Fangs and Fury

Author Note: Okay, so I know next to little about drug withdrawal so any medical stuff is being used for purpose of fiction. Also, yeah. Dean may seem like a jerk at times but I promise it will get better as he slowly figures stuff out.

Chapter Six

"'Killing me.'"

Those two little words had been playing themselves over in Sam Winchester's head for the past five days and he never let them go, especially on those few times he let himself sleep and would have to allow his brother to be watched over by someone else.

The old fishing cabin that Bobby Singer owned with Jim Murphy was a bit larger than a simple fishing cabin deep in the bayou and for that Sam was thankful since it meant a bit more room. He didn't think he could handle being right on top of a vampire that he still had issues with.

Though Sam was forced to admit that Benny came in handy for some things since the young hunter had been trying to figure out how to steal or borrow the medical stuff that Dean would need to recover from both his wounds and the lost blood.

He'd been close to speechless when the vampire finally arrived at the cabin, only about three hours behind the Winchesters, with not only necessary supplies like food, gas for the generator, candles and other vital stuff but he'd also brought several bags of blood in Dean's type…not that Sam wanted to think too hard on how that detail had been known.

Also among the medical supplies were bandages, salve for the bite marks, bags of clear saline to keep Dean hydrated for what both Sam and Benny realized was going to be a long time of withdrawal and recovery and antibiotics.

Benny most kept to himself in the main part of the cabin or outside until he almost felt it was time to relieve Sam in his almost constant vigil in the back bedroom where he and Dean had agreed would be the best to put him.

This was one of the quiet times they seemed to go through now and while it near silence bothered Sam, he was also glad that they'd passed the point where all Dean did was scream, curse, fight both the ropes holding him to the bed or Sam himself when he tried to get close to him.

Turning from the window that would allow him to see the water where he and Dean would fish as kids if they came down here for any reason, Sam let his gaze fall on his brother much like it had since this stage of recovery began.

Dean was still pale despite the new blood he'd been given but Sam understood now it was due to a lack of nutrition since getting Dean to eat was next to impossible and what he had gotten in him had just come right back up.

The ride to the cabin had been more quiet and tense after Dean dropped it on him that he wanted Benny to kill him if things got to the point where he couldn't be controlled or the symptoms got too bad.

Those two damn words still rang in his head and Sam recalled nearly wrecking the Impala in his haste to stop just to stare at his brother.

The fight had been brief, brutal, but to the point and it still left Sam feeling a mixture of hurt, anger, pain and fear because while the one side of his brain understood where Dean was coming from the other side of him, the little brother side, didn't want to accept the possibility of having to step aside to let the vampire do what Dean wanted done.

Sam pushed that aside as he stepped to the bed to go through the routine of checking to be certain the heavy ropes were still tied securely to both keep Dean tied so that when he fought the pain of not having the drugs he'd been given and he tried to get free that he couldn't.

They'd gotten to the cabin with enough time to spare that Sam had been able to clean most of the wounds and bruises his brother had gained from the nest of vampires, stitching the knife wound in his thigh and helping Dean take a brief but hot shower despite Sam's argument that he needed to rest before his body started craving what was no longer there.

Dean had insisted and like usual he'd won the battle. Now as he let his fingers run back through his brother's short hair and felt it sticky from sweat of both the heat and humidity of the cabin as well as the fever he'd spiked two days earlier, Sam understood.

His brother had wanted to wash away the pain, the dried blood, sweat and memories of being the vampires' prisoner before he became a prisoner of his own body and mind.

Sam had resisted using the heavy ropes but again had given in to Dean's demands and then had bit his tongue when his older brother, the one who would end up tied with them, had sat on the bed and given him instruction on how to run the ropes.

"'I don't remember being this way with you when you tied me down to ride out the last demon blood trip,'" Sam could've kicked himself for thinking that much less saying it out loud since neither of them liked to remember that time in their lives.

"'You weren't. You were too far gone to notice that I was this same way with Cas and Bobby over you,'" Dean shot back without any heat as he pulled the rope that would go over his waist before lifting his eyes. "'Pull this tighter.'"

He had hated the moment when it became readily clear that the ropes would be needed and was glad that he'd given in, yet again, to Dean's orders to tie him before the situation got bad because from the first moment Sam woke up to the sounds of his brother's shouts and seen how much he was struggling against the ropes he knew that he'd never had gotten him restrained.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Sam wet the end of a wash cloth to gently wipe it over the bare skin of Dean's arms since they'd both agreed he'd need a shirt on to try to cushion the one rope that was hooked around and under the bed in some system that Sam was sure he'd never figure out and really didn't want to know where his brother had learned it.

Aside from the brief conversation in the Impala on the way here five days earlier, they hadn't talked much and Sam wasn't sure to be grateful for that or not.

The talk in the car had mostly been a fight over Dean's decision to let Benny kill him if he didn't snap out of the withdrawal or he got too violent.

It wasn't a shock that his brother decided to have the vampire be the one to do that because on the one hand Sam knew Dean was fully aware that he'd never be able to kill him, not even in self-defense, while on the other one he figured with all of their problems Dean would know that Benny could do it without failing him again.

Once at the cabin their discussions were mostly centered around Sam cursing as he tried to clean and dress wounds and Dean giving matter of fact instructions on what to do once the withdrawal started and what not to do.

"'Do not, under any circumstances, let me loose,'" Dean had told him once, looking like he wanted to reach over the bed to touch Sam's shoulder as he bent to hook the ropes to the headboard but pulled back at the last second. "'I don't care if I'm choking and turning blue. You do not untie me unless you're damn certain the worst is over and then you don't touch me.'"

