Chapter 13: Tears
Dear Princess Cadance
I'm sorry it took me so long to respond, but I was doing my best to try and figure out exactly how I define love. I do not think that I can describe it accurately, but my best attempt would be that love is when you cannot describe your feelings for someone other than saying 'love'.
I'm sorry that I cannot think of a better way to describe it, but that is the best I could put into words. Everything else is just feeling. Its indescribable for me, or at least I cannot describe it. But when I think of my friends I think of love.
I'm sorry this letter was delayed further, but Rainbow Dash needed me. I promised her I wouldn't tell anypony what happened, but if you talk to Shining Armor he should be able to tell you.
Your friend,
Fluttershy
The entire Ponyville branch of the Apple Family stood in the homestead, all around Applejack's bed. They had all been surprised when Applejack had come running onto the farm a short while earlier with Rainbow Dash draped across her back, wailing hysterically. Before any questions could be asked Applejack was barking orders. No one questioned her and they all did as they were told; a friend was clearly in need and the Apple Family were nothing if not attentive to their friends.
Granny Smith had gone up to Applejack's room as fast as her old hips could carry her to add some clean blankets and pillows to the bed while Big Mac had taken on the burden of Rainbow Dash's weight, allowing Applejack to remain beside her friend and calm her down.
Applebloom's task had been to run into town to fetch a doctor as fast as she could, but the youngest of the Apples wasn't exactly the fastest when it came to running. Instead, she ran to her own room and grabbed a whistle. It was a rather loud whistle that, when she blew into it and into a cone that was sitting right next to the whistle, could be heard clear across Ponyville.
The whistle was the emergency call of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. They all had one, and when one of them heard it they were to report to the clubhouse as soon as they could. If time weren't of the essence, Applebloom wouldn't have bothered with this childish gimmick, but for the situation it was actually beneficial.
Applebloom was the closest of the Cutie Mark Crusaders to the clubhouse by a long shot. Despite this, however, there was already a pony there by the time she arrived. The dark yellow coat and dark red mane of Zippity Zip was jogging circles around the base of the treehouse when Applebloom got there.
"Zip!" She called, breathless from her run. The yellow filly saw her and darted across the distance separating them faster than one might have believed possible.
"Applebloom! Whats up? Who blew the whistle?" she asked, her voice firing words at the Apple filly mile-a-minute.
"Ah did," Applebloom said, "Its an emergency! Ah need ya to run 'nto town and get the doctor. Rainbow Dash is hurt and at the farm with mah-"
"Got it!" Zippity Zip said, vanishing in a puff of dust as she bolted away. Applebloom watched her quickly vanish into the distance and then waited. The other Crusaders might get mad at her for blowing the whistle and only needing one of them to do anything, but she'd take all the flack they could throw if it would help Dash.
Applejack managed to get Granny Smith and Big Macintosh out of the bedroom so she could have some private time with her friend. Something terrible had happened and Applejack knew she wouldn't want an audience in such a situation. She'd want to talk to someone, but she'd want privacy.
"Shhhh," Applejack said once she was beside Rainbow Dash again. She gently stroked Dash's rainbow mane with her hoof while whispering "Shhhh" too her over and over.
"Everythin's fine now," Applejack said quietly, "Yer safe."
"N-nothing's f-f-fine," Rainbow Dash sobbed. She had only stopped wailing loudly a short while earlier because her throat had been getting hoarse and it became too painful to scream.
"But ya are safe," Applejack cooed, "Wanna tell me what happened?"
"N-no," Rainbow Dash said. She wanted to, she really really wanted to unload all of her problems right now, but she was terrified that when she opened up she would just feel more pain. Rainbow Dash had felt enough pain to last her a lifetime, and any more was completely unwanted. Applejack frowned but didn't press the issue. Not consciously. Her eyes glowed orange beneath her shut lids and Rainbow Dash's did the same. Dash's desire to confess everything to Applejack began to grow within her until she nodded her head. "Yes." she said after a few silent seconds. "I...I want to talk about it."
