DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from the Naruto universe. This Natsumi is mine, though. So is Ichika! And little Haruka.

Thinking (+ flashbacks, "Natsumi speaking to Kurama in her mindscape," etc.)

Emphasis

Bijuu, etc. speaking

Bijuu, etc. thinking

Weeks later -

Sakumo raised an eyebrow at his beautiful wife who seemed to be having so much fun behind the bar, his face resting in his palm as he laughed at her. Natsumi could be a real goof. –He didn't "get" her whole bar near-obsession but was glad to see her smiling and enjoying trivia night so much - not to mention how happy he was that she was not only healthy but by his side again. He didn't even have words to express how happy that made him.

Haruka-chan was being babysat by a Genin team while Kakashi and Ichika were with their senseis, practicing nighttime drills and games with a few other young teams. He snorted as he thought about Kakashi's reaction to being on D-ranks: his son was SUCH a brat. Ichika was having a much easier time, often following Kushina-chan to the barrier division or hospital (not to mention that Ichika thought doing things like painting fences was fun, unlike her brother.)

- Although Ichika often used those ranks to prank people, which Kushina only encouraged. Thank God Cheeky was so cute and utterly adorable or he'd have probably been sued by now.

And then there were his friends who were trying to gather scrolls and find a new sensei for Nawaki. Tsunade and Dan had never expected or hoped (and still weren't sure they did: it put such a huge target on the kid) for their child to bring Mokuton back to Konoha but now Nawaki was being shuffled between Minato and Kushina - although most of his training (or rather reading) took place at home. "What a mess that is."

"BINGO," an idiot behind him yelled. Sakumo started to turn toward him but saw Natsu bounce up behind the bar.

"We're not playing bingo," she exclaimed in exasperation. "This is trivia night. Do I have to cut you off? –No more alcohol?!"

"No, ma'am! I was joking!"

"That's what I thought you'd say," Natsumi said - all fired up. Sakumo began chuckling at her and got a dish towel whipped toward his face.

Sakumo loved her to pieces but it had been a few days since she'd finished telling him as much as he could get out of her about her childhood and such. He didn't want to believe any of it at first but God… The more time passed, the more he believed it might be possible. First, he was disgusted by the hate she and her brother got for holding the fox, Kurama, when it had been forced to attack the village immediately after they were born. –It was the same burden Lady Mito took and Lady Mito had been heralded as a hero!

Orochimaru? –Sakumo wasn't sure what to think about what he may or may not have done in Natsu's story but his mate's earlier wariness of his friend was beginning to make more sense now. And he had a feeling she had left some fairly large points regarding him out. Did she think he killed Lord Third? It didn't seem possible but although Natsumi was careful about how she phrased things, Sakumo was a perceptive man.

It sounded like Lord Third had really fucked up in her reality. That was a problem because Lord Third was their Hokage and would be for a long time. Hokage-sama was still pissed off at Dan (and the rest of anyone Sakumo could imagine as a candidate for his job "after that little stunt you lot pulled in Kumo.")

Obito. Don't even get him started on that kid: fair or not! Natsumi might be trying to help and be nice to the kid now but Sakumo wasn't sure he had it in him to do the same.

The Uchiha Clan… But that had happened thanks to Danzo, and Danzo was gone.

He, Dan, Biwako-sama, Dai, Kushina, and Minato, plus both of his precious daughters: all gone or never born? No.

Speaking of Kushina and Minato, Natty really did look like them, didn't she? And God, would either one of the fierce teenagers be pissed if they found out what their children might have gone through as children. That's not going to happen, either. It couldn't: it was impossible. They just all, together, had to get Natsu through this pregnancy safely. First things first.

Tsunade was her Godaime after the Slug Sannin supposedly left Konoha and wandered around aimlessly for years.

"Godaime-sama:" Natsumi's sleepy voice as she called Tsunade that rang repeatedly in his head.

Dear God: Tsunade as Hokage. What a thought.

Madara and this Zetsu-thing that was already targeting his wife and the Nine-tails…

God. What else could he do?

"Kakashi-kun was Rokudaime Hokage, the leader in charge following Tsunade when I was sent here. I look back on it and wonder if he knew about sending me back. Naruto didn't know much about sealing at all, never mind a seal that was so complicated! How else would my idiot, much-loved brother have gotten that seal if not from the Hokage?"