Sam had been hoping that his brother would stop pushing him away so much after this. He'd been hoping that Dean's desire to keep him away from the vampire mess had just been a way to keep him out of danger and he really did want to believe what Benny had said to him that night but it was so hard when his brother's gruff side just kept shoving him away and not letting him in.

He ran a finger over the bracelet he still wore and pushed down the brief burst of nausea that wanted to come from his own injuries as he continued to reclean and dress the worst bite marks that he could reach and do without possibly waking Dean.

Sam kept away from the IV line that was keeping fluids going into Dean and was relieved that he no longer needed blood even though he realized that it was the fresh blood and saline going in that had pushed the withdrawal to a head as well.

Moving a hand back up, Sam winced as his shoulder pulled and a quick glance over made him sigh. He'd pulled a couple stitches but hadn't reported that to either Dean, who had asked him multiple times if he was hurt, or Benny, who probably already could tell he was bleeding again.

Watching Dean's face like he started doing a few days ago for signs of pain or dreams which had become Sam's way of telling when his brother would be waking up, he noticed that while Dean's eyelids seemed to be slightly more active so far his still looked calm and he could only hope that meant that the worst of this would soon be over.

For the most part the withdrawal had gone down the same way it had when Dean was eighteen or as much as Sam recalled from what he'd heard.

He'd put up a brave front to fight the building pain for the first six or so hours before he began to strain against the ropes that held him tight by the wrists, ankles, over the waist and legs.

That's when the fun kicked up because before it had been Pastor Jim and their Dad who got the brunt of the verbal abuse as Dean started off low with just asking to be let go or something to take the edge off.

When that didn't work Dean got louder, more abrasive and a lot more creative in his threats and insults and while Sam had heard a lot out of his brother over the years, especially since his return from Purgatory, he had to admit that more than a few of the verbal jabs had hurt.

Though he knew that was the intent. To hurt him, make him angry enough to give in like he nearly always did to Dean only this time…this time Sam was aware that to help his brother he couldn't give in to the abuse or threats or insults. He just had to take them while trying not to break in front of Dean.

Three times in the five days Benny had to step in to break up the verbal assault. Twice because Dean was clearly reliving his time in Purgatory and refused to allow Sam near him and his raggedly screams threats hadn't made sense to the younger Winchester except to tell him there was a lot about his brother's time down there that Dean was repressing.

The last time however Dean had just been lashing out viciously. Hurling every kind of insult, threat, or jab that he could think of right then at Sam and it was only when he began hitting below the proverbial belt with the hurtful words and Sam was having a hard time holding back any reaction that he felt the hand on his good shoulder.

"'Take a walk, Sam. Time Dean cooled down and you're too close to it now. Go on. Give me fifteen minutes with him,'" the vampire's eyes hadn't left Dean as he was nudging Sam out of the room.

Sam had been torn between wanting to stick it out despite the tears he could feel coming or taking Benny's advice to let things cool down. He'd known what Dean was doing because his brother knew all the tricks to get to him and it was for that reason that in the end he had left the room but only going so far as the kitchen to wipe his face.

Even right now Sam wasn't sure what the hell had happened in the bedroom between Benny and Dean but fifteen minutes later when he'd exited, offering Sam the same easy going smile as he had the night they'd first met; Dean had calmed down a little or at least calmed down to the point where he'd offered a quiet apology when Sam went back in.

Truth be told, the apology actually scared Sam more than any of his brother's worst outbursts because Dean hardly ever apologized or if he did it was usually because Bobby or someone was aiming a shotgun at him.

After that it seemed like they hit a pretty steady pattern of how things went. Dean would sleep between three of four hours at night with a quick forty five minute nap in the afternoon, long enough for Sam to grab something to eat, before the severe pain, shakes, convulsions and screaming would pick up for the rest of the time.

The first time Dean had started convulsing had terrified Sam because he wasn't sure how to keep his brother from hurting himself. Being tied like he was prevent too much damage and all Sam could do was sit beside him and hold his head still while talking to him.

Sam was fairly certain he'd talked himself hoarse those first few times and he hadn't been aware of the tears that had fallen until in one of his more lucid moments Dean had called him a girl and it had been so nearly normal for them that Sam had nearly broken down and told his brother everything.

After that while Dean still shouted, screamed and railed at anything and about anything, he did seem to have a limit and Sam had noticed that his brother, even strung out and in agony, was watching what he said to him now and never went over the line that included mentioning their parents or Jessica or what Dean believed Sam had been doing the past year.

Of course Dean could still toss little jabs out that hurt but Sam accepted those and mostly shrugged them off. He hated not being able to touch Dean or get close when things got too bad but even Sam had to admit that his big brother could still be dangerous even tied like he was.

It had taken only two stitches and a good dousing with antiseptic to clean the wound he'd gotten after his stubborn sibling, in the heat of a nightmare or screaming fit, had managed to bite him and once again it was Benny who had put a stop to that and had gotten Dean's fingers out of Sam's hair where he'd latched on with a grip of death.

Now Sam made certain to stay away from the top of the bed when his brother was awake and agitated. He was mostly in the room except for the times when Dean got too bad or his memories of Purgatory surfaced.

Sam believed Dean fought and screamed more during those times than anything else and it was in those moments that he didn't complain when he felt Benny enter the room because he understood that no matter how much he wanted to that he couldn't help his brother right then.

He'd finally cracked a little to let the surface emotions out the first night he'd been forced to let Benny stay with Dean, to calm him down and reassure him that he wasn't in Purgatory anymore.