The blue mare rolled off off of her side and settled on her knees on the bed. She slid herself closer to the pillows at the head of the bed and gave Applejack a pleading look. The blonde pony understood and climbed onto the bed with Rainbow Dash and sat beside her. Dash rested her head on Applejack's shoulder and the tears began to flow fresh from her eyes as she spoke.
"Gilda came to my place the other day. Her and some male griffon she's into now. They...they 'invited' me to join them in a threesome. I refused, but Gilda didn't take my no for an answer. She...he...they..." Rainbow Dash sobbed as a lump rose in her throat and Applejack put one of her arms around the pegasai's shoulder. If Dash hadn't already been trembling from her sobbing she would have felt Applejack's barely contained rage in her shaking limbs. Though Dash didn't come out and say it, the implications were obvious now that Appljack had the context. The farm pony was shaking with anger and if it hadn't been so clear that she needed to be here beside her friend she would have gotten up and gone straight to Cloudsdale to find this griffon and introduced her to Bucky McGillicutty and Kick's McGee.
"I tried to stop them," Rainbow Dash went on, "But then Tank came in to try and help. Gilda," She had to stop talking for a few seconds. Applejack had a very bad feeling about what Rainbow was trying to say. Whatever happened to Tank was harder for her to say than what had happened to her. "She broke his shellcopter," Dash managed to choke out, "and I watched him fall through the floor." She turned and threw her arms around Applejack. Rainbow Dash buried her face in her friend's neck and cried more. Applejack returned the hug and kept gently stroking Rainbow Dash's mane. She could barely hear whatever disjointed words her friend was trying to say as she cried, but she managed to piece together that Dash had been helpless to save Tank and despite his sacrifice she just laid there and let the griffons have their way with her.
Applejack was sickened by the entire story, but she couldn't do anything just yet. She wanted retribution, but she needed to stay with Dash.
Applejack stayed with Rainbow Dash while she cried. Over time, Applejack helped Rainbow Dash lay down and within minutes the emotionally exhausted pegasus had fallen asleep. The earth pony carefully disentangled herself from Rainbow Dash's arms and covered her friend up with the blanket before heading for the door. Just outside was the rest of her family and several of the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
"Doctors on his way," Applebloom said quietly.
"Good," Applejack said, "Can ya take care of her for a while? Ah need to go talk ta Twilight."
"Sure," Applebloom said. Granny Smith nodded as well.
"Eyu-" Big Mac began.
"Not you Mac," Applejack said, "Ah need you ta come with me."
"Aight," the big red pony said passively.
"What do ya need Mac for?" Applebloom asked, concerned that without any sufficient muscle around the house that she and her granny would be at a loss if something went bad.
"Nothin' ya need ta worry yerself about," Applejack said, squeezing between Applebloom and Granny Smith to get to the stairs. Big Mac followed her.
Applebloom looked at Granny and the older pony turned to go downstairs as well.
"Ahm gonna make Dashie some soup," She said, "Mah momma always made me soup when I was a youngin and it always cheered me up. Ah remember one time..." her voice trailed away as Applebloom stopped paying attention. She'd heard the soup story enough times to recite it herself anyway.
She led the other Cutie Mark Crusaders back into the room where Rainbow Dash was fitfully sleeping. They were all quiet because they didn't want to wake her up. They all had heard her crying from out in the hallway and none of them wanted her to get that upset again. Scootaloo was particularly affected by the sounds of her hero's misery and had almost broken down in tears herself.
"Remind me to apologize to Sweetie Bell next time we see her," she had told Applebloom.
"So whats the plan?" Pipsqueak asked Applebloom.
"We just need to keep an eye on Dash," Applebloom said. "Maybe someone should...oh wait!" she almost yelled in excitement as ideas came to her. She gestured for everyone to come back out into the hall. "We may not know what to do to help Dash but her friends would! Scoot, head on out to Sugarcube Corner an' find Pinkie Pie. She's usually around there. Zip, go on out and find Fluttershy. Ah've no idea where she might be, so look everywhere. The rest of y'all come with me. Not you Pipsqueak, ah need you tah go downstairs so ya can show the doctor up here straight away when he gets here."
