(watch for changes in POV)
It was evening yet again in Mayberry. Ellie accompanied Andy, Aunt Bee and Opie for dinner (upon her request).
"Mmmm, mmm! That was goo-ood! Another smash-hit supper by Aunt Bee," exclaimed Andy, to the minor embarrassment of Aunt Bee.
"Oh, thank-you Andy," giggled Bee.
"I can't help but agree," said Ellie politely.
"Thank you, m'dear," Bee thanked politely back.
"Gosh, I ain't never seen a girl wear pants before!" Opie said, apparently unable to hide his astonishment any longer. Andy's face lost about 50 degrees of sunshine.
"Opie, can I tell you something?" Ellie leaned over to Opie.
"What?" Opie grinned as if in on a secret.
"It's because women are oppressed here in the South."
"What's uh-pressed mean?" Opie asked.
"Hey, Ope, I think it's about time you went to bed, don't you?" Andy got up, motioning Opie to get up.
"But Pa, I haven't finished my potatoes!" Opie said.
"That's okay, we can put 'em in your lunch for school tomorrow," said Andy, pushing his son up the stairs. "Good night, Ope!"
"'Night, pa! 'Night Aunt Bee! 'Night Ms. Walker-!" and with that Opie was shut in his room. Andy slapped on a smile and came back down the stairs.
"Speaking of bedtime," Andy said with a mock yawn, "it's pro'lly about time you went to the hotel, Ellie."
"But Andy, she only just got here before dinner? Surely we could play a game of cards or something," chimed Aunt Bee, to which Andy shot a distressed look.
"Yeah, Andy, a game of cards," Ellie said cutely (she was trying to be flirtatious). Andy's eyes bulged.
"Wh-why don't you two ladies get a head-start on that card game, and I'll- I'll-" Andy looked around, and saw Aunt Bee's apron on the couch. "I'll do the dishes!"
"Oh, Andy, I can do those later!" assured Bee.
"It's no trouble!" said Andy, throwing on the pink frilly apron. "I'll be done in a flash!"
Later, their fifth game of spades was winding down and Andy had finished dishes for over an hour.
"I win again!" cried Ellie. Andy was beginning to fall asleep with his head leaning on his hand.
"Ellie Walker, you are very good at this game!" stated Aunt Bee.
"I played a lot of card games as kid," said Ellie.
"Ah, I see. Oh look at Andy, he's fallen asleep right on his hand," Bee said.
"He's sweet," cooed Ellie. Aunt Bee saw Ellie admiring him, so she excused herself to do the dishes so that they could have some time to themselves. Andy woke up.
"Wha-what?" he bumbled, shaking himself out of sleep.
"You were sleeping, Andy," said Ellie.
"So I was." There was a bit of a pause.
"Y'know what Andy?" Ellie said affectionately.
"What?"
"You're still a very attractive man." Andy's stomach sank, and his eyes bulged.
"Th-thanks..."
"And... I was crazy to have ever left you."
"Well that's an awfully nice thing to say, Ellie, but-"
"In fact... I'm so crazy for you Andy, I could- I could- oh no, it's silly..."
"What's... silly?" Andy wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer.
"Oh, I could ask you to make love to me. Make sweet, sweet love to me, Andrew Taylor-!" Andy shot to his feet, and Ellie followed suit.
"Ellie, what on earth-?!"
"Come on, Andy, it's a new era, it's a new world out there! The South can't stay 'the South,' much longer, 'cause the world out there is changing- and making love unmarried isn't wrong- it's just spreading the love around! Don't you see, Andy-?"
"I, in fact, do not see, Ellie! That is about one of the silliest and most dishonorable things you could ask of me!"
"There is just as much honor in our coitus as in any others'!" Andy's jaw about hit the floor.
"As for the 'world out there'- I'm not at all inclined as to what the world is or isn't doin', but as for you and I- we AIN'T doin' THAT!"
"C'mon, Andy..." Ellie chased Andy out onto the porch.
"I am going to march up to his house and right up to his face and ask him to go with me to the picnic. That's exactly what I'm going to do," Helen was nagging herself in the reflection of a car window a block from Andy's house. Just don't mess this up, Helen, she scolded herself. So, she marched herself semi-confidently down the street to Andy's house.
Ellie was getting closer and closer to Andy as they shuffled around his porch and onto his front yard.
Helen was about ten feet from Andy's house.
"Andy, you make me feel so good," sapped Ellie.
"I'm glad for you. Now, if you'd-"
"Oh, Andy, just kiss me...!" and with that, Ellie, snatched Andy into her arms into an weird and voracious kiss, smack-on-the-mouth.
And Helen had front-row seats.