Benny usually spent a few hours in the room in order to give Sam time to try to sleep or eat or shower, things he wouldn't do if he was with Dean because he didn't feel right doing the things that his brother couldn't right then.

The first time he'd left Benny alone with Dean though had been rough and those two words hit him hard and he made certain the vampire understood that if he touched his brother he'd be dead a second later.

Scrubbing a hand over his tired eyes, Sam bit back a groan as he stretched his knee out and reminded himself to try to put some ice on it before Dean woke up again.

Having suffered various injuries over the years assured Sam that he hadn't broken or hurt the knee too badly. It was just sore and swelled right then which made walking or standing a pain in the ass but he couldn't keep it elevated or iced like he knew it should be if he wanted to stay with Dean.

Sixteen years earlier it had taken two weeks of screaming and agony before the worst of it was over. Sam prayed to a God he still tried to believe in that his brother didn't have to suffer that long this time because he wasn't sure either of them could handle that.

His other concern was Morrison. Sam knew the hunter was still out there and would be looking for him even harder now after the scene at the motel.

Sam had faced a lot of crap in his life. He'd been down some dark roads and faced some heavy stuff without blinking and while he'd never willingly admit it to Benny or even Dean, unless forced, he was scared to death of the next encounter with Shane Morrison.

Dealing with demons, angels, ghosts or the like was something that didn't make Sam blink but he hated dealing with evil of the human nature…especially someone as twisted as Morrison already was.

He would've preferred putting miles between the hunter and his brother because while Sam hated the thought of dealing with the man again he had bigger fears of what the Morrison could do to Dean while he was in this state.

"God, please wake up, Dean," he whispered, feeling burned out and just wanting to sleep but refusing to until he knew Dean would be safe or his brother could coherently tell him it was safe to sleep.

Five days of listening to his older brother scream until his voice gave out, of begging and pleading to be untied or just for something to make the pain stop; of cleaning him up of spit, puke and things that Sam never wanted to think about again and of dealing with the distrustful looks, the sulking moods, the hurtful words.

It had been five days of hardly sleeping, very little eating, drinking more caffeine than Sam thought he'd drank since getting rid of Lucifer in his head and five long days of wondering when the moment would come when he'd get that dark, nearly ice cold look and be told to get the hell out.

Sam closed his eyes long enough to blink the spots out from in front of them then pinched the bridge of his nose before looking up toward the ceiling.

They hadn't seen or heard from Castiel in a while which wasn't anything new and Sam knew he'd given up seriously praying since he first learned that most Angels he'd met weren't what he'd always believed them to be but by this point his nerves and emotions were so frayed that he was willing to try anything.

"Cas…whoever listens to this stuff these days, it's been a long time since I've done this or talked to you guys…not since Dean first disappeared last year and I…anyway, please help him make it out of this one," Sam looked back to see if his brother was still sleeping but relaxed when he didn't notice any change.

"Dean's survived Purgatory, or at least I think he survived it, and even if he hates me or thinks I didn't look for him he's still my brother and…I know we've both in a pain to you guys up there but if you could just help him get over this…help him come out of this without being too hurt and let the need go away then you can do whatever you want to me or however this works or…"

Sam jerked when he heard the doorknob turn and swore under his breath as he quickly slashed at his eyes to try to clear them. "Yeah?"

"You want me to spell ya for a bit?" Benny had waited until it had nearly gotten dark before coming to check on the Winchesters and if he'd heard Sam speaking to Heaven in a plea to help Dean recover he didn't let on as he leaned on the knob.

"Uh…no, thanks," Sam coughed to cover the shakiness in his voice, making certain his eyes were dry and his face calm before glancing over. "Dean's still sleeping so we're good. It's when he's awake that he remembers how much he…" he cut that off because he didn't need to think on it much more. "We're fine."

'Sure he is,' Benny thought to himself, seeing the lie for what it was but avoiding it for the moment to merely nod. "Okay, then I'll take a run back to that little place a few miles back to grab some food for you tonight and some beer," he thought that maybe Sam would be more at ease if he was away from the cabin for a little while. "Be back in about an hour or so?"

Thinking to himself that it was pretty bad when even a vampire could see him and wanted to get space, Sam nodded. "Yeah and hey…see if they have some type of pie," he smiled a little even though the sadness never left his eyes when they glanced back toward Benny. "He'll want pie as soon as he wakes up enough and…I always manage to forget it."

"Sure, I'll grab something," the vampire agreed, starting to turn but stopped to look back and sighed as he took in Sam's tense shoulders and the way he still hovered over Dean but knew the second the older man began coming around that Sam would be across the room and letting on that he hadn't just spent the past couple hours cleaning wounds or trying to stick tissues under the ropes around Dean's wrists and ankles.

Benny didn't know what Dean had said to Sam while in the Impala on the way here or even after the brothers had arrived but he had a hunch it wasn't close to what the pigheaded jackass should have told the kid.

Sam still believed his older brother didn't trust him and would choose anyone else over him and after that one scene he'd walked in on and broke up, the vampire guessed he could see where Sam had gotten that opinion.

"He doesn't hate you, Sam," he spoke up, knowing that was still what was going on by the way Sam tensed. "Dean don't know what the hell he's saying right now and that night he was mostly seeing crap from below so just wait it out and talk to him once he'd awake."

"Dean doesn't talk. Dean yells or shuts down but my brother hardly ever talks…or at least he doesn't to me," Sam returned quietly, not bothering to look back as he added in a softer tone. "I guess he only talks to you or Cas."

