Ch 15 Young Thugs
Every time I look into the mirror get to thinkin I'm wrong cuz I thug, I thug. All I see looking back a thug and I know I did wrong. Young thug young thug. – Bone Thugs n Harmony
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Diego:
I keep the faucet running until the water goes from red to clear. Esteban has been sending me on more and more jobs. Jobs I don't want to be a part of. I never thought back when I joined I would ever be forced into
this. I knew it was a possibility. I mean joining a gang isn't going to be sunshine and candy canes, but I figured I'd just run the chop shop like my uncle did, probably have a life going in and out of jail for minor felonies. I
never thought I would be this guy. Back when I joined this side of the business never bothered me. Back when I was the young kid looking at it from under a car I never really cared. I knew my place was at the bottom. I
knew I was playing a minor role, but doing enough to make money and get protection for my family. I knew to keep my head down, work hard, and stay out of the higher ups. Now I don't know anything. I don't know
when I'm going to get my next job, I don't know if I'll come back alive, and worst of all I don't know who I am anymore
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As soon as I came back from La Push I was placed as a debt collector. You'd be surprised how many people try to steal or borrow money from the leader of a gang. I had to get the money no matter what. Coming back
without it was not an option. On my first job Esteban said that if the guy was being difficult and refusing to pay up to always remember that dead men can't run and don't put up fights. He said that I was no different
than the people that owed him money because I owed him my time. As a member of DM I was, in his eyes working, off all the years they protected me and my family. Spending five years in the shop and being sent to
juvie apparently didn't matter to him. He always said he'd drive up to La Push and show me how to handle a situation if I couldn't get a job done. I was so scared he'd go up there kill Ray, Linah, and Rowen that if the
guys I was sent to find to collect from didn't give me the money I'd kill them for it. Esteban was right dead men don't put up fights. Then after a while of doing that I got promoted again. I was the guy Esteban turned to if
he needed someone taken care of. I was the hit man. It makes me sick. I can still see the people's faces. I wash my hands all the time but I still see the blood. I have nightmares, like I'm watching a movie and I can see
myself stabbing and shooting the people. I'm so angry all the time. I just want to fight everybody. I used to think I was the good guy, protecting my family the only way I knew how. Now, now I'm just as bad as the
people I thought I was protecting them from
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I look into the mirror and cringe. I don't like the man staring back at me. My face is hollow, with a long line of stitches running along my cheek bone. They are unneeded since the wounds heal about as fast as it takes to
stitch them up, but it would look suspicious thought if I came in with huge gashes and five minutes they're gone. I have all kinds of stitches and scars, battle wounds Esteban calls them. To me they all just show how
much of a monster I am. I used to think I was a monster because I turned into a Chupacabra, but that's not true. I'm a monster because of the things I've done as a human. People shouldn't be afraid of the Chupacabra
they should be afraid of me. I'm in way too deep, trying to keep from drowning in it all. All I see in the glass in front of me is a worthless thug. It isn't me, or not the me I used to be. I punch the glass in anger and it
shatters onto the floor. I push the door open roughly and bump into something on my way out. "Did you break the mirror in the bathroom?" A voice asks and I realize the something I ran into was most likely this guy. I
quickly turn around to see a young kid no older than thirteen, around the age I was when I just started. "Ya I fucking broke it. Is there a problem?" I say quickly whipping out my blade. All the color drains out of his face
and he walks away. I sigh trying to calm down. I'm the one everyone is scared of now, the one everyone steers clear of. I'm a ticking time bomb, everyone's just waiting for me to explode. My old friends don't even talk to
me. All the guys I came up through the ranks with don't even look me in the eye out of fear. Ignacio one of the guys me n Chuey came up with was the only one that treated me normal, but went missing a few weeks
ago. I hate to say it but he's probably dead somewhere
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Ever since I left I've been so angry. The smallest thing will set me off. I phase all the time unable to control my wolf, or Chupacabra or whatever it is. All my days run together. I'm miserable. I can't sleep, I don't eat, all I
can think about is my family, surviving, and Rowen Call. That's a mystery in and of itself. I've never even talked to her. She thinks I'm scum, and before I didn't believe her. I thought she was just judgmental, but she
knew all along I'm nothing but a thug. In the morning, during the day, before I go to bed I think about her. When I'm doing a job I can't help but think that she would be disgusted with what I'm doing. When I'm hooking
up with other girls it feels wrong, like I'm cheating on her or something. We're not even together! I worry if she's all right. Does she need anything? Is she upset, was she happy today? I swear there have been times
when I've felt her hurting. It's crazy but I know it's her. I'm going insane. Ever since I looked at her the night she became the main focus of my attention. I know I'm no good for her though. She deserves someone better
than me. She can't get mixed up with me and all this shit. I don't even wanna be in it, so there's no way I'd drag her into it
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"Diego, I need to talk to you." Esteban says calling me over. I silently groan. He's just going to give me another job I don't really want to do. "I got an interesting call today from an old friend calling in a favor. It seems
you have connections throughout our system. Your family has sacrificed a great deal for Diablos throughout the generations. Manuelo saved my life the night I got assigned my first outside job. He called asking for your
release. Because I have much respect for this man, and you have served us honorably you are now free of your duties from Diablos Morosos." He says diplomatically. "You mean I can leave? You're not going to come
after me and my family? No more regulating jobs? No more anything?" I ask in shock. Can I really go home? Am I free? "Si. Usted no se llamará de Nuevo. (You will not be called on again)" He says standing up and
shaking my hand. "Gracias" I say and walk out the door to my car. I don't know who Manuelo is but I'm not going to question it. I can go back to my sisters. Whoever he is I owe him my life and the life of my sisters. Is tio
going to let me back in his house? After all this shit, I wouldn't blame him if he didn't. I do wanna change though. It'll be hard to change, but I'm willing to try. I wanna go back to school and graduate. Now that I'm not
bound to the DM I don't have to live that life anymore. I don't know what will happen when I get to La Push, but whatever happens it has to be better than my life now. I start the car's engine and head north, hoping
everyone will forgive me for everything I've done even if I can't.
AN: So sorry for the long wait with finals and everything. Hope you still love me! :) Let me know what ya think