Ch 11 Lost
I can't believe it's over, I watched the whole thing fall and I never saw the writing that was on the wall- Michael Buble
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Rowen:
The car ride is silent and awkward back to my house. I can't shake the dirty feeling I have about what I did. I knew I wasn't ready to have sex with Chris. "Hey listen, baby I don't think this is going to work out. We should
probably see other people." He says with a smirk on his face. I snap my head in his direction. Is this a joke? Not even after an hour later since having sex he's dumping me. The fact that I don't love him and this is an
empty relationship is irrelevant right now. I can't believe this! He knew he was going to do this. He knew it back when I thought I really did love him. What a dick! "Wh-what? We just, and I, what?" I say in shock as he
pulls into my driveway. "I just wanted to get you into bed, I don't want to deal with a relationship, but I knew you wouldn't have sex with me unless I could get you to fall for me." He spits as I hear the power lock doors
unclick. "So you just used me all this time." I say emotionlessly staring into his cold brown eyes. "Basically. Now you heard what I said get the fuck out of my car bitch." I step out into the pouring rain still not quite
believing what just happened. To make matters worse as Chris burns out of the driveway he splatters mud all over me with his tires. I stand in the empty driveway drenched, muddy, and cold long after he left. I finally pull
myself together and trudge up the steps to the porch fumbling with my house key. I finally get the lock undone despite my shaking hands and quietly make my way towards my room careful not to wake up my parents.
I strip off my muddy soaked clothes and get in the shower hoping to wash away the disgust I felt for myself. It's all starting to seep in as I step out of the shower. Chris used me for sex. He guilted me into sleeping with
him, tricked me into loving him, or at least got me to think that I did. He threw me every line in the book and I ate it up. I ignored everyone when they said he was no good. I made excuses for him about his jerky
behavior. I'm so stupid! I can't believe I fell for it. I feel so cheap. I knew I should have waited. I wanted so badly to be loved. I was jealous of the imprints. I wanted to feel even a quarter of what they felt, but there's no
hope for that. I'm not special enough to be imprinted on. I always put on an indifferent attitude about not being imprinted on, acted independent and everything, but the truth is it kills me I will never have a love like that.
Once you see imprinted love, you know nothing will ever compete. I change and decide to do the only thing I can think of to take away the pain.
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"I can't believe it's over, I watched the whole thing fall and I never saw the writing that was on the wall." The lyrics of Lost by Michael Buble pour out of the iPod's speakers and the dam of tears I had been holding
back breaks. I sob my heart out as I allow the music to take over my body. "Cause when you feel like you're done and the darkness has won, babe you're not lost" I watch as the living room spins around me
mirroring my life. I launch into a set of pirouettes while more tears stream down my cheeks. Suddenly the music gets cut off jerking me out of my thoughts and spins. "Rowen Call! It's like 3 in the…. hey, hey baby girl
what's wrong?" Daddy says from the base of the stairs noticing how upset I am. "C-C-Chris broke up with me." I sob as he rushes over to me enveloping me in a hug. He leads me over to the stairs to sit so he can
attempt to calm me down. "Oh baby girl it'll be ok. Daddy's here. Tell me what happened." He says as I cry harder into his chest. I feel my mother walk down the steps and sit behind us as she begins to smooth the hair
that has fallen out of my bun. I'm crying so hard all I can manage to get out are the words used, love, bitch, and mud. "Baby you gotta calm down enough to tell us what happened." My mother says continuing to rub my
hair. Just then the front door slams open and Ryker and Regan walk in laughing loudly about something, but I'm un-phased. "Shit. What the hell happened Row?" Ryker says leaning against the wall by the stairs, Regan
following behind him. "He-he said if I loved him I would let him and I- I thought I did love h-him, so I said yes." I sobbed feeling daddy tense up and a low rumble of a growl in his chest. "And and then he said we were
over and he only wanted to- to get me into b-bed and that I was a bitch and then he splattered m-mud on me." I continue to sob as my heart breaks all over again by retelling the story. Daddy abruptly stands up putting
his fist through the wall, I can hear my mother crying along with me and my brothers are grumbling and yelling things that I can't make out. "I'm I'm so sorry daddy." I cry knowing he must be disappointed in me. He picks
me up and holds me in his arms like he used to when I was little. "It's ok baby girl. Everything's gunna be alright. We love you so much. You have nothing to be sorry for. But that boy, he's gunna be sorry once I get a hold
of him." He grumbles. "Ya us too!" The twins shout in unison and I notice them looking back and forth at each other having some sort of silent conversation. Daddy stands up and carries me into my room laying me on the
bed and kissing me on the forehead before promptly returning downstairs yelling for my brothers to call Sam. My mom lies with me, unties my pointe shoes, and just rubs my hair as I listen to the muffled yells and growls
from the men downstairs. I hear the door open and more angry voices join in the yelling. I can't help but wonder if Diego was here, if he would be as outraged as the men downstairs are. Would I have even done that if
he was here I think as I cry myself to sleep.
A/N Special shout out to DubsDoll! Thanks for the reviews on both stories! It's nice to know people are reading! You're awesome! :)