Hey guys!
So I think the last chapter was one of my better ones, and hopefully this one can carry on from that! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and I'm not going to keep you too long, I promise.
This story is now only 5 reviews away from 100! If it does make it to 100, I'll . . . well, I don't know what I'll do, but I'll think of something!
Enjoy!
Megz
oxox
~ Wednesday, 17:00 ~
You there? - A
Yeah, I'm here. I'm so sorry, the past few days have been kind of . . . hectic. I hope you didn't think I was ignoring you? - Merlin
Not at all, I completely understand. - A
Thanks. - Merlin
Nothing to thank me for. How are you, anyway? - A
I'm fine now, thanks. And you? - Merlin
Great, thank you. - A
How's . . . everything coming along? Have you figured things out yet? About . . . - Merlin
About whether I'm gay or not? - A
Yeah. - Merlin
You don't need to skirt around the subject, Merlin. You're the only person I actually feel comfortable talking about this with. - A
Okay. But have you? - Merlin
I . . . yes. I'm gay, or at least bisexual. - A
I'm proud of you, you know. I know that sounds really weird and everything, but I am. - Merlin
Why? - A
Because it takes a lot of courage, to admit that to someone, and even more courage to admit it to yourself. When I first realized I was gay, I tried to deny it for so long, tried to fight it, to try and find some way to make myself interested in girls, but in the end, I just had to admit it. - Merlin
How did you . . . tell people, though? - A
I just . . . I remember, I sat them down, in a private space, just the two of us, and . . . I just told them. I just said it, "I'm gay," and that was it. There really isn't anything else you need to say, after that, they either accept it, or they don't, but in the end, you just have to say two little words, and that's it. - Merlin
And what do you do if they don't accept it? - A
Then you move on. Because that means they're not accepting you for who you are, and you can't have those kinds of people in your life. It's not good for you. - Merlin
Thanks, Merlin. - A
You're more than welcome. And honestly, if there's ever anything else you want to talk about, I'm always here, okay? - Merlin
Okay. - A :)
:) - Merlin
So what happened anyway? In your "hectic" few days? - A
I don't really want to talk about it. - Merlin
Arthur's hands paused, held over the keyboard in shock. Why would Merlin not want to talk about it? Merlin had talked about Arthur plenty of times before to 'A', and been happy to, it seemed, so why wouldn't he talk about what happened between them? Arthur had shared so much with Merlin as 'A', things that he never would have told anybody else, and yet, Merlin wasn't willing to share what had happened between them? In a way though, Arthur was happy, because it meant that Merlin wouldn't go telling anybody that asked what'd happened, because he definitely didn't want that. But at the same time, he was insulted that Merlin wouldn't share it with him.
He knew it was stupid, because he already knew, of course, but all the same . . . He shook his head, and placed his hands back on the keyboard. It wasn't really that important, but Arthur had thought they'd actually had a moment or that there had, even if only for a second, been something between them. That moment had been something Arthur had dreamed of for so long, and he just wanted to know that it had meant as much to Merlin as it had to him.
~ Wednesday, 19:00 ~
Who was the first person you told, when you came out? - A
I . . . I think it was Gaius, my uncle. I didn't actually realize I was gay until I came here. I used to live in Ealdor with my mother, but she didn't have enough money to support the both of us, so I came here. - Merlin
What was it though, that made you realize you were gay? - A
It was my friend, well, my best friend, Will. Back in Ealdor, we'd always been really close, except for the last few weeks. Because I'd started to think I had feelings for him. I was confused, and angry, but I took it all out on Will. We got into a lot of fights, but I never told him what had made me so angry. I didn't even get to say goodbye to him . . . A few weeks into coming here, I got a call from my mother, telling me that Will had been hit by a car, and he hadn't made it. I cried until my voice was hoarse. And that was when I knew. - Merlin
I'm sorry, about what happened to Will. - A
It's not your fault. It took me a while to get over, and a while to realize that it wasn't anybody's fault. I blamed myself for quite a while, thinking if I'd just stayed a little longer, that I could have . . . But I know now that I couldn't. What happened to Will was a tragic accident, but an accident nonetheless. - Merlin
I often wish I was more like you, you know. - A
What do you mean? - Merlin
You're just . . . you're always so sure about things, so composed, so level-headed. I just wish I was more like that. You really think things through, and don't let them affect you. - A
I wasn't always like this though. - Merlin
Neither was I. - A
~ Wednesday, 20:00 ~
Are you ever going to tell me who you are? - Merlin
I . . . I think so, yes. - A
Just not right now? - Merlin
No, not right now. Do you think you can handle that? - A
I think so, yes. - Merlin
Oh thank God, because I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you to talk to at the moment. - A
Why, what's wrong? - Merlin
I . . . I stood up to my father. - A
Oh my God. What did he say? - Merlin
Not much really . . . . .
