Envy (def.): A feeling of discontent and resentment aroused by and in conjunction with desire for the possessions or qualities of another.
Akari's brain knows it, even if it takes some effort to say: he's jealous. It isn't Hirato he's jealous of either; it's the women around Hirato, all of them competing for his smile. More than that, Akari knows he isn't even in the running because he's already won. He has Hirato in his bed each night and his heart in his hand, and that's the most important thing, right?
So why, why does it make his chest ache to see Hirato flirting with women?
His envy culminates on a night neither man ever really looks forward to and both will look back on with a bit of embarrassment.
It's an infrequent occurrence but one everyone knows will happen every so often. Some of the government higher ups, when they feel tensions are growing between the upper class citizens, mostly bankers and politicians, and Circus, call for a party to smooth things over. It's always a gala for the ages, a night full of orchestral music and gaudy clothes. The conversations are mostly harmless small talk and everyone seems pleasant, though Akari is well aware of some of the less than legal things that take place behind the scenes.
While Akari is forced to go, he isn't inclined to partake in the festivities. He takes a glass of scotch and finds a peaceful place to sit and watch others have their fun, far more content to stay on the sidelines than join in the game. Besides, if he were to join in on a conversation, he would just end up being too blunt and upsetting the mood, so he stays away and fulfills his duty of being a wallflower.
Tsukitachi isn't entirely willing to leave Akari alone. He's decked up extravagantly for the evening, his suit an interesting shade of navy with… stars on it? "Really," he moans, "an event like this can hardly be called a party."
Not enough scantily clad women, too little hard liquor. Akari has heard it all before, and he doesn't particularly want to hear it again. "You complain, but there's a girl a few yards away from us who you've been trying to win over all night," he says without infliction. He's known Tsukitachi long enough to know exactly what to say to get him to go away. "She keeps looking this way, so you might be close to winning her over." Akari doesn't like to play games like the two captains do, but if a white lie will let him be left alone, he's willing to.
Tsukitachi grabs his top hat, somehow also decorated with small stars, from the back of his chair and heads off in the direction of the poor woman. Akari scans the room for Hirato and sips absentmindedly on his scotch.
There. Surrounded by, of course, women. Hirato is taller than all of them, so Akari can see his easy smile over their heads. The doctor expects Hirato to excuse himself from them, but to his chagrin, he stays put. Worse still, the dark haired man seems to be enjoying himself immensely. Akari manages to convince himself that the uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach is the result of too much to drink, and undoubtedly the alcohol is also responsible for how annoyed the women make him. Two of them in particular, one with dark skin and even darker hair, braided through with beads, and one with wavy blonde locks and striking blue eyes, catch his attention. It isn't their good looks alone that bother him, although he will admit they are beautiful.
No, it's the way Hirato acts with them. His stance is relaxed but straight with military training, giving off alpha male vibes, and his grin comes far too willingly. Akari is too far away to hear what's being said, but he can hear the bubbly laughter of the women. It makes his jaw clench, and he takes another drink to calm himself. Hirato won't see him act out; that's what the man wants. Akari won't give him that. Even when Hirato kisses the dark skinned girl's gloved hand, the doctor stays seated with nothing but boredom on his face. Making a scene is Tsukitachi's job, not his.
Everything would have been fine had Hirato not been responsible for escorting him back. The flight to the Research Tower seems to drag on forever in quiet, all Hirato's attempts at conversation met with silence. The captain gives up after awhile and lets Akari have his peace, even though peaceful is the opposite of the state of Akari's mind.
When they finally arrive, Akari is eager to leave, but a soft word from Hirato makes him stay.
"Goodnight." That's all. No kiss goodbye, no embrace, not even something as small as a handshake.
Akari turns slowly and sees a faint trace of sadness on Hirato's face. "What?" he asks, and Hirato blinks.
"I said goodnight, Akari-san."
Akari's fingers clench and unclench. "Goodnight. Yeah. Goodnight to you too. Hopefully you can take one of those girls back to the ship with you," Akari says with more anger than intended.
Hirato's nose crinkles in confusion then Akari can practically see the pieces fit together in his brain. "That's what you're angry about? Of all the—" Hirato pauses with a sigh and rubs the bridge of his nose. "Akari-san, you hate it when Tsukitachi or I try to sit with you at those parties. I thought I was doing you a favor by leaving you alone. I apologize for making you lonely."
"I wasn't lonely," Akari snaps. "I was just…"
The corners of Hirato's mouth lift. "You were jealous," he says thoughtfully. "I understand now. My apologies." He reaches up and takes Akari's hand, planting a kiss on it before the doctor has a chance to jerk it away. "Is that better?"
"No," Akari replies halfheartedly, and Hirato stands to pull Akari into a warm embrace that the doctor has no hopes of escaping from.
"Is this?" Hirato kisses Akari's forehead lightly. "It's not as though I wanted to be with those women. You're aware the party was only for the upper class, yes?" Akari nods, his head resting on Hirato's shoulder. "Those two women are in charge of Vantnam's biggest law firm. I was ordered to win them over since they seemed to be expressing doubts about the reliability of Circus. It was nothing more than that."
It's strange how envy can transform into embarrassment and guilt from a single sentence. Akari makes a promise to himself to be better about it as he pries himself away from Hirato, reminding himself that while he may be a bastard, he is a loyal one.