Disclaimer: I still don't own the characters of Twilight and BTVS.

Small author's note:

Non main character Thoughts

Xander/Hyena Thoughts

Edward's Thoughts

This chapter is in Xander's PoV since he was traumatized by the diabolical Will o' the Wisp that is probably traveling at top speed with the remains of his jeans around his ankles to his home… muahahaha.

-New Watchers Council Headquarters in the Land of Tea & Tweed, 7:00 am-

A phone rings down through the main hall corridor annoying all in its wake. A young girl hoping to prevent grumpy slayers without caffeine attempting to slay the evil ringing beast rushes towards it.

"Hello you've reached the Watchers Council. If you have the apocalypse we have the time. Dawn speaking how can I help you?"

"DAWN! I need to speak to Giles or Willow immediately I have just had an Oogly Boogly encounter of the sparkly kind and need information."

"Okay Xander calm down. Didn't they send research books to you so that you could be the one turned to for information?"

"No time to pretend to read. There was an actual sparkly orb in my new house… I think it was a Will o' the Wisp. I'm too young to die especially while I have an inner bitch laughing at me."

"Xander, how many apocalypses have you survived? Besides a Will o' the Wisp would only be dangerous if you followed it."

"I wasn't going to follow it up to the second floor where I could fall through the floor."

"Then your fine and don't need help right now. Unlike me who is staring at 30 slayers that your call woke up that didn't get to sleep until about 3:00 am."

"Sorry Dawnie. I recommend emergency donut run with coffee stat."

- Xander's House in Forks, 2:30 am -

Xander searches through one of his special supply trunks, tossing stakes and crucifixes out as he continues his search.

Where in the 43 hell dimensions did I put that book of spells?

I thought we agreed that you plus magic was bad for all involved.

No we agreed me plus magic plus half naked young people walking around is bad… as long as no half naked young person walks by I should be able to concentrate.

That's right. I remember you going from Latin to Gurgle which then summoned that Fyarl demon.

Hey we were in Slayer Central… not like the thing got out into the public.

As the argument continued Xander finally found the first magic book he properly learned from "Spells and Incantations for the Mystically Challenged". He thought it was for people that are constantly challenged by magical beings/creatures. Turned out it should have been called "Magic for Dummies" but it at least taught him the basics and some real simple spells that even he couldn't mess up when he hasn't had sugar or caffeine.

Now where is that spell for guardian of the home?

GRRR!

Down Cujo it isn't like you can come out of me to protect the house.

Setting up an altar in the living room was relatively easy for the Scooby thanks to his trust emergency altar supply bag. After setting up and lighting the single white candle that the ritual calls for he began.

Се заштитат ова место од злото, кое талка да ги задржи безбедно овој дом. А духот барам помош во оваа услуга, која може да се суди душа правилно со правдата.

Okay… that was all she wrote. I hope my Macedonian was okay.

I still can't believe how many languages you learned doing research when you hardly ever actually researched.

Shut up Fluffy. I wonder if the spell is like a good pizza place and takes time to create a guardian. Like in 30 minutes or less our soul should be in delivery.

A throat clears startling Xander from his musing to reveal a tall man in front of him that seemed to have an air of authority. Guessing that it was the spirit he called for considering the guy seemed to be faded like an old photo Xander picked his tongue off the floor to introduce himself.

"Hi um… I'm Xander."

Blink.

"Sorry if I seemed a bit stunned but most guardian spells I've seen cast summon an animal to do the guardianing… er I mean guarding."

Sigh.

"You have no idea where you are, do you Xander?"

"Sure I do. I'm in Forks, Washington. Do you have a name or should I call you Glass Ass since you look see throughish?"

"You can call me Black and in a way you did get an animal guardian."

Black slowly faded away.

"Hey where are you?"

"Doing my job."

"Okay, well just make sure you don't hurt or scare someone that isn't evil. Especially the bronze guy Edward Cullen, he's been really sweet."

"You have the survival instinct of a Lemming don't you?"

Laughter could be heard after that statement but Xander wasn't worried after all he's survived apocalypses, mummies, mating mantis ladies, and 30 slayers all on the same cycle with no chocolate or Midol in a 30 mile radius. He also still has that magically enchanted battle axe Willow gave him to keep him safe. He can tell who is evil and who is not after all he is the one who sees. Black will see that Xander doesn't have the survival instinct of a Lemming he only wishes he does.

Author's Note: Well another chapter bites the dust. Leave any feedback you feel like. I hope that