Hopeful
Wish everybody would just stop and freeze,
And ask way are we fulfilling these downfalls and these prophecies- Twista
Diego:
I decided to go for a drive around town to blow off steam. I just need to get out of my own head for a little while between thinking about mama and then the
Rowen issue. I'm backing out of Tio's driveway when the Call family pulls up. I can see Rowen look at me from the back seat, a glint of hope dances in her eyes. I
feel the pull to stay and talk to her. I know I need to talk to her, but right now it's all too much. I put my head down so I don't see the look of disappointment on
her face as I continue to pull out of the drive. I need to deal with my own issues before I bring her into my life. She could be my chance at something real. My
chance to start fresh, like I promised Ray when we first came up to Washington.
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I've been driving on back roads for half an hour. The green lush forrest makes me feel out of place. East LA looks nothing like this. The breeze flowing
through my open window is crisp and fresh. Ocean water mixed with dirt and nature is a smell that is foreign to me. I'm used to city air, the smell of car exhaust
and smog. It's nothing like this that's for sure. My phone buzzes and I groan thinking it's probably Ray nagging me to get home because she's not done yelling at
me yet. I sigh and pick up my phone only to see the call ID says Martin. This can't be good. I take a deep breath and hit accept. "Bad news man. We found
Nacho's wallet and shit down in that empty lot across from the bodega. No body, but too much blood on the ground for him to have made it." Martin sighs into
the phone. "Shit" Is all I can say in response. "I know man. You guys were real tight man I'm sorry. His mom was real torn up about it. She said to break it to
Ray. I guess they were good friends?" He says with sadness in his voice. "Ya they were in the same classes and stuff I think." I say still in shock. I watched out
for him in DM. We all came up together, but he was always the youngest. I saved his life once. Ever since I always viewed him like a little brother. I thank Martin
for the info and turn the car around. I wish all this killing would stop. I'm ashamed that I was a part of it.
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I pull into the gravel driveway trying to think of the best way to break the news to Ray. The Calls's car is still here. This is all too much to deal with but Ray
needs to know. I open the front door and see Ray smiling and laughing with Rowen standing in the living room. It breaks my heart that she's so happy but in 5
minutes she's going to be crushed. Everyone turns their attention to me and Ray's face drops. It's almost like she can tell something's up. "Hola. Ray, necesito
hablar contigo hermana." (I need to talk to you sister). I say wincing. "What happened? It's something bad isn't it?" She says timidly. "Why don't we go
outside or into the kitchen eh? So you can sit down." I say pleading with her. "I swear to God if you're telling me you're leaving again I'll kill you. Are you leaving
us?" She seethes and I notice Rowen stiffen. "No I'm not going anywhere. I'm not gunna leave either of you again." I say to Rowen and Ray. "Then what?
What's so bad? Oh my God, I know that face. Thats the look you had when Mama died and the same with Chuey. Tell me it's not him. Anybody but Ignacio." She
pleads starting to cry. I know she's figured it out and I hate to actually have to tell her that one of her best friends has died. I've been there, not too long ago and
it hurts.
Nobody else in the room really knows what to say or where to look. You could hear a pin drop on the floor of a padded room in here. Tia and Tio are having
some sort of silent conversation while Mrs. Call looks teary eyed. Mr. Calls looks at me like he wants to kill me and after the episode from earlier I don't blame
him. The twins are just staring at me blankly and Ash looks wearily at Rowen. Rowen holds onto my sister's hand and gives it a squeeze trying to calm her. "Ray
please let's just, ugh. Can we not do this here?" I plead knowing she won't want an audience for her inevitable breakdown. "No you tell me right now Diego!"
She pleads wildly. I hang my head shaking it slightly. "I'm sorry hermana. They found Ignacio's wallet in the empty lot by the bodega." I say quietly. "But he
could just be out. He could have just dropped his wallet." She cries grasping at any possibility that he's not dead. "No nina. He's gone. There was too much blood
in the lot for him to have walked away from this. I'm so sorry. I know you were good friends." I sigh. I don't want her to have to go through this. I wish I could
take it away. I glance at Rowen and find her starting to cry. "I wasn't just his friend. I loved him Diggy. He was my everything. We were supposed to be together
forever." She starts to sob. Rowen pulls her into a hug and lets her cry. My heart clenches to see her like this. She hasn't been this shaken up since mama died.
