IMPORTANT - PLEASE READ!

Hey guys!

So some of you may know this already, but I'm just going to tell you anyway, just in case. Something went wrong with the last chapter, and the beginning of it was cut off. Where it began from, didn't make any sense. Luckily, a few people pointed it out to me, and I managed to fix it. I couldn't find the original part, but I think I got it pretty close. Anyway, if any of you read it before I fixed the problem, then maybe you just want to go back and re-read it? Only quickly, it was just missing a few paragraphs.

Some of you were asking if Merlin's ever going to find out who 'A' is, and don't worry, he will, I promise. I'm sorry it's dragging out for so long, but it's the way I've planned the story. I just have one question, because I'm still not sure about the ending. Well, two questions actually.

Would you rather Merlin found out in the last chapters, or have a few chapters still going, after he finds out?

And, do you think he should find out, be told by Arthur, be told by someone else, or figure it out himself?

Please, let me know which one you'd prefer, because I'm really still not sure of which direction to go with the ending. Everything up to that point though, is completely planned.

Anyway, I won't keep you any longer, enjoy!

Megz

oxox

The next day, Merlin was sat, watching TV with Gaius. It was a Saturday afternoon, and he'd just gotten back from helping his uncle with the shopping, and they were sitting down to watch their favourite show, Doctor Who. Merlin had been surprised at first, that Gaius even had a TV, for one thing. Merlin loved his uncle, but sometimes, he could be incredibly old-fashioned. The fact that he had a TV was nothing short of a miracle. And the fact that Gaius watched Doctor Who, as well. Merlin had watched it every Saturday, back in Ealdor. And every time it came on, Will would come over to his house, so they could watch it together.

Merlin would be lying if he said he didn't miss Will. He missed him more than anything in the whole world, and watching their favourite show always reminded him of what his life now was missing. Most of the memories he had of his best friend, were built around that show. The first time Will had put his arm around him, had been watching that show. And the first time they'd kissed, had not been long after. Every strand of their relationship/friendship, whatever it had been, was connected to a stupid TV show, and it made Merlin so angry to watch it sometimes. But then others, he was glad, that he still had this small part of Will to hold on to. It made him feel like he was still a part of his life, even if he wasn't around anymore.

Gaius carefully put his glasses on, and Merlin settled into his chair. And surprisingly, for once, Merlin wasn't thinking about Will anymore. As the title sequence played, and he watched the Doctor energetically running round the Tardis, all he could think about, was Arthur. And Merlin felt like slapping himself. It was like he was living his life in a daze, an Arthur-filled daze. That arrogant, stupid, lovable prat, was all he could think about, all the time. Even now, when he was watching their show, he was thinking about Arthur.

His mind was just filled with memories of his scent, the sound of his voice, the way his eyes lit up when he smiled . . . And even when he tried to think about Will, he morphed back into the sarcastic, blonde pretty boy. It wasn't Will watching TV with him, or running to school because they were late. It wasn't Will sharing a bed with him that night when he was scared, it wasn't Will with his arms around him. And it wasn't Will kissing him. Merlin shook himself.

He didn't want Arthur to kiss him . . . did he? No, of course not! Merlin thought, trying to focus on the show, sinking lower into his seat. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get the image of Arthur kissing him out of his mind. And he couldn't help but wonder . . . what would it be like to kiss Arthur? No! Merlin's brain snapped at him, and he squirmed in his seat, suddenly uncomfortable again. Thinking of Arthur's lips on his, of his hands in Arthur's hair . . . Stop it! No matter how hard he tried though, the image would just not go away. Like it was branded behind his eyes.

Just as he was about to give up, and let his mind run free, the phone rang. Gaius was about to get up, sighing as he did so, but Merlin pushed him back down gently. It would do him some good to answer the phone, it might distract him from the extremely inappropriate thoughts he was having about Arthur. Gaius smiled, and sat back down, as Merlin ran to the phone in the kitchen.

"Hello?" he said, pushing himself up onto the kitchen counter, the phone held expertly between his head and shoulder.

"Merlin?" the person on the other side of the phone asked, and Merlin knew he recognized that voice instantly. He'd like to have said he was annoyed, but secretly, he was thrilled. More than he could explain. "I was wondering if you wanted to come over to my house?"

"You do realize that Doctor Who's on, right? Do you have any idea what I'd be sacrificing for this?" Merlin replied teasingly, and he could practically hear Arthur rolling his eyes. "You'll have to be a lot more convincing than that if you want me to -"

"Merlin Emyrs, get your lazy arse over here!" Arthur snapped, but Merlin could hear the amusement in his voice.