"Then I guess the three of us are just gonna have to have us a good old fashion sit down when he's awake and stuff," the vampire replied, giving the pair another look before starting to step back. "Unless you fall over from that shoulder bleedin' again, that is," he added. "I'll be back in a bit."

Sam growled a little under his breath at that but stayed still until he heard the truck drive off then blew out a breath while glancing up at his sleeping brother with a snort. "He's more annoying than you can be," he complained, seeing the first flicker of movement of Dean's eyelashes and groaned. "You wait until Benny leaves to wake up?"

If he didn't know better Sam would sometimes swear his older brother did stuff like this on purpose just to drive him to the point of exasperation but knew that wasn't true because right then Dean couldn't help anything he did or said…even if it sometimes looked differently.

"Please wake up a little better, Dean," he murmured to the room, wishing he knew how to make this better for both of them but knew that was next to impossible at the moment when right then as the pain surged in his own hurt body all Sam could think of was the Impala and what his brother had said toward the end…after the rather loud disagreement.

Flashback, Five Days Earlier, in the Impala:

"Killing me."

Sam's head jerked to the side as those words hit him like a gallon of ice cold water and then it was all he could do to bring the car to a stop without wrecking.

Tires squealed while the brakes screeched and burned as he slammed on them while jerking the wheel to bring them off to the side of the road rather than stop in the middle of the dark road, which had been his original plan once his brain began to function again.

"If I could feel my arms and didn't see two of you I'd probably kill you for that," Dean was tired and it was reflected in his voice and by the way he merely lifted one eyebrow at the way his little brother stopped the car.

"Screw it," Sam wasn't sure if he was more angry, hurt, or scared by what he'd just been told. "What the hell do you mean let Benny 'kill' you?" he demanded, turning to face his brother fully and resisted the urge to shake him in the hopes that it was the shock or drugs causing this reaction. "I know you're pissed at me for any number of things but…you are getting through this and there's no way I'm letting him…"

Dean had known how his brother would probably react to this plan. That was why he'd decided to drop it on him while they were alone and before pains and need got too much to handle.

He knew what his brother believed even without Benny getting in his face about it. He knew because Dean was only too aware that he'd popped off more than once to Sam recently and after years of growing up together he almost could tell what Sam would think about his actions or words.

Despite all the fights and bitterness he admitted had been getting worse, his need to protect Sam was still engrained in his nature.

Not talking about Purgatory, not sharing what he'd done or seen while trapped there had become locked in his mind and soul much like the events of Hell had been.

The elder brother figured he might've eventually shared with Sam more about that time and he might have even told him about Benny if he hadn't gotten so damn pissed off and hurt after finding out what his little brother had been doing, or what he believed he'd been doing…now Dean wasn't so sure what to think.

He'd been suspicious after Garth's call to warn Sam about Shane Morrison. Now with some things Benny had said, he was fairly certain that hitting a dog and meeting a girl wasn't the only thing his little brother had done in the year he was gone.

Though right at the moment, Dean knew they had to focus on other things, like whether or not he wanted Sam around him for what was coming.

"Dean!"

Dean realized Sam had been speaking to him, or more likely yelling at him and he'd missed the biggest part of it. "Indoor voice, Sam," he sighed, now fairly certain he had a concussion on top of everything else but refused to throw up in his own car and not having the strength to open the door. "I just don't want…"

"I know you don't want me here! You've made that abundantly clear for a month or so but regardless of how much you think I've screwed up or haven't been there for you, I'm still your brother and I'm not walking away from this," Sam snapped, glad most of the car was dark so he didn't have to worry about his brother seeing the full hurt expression on his face or see the tears that were threatening now. "If I had been there this time those damn vamps might not have grabbed you or…"

"Or they could've nailed both of us or you or…" Dean wondered if he sounded as tired or uncaring right then as he thought he did and figured he must have by the soft sound he heard from next to him. "Sam, I…when did I say I didn't want you here?"

Shit, was that what Sam was thinking? Was that what he'd been letting his brother think? Of course even with all the fights over Ruby, the demon blood and letting Lucifer out Dean supposed he'd never come right out and said half of what he had recently and if Sam was hiding something from him then that also explained his little brother's reactions to the fights.

"You said Benny'd been a better brother to you. Kind of read between the lines there and since you don't trust me enough to have your back or open up to me again well it's pretty clear that…" Sam stopped before he either said the wrong thing or made this worse, shaking his head. "You got over this before and you can…"

"I was eighteen and had been shot up by some stupid cult. This is totally different this time, Sam," Dean knew that because he could feel the difference even now. "I've been to Hell and Purgatory. I'm a lot more dangerous than I was back then, especially if I lose it too much and…I don't want to hurt you so…"

"What difference would it make?" the question was out before Sam realized he'd spoken it out loud and only realized he had when he saw the flicker of the muscle in Dean's jaw twitch like it usually would when his brother was getting angry. "I mean…I just mean there've been plenty of times over the years that we've gotten hurt helping the other so why would this change anything?"

Wanting to reach over to each either cuff the younger man in the head or pull him close, Dean made himself merely shift enough that he could turn to try to see his brother in the darkened interior. "Losing it in the withdrawals, forgetting where I am or trying to get free or something…" he sighed, not seeing anyway other way to say this without just flat out doing out.

"I'm still on edge from being in Purgatory, Sam. The things I did, the things I had to let myself do to survive down there…if it gets too bad then the term hurting you may be an understatement," Dean told him, feeling his fingers suddenly curl around the door handle as a short but intense burst of pain shot through him, going on tightly. "I could kill you without realizing it was you, Sammy and that's why I made Benny promise to kill me. Now I want your promise that you'll let him."