The Crusaders all put there hooves together then split up, with Applebloom and the remaining Air Horn and Toddleoff heading to another room along the hall.
"What are we doing on Mac's room?" Toddleoff asked as she looked around.
"We're gonna find his secret doll," Applebloom said, "Ah saw him with it when he was sick a few months back. Ah figure if it helped Mac get better, it'll help Dash too. 'Sides, sometimes ya need someone to hug."
"Bleh, hugs are for girls," Air Horn said before Toddleoff socked him in the face.
"Hugs are for everyone!" she argued, "My daddy -loves- my hugs."
"Because you're a girl!" Air Horn argued, shoving Toddleoff.
"'Dash is a girl too," she argued, rearing onto her hind legs to try and stomp down on Air Horn's head. Applebloom jumped in between the two and gave them both a swat on the head.
"Enough o' that," she said, "Help me find the dang doll. Y'all can play hoofycuffs later." Toddleoff and Air Horn were notorious for arguing all the time and Applebloom knew she had to assert her authority as the 'leader' of the Cutie Mark Crusasders- a title she wielded whenever Scootaloo was very far away- which tended to work. The two foals stopped their bickering and gave her attentive nods before splitting up to scour her big brother's room. They pulled out drawers, flipped the mattress and scoured his closet before they finally found the doll hidden inside of his pillow.
Applebloom took the doll and told the others to clean up the room- earning her a pair of groans but otherwise no complaints- while she took the doll into Rainbow Dash's room. Quietly she crept across the floor and up to the bed. Dash was still asleep, breathing evenly and calmly. Applebloom, as carefully as she could, tossed Smarty Pants up onto the bed so that it landed on one of Dash's hooves. As the young filly backed away she saw the sleeping pegasus shift herself in bed and pull the doll into a hug. Considering that a rousing success, she left the room and shut the door.
I need to go faster. I always need to go faster; it is a major part of who I am. I love to win, and I win with my speed. This time I'm not going fast enough. I can feel the wind whipping through my mane, threatening to tear it out, but I'm still to slow. I can't even see the clouds anymore; they're just white blurs against this milky black backdrop. But I'm so slow! So slow! I won't make it there in time, and its catching up to me.
I feel the claws dig into my back and my vision blurs a bit. I struggle and flap my wings harder. I push myself even faster than before, but that quickly proves to be a mistake. The claws drag themselves along my back like knives. They rip fur and flesh and draw blood that I can feel run down my sides; a burning hot contrast to the icy cold wind around me and even colder fear that grips my heart.
All of my speed was taken from me as another sharp pain stabbed at my side, and then another in my chest. I could feel myself being pulled backwards, away from my falling pet.
"Tank!" I cried as he plummeted through the air before me. His mouth opened and formed the words 'Help me!' but I couldn't hear him over the sound of my heart pounding in my ears and my own screams of pain.
I watched as two griffons dug their claws into me. I was no longer me though, I was someone else. I was falling and I was watching myself be dragged away; pulled towards a frightening fortress formed of storm clouds and spewing rainbows consisting solely of red fading to black. It looked like a true hell.
My gaze shifted and I was watching Pinkie Pie continue to fall through the air. But she was Tank a moment ago, wasn't she? The claws were in me again and the edges of my vision began to show the storm clouds. I was being drawn inside a place I dreaded to go.
I lurched and I fought and, after an immense pain that felt like something was ripped out of me, I was free! The skies cleared and I flew as fast as I could to the falling...Fluttershy? This was so weird. I couldn't understand what was going on.
As I flew the dark clouds began to return. They swirled around me and around Fluttershy, closing in like vices. They blocked my sight and robbed the world of light. I couldn't see anything. I felt like I was still flying but there was nothing to reference. No feeling of movement.
I suddenly impacted something. It was more yielding than a rock or a tree, but still firm.
"Getting a little excited there?" a pegasus asked me. Who was he? I didn't recognize him. A moment later he was gone, taking off to the sound of a whistle.
"Dash lets go!" Twilight's voice called to me. I turned around and saw my friends standing on the hill where we have picnics. Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy were there also. And so was Tank!