"I'll be over in half an hour, is that good enough for his Royal Highness?"

"Shut up,"

"You know that's no way to treat someone when you're trying to get them to come over to -"

"Shut up,"

"I'm just saying, you could be a little friendlier with your approach, you know -"

"Shut up, Merlin!"

Less than an hour later, Merlin was up in Arthur's room, for the second time in a month. And it was now occurring to him that agreeing to come over to Arthur's house, after the thoughts he'd been having about him, probably hadn't been the best idea. Still, all of his common sense had clearly flown out the window the moment he'd picked up the phone. There was something about Arthur that he just couldn't say no to. He refused to put it down to attraction, though. It was just hormones, that's all it was. There was no way he was attracted to Arthur. No, he couldn't be. He hadn't felt like that since Will.

Arthur had said that Morgana and Gwen would be back soon. He'd said that they could all hang out together, which made Merlin slightly calmer. He hoped that maybe he'd be able to stop thinking about Arthur in . . . that way, if Morgana and Gwen were there too. But while Merlin had thought at first that being alone with Arthur would've been awkward, he couldn't have been more wrong. In fact, it just felt . . . natural. And while Merlin had thought there would be nothing for them to talk about, the two of them had hardly paused for breath.

"I don't know why we never did this before," Arthur said suddenly, cocking his head to the side in thought. Merlin looked at him questioningly from across the room, enjoying the comfort of Arthur's sofa. He was currently lay across it on his stomach, watching Arthur with curious eyes. "You know . . . this. Talked, properly."

"Because you were a stupid prat who couldn't see past his own prejudices?" Merlin asked sarcastically, and expertly dodged the pillow that came flying his way. Although, he did end up almost falling off of the sofa instead. Still, he caught himself, grabbing the back of the sofa, and pulling himself back. He wasn't going to give Arthur the satisfaction. And so, he reached behind him, and threw the pillow right back. Arthur was entirely unsuspecting, doubled over with laughter, and Merlin's throw was perfectly aimed. The pillow hit Arthur square on the head, and Merlin couldn't help but join in with his laughter.

"Or maybe it's because somebody could never simply just mind his own business?" Arthur replied, throwing the pillow back onto the bed, and following it shortly after. He lay on his back, looking straight up at the ceiling, and Merlin had a strange urge to join him. He didn't. "So you and Gwen . . ."

"Oh here we go," Merlin said, with a roll of his eyes. He pushed himself up on the sofa, and sat back, staring up at the ceiling as Arthur was.

Everyone always assumed that something was going on between him and Gwen. Most people though, by now, knew that Merlin was gay. The only person whoever even entertained the idea of him and Gwen being . . . an item, was Mr Sutton, the Drama teacher. He was quite old, and very stubborn. He was very sweet and everything, it's just that when Mr Sutton got an idea . . . he stuck with it. And he'd been convinced that something was going on between him and "Lady Guinevere" ever since Merlin had first arrived.

"I'm just asking," Arthur replied, but his voice still held the same, teasing tone. To be honest, he wasn't really sure why he was asking. He knew Merlin was gay, but perhaps he just liked the idea of pushing the other boy's buttons? Still, Arthur knew there was some small part of him, that still wasn't sure. Ever since a few weeks ago, there had always been this nagging, little doubt that the Merlin he was talking to online, was not the Merlin sat beside him. "Not even once, though?"

"Not even once," Merlin replied sharply, sounding a little bored by the subject. Though he just continued to glare at the ceiling, wondering when Gwen and Morgana would get there. Secretly though, he didn't want them to turn up, and ruin his time with Arthur. Even if they were his best friends.

"Why not?" Arthur continued. He was rather beginning to enjoy this, as he heard Merlin's exasperated sigh from across the room. "She's a sweet girl after all, very kind, smart, loyal. She's very pretty too -"

"And not my type,"

"Which would be?" Arthur asked, the teasing from his voice vanishing in an instant. He turned on to his side, and stared right at Merlin, resting his head on his hand. Merlin immediately felt Arthur's eyes on him, and his head snapped from the ceiling, to where Arthur lay on the bed. But the sincerity in his eyes forced the Emyrs boy to look away. He couldn't believe he was being made to discuss this, with Arthur, of all people.

