Kenzi shored another long blonde lock into a curl, leaving Tamsin's head almost entirely encased in rollers. "This will have you looking like Veronica Lake in no time."
"Who's that again?" Tamsin asked, spying a look at herself in one of the room's ornate mirrors.
"Only an acting goddess. You'd think an immortal would know a bit more about the Golden Age of Hollywood."
Tamsin shrugged. "I was a little busy that decade. There really is nothing like killing Nazis. I almost feel sorry for your generation. What do you get to kill? Al Qaeda? Please."
Kenzi finished, not sure what to say. Tamsin's hair was all up in rollers, which made her slightly less intimidating, but also kinda like Bruce Willis at the end of an action movie? All bloody and battle-damaged, in terms of hair, but also up to Level 50, so Bruce/Tamsin could kill a guy with one quip.
"Ah," Tamsin said, noticing they were through. She looked at herself in the mirror and nodded sharply. "You think Bo likes curls?"
"I have no idea what Bo likes."
"You're right. She is something of a 'All Of The Above' type." Tamsin looked at her with widened eyes. "Makes me wonder why she never went in for you, sweet thing."
"I'm not gay."
"Does that really count for anything? With Bo? C'mon, Kenzi. What's the average cock have on all that?"
"She's my friend," Kenzi protested. "Anyway, what about you and… Precious?"
"What about us?" Tamsin asked innocently, going to the icebox for a complimentary drink.
Kenzi crossed her arms and legs, settling back against the bed's headboard. "How can you own a slave? I mean, don't you Fae ever watch Django Unchained and think, 'hey, I'm Leonardo DiCaprio'?"
Tamsin scrunched her nose at Kenzi. "It's a bit more complicated than that. Take Lauren—your second mommy. She volunteered for a life of servitude in exchange for Fae goodies."
"Yeah, only because the Ash made her an offer she couldn't refuse."
That hit home. Tamsin scowled. "Yes, well, that's the exception that proves the rule. Most pets get a completely fair exchange, considering their rather tiny lifespan. Besides, that was Light Fae. You can't hold me responsible for what that pack of hypocrites do. The Morrigan always gives fair price."
"Yeah, okay—why would anyone want to be some Fae's butt monkey?"
Tamsin settled heavily into an armchair and patted a knee with her free hand. Kenzi looked at it suspiciously.
"Come here," Tamsin reiterated. "I want to return the favor and comb your hair. It really is pretty nice, once you get past the oil spill."
Kenzi groaned and went to submit to Tamsin's babying. Bo had better be enjoying her swinging. There should be butt stuff, at least.
She sat down on the floor, with her legs folded under her, and felt Tamsin sweetly gather up her hair to pet it with her fingers, twisting it around her knuckles and making the occasional little scratch with her nails. It felt a little nice, which was the only reason Kenzi didn't pull out her smartphone and check Denny's twitter feed.
"Do you know what a pilot fish is?" Tamsin asked, reaching for an ivory comb on the dresser.
"Dude, I've watched every Shark Week for the last decade. I know what a pilot fish is."
"The shark," Tamsin continued over her objection, running the comb gently through Kenzi's hair, "is an apex predator. Everything in the sea is food to it. Except the little pilot fish. Why? Because the pilot fish has evolved to eat the parasites that afflict the shark. And so, the shark returns the favor by protecting the pilot fish from predators. A mutually beneficial relationship."
"And what does Precious get out of your little symbiosis? Not getting eaten? I'd prefer a 401(k)."
Tamsin made a long-suffering groan. She pulled hard at a tangle, making Kenzi wince in pain before the combing continued. "You know, in school, I wrote a dissertation on that. It was my theory that, although humans were unaware of our existence for the most part, Mother Nature was. And like all ecosystems, it sought a balance between our predation and your, well… deliciousness. And so, some of you humans evolved to serve us. To enjoy it, mind you. And as much as you talk about the dignity of man and freedom and liberty and the Fourth of July… deep down, you love having someone take care of you. It's in your blood."
"Not in mine," Kenzi protested. "I'm totes independent. Bo doesn't tell me what to do."
"But you would like it if she did? Just a little bit? Let's face it, Kenzi." As if Tamsin were saying nothing more important than Britney Spears lyrics, she picked up a section of Kenzi's hair and ran the comb down it until the lock of hair lay smooth as silk in her hand. All the while lecturing in a cool, calm voice. "Before Bo met you, you were a hot mess. If it weren't for her, you'd be a video on Unsolved Mysteries. She gave you purpose in life. She gave you direction. Because of her, you can be as irresponsible as you like, knowing she'll always be there to swoop in and make everything better. She's your master, Kenzi. You're her pet." Tamsin let Kenzi's hair slip through her fingers, back to her scalp. "It's a shame she's such a bad master, though."