Sam's breath had caught but he could feel the intensity of his brother's gaze and he let his own eyes dropped to the seat. "I…I…won't promise that, Dean," he finally got out, hearing hiss and going on quickly. "I will promise that I'll do my best to get you through this but…if and only if I think you're going too far down or it looks like you aren't pulling outta this like you should then…I'll let him ki…"

The last words broke off because Sam couldn't bring himself to say it. He couldn't face failing Dean that badly that his brother would need to be killed, especially by a vampire. "When you get better…there's something I think I need to talk to you about…unless you really want me gone and then I'll…"

"Damn, Bobby would kill me for this mess," Dean mumbled under his breath, trying to remember but failing to recall the last real time he'd heard Sam sound so lost, so nearly broken and knew most of it was his fault because he's allowed the pain, stress and bitterness to get to him and he'd taken it all out on Sam.

"Okay, I'll make you a deal…damn, this really hurts now," he bit his lip but tensed at the feel of an almost hesitant hand on his wrist. "You…don't kill Benny, no matter how annoying he gets or if I get bad and we'll talk once I wake up. I'll tell you some stuff about last year."

Sam had frozen at this and knew Dean was in bad shape if his brother was agreeing to talk about Purgatory. He started to move his hand when he felt Dean's hand turn over to grip his wrist with a hold that was tighter than he'd been expecting.

"We'll talk, Sam," Dean needed that point stressed because he knew by the tone in his brother's voice that it wouldn't take much more to cause Sam to bolt but he couldn't drop the walls right then or tell Sam any more than he was or until he found out what he might've already been told. "Promise me that you'll stay away if it gets too bad?"

"Did you listen to that one when I tried to get you to promise me that the last time I detoxed?" Sam countered, almost smiling when he heard the soft curse then sighed when the grip squeezed again. "I…won't leave you alone but…I'll agree to back off when I need to. Okay?"

That wasn't really okay with Dean but he knew at this point it was the best he was going to get out of his brother and nodded. "Fine. Now, can you get us there without scratching my baby or should I drive?"

"If I let you drive it'll be more than scratches on her that you'll have to worry about," Sam retorted but turned the key to start the ignition, forcing himself to focus on the road and getting to the old fishing cabin. "You're gonna be fine, Dean," he whispered more to himself than his brother right then. "You're gonna be fine."

Present time:

"You're…gonna…be fine," Sam wasn't even aware that he was talking to himself or that he'd zoned out until a sound from next to him took him by surprise.

"I…think I am…but I'm not…so sure about you right now."

Sam jerked around at the ragged voice to see deeply shadowed but almost clear green eyes watching him and he couldn't help but wonder how long he'd been in his memories because Dean's gaze was mixed between amused and concerned.

"Dean," he shoved to his feet and had to make a grab for the wall to keep his knee from buckling as he stood too quickly since he'd never let his brother know he was close to the bed during one of the calm times. "Uh, how long have you…sorry, I was just…"

"Overthinking," Dean nodded, guessing that while blinking his eyes to try to clear them a bit more as he took a slightly better look at Sam and despite still being a little hazy, tired, sore and feeling the need just on the edge of his mind he could honestly say his little brother looked as bad as Dean guessed he felt right then.

Sam's face was pale and shadowed with tired hazel eyes red rimmed with huge bags underneath them. Shaggy hair in disarray like it was when Sam would pull his fingers through it when he was nervous or hyper.

Taking in the clothes gave Dean a better idea to Sam's condition since he was fairly certain that was the same t-shirt he'd seen his brother wearing three days ago during one of his more lucid trips back to consciousness.

Giving his hands a casual move in the ropes as if he was either working to relieve the pain and strain in them or testing to see how tight they still were, he noticed the extra padding and also how the wounds were clean so it was clear to him that Sam was taking better care of him than he was of himself.

Noticing the way Sam was moving caused Dean to focus harder and he caught the stain on the shoulder of Sam's flannel shirt, seeing it was a bigger and darker stain than the last time he'd noticed it which made him itch to see what was under the shirt that could be bleeding.

Of course it also ticked him off if Sam was bleeding, with a vampire in the vicinity, and his brother wasn't treating it. Though then it hit him how much Sam was favoring and had been favoring his right leg, moving his head enough that as Sam tried to put more distance between himself and the bed he frowned.

"Sam?" Dean felt exhausted but he also felt starved and thirsty which told him that the worst of this must be over because he remembered the last time he'd gone through this that it had nearly been two weeks before he could even think of food on his own without feeling like puking.

Now, however, he was centered on Sam or actually more on Sam's right leg which was clearly injured if Dean took the way his brother was trying to keep his full weight off of it and the way the jeans seemed to be really tight around the knee area.

"Sorry, just a little…tired right now," Sam forced a smile, not sure why he was suddenly so on edge or why going back to the bed seemed to scare him except it was so much harder to avoid Dean's direct questions or the intense looks when he was close to him. "You need water. Hang on, I'll grab it."

"I need a beer," Dean countered, swallowing to try to wet his mouth and dry lips but giving up on that idea when it was plain that his spit had left him. "Though…water works too in a pinch," he knew he wouldn't be coming close to a beer for at least another week or less if he could swing it.

Sam grabbed a bottle of water from the cooler he kept in the bedroom for just such cases. Twisting it open he slowly came back to the bed because he knew his brother needed help drinking. "No biting this time?"

"Pay back for when you were teething," Dean didn't remember biting Sam but couldn't deny the teeth prints he could still see marring his brother's arm. "You bit me plenty of times."