Sakumo's mouth had fallen open. She had really waited to drop that bomb on him, hadn't she? Yes, there were things that were far more important but this idea blew his mind. "Wait. You're saying our Kakashi was strong enough to become Hokage?"

Natsumi bobbed her head. "Rokudaime-sama Was or IS our Kakashi-kun, too, Sakumo, which is weirder than anything. He smells the same, his chakra is the same, I think. I KNOW Yamato-chan's chakra is... I was around him almost every day. And I hadn't even LIKED the Rokudaime very much as I grew up even though he saved me from kidnappers when I was little. And he's my sweet little son? –I know that doesn't sound fair, right, or even possible! At all possible!"

"...Uhm, Sakumo? Are you alright?"

"I don't know. But go on, please. I'll probably have some questions later."

"Okay," she tried to smile and then twisted her hair behind her ears - he could tell she was nervous. "Hatake Kakashi was a huge war hero - in two wars. Even as a young teenager, he was well-known throughout the Elemental Nations. He was an incredible shinobi, a genius, and a prodigy but… Like any of us, he had his problems, I guess… and fairly horrendous luck."

"Where were you?" is what he wanted to ask although that made absolutely no sense, considering what she was telling him. He swallowed and asked the associated question. "Where was I?"

Natsumi looked away from him. "I didn't know you; I'd only known of you. You were a hero, too, Sakumo."

"Huh. Is that right?" He could be wrong but had a strong feeling that she wasn't quite telling the truth. The smell of guilt and anxiety was all over her. "Still. Kakashi-kun? Really?"

Natsumi nodded but didn't look happy about the idea that their son was (for her) and one day could again be Hokage. "We have to protect him, Sake. Kakashi and the girls and the others, of course: that's mandatory but Kakashi-kun's already apprenticed to Minato just like the Rokudaime was as a child; as if history is repeating itself! I will NOT let him be hurt like he was on that team! I am totally…" She broke down in tears and he could only hold her as she'd wept while shuddering in his arms.

"He's MY SON! I can't let them go through what I did! What he did!"

Natsumi came around the bar and snuggled up while whispering in his ear in a sing-song voice. "I heard that Dai and Ami are out on a date tonight."

"No kidding?" Sakumo asked with raised eyebrows. That was some juicy gossip and almost enough to take his mind off of everything. Ha: right. "Good for them," he added with a smile, bummed that he couldn't spread the juicy news out yet if he wanted them to stay together, long-term. (He was a shinobi and that's what they did, dammit.) Ami was at least 10 years older than Maito Dai but was also probably the only woman who could handle all that green youth since the new Chunin's wife passed years ago. "How about we make this an early night?"

"I thought this was our date night, too?" Natsumi asked with a sly grin. She leaned over and whispered in his ear, "I guess what I did at home wasn't very good if you want to go home and need some more action."

She pouted at him but he could see the naughty smirk in it: how she pulled off expressions like that was beyond him. She drove him crazy in the best way. Sakumo slapped her rear when he was fairly sure no one was looking and gnawed on her neck, whispering promises to repay her.

Natsumi guessed that he must be tipsier than she had thought. "But you're so dissatisfied. I'll have to try harder next time!" She covered her mouth and burst into giggles.

The glint in her eye had answered his earlier question about leaving. And how dare she openly smirk at him and flirt so saucily in front of other people. "You did just fine," he said, putting it mildly. "And we came here then you started WORKING," he pretended to complain. Natsumi pouted, even more, making him growl at her. He was going to chew that bottom lip right off of her!

"I'm not allowed to play the games since I co-own the bar. I'm… sorry. I just wanted to have some fun! You suck at non-shinobi-related trivia, by the way." Sakumo slid off his barstool and pulled her close, whispering perverted threats in her ear for flitting around prettily all night. She asked him to wait while flagging down one of her employees to take over hosting the game for her. "Let's get outta here."

Once home, he was all over her. He pulled back and blinked several times before almost swaying as he held her against the wall. "I'm drunk."

"You're hilarious," Natsumi said with a grin. Their lips were all swollen up. Sakumo carried her over to the couch and carefully set her down and then proceeded to fall on top of her lap. He turned over and Natsumi bent over to kiss him some more. "You make me so happy."

Sakumo hummed and stared at her pretty face for a while while he hummed to the twins she was carrying, small though they were. "I've been thinking about all you've told me."

Natsumi's brows pinched. "I know. You've been thinking about it all the time, huh?"