"Well she's not . . ." he began, but he wasn't really sure what to say. He wasn't exactly going to come out to the most popular boy in school, was he? But then again, Arthur had already shown that he really did care about Merlin. So much so, that he was no longer hanging out with his friends, because of him. And Merlin could no longer judge him by the same standards that he had before. He'd changed. Still, that didn't make it any easier. "It's not that she's not attractive, and she is, and smart, it's just . . . she . . . I don't . . . she's not . . ."

"A guy?" Arthur asked, so bluntly that Merlin almost fell off of his seat again. But while Merlin blushed, and tried to look away, Arthur looked confident, and completely composed. Merlin wondered how he could be so calm about it. But the calm exterior that Arthur was showing, was completely the opposite of how he felt inside. Him and Merlin had never really talked about . . . feelings before, at least, not in the way they were now. Not face-to-face.

"W-w-what?"

"It's alright Merlin, you can tell me." he continued, and again, Merlin didn't see how he could be so calm. This was Merlin's personal life that they were talking about, not some trivial, little chatter. Still, the way that Arthur was handling it, gave him some hope. If he was talking about it so calmly, then he might be okay with it . . .

"It . . . it doesn't bother you?" Merlin asked, and Arthur shook his head in reply. And Merlin could tell he meant it. He wasn't just playing a game with him, at least not this time. "That I . . . that I'm . . ."

"Gay?" Arthur finished for him, and Merlin nodded, if a little shakily. It didn't bother him anymore, that Arthur had once been one of the most popular boys in school. It didn't matter, not now. It didn't matter that he'd made fun of him for so long. Because the Arthur he was seeing now, was a completely different person, and now, Merlin not only accepted him, but he understood him. He understood, having to pretend to be someone else, to live up to people's expectations, he understood, having to hide who you really were, and what you were really feeling. "Why should it?"

"I don't know, I guess I just thought . . . never mind," Merlin mumbled, suddenly feeling ashamed. He couldn't believe he'd ever thought that Arthur would judge him for being gay. At least not now.

Before Merlin could calm himself down enough to start asking questions of his own, the doorbell rang. And Merlin found himself a little disappointed that his time alone with Arthur was being cut short, already. There was something about the other boy, that he just found so intriguing and he found himself being almost drawn to him, desperate to know more. Still, he felt a small smile form on his face, when he heard a small sigh of Arthur's own disappointment.

It seemed he wasn't the only one that wanted them to have a little more time together.

Later that night, Morgana, Merlin, Gwen and Arthur, were sat in the Pendragon's upstairs living room, scattered across the sofa and floor. They had chosen the upstairs living room, as Uther was downstairs, watching TV, and Merlin and Gwen did not really want to have any awkward run-ins with their Headmaster. Well, any more than were absolutely necessary. The room that they were in, although it was slightly smaller than the downstairs living room, was a lot more comfortable, and homey. It had quite a large, flat-screen TV on one wall, and a large, U-shaped cream sofa, facing it. That was basically all that made up the room, besides a few small tables, and a window, covered by heavy curtains.

And although the TV was staring them right in the face, the four of them had stopped watching it a long while ago, and it was now turned off. Instead, they'd decided to get to know each other a little better. Even if two of them were siblings, and three of them were best friends. Morgana and Merlin were sat on the sofa, whilst Gwen and Arthur were on the floor. It wasn't that the sofa wasn't large enough for the four of them, which it absolutely was, it was just that it made it easier for them to talk. Morgana sat, cross-legged, like a small child, whereas Merlin was sat in the corner of the sofa, feet up. Gwen sat, mirroring Morgana's position almost completely, whilst Arthur lounged against the sofa, one knee up, resting his arm on it.

"Let's play 'Never Have I Ever'!" Morgana exclaimed suddenly, which resulted in groans from the boys, and Gwen looking a little confused.

"Morgana, Uther's just downstairs," she explained, and Morgana rolled her eyes.

"You're no fun, Gwen, honestly," the young Pendragon teased, before looking thoughtful for a moment. "Okay, so we'll just say that whoever gets taken out first, has to do a dare, of the group's choice?"

Gwen smiled then, and if Merlin didn't know any better, he could almost say that there was a hint of evil in that smile. Still, he chose to ignore it. Surely nothing that bad could come of one of Morgana's silly games. He'd played 'Never Have I Ever', back in Ealdor, with Will and a few of his other friends, and was familiar with the rules. Basically, all the players have, as Merlin understood it, something like ten chances. They went around the circle, and each person had to say something that they'd never done before. If another player had done it before, they lost one of their chances. If they lost all ten, they were out of the game.