Surprised at the way Dean seemed to be right then, Sam pushed it aside as he helped him lift his head enough to take a few sips of water before easing it back to see if the liquid would stay down this time. "Think you can handle a couple crackers? The saltines should help any nausea."

"Double bacon cheeseburger with extra onions would help that better but…I guess you don't have one of those handy, right?" Dean let his head fall back to the pillows with a sigh, feeling Sam's eyes staring at him and he couldn't help but shift his body more and suddenly hated the ropes more than he had even during the worst pains and urges.

"Umm, no, but keep the crackers down and we'll try for broth or something light and bland," Sam had to put the water bottle down when he realized his hands had begun to shake. "How…how're you feeling?"

He dreaded the question because it was hard right then to tell if his brother was giving him an honest answer or just saying what he thought Sam wanted to hear in order to get the ropes off.

Sam also dreaded it because he knew the moment Dean became lucid enough to understand and reason that he'd start asking questions and Sam wasn't prepared yet for that even though he was the one to say he needed to talk to Dean.

"I feel like I probably look," Dean returned, watching Sam from under his lashes and didn't miss the way his little brother was sitting or how he was playing with the bracelet he had back on his wrist. "I feel like I got used by a bunch of vamps for a food source, drugged to the gills and have been riding out the worst binge of my life. What's your excuse for looking like road kill?"

The ragged voice sounded like sandpaper, or someone who'd screamed for five days straight but there was still enough big brother infliction to make Sam squirm, running his left hand through his hair since even trying to move his right one up that high was no agony.

"Probably the same thing except I've been the one mostly awake while you rode the binge out," he finally replied, feeling the nudge of Dean's leg and winced since he figured how much just getting that much movement out had to hurt his brother right then.

"Did I hurt you?" Dean didn't like for how Sam was looking or more importantly not looking since normally his little brother should be doing huge, wet, tear filled puppy eyes but yet now it was like Sam couldn't bring himself to look at him. "Sam, look at me. Did something happen?"

"What?" Sam blinked; looking over on instinct to find himself locked in his brother's intense gaze and felt his chest tighten as it began to dawn on him that not once since realizing Dean was awake had his brother made the usual demands.

Seeing the way Dean was watching him, especially when his brother seemed to zero in on his shoulder, Sam quickly understood the question and shook his head, stunned that after everything he'd been through Dean thought he might've hurt him.

"No, nothing happened," he assured him, seeing and recognizing the way Dean's eyes narrowed. "Dean, aside from taking a chunk out of my arm and trying to rip my hair out one time you didn't touch me. You didn't hurt me," he added the last assurance a bit more slowly and quietly to try to convince his older brother.

Dean still looked doubtful but chose to let it go for the moment to look up at the ropes holding his wrists. "Sam? You know how I said not to let me loose until you were damn certain it was safe to?" he tensed his arms to test the ropes but didn't feel any give to them. "Feel free to do that any time now."

Taking in a deep breath, Sam hesitated. He could see Dean's eyes were still a little glassy but figured his brother was and would be in shock for a little while yet.

He'd gone through the mental checklist that he could remember his Dad and Pastor Jim doing before they'd let his brother loose the last time and he'd checked off most of the warnings mentally but Sam still was leery.

While both of them had grown up lying, conning, cheating and stealing when it was called for, Dean had been a master of it long before he'd even been a teenager and while normally Sam could tell if his brother was lying to him it had become more difficult with the strain between them.

"I…I can't do that yet, Dean," he murmured, not missing the sharp intake of breath or the small flash of emotion in those green eyes but looked away as he pushed himself to his feet again to put some distance between them before the yelling started. "Just…if you stay calm, if the pains don't come back for a few hours when you're awake and you can keep something on your stomach…then maybe tomorrow afternoon we can try it but…"

"Sammy," Dean knew this was his fault. He had been the one to tell his brother not to let him go no matter what and now he had to deal with it since he was pretty certain Sam was two steps into shock himself. "C'mon, have I yelled once? Have I snarled at you once since you stopped overthinking? Besides, don't you think it'd be a good idea to change this bed and I really need a shower, so untie the ropes, Sam."

It was clear that Sam wanted to just that but the other half, the half that knew the risks of Dean getting free if he was still sick, balked on it.

Hating this and wishing Benny was here to at least offer an opinion; Sam chewed his lip and heard the sound of the bed creaking as Dean now fully tested the ropes and he shook his head sadly. "No, not until tomorrow, Dean," he refused quietly. "I'm…sorry."

"Where's Benny?" Dean didn't plan on overruling his brother though it had been a plan briefly but now he mainly wanted to know where the hell the vampire was in case Sam dropped to the floor like the way he was weaving unsteadily suddenly suggested he might.

It wasn't until he caught the way Sam's whole body went rigid did Dean feel like biting his own tongue off, realizing with the way his brother felt toward Benny, with what Sam believed right then, that asking for the vampire would further make Sam believe he was getting shoved away.

"Damn it," Dean cursed himself, lifting his head and upper body as much as he could right then and once again swore at the ropes holding him. "Sam, wait a second. I just wanted to know why he wasn't here helping you," he tried to get that out quickly before Sam could shut him out.

Swallowing the sour taste in his mouth along with the brief burst of hurt that he'd almost allowed himself to think this would get better, Sam moved to the door to go check if Benny had returned yet. "He went to get some stuff and to give me space, I think," he told his brother quietly, laying a hand on the handle before looking back. "He'll be back soon if he's not yet and…he'll be in. I'll go heat up some broth of something if you want it."

