AUTHOR'S NOTES: First of all, I need to issue a MAJOR warning for this chapter. You might recall that not only has Mirabel tried to kill herself several times, but the night after her 15th birthday, she technically succeeded - if only for a few seconds.
Early on, I briefly described the event from Antonio's point of view. In this chapter, not only is that scene expanded upon, along with the events that built up to that moment, but it's given from both Mirabel and Julieta's perspectives. This gets heavy, folks. If you're sensitive about such things, I understand you taking a pass on that part.
Also, the 'Four Months Ago' is when this all started, so there's at least a couple weeks in between scenes for the first part of the flashback.
Approx. 4 Months Ago...
Bounding up to Abuela, a handful of drawings in her hand, Mirabel beamed happily as she spoke quickly. "Abuela, I wanted to get your opinion on my quinceanera dress so I can start making it. Which design do you like the best?"
Pulling her dark shawl about her shoulders as she strode briskly towards the door, Alma Madrigal gave her granddaughter a look as she spoke crisply, "Mirabel, I don't have time right now. I have to get the invitations for Antonio's Gift ceremony to the printer. Last time, they had to be redone three times which should have been the first indicator that something would go wrong. We'll talk when I get back," she added, dismissively as she headed out the front door.
"O-Of course," Mirabel murmured quietly, turning and heading back up to the nursery.
When Antonio went to check on her later, he found his prima lying on her bed, facing the wall, and her carefully drawn designs crumpled up in the wastebin.
XXXX
"Isa! I need to ask you for a favor!"
Rolling her eyes in exasperation, Isabela paused as she headed towards the front door on her way into town to meet Mariano Guzman. "What do you want?" she asked, turning towards her little sister.
"I've been working on planning my quince since Abuela is focused on Antonio's Gift ceremony," Mirabel explained, trying not to let her grandmother's attitude detract from her upcoming 15th birthday celebration. "I was wondering if you'd be willing to make me a flower tiara, like the crown you made for me for my 10th birthday?"
Turning up her nose at the idea of being asked to do something so mundane, Isabela flipped her hair as she pointed out, "I thought that a quinceanera was supposed to be about growing up and not wanting to do childish things anymore." With a cutting smirk, she added, "Then again, you are still in the nursery, so I guess that fits."
Mirabel felt the sting of tears welling up in her eyes but she forced herself not to cry as she bit back a dozen insults and retorts. Turning and walking away, she headed back upstairs - not to the nursery, but to the stairs leading up to Bruno's old tower. No one ever bothered to look for her there.
Pulling her knees up to her chest as she sat with her back to the door, Mirabel buried her face in her arms, crying quietly.
XXXX
"Mirabel, we do not have time for this! Antonio's Gift ceremony is a little over two months away and we need to focus on that, not your birthday party!"
The words hit Mirabel like a slap in the face. It wasn't just any birthday. It was her 15th birthday! Her quinceanera! It was one of the most important events in her life!
It was supposed to be one of the most important events, she realized as her heart broke once again.
Like she was supposed to have her door and a magical room...
Like she was supposed to have a Gift...
"Mira, maybe after Antonio's party-" her mother soothed, seeing how upset she was.
"Forget it, Mama..." Mirabel snapped, shaking her head. "Whatever. It's not important, anyway."
XXXX
There were no presents piled on the table the morning of Mirabel's 15th birthday.
Her mother promised to do a special dinner that night but Mirabel didn't say a word as she ate breakfast and left the room, heading back up to the nursery.
She abandoned any hope of everyone surprising her with her birthday gifts that evening.
Why would they? Everyone was so wrapped up with planning Antonio's Gift ceremony and she was just Giftless Mirabel.
Balling up her right hand into a tight fist, she lifted the side of her blouse with her left hand before ramming her knuckles as hard as she could into her back, just above her hip. Doing it a second time brought a sharp ache that lingered and as she lay on her bed, she closed her eyes, a dark tempest of thoughts swirling through her mind.
If she were gone, it would be better for the family. Antonio could have the nursery to himself until he got his Gift and his door. Sure, he'd miss her at first, but he was so young... eventually she'd just become someone he only vaguely remembered.