"Why do I keep losing everyone? Everyone I love is dying. Mama, Chuey, Nacho, and you'll be next if you don't change. So many times I thought it would
be you in the empty lot. Please say that you're done with everything. I can't lose you too. Get yourself straight. We need to stop the violence. It only tears our
people apart. Throw it all away, your gun and your hate hermano. Please." She cries running into my arms. "Lo siento nina. Lo siento. No sé
a hermana."(I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't know sister.) I say holding her trembling frame close. "I wish Nacho would have stayed at the shop and layed low. I
wish on the day that Chuey died we would have never took that ride. I wish you wouldn't have to suffer every time the street got the upper hand. I wish mama
would have never gotten sick. I wish the way I was living could stop. I wish you had a non fucked up male role model in your life instead of a deadbeat dad, a Tio
on a life sentence, and a brother who's following in both their footsteps. I wish I would have never gotten mixed up in this. I've just been trying to live my life
the best way I can live it, but I know how much that has cost us and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I dragged you down because of my choices. Es mi culpa que trajo el
diablo en nuestras vidas. Es mi castigo. Estoy hecho para siempre. Voy a ser una mejor persona para mi familia. Voy a ser un mejor hombre
para ti." (It's my fault I brought the devil into our lives. It's my punishment. I'm done forever. I'm going to be a better person for my family. I'm going to be a
better man for you). I say into her hair. I look up to Rowen who's crying from my sister's heartbreak. "For both of you" I say locking eyes with her. Reina looks
into my eyes with mascara running down her face. "Do you promise Diggy? Decir que prometes." (Say that you promise) She says continuing to bawl. "I
promise. Nunca mas." (Never again) I say reaching into the waistband of my jeans to pull out my gun. I take the still sobbing Reina by the hand and lead her to
the back door across the yard and down towards the ocean. "Im sorry Ray. I'm so sorry. I'm not gunna be the cause of anymore heartbreak. Not of our own or
those from the families I've hurt." I say looking her in the eye turning my gun over in my hands. I notice a crowd has formed around the back door of Tio's
house. "Are you ready?" I ask looking at the broken girl. She shakes her head yes. I cock my arm back and throw the weapon far off into the ocean. Ray buries
her face into my chest and cries. "Thank you Diggy." She sobs and I scoop her up walking past all the spectators towards her room. Tia follows closely behind
me ready to comfort the crying girl . I'm ready for the tragedy in the Alvarez family to cease. Everything I've done is in the past. I can't change it now. I can only
look forward and be a better man from here on out.
Meanwhile in a run down warehouse in East LA
"Attention everyone! We have finally built up enough numbers to attack. The past year and a half I have steadily built up our coven. This last addition has
allowed us to achieve the opportune advantage in size. Our enemy has become an increasing threat to our lifestyle and I will not just stand by and watch while
my friends and family are being destroyed. It makes me sick to think that my former comrade is a part of their crusade. Keep that in mind friends, you cannot
trust anyone but your family. You cannot trust anyone apart from the others in this room. The day of Jasper Whitlock's reckoning is soon upon. I will not rest
until the entire Cullen clan has been accounted for their transgressions. Feed well for we depart in two weeks time." A mysterious dark haired woman closes her
speech looking down at the large crowd below her. She turns to the man standing to the side of the overlook and tilts her head, indicating that he should walk
towards with her. "Your transformation progressed rapidly. I'm very pleased. Marcelo informed me that you have no recollection of your former life. You do not
even remember your name. Is this correct?" The woman asks. The man turns his deep red eyes forward staring into her equally dark orbs. "I remember
nothing." He replies shifting his focus to the dried up bloodstained clothes he is wearing. "Very well, it's better this way. Less of a distraction for the fight. I'll
need you the most, with your gift. I will need your loyalty." The women says nodding her head curtly. She proceeds to walk into a back room leaving the dark
haired man alone on the over look.
The man leans against the railing looking over the many red eyed people swarming below. He has no idea who he is, where he is, or even what he is. He
was not completely truthful to the dark haired women moments ago. While it is true he does not remember any details of his former life, he has gotten flashes of
memory since he woke up after the change. The same memory plays over and over again. The tiny reel of video of what he knows must be himself in his former
life and a beautiful young women is all he has. They are laughing as he spins her around in the middle of a car lined street in a rundown neighborhood. He stops
spinning her and she places a sweet lingering kiss on his lips. At that point the memory ends. He has made the decision to find this girl. She holds the key to
who he really is.