Sakumo shrugged and ran his hands through his hair. "It's a lot to drop on me." He covered her mouth with his hand - figuring that she was going to apologize and beg forgiveness again (as if she ever needed to do that) - and raised an eyebrow at her when she licked and then tried to gnaw on it. "Crazy woman. I was only going to say that I know you didn't mean to deceive me. –I'm still a little pissed off about not knowing things earlier but I love you too much to stay mad at you." He crossed his arms over his chest. "How annoying."

Natsumi smiled and tried to bend down to kiss him.

He smirked and leaned over her on one arm and began unbuttoning her blouse. "I've got drunken plans for you!"

…

When a knock later came on the door, he raised an eyebrow at his blissed-out wife who seemed to be rendered speechless. "Maa, I may have gotten carried away."

"Jerk," she mouthed and then pouted - her lips quivering between that and a soft smile. Her voice was gone.

He pulled out of her and she cried out. "Oh baby, I'm sorry. It's your fault for being so damn pretty and sweet. –-And begging for it, of course." Plus he was getting a vasectomy in the morning so figured he'd go out with a bang. Natsumi seemed to read his mind.

"You'll still be good after tomorrow, Sake," she said in a hoarse whisper. The door then began being pounded on, making her laugh. "That's gotta be Minato and Kashi."

Sakumo nodded and pulled on some pants after he ran into the bathroom and wiped himself down with a towel. His wife was snickering at him for complaining about charlie-horses. He cleaned her up with a cold, wet washcloth and groaned as he started getting riled up again. –Well, it wasn't as if he'd settled down. "You just lay there and be quiet, you bad girl."

"Yes, sir."

"Oh man, I love you!" He leaned over his girl and ravaged her mouth one more time before snarling as Minato broke into his house.

He disappeared and Natsumi began chuckling again as she heard him yelling at her father/little brother.

"What were you doing?" she heard Kakashi ask. He sounded angry. For some reason that was especially funny.

"Nothing… I was just hanging out with your mom tonight. She's asleep."

"I'm a sensor: 'nothing' my ass," Minato hissed. "I could feel you two's chakras doing… things… from outside!"

Natsumi was shaking with laughter before she fell asleep.

…

Sakumo did get a vasectomy the next morning. He was lucky she could (somewhat painfully) walk by then because Sakumo was an understandably big baby about it. She kept a timer going and brought him ice packs as often as she had been directed to after she brought him home.

She was surprised when Minato brought Kakashi back early.

"Um," Minato began uneasily, scratching the back of his head, "Kashi's got some questions. Is anyone else here?"

Natsumi shook her head and brought her husband another ice pack. She was so damn grateful Sakumo had done this for them since with HER, contraceptives weren't working. After this pregnancy, never again! "I just put Haruka-chan down for her nap." She gingerly sat down on another ice pack she'd made and glared at her husband for being a damn animal the night before (although she had loved it.)

"Good." Minato turned to his little masked apprentice and gave him a firm nod.

Kakashi stood up straighter and stuck out his chest before crossing his arms over it as he frowned and huffed at his father. "Why'd you get your wiener cut off?"

Natsumi and Sakumo both gasped. Natty rolled her face into the couch, choking on the cackles she tried to hide.

"I did no such thing! Honestly, Minato: what are you telling my pup?"

Minato stopped glaring at his sister when she finally straightened up. He knew that his face was probably aflame while she was trying desperately to keep a straight one. "I… couldn't explain the procedure. Kakashi-kun had his own ideas about it."

"Maa, I don't want to talk about it," Sakumo whined. Natsumi rolled her eyes while her more than slightly drugged-out husband plugged his ears. She explained how simple the procedure really was - and that it hadn't hurt his father in any way. Kakashi sighed but seemed to accept it and then left with his sensei again.

"Oh my god: our quirky little ones are so entertaining. –I'm so glad I have all of you." She stared at the door and hated that they'd left again. "Sakumo, what are we going to do? We've gotta find Madara and burn him to the ground."

Sakumo stared at her long and hard, trying to focus on her beautiful face. The pain meds he'd been given were REALLY good or maybe even too strong. "I've alerted ANBU to be on the lookout - and all shinobis have a description of the plant-person… 'Zetsu,' you said?"

"Hai. In my opinion, Madara's just an evil bastard too selfish to die. But Zetsu: he's the bad one; the one that Naruto said was poisoning people's minds and making them fight."