Kenzi really wanted to swivel her head around, like, 180 degrees, Linda Blair style, but Tamsin was combing another section of her hair. So she just tilted her head backward to look up at Tamsin with angry eyes. "Even if Bo were my master, which she isn't, she'd be a great master!"
Tamsin was finished with Kenzi's hair, so she ran her nails through it, tickling her scalp. Kenzi closed her eyes, trying to enter a Zen state where she wouldn't give any sign of how good it felt. It was like when Bo had massaged her scalp the other day, only Tamsin committed to it somehow, some kind of possessiveness in her touch that made it feel extra-special. Bitch.
"Bo," Tamsin said smugly, tugging a little on Kenzi's long locks, "lets you get away with almost everything. Sometimes she ignores you, sometimes she smothers you, always she spoils you. You're begging for her to play with you the way you need to be played with, but she doesn't even notice. She lets you run off the leash at every opportunity, with barely even a collar to let other Fae know you've been claimed. You'd be so much happier if you just admitted what you both want from your 'friendship'. Her on top. You on bottom."
"That's… that's not…" A soft breathiness had entered Kenzi's voice. Those fingers in her hair felt so nice, and the comb was lying on the dresser. There was nothing to Tamsin's touch now but pure lust.
"I'll prove it to you," Tamsin whispered. "Take my shoes off."
Kenzi looked down. Tamsin was wearing a pair of wedge boots laced up to her knees. Nonetheless, Kenzi diligently bent to do as Tamsin had asked her. Her fingers manipulated the tiny laces out of their holes like she was playing a Game Boy, finally loosening the boots enough to slide off. Underneath, Tamsin wore nothing but silk stockings. Her toenails were painted bright red, bright enough to shine through the dark silk.
Kenzi didn't know why she was doing this. Just to be nice, she thought. Tamsin had been nice to her, after all, so she could just return the favor. Return the favor and that would be it.
"Very nice," Tamsin said, and it did feel good to hear some actual approval from Tamsin instead of the usual snide… snideness. "Now could you rub my feet? I'd like it a lot if you rubbed my feet."
It had felt really good to have her hair combed. That was the only reason Kenzi took hold of Tamsin's left foot and rubbed it as gently as she could, as if she were polishing glass. It was just the equivalent of a nice scalp massage, so they were even. Though maybe if she did the other foot, they'd be uneven again, and Tamsin would comb her hair some more. That would be nice.
"Good human," Tamsin breathed, as Kenzi lowered her foot to the ground and picked up the other one. She delicately traced the tendons before digging in with her thumbs. Poor Tamsin. She'd probably been on her feet all day. And then she'd been so nice, to Bo, to Kenzi, and if Kenzi just did as Tamsin told her, she'd keep being nice. Maybe even nicer.
"Now why don't you kiss my foot?" Tamsin asked. "Why don't you suck on Mommy's toes a little too?"
Kenzi blinked. Why was she touching Tamsin's foot? Why was Tamsin telling her to kiss her foot? What the hell was going on?
"What are you doing to me?" she demanded, dropping Tamsin's foot and scooting back.
"Just what Bo does to you. A little more honestly, perhaps…"
"No!" Kenzi protested, rocking forward on her ass, now counting off on her fingers like she was marshalling arguments. "Bo is nice and she loves me and she would never, ever ask me to kiss her foot or her ass or whatever sick shit you do with your goddamn pets!"
Tamsin's brow furrowed in displeasure. She slipped her boots back on. "Bad human. Very bad human!"
"Don't talk to me like that!" Kenzi said insistently, wondering why her heart was quickening, her system flooding with adrenaline. Tamsin had no right to say that. She was a good human. After all, Bo liked her well enough, didn't she? Not that what Bo thought about her mattered, though it did matter, of course, but not like that… whatever that was.
"Bad humans don't get petted," Tamsin said emphatically. "Say you're sorry right now or you won't get petted!"
Kenzi almost did—she didn't know why, but Tamsin browbeating her scared her on a level she wasn't used to. She was almost comfortable with Fae trying to eat her and wear her skin, but Tamsin was her friend. Her friends should like her, shouldn't they? That wasn't a Fae thing, that was the way she was with humans too. If Bo told her to say she was sorry, she would apologize, right?
