we give her credit for."
"I think you're right about that. She is a smart child. Thanks for everything, Azula. I know you love your brother, but it still means a lot to me." I said. I genuinely felt so thankful for her.
"Don't mention it. He's my big brother. I didn't think anything would ever get the better of him until now. Honestly, it scares me." Azula said.
"I know what you mean. Zuko has always been the strong one in our relationship. Now that he is out of commission, I really don't know what to do. I feel so helpless."
"You're doing an amazing job, Sam. I know it doesn't feel that way, but you are his rock in more ways than one. And more than just today. Uncle Iroh always says that good and evil are always at war inside him. That it's his legacy. But since you came into his life, he doesn't struggle with it like he used to. You ground him, Sam. I know he loves you for it. And so do I." I was surprised at her openness. She didn't usually speak so freely. I guessed that Zuko's current state was, at least in part, responsible for her vulnerability.
"I have heard Iroh say that too but I never really saw that in him. He's such a good man. I can't see him being evil. Even the stories he's told me about trying to capture Aang. It's hard for me to wrap my mind around. It's in stark contrast to what he is now."
"Trust me, Sam, he was very different when he was a teenager. He was angry and aggressive. We both were." she added, breaking eye contact, "Then after he took the throne he was so…unsure of his ability to run the Fire Nation. He even made Aang promise to kill him if he ever turned out like his father."
"What?! He never told me that before." I logged that away to ask him later, once he was feeling better.
"Yes, they severed that agreement shortly after it was made which is probably why he never mentioned it. I never told him this, but even when I was…not well" she said pointing to her head, "I knew he would be a good Fire Lord. Zuko always had a kindness about him that I never had and I knew he would be fair."
"Azula, you don't give yourself enough credit. You are a kind person, whether you want to admit it or not. Look at Izumi. You're one of her favorite people in the whole world. She adores you." Azula looked at me, surprised at my statement. It was true. Izumi is very close to Azula. She looked down at Izumi and smiled.
"Yeah, she's a good kid." She said. She looked at the window and over to Zuko. She shook his shoulder, "Zuko, wake up." Zuko's eyes opened.
"What? Zula?" he was starting to talk better already.
"Shh." she said gesturing to Izumi. Zuko looked down and saw her sleeping form next to him and he smiled, stroking her back. "It's been two hours. Go back to sleep." she said.
"Kay." he said, he laid his head down, turned in my direction. He looked at me and smiled. "Sam."
"Yes, my love. I'm here. How are you feeling?" I asked. He reached his hand up to my face and stroked my cheek. It still seemed like he felt weak but he was slowly getting his strength back.
"Better. Not as dizzy. Still headache." he said.
"I'm guessing you'll have that for a little while. You were hit in the head pretty hard." I reached over and stroked his face with my hand, my thumb stroking his scar. He leaned into my touch.
"I missed that." he said. I craned my neck over to his face and kissed him. "That too," he said making me giggle.
"So did I." I said. "Get some rest, Zuko." I said, laying my head down on his shoulder. He didn't say anything. After a few moments, I looked up and he was asleep. I looked over at Azula.
"Get some rest. I'll stay awake with him." I said. She nodded and stood up, stretching.
"Remember, wake him every two hours." she said. I knew this since the brain was part of my field of study as a psychologist but I didn't mention it.
"Will do, thanks again, Azula." I said.
"See you in a little bit." she said and walked out. I snuggled into him more and looked up at Zuko, watching him sleep. He looked so peaceful. I laid with him for hours, waking him up at the two-hour intervals. It was then that Fen stirred and stood up, stretching.
"How has he been?" Fen asked as he walked over to us.
"He's been doing really well. His speech is almost normal already. He has been waking up every two hours well too - no trouble there." I said. When Fen got to the other side of Zuko, he looked down and saw Izumi, still asleep next to him. He didn't want to wake her up, but he needed to examine Zuko. I stood up and came over to Izumi and picked her up.
"No, Mommy! I want to stay with Daddy!" Izumi started crying, rousing Zuko out of his sleep.
"It's ok Izumi. I'll put you back when the doctor is done, ok? I promise." I said. She calmed down at my proclamation.
"Fire Lord?" Fen said, approaching him.
"Wha?" He said, looking around.
"Good to see you are improving Fire Lord. Do you think you can sit up for me?" he asked. Zuko deliberated for a moment and then nodded. Fen offered him his hand to help him. He sat up and was a bit tipsy. This was the first time he was vertical in over a week. "How does that feel?"
"Dizzy, but really good." he said. He lifted his arms and arched his back, stretching. "Excellent, actually."
"Perfect! Based on what I'm seeing today, I don't see why you won't make a full recovery. Just, give yourself a few days. Don't push yourself too hard." Fen said. He glanced over at me.