Sakumo tapped the arm of his recliner, thinking about that. "I don't think people, especially shinobis, need much of a push to fight, Koi."

Natsumi chewed on her bottom lip. She'd have to agree with that. "I asked Kushina-chan to be on the lookout for a seal. Naruto had one on his hand that was supposed to be the sun but it was supposedly a circle before that idiot Sasuke blew it off. …Sasuke's seal was supposed to look like a dark moon. –I don't know if there is evidence of those seals in any records - or if finding such a thing would even make a difference. Naruto said the Sage of Six Paths gave them to them. They'd both been… dead when he did it." She shivered, hard, once, as she remembered her brother's chakra flickering out at the same time Sasuke's did.

Both of their chakra signatures were so huge but like day and night. Natsumi was positive that she wasn't the only sensor on the battlefield who was nearly overcome when it happened. It was like all hope was lost.

And I'd destroyed everything in my wake, completely losing it, trying to get to Naruto

"Natsumi, STOP," Tsunade screamed, kicking her straight in the solar plexus and sending her skidding back

And then Naruto's chakra was back, burning brighter than the sun - and so was that prick, Sasuke's

Natsumi pointed at the Zetsu thing that had been laughing at her. "You," Natsumi grunted out, wiping the blood from her chin. "I'm going to kill you." Without using hand seals for the first time, she teleported herself in front of him and dug two Rasengans into his white body. She jumped back in horror as a man fell out of the Zetsu "case" he was in. She cradled him in her arms. "Sensei!"

Tenzo sensei had been inside the Zetsu! She checked for a pulse but could feel his chakra, although it was disturbed. "Tenzo, wake up! Please, wake up: not is NOT THE TIME!"

.

Sakumo had nodded but almost fell asleep. "Uzushio. –Our best bet, if all this is real, is to look for something like that in the ruins of Uzushio. Once things calm down and…"

Natsumi waited for more but knew she understood what he meant - and allowed him to sleep.
–As soon as it was safe, they'd find those seals and end that thing!

–Or just find Madara and burn him to dust, throwing all evidence that he ever existed into the ocean before doing the same with Zetsu.

She covered him up with a blanket and kissed his forehead. "Thank you, Sake."

.

A few weeks later, fairly late in the evening, a knock and woof from the front door got the family's attention. Natsumi opened the door and couldn't believe her eyes. "HI! What um… do we have here? Oh! Sorry! Please come in." She held the door open as Jiraiya waltzed in with his three very thin Ame students - still in as-thin raincoats despite the cold outside - and behind them? Orochimaru was holding a tiny baby.

"Who is this?!" Natsumi asked, cooing over the little baby. She ushered them all in front of the fire and as badly as she wanted to get the goods on what was going on, she knew those kids needed food and rest. She made four clones: it was still safe to do so right now. One clone ran off to get blankets while the rest helped the kids, Sannins, or with warming up food. The poor kids were staggering forward, almost running into each other. Sakumo had taken everyone's coats and Haruka ran straight over and held her arms out for Konan.

Surprisingly, the blue-haired girl picked her up while both of the other teens groaned - although they were smiling. "What a big, pretty girl you are," Konan said with a smile.

"Yo cold," Haruka said rather obviously. "Yo gonna get sick!"

Jiraiya interrupted the cuteness as Natsumi's clone covered the kids in warm blankets. "We're sorry to bother you guys but we wanted to see if we could uh… Borrow some baby stuff? I know you'll need it again soon but this chibi: we don't know what to do with it!"

Orochimaru scoffed at his partner. "I do know what to do with a baby, Jiraiya: a baby GIRL, I'll remind you. And so do you." He cleared his throat. "Hatake Sakumo, Natsumi-chan, Kakashi-kun, Fairy-girl (Ichika shrieked and put her fists on her hips,) and the lovely Haruka-chan; these are Jiraiya's students, Nagato-kun, Konan-chan, and Yahiko-kun." He looked down and raised an eyebrow at Kakashi who was petting their awful dog. "And that's Chibi."

"OI," Ichika had shouted in outrage, "why does w-Riki-chan getsda titwe 'woveLLy' but I'm a faiwy? I'm not a faiwy!"

Natsumi's clone grabbed her angry pink ball of moonlight and dragged her to help out in the kitchen while her original gushed at the teenagers. "It's lovely to meet you all! And who's the very little one?"