Abuela could dote on the youngest Madrigal all she wanted.
Dolores wouldn't have to worry about hiding her prima's secrets.
She wouldn't be around to bother Isabela and Luisa anymore...
Tonight... after she was certain that Dolores was in her bedroom and asleep...
She couldn't take being trapped in this life anymore, being considered unimportant...
Getting up and going to her sewing table, she reached into a small drawer and when her fingers touched the handle of the knife hidden there, she promised herself... 'After tonight, it'll all be over... It'll be over and no one will ever have to worry about me again. I'm erasing the stain on the Madrigal family tree...'
x
The house was silent as Mirabel looked down at the knife in her hand.
Her parents had tried apologizing for not paying any mind to her birthday at dinner that evening, but the damage was done and when Abuela turned the conversation to Antonio, she snapped.
"That's all you care about, isn't it?!" Mirabel shouted, tears streaming down her face as she pounded the table, startling everyone. "Why should you care about me?" Mirabel sobbed, standing up. "I'm not important! I don't have a stupid Gift! What I want doesn't matter to any of you! My birthday - my quinceanera - That's not anywhere near as important as Antonio's Gift ceremony!"
"Mirabel, that is enough!" Abuela snapped, giving her granddaughter a stern look. "You apologize for interrupting dinner with your childish tantrum!"
"I'm sorry I was ever born into this family!" Mirabel wailed as she ran out of the room and up to the nursery, slamming the door.
She spoke to no one as she lay on her bed, staring at the wall, even though her parents and Antonio tried to console her.
When Tia Pepa had put Antonio to bed, she'd even gone over to Mirabel, stroking her hair and murmuring, "Clear skies, Mirabel. It'll all be alright, nube de tormenta."
The time ticked by and when Mirabel was certain that Antonio was sound asleep, she withdrew her knife, hesitating for only a moment before turning her left hand so that the inside of her wrist was facing upwards.
Pressing the blade of the knife against her skin, she slowly pulled it across, the blood flowing steadily.
"MAMA! TIA JULI!"
Antonio's frantic screams as he burst out of the nursery, slamming the door, made Mirabel look up sharply.
He'd seen her cut her wrist. He was going to try and get help. 'Damnit, Antonio!' she thought as she heard the sounds of people running towards her. 'You're going to ruin everything!'
"Ai, Dios, Mirabel! What have you done?!" Julieta screeched while Pepa grabbed a towel pressing it hard against Mirabel's bleeding wrist. "What did you do?!"
"It's over, Mama..." Mirabel said, starting to feel slightly lightheaded. "It'll be over soon... Just let me go..."
But her mother wasn't about to do that. Sitting on the bed as Dolores burst in with a handful of cinnamon cookies, she broke of a crumb, trying to push it into Mirabel's mouth.
"No," Mirabel muttered through clenched teeth, even as she felt herself getting weaker.
"Mira, you are going to DIE!" Julieta promised, urgently. "Corazon, don't do this to me, please! Eat!" Trying to get some crumbs into Mirabel's mouth, she swore loudly when Mira spit them out.
"Leave me alone..." Mirabel slurred, slumping back against her mother as her energy began fading more. "You don't want me here anyway... The Giftless Mistake..."
"You're NOT a mistake!" Antonio cried out, rushing forward and grabbing Mirabel's right hand as he tried to climb into his prima's bed. "I love you, Mira!"
"Juli, I'm losing her pulse!" Pepa hissed, frantically, applying more pressure to the towel, trying to stop her sobrina's wrist from bleeding.
"Mira, don't do this, please!" Julieta begged, taking advantage of her daughter's weakened state to try and force a semi-chewed morsel of cookie down her throat. "Don't leave us like this!" she wailed.
"Don't go away, Mira!" Antonio sobbed, holding tight to his prima's hand, as though the act could keep her with them. "Mirabel, don't leave me!"
Time seemed to slow as Julieta watched Mirabel faintly squeeze Antonio's hand before her eyes closed and she went limp. Not seeing any sign of breathing, she let out a howl of anguish as she cradled her little girl. "Lo siento... Lo siento, mi vida... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, Mira..."
