We stand in the snow for what seems like forever, and finally make the unspoken decision to head home. Neither of us says a word, but exchange slight gestures, and wave to our neighbors. When we get back to my house, I help Peeta out of his muddy shoes, and snowy clothes. We sit by the fire, and hold each other, until I have to force myself to take off my own stiff clothes.
The next hours are a blur. After I got the courage to leave Peeta, I jumped into a nice warm bath. Got out and let Peeta get in. I made dinner, and then went to sit by the fire again. All the disturbing thoughts rush to my mind while staring at the flames. Rues death, all the people I've killed, the Tracker Jacker venom coursing through my veins, Gales terrible hatred for the Capitol, my mother drifting away from us after my father died, Peeta trying to kill me, Finnick's brutal death, the look on President Snows face when I killed Coin, all the times I almost lost Peeta and Gale. And finally, seeing Prim die. All those terrible emotions rush at me all at once; I feel the tears running down my face and do nothing to stop it.
I sense him coming up from behind me, and cradling me in his arms. He knows not to say anything, and just makes soft soothing sounds. I see him come around me and kiss my cheek. But am so paralyzed by the pain that I can't even respond.
I lay my head back on his chest and drift into a troubled sleep. I have the same dream I've been having for the past year. It starts off simply with me and Gale out hunting in the woods. Then he turns to me and takes my hands. That's where the terror starts. I stare into his eyes which are unchanging, but his body transforms into one of the mutts that still haunt me from the first Hunger Games. There are howls, off in the distance quickly getting closer. I back away from Gale into a tree, and he pins me down with his paws. I scream but no sound comes out. That's when I see them.
There are more, at least two dozen more. All mutated mutts, with the eyes of my loved ones. Rue, Prim, my mother, Finnick, Beettee, and several others; then I see him; snarling at me, and I could almost burst into tears. Peetas beautiful blue eyes, attached to a mutts body. He's the one that comes closer. Gale backs off of me, and Peeta runs up, poised, and attacks. He hits his target.
I jolt up flailing, screaming his name and I wake up Peeta. We're in bed, and he's lying next to me. He rolls over and wraps his arms around me again, whispering comforting words. As I slowly calm down, he kisses me, and I return the favor. As I fall back asleep, I catch him staring at me in a way he hasn't in a long time. With guilt. And I slowly come to realize that I'm not the only one being hurt by my nightmares.
As I'm about to drift back into my hellish world, I will myself to comfort Peeta back. We just lay their soundlessly, motionlessly, clutching each other, until we see the sunrise.
Peeta gets out of bed and stretches; but I refuse to leave the comfort of my covers until well after noon. There's a knock on the door, and since Peeta went over to his house, I have to get up and get it. It's Haymitch. He's standing in my door way looking extremely pleased with himself. Well actually, he looks as drunk as ever, but he has some dumb smile on his face which tells me he's happy about something.
"I got her to come out!"He nearly giggles, and then leans in anticipating my excitement. "Who?" He laughs like it's completely obvious. "Well your mother of course!" I take a step back and almost bolt away, but I'm stopped by Peeta coming around the corner. I think about how I haven't seen my mother since I left the Capitol, over two years ago. I stumble forward onto the steps, past Haymitch and into a pillow like patch of snow.
My mind is suspended for a few moments as I hear the faint sounds of snow shifting getting increasingly louder; until they over whelm me and I feel my body being lifted up and out of the snow.
My eyes have completely glazed over and I can no longer tell what's happening to my body. But I feel warmers, the sensation of freeze has taken over my entire face and I cannot determine what has caused this discomfort. "My mother?" The words come out involuntarily, and I can't stop them. "The last thing I said to her, was how I never wanted to see her again." And instantly, the room pauses. I feel the weight return to my feet and my body shifts onto a sturdy shoulder.
A sweet emptiness comes down upon me as sink back down to the floor, and the shapes fade to blackness.