"She ain't got an official name yet," Yahiko said. "Konan-chan found her and we've been calling her Uzu. She got sick and umm…"

"We didn't know what to do," Nagato said shyly.

"Orochimaru-sama saved Uzu-chan's life."

Natsumi sat down at the kotatsu and swallowed the lump in her throat. She couldn't believe that she was looking at these three, in the flesh. And they're so young! They were older than Kakashi and Ichika but still! It was hard to tell how old they were but she thought they were younger than Minato. "'Uzu?' That's a lovely name."

Orochimaru raised an eyebrow at her and couldn't say how much he appreciated the way she leaned into him and rubbed his back: a reward for saving the babe, he assumed. Natsumi was his business partner and very good friend. Her being afraid of him had bothered him terribly. "You've recovered well. The teens were trying to help this one survive after finding her but had no way to properly feed her."

Natsumi gasped. "You had Oroumila with you!"

"I did," Orochimaru said with a smirk. "Jiraiya's students are also orphans but their parents fled Uzushio before her downfall."

Natsumi sucked in a breath. Her eyes teared up: she hadn't known that. "Before I married Sakumo, I was known as Uzumaki Natsumi." The kids all sat up a little straighter or gasped. "Welcome to Konoha! Are your families really from Uzushio?" Three eager nods. She broke out with a huge smile and gathered her shocked children. "Puppies, these are… I think these may very well be your cousins!"

Sakumo turned toward the kitchen and wiped his face. He wished so much that his brother was here to see this. "A solitary wolf dies hungry, alone, and worse: lonely, Sakumo. Don't let that happen to you, okay, otouto?"

Our pack just kept getting bigger, Daichi. No need to worry about me, anymore.
–Rest well, Aniki.

"You okay?" Natsumi asked moments later as she ran her hands over his muscular upper arms and shoulders.

"I'm great, babe. –Happier than you can imagine."

"Not happier than me! I love you," she whispered and then stood on her toes to give him a kiss.

"Gah! NO KISHING in dere!"

"Mou, Cheeky-chan, be nice!"

.

"Okay, you three," Sakumo said firmly two months later, "we are going to check out The Farm and see what we'll need there. You are to stay with us the entire time, alright?" His pups all nodded. He felt a smile tug at his lips: Haruka-chan had taken to constantly imitating her older brother to a tee. They both had their hands in their pockets and probably looked bored as hell to anyone else, but Sakumo could see the sparkle in their dark eyes.

It was freaking adorable!

Kakashi huffed and rolled his eyes and then Haruka-chan did the same thing. The Hatake heir grinned underneath his mask, glad that Haruka liked him more than Cheeky. He was far more "hip and cool" than her so it was understandable.

Ichika thought they were both ridiculous.

Sakumo tossed his ponytail behind him again after taking the large scroll off his back. "Haruka's too little to sign the summoning contract but… Ugh: you two are old enough, I guess."

"YOSH!"

"Calm down," Sakumo ordered as he rolled out the canine summoning scroll. "This is serious business, pups! ...Okay. These are the hand seals you'll need to use: Boar → Dog → Bird → Monkey → Ram. Let's see you do them." He watched as his twins did them perfectly and in sync a few times. "Very good. Now you have to sign in blood. –Damnit, Kakashi!" Kakashi had opened up his little hand deeply with a kunai before he could finish telling him what to do. "Alright, sign in blood, son." He grabbed a towel (he always kept one on him ever since Natsumi had the twins) to clean him up but his son's self-made wound was healing very quickly.

Kakashi clicked his tongue. His mother had let out a shriek and was now sniffling behind him. He was glad she wouldn't have more puppies after this. His Okaa-san was being kind of a whack job lately! He signed his name, made a handprint, got a nod from his father, and then carefully went through the hand seals before pressing his palm to the cold, hard ground, just like his parents did so often. "Kuchiyose no Jutsu," he yelled as he pushed his chakra downward.

A big puppy appeared in a poof of smoke. "Uh, hi! I'm Hatake Kakashi," he bowed, "please take care of me."

"Woof!"

Pakkun came over and jumped on the really big puppy. "Hey," Kakashi scolded, "don't do that!"