"Sam, wait," Dean groaned, not sure if the pain was his own conscious kicking him or the strain he was putting on his arms as they stretched over his head. "Sammy, c'mon. Let me go and we can…" he realized that he was preaching to the choir and that Sam's mind was made up about waiting to undo the ropes, he slumped back to the bed to blow out a disgusted breath. "You know what you are, Sam?"

Dean had closed his eyes for just a moment to clear them again and he might not have opened them if he hadn't heard the soft, almost inaudible sound that sounded like a mix between a choked laugh and a sob.

It was a sound that he hadn't heard in a long time and one that he'd hoped he never would again because the last time he'd heard Sam make it his brother had been breaking from too much stress between them and not enough trust…just like now.

"Yeah, you never came right out and said it…yet but I figure I know what you're building up to, Dean," Sam remarked, finally looking over his shoulder and this time there was no longer any way to mistake the clear and present pain, hurt, shame and loss reflected in too large and wet hazel eyes that were in pure puppy eye power. "I know what kind of bastard I am and…I'll take off as soon as you're on your feet and…"

"Come again?" Dean stared then groaned in frustration. "Sam, listen to me. That's not what I meant and…I don't want you to leave," he knew he'd pushed too far this time, had hurt Sam too much and had to work quick to convince his little brother to listen to him even if it meant admitting things he didn't want to. "Sammy, I…I know I've said some crap but…Sam, you said Benny was gone?"

Dean had heard the noise only a second before Sam did but as the younger man went to turn back to the hall to step out to see if the vampire had returned or what it was, all Sam felt was a burst of white hot pain shoot through his skull as he collapsed to the floor with a groan and a thud.

"Sam?" Dean's head shot to the door but couldn't see anything with the way the damn door was half closed. "Sammy? Damn it, answer me. What was that and…sonuvabitch," he let out the oath in a whisper before the next few cursed were thrown viciously and with meaning as he glared at Shane Morrison.

"Well, well, looks like I interrupted some family bonding, Dean?" the hunter sneered, stepping into the room to gaze around it before falling on the fully restrained and now seething older Winchester. "Sounds like you and little brother have some issues. It's a pity you won't get to settle 'em."

Dean was tired and he may feel like crap but a single look at the sneering, smirking hunter wiped all that away for him and just left burning rage, along with worry for his brother suddenly. "What in the hell are you doing here, Morrison?" he demanded, voice deeper and huskier right then due to his throat but ignoring it as he tried once again to free himself. "Where's Sam? How'd you even find this place and why?"

"Money talks, Winchester," Morrison shrugged, not intending to admit that it'd been more than money that had finally gotten him told about the location of this old fishing cabin that Singer and Murphy once had and he'd figured if Sam was running that he might go there.

"As for what I'm doing here, that falls under the listing of asking your little brother…if you could," he laughed, stepping closer to the bed once he was assured that Dean couldn't get loose to attack him. "See, Sammy and me have some unfinished business from last year that I intend to finish now that the old man won't be sticking his nose in and…neither will you it seems."

Staring up while trying to make sense of this, Dean's mind clicked on Garth's call and Benny's odd comment about Sam being attacked and he went cold. "Where's my brother?" he demanded harshly, seeing the way the man's eyes kept sliding to the door. "Sam!"

"Oh, he won't be waking up until I have him someplace nice and quiet where all that damn screaming won't upset the neighbors this time," Morrison told him, leaning a knee on the bed to get in Dean's face since he enjoyed being able to tease the older boy while knowing he was helplessly tied.

"I told him back at that motel when I shot him that I was gonna tell you all about that time. All about those two weeks after I ran across him as he was looking for someone with a clue to find you, wherever the hell you took off to," he pressed a hand over the bandage on Dean's side and smiled cruelly when the younger man bit his lip to keep in the scream of pain.

He sat on the edge of the bed, propping a boot up on his leg as he watched Dean in a kind of sick amusement. "Y'see, it never bothered me what some others said about you boys. I'd always known your little brother was a freak of some kind and I know what's been said but I grabbed him and I beat on him, left him those nifty scars on his back and shoulders because I could…and I'll do more before I finally kill him this time."

Dean could feel his rage building but also felt his empty stomach flipping as things slowly began to hit him in waves. "You touch my brother, asshole and I'll…argh!" he couldn't quiet cover the cry of pain this time as a hard fist pounded into his kidney.

"No, there won't be no big brother tell me not to go near little Sammy this time, Dean," Morrison reached up to grab a handful of short hair to yank it back as he pulled a knife. "From what I hear, you boys ain't as close like you were and it seems like you got a new whipping boy to play with or so Sam thinks from what I heard," he ran the knife down Dean's throat. "I could kill you but I think I'll leave you alive. Besides, unless someone finds you, by the time you get yourself loose from these ropes, your little brother will be long gone or wishing he was.

"Though from what I heard out there, seems you boys aren't playin' too well together right now so maybe getting rid of the trash is just what you need," he chuckled, another fist to the head as he stood up while wishing he had time to play now but he wasn't sure if the Winchesters were alone or if the bastard who'd been with Sam at the motel was still hanging around.

"Sam…damn it…Morrison, don't touch him," Dean swore as he fought the ropes to get free, knowing his brother was hurt and not ready for this and also swearing to kill someone for not telling him any of this earlier. "Let Sam…mmmff!"

A worn piece of flannel was shoved in his mouth to stifle his furious shouts as his body strained in the ropes that he'd insisted Sam use. Now as he watched helplessly as the other hunter stroll out of the bedroom, whistling and describing his every move for Dean's benefit, the young man raged silently.