Merlin just desperately hoped that he didn't get out first. There was no way he wanted to be on the receiving end on one of Morgana's dares. It never ended well.

"Fine," Arthur sighed, and the girls grinned widely. The four of them held out their hands, and looked expectantly at each other. Morgana nodded in Arthur's direction, and he sighed again. Why did he have to go first? But then, he looked as if an idea had hit him, and he grinned at Morgana wickedly. "Never have I ever . . . had a crush on one of my parent's friends or colleagues."

Morgana glared at him, and slowly put one of her fingers down. Gwen and Merlin tried to hide their shock, but it obviously hadn't worked. Still, nothing was said about it, and Arthur continued to look smug, as Morgana looked like steam was about to begin coming out of her ears. As she was the next one in the circle, she smiled at Arthur, with a look so sweet, it was almost sickening.

"Never have I ever . . ." she began, and by the way her eyes were darting between him and Merlin, Arthur knew what she was going to say. Still, it wasn't like there was anything he could do about it now. He'd told them one of her darkest secrets, now it was her turn. He only hoped that no questions would be asked afterwards. "Fancied anyone in this room."

There was a sharp intake of breath, as everyone but Morgana put one of their fingers down. Including Gwen. As Merlin put his finger down, Arthur couldn't help but feel a small twinge of hope. But, even though Merlin was gay now, it didn't mean he'd always been. It could just as easily be Morgana or Gwen that he was thinking of. Little did he know though, Merlin felt the same twinge of hope, when he saw Arthur's finger go down. And while Morgana knew about Arthur and Merlin, she hadn't been expecting Gwen to lose out that time, at all.

The game went on for a while, and the answers ranged from slightly weird, to absolutely ridiculous.

"Never have I ever skinny dipped," - Arthur and Morgana's fingers went down.

"Never have I ever been suspended from school," - Merlin and Arthur's fingers went down.

"Never have I ever lied about my age," - Merlin, Arthur and Morgana's fingers went down.

"Never have I ever been in love," - Merlin and Gwen's fingers went down.

"Never have I ever gotten a detention," - Merlin, Arthur, and Morgana's fingers went down.

In the end, Merlin and Arthur both had only two fingers left held up, while Morgana had five, and Gwen had seven. Already, they'd learned a little more about each other than they had previously, and, on occasion, a little too much. Then again, most of what they had heard, probably should have been expected. Merlin and Gwen knew that the younger Pendragons had reckless tendencies, whilst Arthur and Morgana knew that Merlin and Gwen were more thoughtful, caring types. Still, some of the things they heard, they still found rather surprising.

"Never have I ever . . ." Gwen began, and Merlin saw something shift in her eyes. She looked over at Morgana, and they shared . . . a look. A look that, for some reason, girls always understood, and guys had difficulty understanding. Morgana smirked back at Gwen, and Merlin hoped to God that they weren't planning something. "Fancied someone of the same sex."

Merlin sighed, as he put one of his two remaining fingers down. They were trying to get him out of the game, that much was becoming obvious. And they were going to dare him to do something extremely embarrassing. He loved Morgana, but sometimes, she could be so wicked. And he knew it'd all been Morgana's idea, because Gwen would never do something like -

Hang on, Merlin thought, as he saw Gwen looking over at Arthur, almost shocked. Arthur was putting one of his fingers down too. But Arthur wasn't - was he? He'd never mentioned it before, but then again, why would he? It had never really come up in conversation, to be fair, except when they were talking about Merlin. And maybe Arthur had been about to tell him, before the doorbell had rung?

"Never have I ever . . ." Morgana continued, and Merlin and Arthur took in a sharp intake of breath at the same time. She smiled evilly at them, and stated simply; "Lied about who I really am."

Now, Morgana had only really said that to tease Arthur. She'd known he'd have to put his finger down, and that he'd lose the game. What she hadn't been expecting, however, was for Merlin to do the same. Although rather tentatively at first, in the end, Merlin sighed in defeat, and let his hands fall to his lap. And he wasn't at all hindered by the fact that Arthur had put his hands down too. It made a lot of sense, in fact. Arthur was a completely different person now, compared to who he had been a mere few weeks ago. It only made sense that he'd had to lie about who he really was.