"I'll make sure he doesn't, Doctor." I said.
"Good. I'll be honest, the state he came home in, I wasn't sure if he would recover. But he is doing very well. Have him sit up every once in a while to get him acclimated to it again. You've got a good head on your shoulders, Fire Lady. Use your judgement. If you think he can do more, then let him." I nodded. Then he looked at Zuko, "don't push yourself too hard." he repeated, "Listen to your wife. She's a smart lady."
"Yes, she is." Zuko smiled. Then I heard his stomach growl and he looked at me, "Man, I'm hungry." Zuko said. Of course he was hungry. He hadn't eaten in a week.
"Something simple to start with. Maybe soup. Nothing too much. Work yourself back up to normal food." Fen said.
"I'll make sure he gets something." I said. "Thank you, Fen."
"He doesn't need to be woken up anymore. His eyes are dilating normally now and he is presenting as normal in every other way." That was a relief. I knew that was a very good sign. The weight on my chest was starting to lift and I felt better about the whole situation. Fen finished his examination and left the room. Now that Zuko was doing better he didn't sleep in the room anymore. As promised, I put Izumi back next to Zuko. He put his arm around her and she snuggled in.
"Mommy, does that mean Daddy is going to be ok?" Izumi asked.
"Yes, darling. Your Daddy is going to be just fine." I said. Izumi's little face beamed. "But we still have to be gentle with him, ok?" I said. Izumi nodded. She reached her hand up to his face and gently stroked it, barely even touching his skin.
"You get better, Daddy." she whispered, very gently patting his cheek. Zuko chuckled, took her hand into his and kissed it.
"I will, Turtleduck." Izumi snuggled closer to him and closed her eyes.
"Izumi, when his food gets here, you will need to let him eat, Ok?"
"Yes, Mommy." she said. I reached over and tousled her hair.
"Good girl." I said. She really was very well behaved. I walked over to the door and popped my head out to one of the servants. "Belna, go to the kitchen and ask for them to make some soup for Zuko, please. Doctor said he can finally eat." Belna smiled and scurried off. The staff all loved their Fire Lord and she was happy that he was recovering.
I laid down next to Zuko and, for the first time since this whole ordeal happened, he lifted his arm and I snuggled into our favorite position. This felt so nice. It felt right. After a little while there was a knock on the door. I got up to answer it and it was Zuko's food. I opened the door for Belna to bring the food in. I walked over to Izumi.
"Don't wake her, Sam. She's alright. I can eat with her there." Zuko said. He slid himself up in bed and sat up, Izumi still sound asleep. I looked down at her peacefully sleeping form.
"Just set it down next to him on the chair. I'll help him." I said. She did as she was told and then left the room. I picked up the bowl, "Do you think you can hold it?" I asked.
"Yeah, I think so." he said. I handed it to him and kept my hand there for a moment until I was convinced he could hold it independently. He lifted it to his mouth and tipped the bowl, drinking the broth. He closed his eyes, enjoying the food encountering his palate. "Man, this feels so good." he said.
"I bet it does. Don't eat too fast, Zuko. You don't want your stomach to reject it." I said. He nodded and slowed down. I handed him the bread. He soaked it with the broth and ate it. After he finished, I placed the bowl back on the tray. "How do you feel? Your stomach feel ok?"
"Yeah, it feels fine. I could go for another bowl though." he said.
"No, Zuko. Remember what Fen said. Slowly." I said. He rolled his eyes and leaned back. I walked around the bed and laid down next to him and laid my head on his thigh, facing him. He stroked my hair with his hand. He rested his head back against the headboard and closed his eyes. I laid there watching him as he continued to stroke my hair. I started to think about the past few days, how I almost lost him and I started to cry. He looked down at me, feeling me crying and my tears soaking through his pants. He wiped the tear away from my face with the back of his finger.
"Don't cry, Fire Lily." he said, stroking my face. I reached up, held his hand and I continued to cry.
"I was so scared I was going to lose you. That I would be raising Izumi alone and running this country alone. Never again feeling your presence next to me or your touch or your kiss or-" he placed his finger over my lips to stop me.
"I'm right here, my love. And I'll be fine. I love you, my Sam. You're my life." he said which made me cry harder.
"And you are mine, my love. I don't know how I would ever live without you." I said. He continued to stroke my face until I stopped crying, then resumed stroking my hair.
"Sam?" he said. I knew what he was going to say.
"Not now, Zuko. Not with her in here. I don't want to scare her." I said. He was silent for a few seconds and then spoke.
"You're right. But you will tell me?"
"Yes, the first opportunity. I promise." I said. He kept stroking my hair which quickly put me to sleep.