"I'm only doing what's best for you!" Uther yelled, as he watched Arthur pace back and forth in front of him. But while his son was obviously getting more and more agitated, he continued to sit, legs crossed, in his favourite armchair. But while his body language said 'relaxed', his tone of voice was entirely different.
"You mean what you think is best for me." Arthur muttered, running a shaking had through his hair.
"Look, if I left these things to you, you'd only end up regretting it later in life." Uther replied, lower his voice.
"And so what if I did?" Arthur asked, stopping his pacing to look his father in the eye. "At least then I'd know that it was my decision!"
"I just want you to be the kind of man I know you have the potential to be?"
"And what kind of man is that? One who only does what his father tells him to? Who only acts when his father gives the word? Or do you want me to be like you? Cynical, cold, and set in your ways. You can never accept anything new, you're too closed minded for that. In your mind, there are only two sides; your side, and the wrong one. The last thing I want to become is the kind of man that you are."
"Arthur -" his father began, but he was interrupted.
"Wait, no. You're not a man." Arthur snapped. "You're not even worthy of the title. You're just a -"
"Arthur!" he yelled, interrupted his son, and the blonde's eyes shot to the floor. He jumped up from his chair, and stood in front of Arthur, his breathing becoming uneven with anger. And Arthur suddenly felt like a little boy who'd just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "How dare you speak to me that way? What has gotten into you? You never come downstairs any more, never speak to me. The only person you allow in your room is Morgana and that stupid idiot of a boy that came here last night -"
"Don't you dare speak about him like that!" Arthur yelled, meeting his father's eyes once more. Unbeknownst to him, Morgana was leaning against the door frame just outside, listening to every word they said, and grinning. She knew Arthur cared.
"I will speak about him however I see fit," Uther said through gritted teeth. "He's nothing more than a poor, scrawny village boy. He's nothing, Arthur. Not to us. He's beneath us, don't you see?"
"How can you even say that?" Arthur shouted back, suddenly becoming angrier than he had ever felt. His hands were now shaking with anger, and not fear, as he balled them into fists. "You don't even know him! You really shouldn't base your opinion of people on how much money they have, or where they come from. Merlin is a far better person, and more of a man than you'll ever be!"
"I doubt it." Uther scoffed, and Arthur was really fighting the urge to hit him.
"One more word about Merlin, and I swear to God, I'll -"
"You'll what, leave? Go ahead! At least then I won't have to feel so ashamed anymore. Because that's all you've brought me, shame. Ever since the day you were born!" Uther yelled.
The two men stood there in shock, neither believing what had just been said. As soon as Uther had said it, he knew he'd gone too fair. Ygraine had always said he let his temper get the better of him. But even she wouldn't have been able to forgive him this time.
"Well I'm sorry to be such a disappointment," Arthur said in a small voice, and stormed out of the room, passing a tearful Morgana as he did so.
As Arthur sat in his room, eagerly typing to Merlin, Morgana and Gwen sat, just down the hall, discussing aforementioned boys. Morgana had since told Gwen what was going on with Arthur. She'd told her on the night she'd shown up at Gwen's house, when Merlin had gone to the bathroom. Gwen had been quite shocked, but afterwards had admitted that she thought it was quite cute. Though she still didn't approve of the way Arthur treated Merlin at school.
"Do you think he has any idea?" Gwen whispered, and Morgana looked at her, confused. "Merlin! Do you think he has any suspicions about who 'A' is?"
"Of course he'll have ideas," Morgana replied, crossing her legs, and leaning closer, to be sure they weren't heard. "But I don't think he's even taken Arthur into consideration. In his mind, when it comes to 'A', Arthur probably doesn't even come into the equation."
Gwen nodded, and then leaned forward again. "When do you think Arthur will tell him?"
"When he's ready." Morgana replied shortly, and Gwen nodded again, before asking another question. Morgana was happy to talk about it with Gwen, as she'd kept it to herself for so long. Arthur wouldn't talk about it, and she wasn't sure she'd be able to ask Merlin about it without smirking.
"Do you think Arthur . . . loves him?"
Morgana paused for a moment. She'd never really talked to Arthur about his feelings for Merlin. Every time she tried to bring it up, he just got all awkward and mumbly, and it was hard to get anything out of him. She knew he liked him, that much was obvious, but as for loving him? She had no idea. But then . . . there was the fight with Uther. It had wound Arthur up pretty badly when he'd insulted Merlin. Was it possible that the infamous, cold hearted Arthur Pendragon could be falling in love with Merlin, the small, sarcastic village boy that he'd picked on for so many years?
"You know what? I think he might."
Well? I know it was short, but I had a few different things to get in there. Let me know what you thought, REVIEW!