Nothing was making any sense. She'd liked being petted, she had, but who cared if she never got petted again? It definitely wasn't good enough reason to kowtow to this bitch.
Tamsin scowled at her so hard, Kenzi thought she was going all Valkyrie for a moment. "You're such a bad human. No wonder Bo's ditching you for her little lab rat. I bet Lauren's a much better pet than you. I bet she comes right when she's called."
Kenzi tried to say that it wasn't true, that Bo would never leave her (so what if Bo had spent a lot of time with Lauren back when Bo/Lauren was on, not even noticing Kenzi had been all kitsune-y at the time?). She tried to, but all that came out was a little whimper. She'd displeased Tamsin; what if she displeased Bo next? What if Bo yelled at her too?
"Take off your clothes right now!" Tamsin demanded.
Kenzi's hands darted to the hem of her shirt before she stopped herself. No, she said to herself. No way she was signing up for Mistress Tamsin's Discount Bondage or whatever the hell this was. And she didn't give a shit if Tamsin didn't like it, because Bo would always like her, especially when she stood up for herself.
Tamsin broke into a smirk. "You want to. I can tell. My Precious does too. He's a bad human too, just to get me to yell at him. His cock gets so hard when I yell at him. Just like your nipples, I bet. If only I could do something about that. Nah…" Tamsin trailed off, her head tilted to the side like she was watching something else. "I hear Lauren's letting Bo fuck whoever she wants on the downlow. Who knows how long it is until our succubus has herself a regular harem? I don't think she'll have much time for you then. Maybe she'll give you to me. You're cute when you're angry, after all. I think I'd like snuggling with you at the end of a long day." Tamsin stood, towering over Kenzi, still not looking at her. "I wonder what's going to ruin your little civil union first: the fact that she wants to fuck you or the fact that she won't."
Tamsin's body swiveled to where her head was turned, and she walked to the door. Opening it just as Bo arrived.
Long experience had allowed Bo to do a good job of tidying herself up, but with her hair, there was no hiding how coital things had gotten. It was tangled up like barbed wire, plastered to her neck with sweat, the lowest strands of it touching the valley of her cleavage. Tamsin eyed her up and down before smirking magnanimously.
"Well, at least someone had fun."
"I think I could come around on the leashes," Bo conceded, dropping into a chair. "How was Kenzi?"
Kenzi didn't like that, being talked about in the third-person. Maybe Bo just hadn't seen her yet, but still—it was way too much like Tamsin had been babysitting while Mommy went out to have a social life.
"I'm fine, thanks," she said sarcastically.
"She is fine," Tamsin agreed, giving Kenzi the same physical look she had Bo. "T-T-F-N."
She kicked the door shut behind her.
Bo gave Kenzi a look, her face drawn in mild concern that Kenzi realized was her 'sidekick look.' "What was that all about?"
"Nothing. Tamsin being Tamsin." Kenzi got up just to sit back down. She realized too late it was in Tamsin's armchair. The warmth of the woman permeated Kenzi's body. "Bo? You wouldn't—I mean, you like having me as a roommate, right?"
"Of course!" Bo laughed. "You don't smell my underwear, watch me sleeping, or steal my boyfriends. And if you did, you'd probably let me watch."
"Why would you want to watch me smell your underwear?" Kenzi asked, before realizing it was a sex joke. Duh. "Never mind. I'm being stupid. Stupid human…"
"Did Tamsin say something to you?" Bo insisted.
Kenzi got up, this time to pace around. "She is such a psycho. She thinks people just can't be friends or something! Like you can't be friends with me without wanting to do me or I can't be friends with you or something. Geez! Psycho!"
"Come on, just because I'm a succubus, doesn't mean everyone I meet is on the menu."
"That's not it…" Kenzi paced more frantically. She caught her reflection in a super-glazed vase on the endtable and didn't like the look of her—anything. Tamsin had gotten her all sweaty. "It's like, you're a Fae, I'm a human, so of course I'm your pet!"
"You're my friend," Bo said calmly.
"I know, right? Humans and Fae can be friends! I bet Hale and Dyson have lots of human friends, don't they?" Kenzi stopped to point at Bo. "Friends who aren't pets!"
"Well, I've never asked them…"
"Why haven't you?" Kenzi demanded.