And Merlin could say what he liked about Morgana, she was over-confident, blunt, quick-thinking, sly, reckless, occasionally judgmental, and sometimes incredibly rude. But if there was one thing she wasn't, it was a liar. Morgana had always been honest with Merlin, from Day One, and with everyone else, for that matter. Morgana simply was who she was, and she didn't let anyone else try to change that. Merlin often wished he could be more like her sometimes.

Later that night, Merlin and Arthur, much to their dismay, made good on the dare that Morgana and Gwen had asked of them. They had to sleep in the same bed. At first, the idea hadn't seemed that bad, as they'd tried not to think about it too much. It obviously wasn't what they'd originally planned, but they'd thought they could make it work. It was only when it came to getting undressed, and actually getting in bed together, that it really occurred to them what they were being asked to do.

Stood on opposite sides of the bed, and both stripped to to the waist, Merlin and Arthur simply looked at each other, the idea of what they were about to do, finally dawning on them. Obviously, they could just back out of the dare, but Merlin knew Arthur wasn't one to back down. And he had to say, he didn't exactly want to either. There was no way that he was letting Morgana get the better of him. No way he was letting her win. He was going to complete this dare, whether he liked it or not.

They each took in a breath, before slowly getting into the bed. They were almost completely mirroring each other's actions, as they lay on their backs, looking up at the ceiling. They each brought up the sheets to cover their chests, but were probably only centimeters apart. And while Arthur's bed was extremely comfortable, neither of them had felt so incredibly awkward in their entire lives. And that was saying something.

"Arthur, when Gwen said that she'd never fancied someone of the same sex . . ." Merlin trailed off, not really knowing what else to say. He knew it probably wasn't the most appropriate time to be discussing Arthur's sexuality, but the words had just come tumbling out. And besides, conversation was the only way he could distract himself from the fact that there was a half-naked Arthur Pendragon lay next to him.

"Yes?" Arthur asked, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. And it honestly still stunned Merlin that he could be so cool about it. A few weeks ago, Arthur would never have been caught dead in the same room as Merlin. Let alone, lay in the same bed with him, half-naked, talking about his homosexuality. And yet, here they were, and Arthur wasn't in the slightest bit bothered, it seemed.

"Well, you said that you . . . are you . . ." he trailed off again. He didn't know what it was, but whenever he spoke to Arthur about anything remotely personal, he turned into a mumbling wreck. In any other situation, talking about anything else, he was fine. There was just something about the other boy that made him so nervous.

"Gay? You can say it Merlin, it's not a bad word. You of all people should know that," Arthur replied, sounding a lot more confident than he sounded. He guessed it probably came from years of experience in lying. "And I am, if you must know. That's not a problem, is it?"

"N-no . . ." Merlin muttered, surprised at the snappish tone in Arthur's question. He could tell that he was getting the slightest bit frustrated now. "I . . . I'm sorry, I didn't . . . it's just . . . I don't really like to talk about . . . that sort of stuff, at least . . . I don't mind with Gwen and Morgana, and I know we're kind of friends now, I guess, I just . . . I still don't know you that well, and . . . I'm just so used to having to lie about it. I . . ."

"Is that what you meant before? About having to lie about who you really were?" Arthur asked, turning onto his side, so he could look at Merlin, who was still staring intently at the ceiling.

"I . . . partly," Merlin replied, trying to force himself to answer honestly. He was feeling slightly more comfortable now, Arthur's now calm voice reassuring him. He turned onto his side as well, facing Arthur. "I've always had to pretend that I was . . . like other people. Yes, that I was straight, but also . . . that I was happy, because, most of the time, I wasn't. Will always tried to be there for me, but even he . . . I never really . . . I loved him, of course I did, I just never felt like I could . . . anyway, he . . . the accident happened before we could ever really talk about it.

Ever since then, I've just pretended to be happy. Mostly for Morgana and Gwen's sake. They worry about me, quite a lot, and I don't want to cause them any concern. But these past few weeks, minus everything in the middle, of course, have probably been the happiest I've felt in years. The only thing that bothers me, is that no one really noticed the difference."

Arthur sighed, and Merlin thought for a second that he was angry again, though he couldn't, for the life of him, think why. But instead of anger, he only saw sympathy, and kindness in Arthur's warm, blue eyes. The blonde boy reached over, and gently placed one of his hands on Merlin's cheek, gently stroking the pale, ivory skin with his thumb. Merlin felt his heart skip several beats, and he swore to God, that this boy would be the death of him. Causing him heart failure, if nothing else.

"I did."

Cheesy, I know, but trust me, that was playing it down! Anyway, let me know what you thought, review!