Natsumi sucked in a pained breath of air and shook the surprise off. She knew this gigantic, black puppy. That's Bull. Pakkun wasn't a normal summon, or maybe he just lived with him but he and Mamma Dog never left the compound (or explained how that was possible.) She remembered being shocked one day when the tiny half-pug, half-corgi pup and Kakashi ran up to her, the pug running circles around him and falling down/rolling repeatedly.

"Pak! Pak-Pak!"

It was the first time Natsumi had heard him bark like that.

Kakashi looked up at his mother; he was so excited. She and Momma Dog had said this one could be his shortly after he was born. "I'm gonna call him 'Pak-kun!"

Natsumi smiled although Kakashi noticed that it was pinched. "That's wonderful, honey. And a great name for a handsome boy I know will be a great ninken!"

"Now you have two, sweetheart." Bull was sniffing all over his new summoner while Kakashi giggled.

"He's so big!"

"Kushiyosha no Jushhu!"

Natsumi's mouth fell open seconds later. Her oldest daughter had just summoned a silver wolf pup who looked completely bewildered.

"Yes!" Sakumo tossed Ichika into the air before catching her; he was so excited (and had earlier been just a little disappointed that Kakashi wanted to summon "dog-puppies" rather than a "wolf pup" as they called them,) and was pleased that Natsumi went to her son and asked for introductions. He began assuring the wolf pup that she was safe.

As had been usual lately, Haruka-chan was in the middle of things, having followed Kakashi's example, bowing to the black ninken droolpuss and everything.

"I wanna puppy," Haruka whined a while later.

"The Farm has LOTS of pups, chibi-chan," Sakumo assured her. After re-securing the scroll inside the house, he led his pack and their new members back to the forest before summoning Taro and asking him to reverse-summon them. He didn't want Natsumi to use any more of her chakra than she already had. A few moments later, he grabbed Natsumi who had almost fallen down after they appeared in the ninken and wolf's homeworld. "Careful, Koi."

"Oh, my goodness." Natsumi knew her eyes were just as wide as her pups were. As far as the eye could see, there was beautiful, rolling farmland - and dogs and wolves were EVERYWHERE! "It's like a paradise," she breathed before somewhat waddling off toward one particularly large chakra signature - it was a ninken she'd summoned only once. She found him within a few minutes. He was in an extremely tall barn. "Master Ninken! Please forgive me for not summoning you to THANK you for what you did for me and my mate! I'm Hatake Natsumi and you may have saved my husband's life. I only wish I had been conscious to see it! I am forever indebted to you."

"Whoa!"
"He DOES have three heads!"
"He gots no eyeball on his tail, though," Haruka added in disappointment. She really wanted to see that extra eyeball and knew that Kashi did, too. "Aniki says yo an alien dog."

"Oh, God. –Please forgive this one," Sakumo said with a bow, (and pushing the three kids' backs down to do the same.) He wished that he'd been able to put this meeting off a little longer. He never knew what bit of the twins' nonsense would come out of his younger daughter's mouth. "I'm Hatake Sakumo and these are our pups, Kakashi-kun, Ichika-chan - we call her 'Cheeky', and Haruka-chan - who also goes by 'Riki,' or 'Ruka,'" he added while palming each silvery head as he introduced them.

The middle head of the giant dog had only bobbed but looked happy. The one on the right seemed excited and drooly while the other one was sleeping, it seemed.

"With your permission, sir, I'd like my mate to stay here when she gives birth to our pups. We'll need to bring in some medical assistance and trusted personnel that are not summoners, however. It's… important." My wife may be being hunted.

"That's fine," the middle head said. "We are Cerberus. It may seem a rather obvious name to those in the human realm but it is ours and was ours first." He looked at Natsumi and smirked at her. "Your mate is quite the warrior, Natsumi-chan. He fought well. I had to do very little but make my presence known." The ninken boss kneeled until their eyes were at the same level. "I have worried about you since that day. I am glad you continue to live."

Natsumi let out a sob and hugged and smooched all three of his big heads until Sakumo dragged her back.

"Forgive her, sir. Pregnancy is making her a little…" He would not say "nuts." He thought nuts but did not say nuts. "Maa," Sakumo gasped a moment later, all thoughts of whatever he was going to say leaving his mind as his eyebrows rose into his hairline. His deceased brother's familiar approached him. "Kenzo…"

"So. It seems the Hatake pack lives on. Welcome, Okami. Sakumo-kun: You are late!"