"Shame you and your big brother won't get the chance to patch this up, Sammy-boy," Morrison grunted a little under Sam's weight as he slung him over his shoulder, making no allowance not to hurt him more as he banged Sam against the doorway leading out of the cabin to his truck where he took the time to expertly tie and gag him.

Stepping back to the door, he leaned in to hear the muffled shouts and he laughed. "You have fun with your life now, Dean and don't worry too much about the freak. I'll take good care of him…while he's alive that is."

Dean heard the door slam but the mocking laughter stayed with him long after he heard the noise of the truck drive off and realized the son of a bitch must have coasted down the dirt road on approach so no one would hear him.

Tied to the bed and gagged, Dean was pissed at himself, pissed at anyone who'd known about Morrison and more than a little pissed at Sam for not telling him anything had happened with the asshole.

The injuries, nausea, thirst and any leftover desire for drugs were now far out of Dean's thoughts as he raged, knowing he was probably hurting himself more by straining but determined to get loose so he could hunt the bastard down who'd hurt his little brother and get Sam back before he could be hurt again.

Time stopped having any meaning for Dean as his thoughts drifted back to the hurt and loss he'd seen in Sam's gaze before this happened and he realized like a fool that Sam believed everything he'd been saying since he got back.

Dean had taken all the pain and bitterness of Purgatory out on Sam in the only way he knew how and his little brother had taken it all in, believing that Dean would rather have Benny around than him and…

"Hey! Sam?"

The sudden sound of whiskey and honey coated Cajun accent had Dean's head swinging toward the door and screaming as best as he could through the heavy flannel with an already torn up throat.

Benny had returned to the cabin later than he'd planned but he figured Sam could use the extra time. Though he picked up on something odd the second he entered the front door, seeing the way it looked like the lock was broke.

Calling for Sam as he carried in a few bags, he was about to sit them on the counter when the muffled scream reached him. Then bags and groceries went flying as the vampire tore through the cabin to the back bedroom, stopping in the door.

"What the hell?" he growled, taking in the fresh bruises on Dean's face and the gag while not finding or even smelling Sam but he felt his lips curl back as he picked up another smell. "Hang on a second, brother."

"Cut me loose and where the hell've you been?" Dean demanded as soon as the gag was gone and he could speak, jerking his wrists again. "Benny, get me outta these damn ropes, now!"

The vampire considered it briefly before taking in the rage in his friend's now fully clear eyes, reaching for the blade in his boot to go to work on the ropes. "What happened?"

"Shane goddamn Morrison is what happened," Dean growled, groaning as his first wrist came free and he had to resist the urge to pull it straight down in his haste to be moving. "Son of a bitch found out about this place and somehow tracked Sammy here and…Benny, you got that look that I know I'm gonna want to kick your ass over…what?"

Freeing the other wrist, Benny went to work on the ankles but not before noticing that Dean had managed to cut himself up pretty good with all the struggling he'd been doing to get loose. "Gonna guess that's the fella I tossed around back at the motel when he shot Sam," he now wished he'd broken his neck when he had the chance. "Sam didn't figure he was done."

"You were supposed to watch after him, Benny," Dean complained, rubbing the circulation back into his arms and ignoring the jagged rope burns and bloody welts on his wrists and ankles for the moment. "Wait, Sam was shot? That's why he's favoring his right arm?"

"Figure so," Benny nodded, cutting the final rope and wasn't a bit shocked when he had to grab for his friend's arm to steady him as Dean's first instinct was to push to his feet. "Easy there, brother. You need to settle back and get your bearings or…"

No, Dean knew what he needed to do and sitting still for one more damn second just wasn't it as he shrugged off the tight grip to catch himself on the wall while looking for his duffel and clean clothes.

"He's got too big a head start now," he argued, trying to think in too many ways and finally had to sit on the edge of the bed when his head spun too much and he nearly threw up. "I've gotta call some people and…"

Benny stood by to watch the hunter as he pulled on a clean T-shirt and jeans without even bothering to check the wounds or dress the welts now.

He could sense the rage billowing off of Dean as he managed to get around without too much hassle and only had to steady him once, backing off though at the way he felt Dean's muscles bunch under his hand.

While in town, the vampire had been considering the best way to approach his friend about this mess with Sam. He understood that Dean didn't want to talk to his brother about Purgatory, just like he suspected Sam didn't want to tell Dean about that missing time last year but for either Winchester to cope or heal, they needed to talk.

He also needed to make Dean see that he'd been an ass to a kid who still worshipped him basically. But as he watched Dean now, noticing that with each step, each curse and swear thrown at whoever he was cursing he could see the strength returning to his weakened body and figured he might not have too much to do in those regards now.

"What you plannin' on doin', Dean?" he asked calmly, smoothing a hand over his chin to hide his small smile as he was given the full on hard and intense green eyed glare of a pissed of Dean Winchester; the type of look that he hadn't seen on him except once in Purgatory and that was when one of those monsters had been foolish enough to bring Sam into the conversation.

Digging through his duffel to find his .45 and a belt, Dean looked back at the question. There was no doubt or hesitation in his mind as he reached for his jacket, ignoring the pain of stiff and sore muscles. "I'm going to go find the bastard who was stupid enough to touch my little brother and feed him his goddamn lungs before I get Sammy back…and you're gonna help me."

TBC

A/N: I know. I thought Sam could go one story without getting hurt and we'll see how fast Dean finds him. Getting to Sam isn't Dean's biggest issue though. Convincing Sam that he'd been wrong all these months and learning Sam's secrets face the boys ahead. Update soon.