"You're up Rainbow Dash," another voice called. Behind me again. I turned to see Spitfire with a clipboard in in her hand. We were in the Cloudsdale stadium and there were crowds filling the bleachers. "Haven't got all day."
I had to perform. I had to prove that I was Wonderbolt material.
"C'mon Dash!" Applejack called.
I turned around, about to tell them I'd only be a minute, but they were all walking away, heading for the sunset. They looked back at mewith smiles, waving their hooves, gesturing me to come along.
"Running out of time," Spitfire said impatiently, "Us or them rookie?" she asked. I froze up: Wonderbolts or my friends? What kind of choice was that? I turned my back to Spitfire and flew off to my friends who had almost vanished over the hill. "Bad choice!" Spitfire called after me, but I ignored her. I knew where I belonged. It would be pointless to join the Wonderbolts and lose my friends.
I ran as fast as I could. I didn't want to fly; the pain was still too near even though my body had no marks anymore. I didn't look up but I could feel the clouds above me, just waiting for me to get off of the ground.
My friends stood waiting for me, smiling. But when I was close enough to be among them, their smiles were no longer warm and friendly. They weren't even smiles. They were scowls and grimaces.
"Guys? Whats wrong?" I asked, but my legs were shaking and I felt sick. I knew why they were looking at me like that.
"What you did in school was so...un-lady-like" Rarity said with scorn.
"Slut!" Pinkie Pie added, her glare accusatory.
"Yer a dyke?" Applejack asked in angry surprise rather than questioning.
"She's a liar," Twilight said. Each of them turned their backs to me and walked away when they were done speaking.
"I don't want to speak to you again," Fluttershy finished last, her sorrow more painful than the hatred of the others. She flew away and only Tank remained, looking up at me.
"Why?" he asked.
"Why what?" I asked in return.
"Why did you let me die?"
"I didn't!"
"I'm not alive right now," he said, frowning at me, "You could have saved me."
"I couldn't!" I said. My eyes burned with tears and a lump was rising in my throat. I remembered vividly how Gilda destroyed the shellcopter and dropped him. I had struggled and strained against Iron Claw's arms but I couldn't escape, "I was held back! He was too stro-"
"You gave up on me," Tank said, "You gave up on yourself. You gave up on trying. You gave up. You gave up when you liked Derpy. You gave up when you couldn't do another Rainboom after the first one. You gave up when you decided sleeping around in the academy was better than being who you really were. You gave up when you realized your friends would all leave you if you told them the truth."
"They wouldn't..." I said, but I looked around. They were gone. I was alone.
"You gave up on being a Wonderbolt." Tank continued.
"No..." Dash said, "No, I can't give up on that." The turtle began to fade away. Dash grabbed for him and lifted his fading visage up, "No! Tank don't go! Fluttershy! Twilight! Applejack! Pinkie Pie! Rarity! Don't leave me!" The storm clouds had
A pink hoof touched Rainbow Dash's shoulder and she almost jumped out of the bed. Her eyes stung and her chest ached. She was crying. She had been crying for some time, it felt. She looked at the hoof on her shoulder and then up at its owner. Pinkie Pie. Her sky blue eyes full of concern but her smile disarmed Rainbow Dash and quelled the fear in her heart.
Pinkie Pie held onto her friend's hoof and watched as her friend stared off into space. The blue pony trembled in the dark as Fluttershy hovered over the bed and landed beside her. She pulled Rainbow Dash into an embrace.
Dash flinched, taking a few moments to realize what was going on, then with a sigh of relief she hugged back and buried her head into the yellow fur of her friends shoulder and sobbed.
"We're here for you Rainbow," Fluttershy whispered. Pinkie Pie climbed up onto the bed and sat at Rainbow Dash's other side. She joined in on the hug and rubbed her cheek against Dash's multicolored mane.
Rainbow Dash felt her tears start to run down her cheek and into Fluttershy's coat. But she wasn't sad. Not exclusively sad, at least. There was happiness in her tears. She was happy that her friends were here. She was happy that she could feel something other than cold, helplessness, pain and fear. Warmth, comfort, security, and joy were flooding her heart.