"Mira?" Antonio whispered, a desperate tone in his voice as he squeezed Mirabel's limp hand. "Wake up! Come on, wake up!"
Setting the towel aside so she could comfort her son, Pepa's eyes widened as she saw that the deep cut in Mirabel's wrist was replaced with a thick scar. Quickly pressing two fingers to the skin just below, she let out an audible sigh of relief as she grabbed her sister's arm. "She's alive," she assured Julieta, hugging her as best she could. "She's back with us."
"Mirabel...?" Julieta murmured, praying that her daughter would wake up. "Mi vida...?"
"Tonito, would you get the spare linens and blanket from the cabinet in my room?" Pepa asked before looking to her daughter. "Dolores, could you help your brother, please?"
"I need to be here when Mira wakes up!" Antonio insisted, afraid that if he left, his prima wouldn't be there when he returned.
"Mama and Tia Julieta are just going to get Mira changed into some clean clothes, okay?" Dolores explained, gently pulling her little brother away.
Present Day...
As Pepa pulled the towel away from Mirabel's wrist, blood continued to pour from the gaping wound.
Julieta gasped as she felt Mirabel grab her arm, her lifeless eyes wide open as she spoke in a wraith-like tone. "You killed me, Mama... Your ignorance killed me..."
"I didn't mean to!" Julieta pleaded, trying to pull her arm free from her dead daughter's grasp. "I didn't know!"
The nursery door burst open, and Bruno and Agustin staggered in, also both dead. Bruno had a noose around his neck and there were abrasions about his throat from the rope. Agustin was swollen from bee sting welts. "You couldn't save me..." Agustin accused. "Your Gift was the only thing keeping me alive!"
"Me, too..." Pepa droned, looking like she'd spent years in a frozen pond.
"I'm sorry!" Julieta cried, as everyone advanced on her. "I'm sorry!"
x
"Sorry... 'm sorry... NO!" Waking up in a cold sweat, Julieta's heart was racing as she buried her face in her hands, trying to banish the horrid nightmare from her mind.
"Juli...?" Agustin murmured, propping himself up on one elbow as he studied his wife with a concerned expression. When Julieta grabbed him, holding on tight as she cried into his shoulder, he slowly sat up more before holding her close. "It's okay... It's okay... It's just a bad dream..."
"I thought I lost her..." Julieta sniffled, pulling away and wiping her eyes. "Mirabel died that night. She died in my arms, Agustin... How did she come back to us? I felt her last breath... I just... I don't know how Mirabel is still alive!"
Agustin shook his head, unsure of how to respond. "I don't know. All I can say is... maybe that night we received a second miracle. We just didn't realize it at the time."
x
The sounds of whimpering brought Isabela out of an uneasy sleep and when she looked over at Mirabel, she saw that her sister was tossing about, clearly in the throes of some sort of nightmare.
In an instant, Isa was by Mira's side and she cautiously touched her shoulder, ready to dart back if Mira decided to strike out at her.
Mirabel bolted upright, breathing heavily as she looked down at both forearms, seemingly confused. "Wha...? Th-The blood... Where...?"
"There's no blood, Mira," Isabela assured her, budging her sister over so she could crawl under the blankets next to her.
"What...? Isa, what are you doing?" Mirabel asked, confused.
"I'm staying put until you go back to sleep," Isa replied, simply, moving so that she was on her side. When Mirabel rolled over so that her back was to Isabela, she craned her neck and frowned slightly as she asked tentatively, "Isa? Could you sing me a song?"
Smiling warmly as she nodded, gently stroking Mirabel's hair, Isa thought for a moment before coming up with a short lullaby.
"Rest now, little rose bud
The night has come around
Sleep tight, little blossom
The sun is going down
Wrap yourself in moonlight
As it pours into your room
When morning comes, the sunlight
Will help you rise and bloom"
Singing quietly until Mirabel had fallen asleep, Isa settled down and put a protective arm about her sister, a satisfied look on her face as she felt Mira lean into her.
As the entire Madrigal family gathered at the Cruz house for a late brunch, Alma looked about the table, raising a concerned eyebrow at how tired the family looked.