I was told you'd died, too. Sakumo would not cry in front of his pack but he sure felt like it: this was his older brother's longest companion! "Maa, maa S-sorry, Kenzo. I guess… I guess I got lost on the long road of life!"

Natsumi had heard that bullshit excuse so often in her younger years that she felt her heart begin to pound as she fisted her hands and bit her lips. I cannot believe you said that!

"Kaa-chan, yo hair's going crazy and stickin' out in all diwections. Yo scary," Haruka commented idly, as if her mother didn't look like she was going to murder someone right now.

Natsumi slumped: this was her life and she loved it but her family was going to drive her batty. "I know, Rika-chan, I know…"

.

If she wasn't mistaken, Cerberus was gesturing for her to go with him. Natsumi followed and he went around in circles a few times before laying in the grass just outside of the barn. Natsumi sat down in a seiza position in front of him. "Is there something I can do for you, my Lord?"

"I have been curious since meeting you on the Kumo battlefield. You smell very slightly of the toads."

Natsumi smiled and decided not to be offended by that. "My twin brother was a toad summoner. –It's a long story." He cocked his head, which turned all three of them in a cute direction despite how fierce he looked.

"It didn't take, I assume?" His summoner didn't understand. "You couldn't summon toads because you have always been ours."

Natsumi huffed out a laugh and had to agree. "I guess that makes sense. My… brother's godfather had me sign the toad summoning contract although I didn't want to. The key to the seal holding my partner, Kurama," she went on, pressing her hand to her abdomen, "was in the toad's possession." She let out a wistful sigh. "When I couldn't summon the toads, he threw me off a cliff." And I nearly died before eight of Kurama's tails came out to say no to that - and to raze the continent, had it not been for my father's chakra imprint stopping him. "Jiraiya said my name disappeared from the contract and we never bothered with it again."

"You use the Kyuubi's name and call him a partner."

"I do," Natsu said proudly. "You know Kurama as well? Do you want to talk to him?" This day just keeps getting more exciting!

"Uh, no thanks." Cerberus knew that Kurama was a surly, foul-mouthed trickster during the best of times, so no. "Are you responsible for the rifts in time?" Judging from the change in his summoner's expression, she was. "I have known you before and I had felt that I was to know you again." His tail beat on the ground a few times, shaking the earth. "I was glad to finally meet you that day, Hatake Natsumi."

Sakumo left the barn with his brother's (reincarnated: was that the right word for it?) familiar - and found his wife giving the Hound Boss belly rubs. Kenzo flopped over and wanted some, too.

"All good dogs go to heaven, Sakumo! And all dogs are good; that's why we're all here. It's as close to heaven as you can get, ne?"

God, did that give him a lot to think about. If he didn't already have silver hair, he was sure it would be turning gray at this point.

...

Two hours later Kakashi had rounded up what he was determined to call his pack: a group of dogs and puppies, most of which had said they used to be "rescue dogs" who all wished to go home with them along with the puppy he'd decided to name "Bull" since he was some kind of insanely large bulldog, and little Pakkun. Ichika was determined to bring her summons back but that meant bringing its whole family with her.

"As soon as we get back, let's go to the butcher's shop and get you all some treats," Natsumi chirped. The pups and ninken cheered that while Sakumo covered his face.

"So expensive," he bemoaned.

"Ha! I bet you're glad I own the bar and half the patent on the baby formula now!"

"'Baby formula,' the twins repeated, sniggering.

"Wike to make babies," Haruka snarked, hoping to impress her big brother with her great wit. "Kaa-chan's a baby factowy; she don' need no fowmula!"

"Haruka!"

The twins were beside themselves with laughter.

"You realize all that smart-ass comes from you, don't ya, doll?" Kenzo asked. "Sakumo was never much of a smart-ass, so it has to come from the bitch."

Natsumi glared at the ninken Sakumo had decided to bring home. "You need an attitude adjustment, you little misogynist. And don't you ever call me that!"

Kenzo looked up at Sakumo. "Are you going to let her talk to me like that?!"

Natsumi's hair flew out in all directions "Let me?!"

Sakumo gritted his teeth and took a wise step back, having forgotten that his brother once had some outdated ideas about kunoichis and women in general before Tsunade set him painfully straight. "She can say whatever she likes, Kenzo. And you will NOT speak to women, and especially not Natsumi, like that."

The grey wolf cocked his head. "Well, that's no fun."

Sakumo pulled him back. "Are you trying to die again?!"