Pinkie Pie left the bedroom with the doctor who had checked that Rainbow Dash was alright. Fluttershy remained behind with Dash since the pegasus didn't want to be alone. Pinkie and the doctor went downstairs to where Granny Smith and Applebloom were waiting for a verdict.
"So she's okay?" Pinkie asked for the fiftieth time.
"Physically, she has no severe injuries," the doctor said, directing his speech more towards Granny Smith since Pinkie Pie was mostly working his patience by now, "She should have come to me sooner, of course. I cleaned, disinfected, and bandaged her cuts and scrapes and washed away the...residue." He made a disgusted look as he said it, which was matched by Granny Smith. "She should certainly bathe herself more thoroughly as soon as she can. Her dressings should also be changed at least once a day. Will she be staying here or does she have some place with family to go?"
"She'll be stayin' here fer certain," Granny Smith said.
"Good," The doctor said, "Solitude is not recommended for someone in her condition."
"Well don'tcha worry," Granny Smith said, "Between me, Applejack, Applebloom 'n Big Mac, Rainbow Dash won't be alone fer a sec-" The door opened, causing attention to shift from Granny over to it. Pinkie Pie leaned around the doctor to see who was coming in.
Applejack, Twilight, Rarity and Big Mac walked in. All of them, except Twilight, were covered in bruises, cuts, and blood, but all of them were smiling.
"Oh good there's a doctor here," Twilight said, "Now you three need to get looked at. You don't have any more excuses."
"Eyup," Big Mac said.
"Whaaaaaaaaat?" Pinkie Pie cried out, "What happened to all of you?"
"We made certain that those horrible griffons would never hurt Rainbow Dash, or anyone for that matter, again." Rarity said with a smile and a wince. One of her eyes was black and blue and swollen shut, but she looked as though she had just sold a dozen dresses to the Canterlot elite.
"Shinin' Armor had'em all sent off ta jail as well," Applejack said, one of her teeth missing, "Hey doc, y'all can look at mah brother 'n Rarity first. Ah wanna check in on Rainbow Dash. Ah hope she's okay?"
"Rainbow Dash is fine," the doctor said, already poking at Big Mac's ribs, causing the big pony to wince and grunt, "As fine as someone can be considering what she's been through."
"Good," Applejack said, vanishing up the stairs. Pinkie Pie looked at Rarity and Big Mac for a moment before going upstairs as well. When she made it to Applejack's room Fluttershy was just stepping out of it. Pinkie looked over her through the door and saw Applejack talking to Rainbow Dash.
"Applejack looks awful," Fluttershy commented.
"Yeah," Pinkie Pie said, "So do Rarity and Big Mac. They're downstairs. Is Dashie okay?"
"She's doing better," Fluttershy said, "I'm going to go see how the others are."
Pinkie nodded and kept looking into the room. Rainbow Dash was hugging Applejack now. The pink pony shut the door and made her way downstairs. She saw Rarity wincing as the doctor applied some brown liquid to her swollen eye, Applebloom wrapping a bandage around one of Big Mac's legs, and Twilight sitting close to Fluttershy, their tails entwined.
Quietly, she exited the Sweet Apple home. The sun was almost set as she walked home, feelings mixing within her. She was glad that Rainbow Dash was okay, angry over what had happened to her, and sad that, at the end of the day, she was once again going to be alone.
When she made it to Sugarcube Corner she was accosted by the Cakes, whom she informed on Rainbow Dash's condition. They decided to bake something special her. Pinkie Pie put on a fake smile and promised to deliver it in the morning, but she was tired and wanted to go to sleep early so they left her be.
Up in her room. Pinkie Pie lay in bed on one side, looking at a photograph of her and her friends all together and happy. She remembered that day. She remembered every day she spent with her friends. It hurt having all of that love inside of her, unable to come out.
"Why don't any of them love me?" she asked herself as she stared tearfully at the picture, "Why can't I just love all of them? It would be sooo much easier if-" She paused mid sentence as the light over her head flicked on. "Love them all? Pinkie Pie, you're a genius!" she said to herself.