"I don't know… they work at the police station, I'm sure they have work buddies or…" Bo watched Kenzi go back to pacing. "C'mon, Kenz, they're friends with you."
"Yes, but you claimed me! How do I know that if I wasn't your pet, Hale wouldn't go—'oh, look, a cute little human with a great fashion sense, better adopt her, she can't possibly take care of herself without some big strong Fae to look out for her!'" Kenzi threw her hands out, meaning to emphasize her point, but her left hand collided with the vase. It teetered for a moment, before crashing to the ground.
Bo winced at the noise. Kenzi instantly snapped out of rant mode, mild with apology.
"I didn't mean that!" she said, as if that would cause the vase to apologetically fix itself.
"It's alright," Bo assured her. "Just… sit down and stay put so you don't cut yourself. I'll go get something to clean this up."
It wasn't until Bo left that Kenzi realized how Bo had talked to her—like her babysitter used to back when she was being potty-trained. Still, she brought her legs up to her chest and sat in place. If Bo hadn't given her such a clear instruction, there was every chance she might've stepped on a shard and cut herself right through her slippers.
Bo caught up to Tamsin in the lobby, just as the servants were mopping up the evening's footprints, slime trails, and sundry bodily fluids. Upon seeing their confrontation, the humans took their cue to discreetly fade away.
"What the hell did you say to her?"
"You mean your bestie isn't sharing?" Tamsin retorted, mock-concerned. She tapped her chin sardonically. "That sounds like trouble in paradise…"
"Quit screwing around!" Bo slapped Tamsin's hand away from her face. "Tell me what happened. And if you hurt her, I swear to whatever cray-cray god Fae worship, I will go ape-shit on you."
Tamsin folded her arms with a huff. "I just told her the truth. She's not being a very good human for you and you're not being a very good master for her. Just watching out for you, sorority sis."
For a moment, Bo's jaw threatened to drop. "I am not Kenzi's master!"
"So you two keep telling me. Be honest, though. Who takes care of who in your little clubhouse?"
"Kenzi has had my back plenty. When Dyson left me, when Lauren left me, Kenzi was my only constant."
"Oh, right, emotional support. That's not boring… why don't you just get a dog? Oh, wait, you did."
"She," Bo crept into Tamsin's personal space, never taking her eyes off the Valkyrie's, "is not," their foreheads met, " a pet."
"Because you don't treat her like one."
"That's right, I don't."
"But she is." Shaking her head, Tamsin circled the room. She came to a dollhouse, incongruously set up on an oaken table. Played with a Barbie with one hand. "She's not your equal, succubus. The more you try to force her into that round hole, the worse off your square peg will be. She's human, you're Fae. Try acting like it for a change."
"If being Fae means treating people who are different like they're inferior, I'd rather go back to being human."
"You were never human!" Tamsin flicked the Barbie away in exasperation. "That was never an option! You can't just—pretend you and Kenzi are the same species! It'll mess you both up."
Bo threw up her hands in an I-give-up gesture, going to an abandoned drink cart to see what was on tap. "The only thing messing Kenzi up is you. Leave her alone."
"Really? Cuz how's that working out for you?"
Bo looked back at the intent Tamsin as she poured, her eyes broadcasting 'this had better be good'.
"You're the succubus. When was the last time your little Commie had some good old-fashioned missionary position?"
"I don't know—Nate, I guess. She hasn't had much time for dating. That's on me."
"And why didn't things work out with 'Nate'?"
Bo slugged back her drink, knowing Tamsin was just going to love this. "I was going through some things. Kenzi thought she needed to focus on me. But that doesn't mean—"
Tamsin strutted toward Bo like a linebacker charge, barely even slowing until they were a handspan apart. "You were more important to her than her fellow human. Than her own mating drive. What does that tell you?"
"It tells me she's a damn good friend."
Tamsin swiped Bo's drink away. Bo had numb fingers, despite everything. "Come off it. You're a succubus. You must know Kenzi's in her sexual prime… all hormones and naughty thoughts. And instead of shacking up with some nice young thing her own species, she's focused on you. She's counting on you to scratch her itch, Bo. Because that's how it works between us. Fae. Human. We tend their needs, they tend ours."
"The only need I have is for a good friend," Bo replied. Unhappily, she watched Tamsin drink. "Stay away from her. Stay away from us."
Tamsin examined her empty glass, as if had suddenly become much more fascinating than Bo. "Come see me when you're done playing Jane Goodall. I'm very good at training humans. Even better at training succubi."