"Antonio and Dolores had bad dreams all night," Henrietta explained as she rose to make more coffee. "Pepa, too."
Noticing how everyone kept shooting Mirabel side-looks, as though not wanting to meet her gaze directly, Alma turned to her granddaughter and gently inquired, "Mirabel? What were your nightmares about?"
Mirabel looked down at her plate as she muttered something unintelligible. When Bruno put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, she finally looked at everyone as she repeated, "It... It was the night I... When I died for a moment." Expecting to receive an assortment of awkward looks in return, she was surprised when there was a ripple of something akin to... relief?
"I dreamt that we found you dead by the river," Pepa confessed, absently stroking her braid to soothe her nerves. "Bruno, too. And Camilo disappeared and I couldn't find him and a pack of coatimundis took Antonio away..." Shaking her head, she forced herself to calm down as Felix put an arm around her.
"Mine was watching you cut your wrist open with your nails," Luisa said, nervously. "There was so much blood..."
"My vines had these needle-sharp thorns," Isabela recalled, shuddering at the memory. "They wrapped you up, cutting you to pieces as they pulled you away so I couldn't save you."
Around the table, the Madrigals shared their nightmares and when it was Alma's turn, she looked down at her hands as she began, "I found you by the river, Mirabel. The river was red from all the blood. Your Abuelo was there and he told me it was all my fault. I looked down... and my hands were covered with blood."
"You didn't give everyone bad dreams, Mirabel," Bruno spoke up, seeing the stricken look on his sobrina's face. "Just... Just like my visions didn't make bad things happen, remember?"
"I think your quinceanera brought up some buried fears and bad memories," Felix offered, trying to be helpful. "And sometimes when we dream, our minds have a habit of making things seem worse than they really are."
"Bad dreams can't hurt you in real life," Antonio reminded Mirabel. "That's what Tio Carlos said."
Not wanting to point out the flaws in Antonio's words, Alma nodded, grateful that her grandson was trying to help soothe the family's worries. "Very wise words, Tonito. And since none of us has slept well, I propose we all take the day to relax. Casita Madrigal is nearly completed, and I can help supervise things as the furniture is put into place."
"Abuela...?" Luisa asked, nervously. "Would you mind if I just napped this afternoon?"
"Of course, Luisa," Alma agreed, instantly. "In fact, once we've finished eating, I think all of us should try and take a nap. We'll need our strength for the upcoming festivities."
While Camilo and Antonio joined Henrietta on some secretive task, Julieta went to talk to Roslyn Ruiz, an idea popping into her head for one of Mirabel's belated birthday presents.
Luisa went back to the Suarez home to take a nap and Isabela said something about checking on the new greenhouse behind the Madrigal home.
When Mirabel and Bruno were left, the two decided to hike up to the hills, talking as they went.
"You didn't say what your nightmares were," Mirabel noted, curiously, looking at her tio.
Bruno thought back to his dreams and after a while, he replied, "The house was falling... and you'd climbed up to Mama's window to grab the candle just as casita pushed all of us out. We couldn't get to you, and... and you were buried under the rubble."
As she considered Bruno's dream, Mirabel thought back to her own feelings as Abuela had bared down on her that day. "I would have done it." Bruno stopped, putting a hand on her shoulder, and looked at her in disbelief until she clarified, "I would have tried to save the candle. If I thought saving it would mean saving the miracle..."
"I don't think that the miracle could have been saved," Bruno mused as the two continued on their way. "I think that everything would have happened eventually, one way or another. And I think that the reason you were in my vision was because you helped bring the family's problems to light. I think that, without you, the family would have crumbled to nothing just like the house."
Mirabel stopped as she considered the idea. If the Madrigal Family miracle was the family itself and not the magic... "So, by helping everyone come together again... Tio Bruno... does this mean that I did save the miracle after all?"
Bruno pulling her into a surprisingly strong bear hug was all the answer she needed.
A/N: If Isabela's little lullaby sounds familiar, I admit that I used that from one of my other 'Encanto' stories, 'An Unescapable Fate'.