Dune Sea stood upon a faux-stone dais that had been set upon the ground near the northernmost edge of her camp. All around her were the fiercest and loyalist of her warriors. All sphinxes, naturally, and all under her control. Her scouts had already informed her that a single dragon was coming their way. This was perfect as far as Dune Sea's plans were concerned. A single dragon would be easy to manipulate into drinking her potion, and then her paw would be in the metaphoric door.
The door that lead to ultimate victory.
When the dragon diplomat did arrive, however, Dune Sea immediately saw that she was being given the brush-off by the barbaric race. The 'diplomat' was nothing more than a red youngster. The message was clear; the dragons saw the Rising Sun Empire as beneath them and sent an adolescent dragon to speak to them.
Nevertheless, Dune Sea was determined to maintain the proper regality for the meeting. She had little recourse; there were no ways around the Badlands and there was no way for her to force her way past the creatures. She had to play their game.
"Greetings," Dune Sea said, bending her forelegs to kneel politely for her guest, "Welcome to my army's camp. I am Dune Sea, Empress of the Rising Sun Empire, Queen of the Sphinx Clan, Sovereign of the Sands and Pharo-"
"Yeah yeah yeah," the dragon said, mimicking a talking mouth with his claws, "And I'm Garble. What did ya go and bug my dad about?"
"Ah, so the illustrious dragon that-"
"C'mon," Garble said with a groan, "It's already embarrassing enough talking to a bunch of freaky cat...things," he said while looking at all of the sphinxes with mild disgust, "The quicker we can get this over with the better."
It took all of Dune's self control not to strike the dragon with her claws, or have her soldiers skewer him with spears. Unfortunately, the repercussions of that were too staggering for her to even consider flowing through with the impulse.
"Very well," She said, "I humbly request that my people be allowed to cross your lands unmolested, and-"
"Hehehe," Garble chuckled, "You wanna be molested," he snickered some more.
"Nay!" Dune Sea said, her ire rising, "I do no-"
"Ha! Now you're neighing like those stupid ponies!" Garble cut her off again, laughing.
"Listen!" Dune Sea roared, slamming her paw on the dais. The sky darkened over her as magical energy swirled around him. Garble looked at the green swirls of energy then flapped his wings and they scattered like dust in the wind.
"Pff, gonna take more than that to scare me," he said with a smirk. Dune Sea simmered in her anger, but gritted her teeth and forced a smile.
"My apologies," she said, giving Garble another graceful bow, "I lost my temper. Please, allow me to make it up to you," She tapped her paw on the ground and a pair of winged sphinxes glided over to them, each carrying a tray with an assortment of beverages. Each one was laced with the chemicals that would open the dragon's mind to her spell, "A beverage of your choice?"
Garble leaned over the glasses and sniffed at each one before taking a drink that was almost the same shade of red as his scales. "This smells good," he said before tossing the drink down his throat in one gulp. He licked his maw and smacked his teeth a couple of times before nodding, "Not bad, not bad."
"I'm glad you like," Dune Sea said as she gazed into his eyes, waiting for the glassy look to come about them. But nothing was happening. She focused harder, but still nothing.
"Gonna keep making flirty eyes?" Garble asked, "Or you gonna let me get back to the lava pool?"
Dune Sea started to feel distressed. This dragon seemed immune to her potion. Or to her magic. To something.
"Uhm...yes," she said, having to maintain face as her plan crumbled around her, "I wish for my people to cross your land without hindrance."
"Sure," Garble said, crossing his arms and grinning, "Just give us your gems."
"Gems?" Dune Sea asked, perplexed.
"Yeah, gems." Garble said, "Hmmm, about a hundred gems per cat thing. Two hundred for the zebras," he said when he glimpsed one" Scratching the bottom of his jaw he grinned and nodded his head "Yeah, that sounds about right. Give us the gems and you'll be allowed across...unmolested." he snickered at the word again before spreading his wings and taking off into the sky. The Empress of the Sphinxes watched him fly away before turning to the wall of soldiers on her left. "Get the Hunters," she demanded, "We must begin finding gemstones."