Well, this was certainly a quick update! Hopefully I can keep up this pace for the rest of the story! (But I doubt it...)
Warnings: Direct quotations from volume 15 in this chapter, and the content is a little heavier.
Disclaimer: Oh yes. I own Fruits Basket. /sarcasm
Repeating the Past
A Lack of Control
"Wow, Yun-Yun."
Yuki and Manabe stood in front of Yuki's house, and Nabe's mouth was hanging rudely open as he stared ahead.
"Cool place," Nabe said, whistling in approval. He grinned. "But of course Yun-Yun the princess would have such a big home as her castle."
Manabe's protests and yelps of pain fell on deaf ears as Yuki, eyebrows furrowed in angry frustration, pulled The Idiot along by the ear. So instead, The Idiot changed his plan of action to a steady cry of, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" until they finally got inside and Yuki relinquished Manabe's poor, bruised ear.
"Jeez, Yun-Yun. You have no mercy," Manabe slurred, pouting and rubbing his sore ear as they both removed their shoes in the hallway.
"Well it would do you some good to realize I'm not a girl," Yuki retorted, a sort of close-eyed "dignity-at-all-times" expression plastered on his face, his back deliberately facing his friend.
"Hey, it's not like I can help it." The rat opened his eyes and glowered at the opposite wall, the mischief in Manabe's tone not exactly calming his nerves. In fact, he might have turned and struck when he felt a hand snaking seductively down his arm had Manabe's lips not appeared beside his ear a moment later. "You are," came Manabe's hushed voice, his hand reaching Yuki's, his fingertips barely tracing along the skin, "really cute like a girl, after all."
Yuki, who had temporarily forgotten how to think as he felt warm breath flitted across his ear and an equally warm hand drawing faint lines against his prickling skin, was saved as Shigure's voice broke through his (lack of) thoughts.
"Yuki-kun, is that you?" the dog called from the living room. "Is someone with you?"
"Yeah!" Yuki called, pulling away from Manabe with the intention of simply forgetting about whatever The Idiot had been trying to do. But, when he turned to tell Manabe to follow him, he was captured immediately in the other's stare. Manabe's eyes were not quite cold; in fact, they might have been very inviting had they not been so distant with an emotion that Yuki thought he might have recognized if he hadn't forcibly pulled away from his gaze and walked towards the living room.
"Hello, Yuki-kun," Shigure said cheerfully. "Who's your friend?"
"I'm home," Yuki said, resituating his bag on his other shoulder and gesturing to Nabe. "This is Kakeru Manabe. He's the vice president at our school."
"It's a pleasure to meet you," Manabe said, politely giving the slightest bow. "Are you Yuki-kun's father?"
"I'm pleased to finally meet you as well, Kakeru-kun. But no, I am Shigure Sohma, Yuki-kun's cousin." Yuki felt Manabe's eyes on him and turned slightly to see the other boy shooting him a questioning glance. "Well, in any case, I insist you make yourself at home." Shigure smiled and Manabe smiled back.
"Thank you very much, Sohma-san," Manabe said, bowing again.
"We'll be in my room," Yuki said before turning to leave.
Before the two boys opened the door, Shigure spoke tonelessly, "Oh, and Yuki-kun, I'm going to see Akito today." At the head of the family's name, Yuki automatically tensed. "He wanted me to bring you, but if you have a friend staying over, you're excused."
All Yuki could do was stand, his hand on the doorknob, frigid with shock at the memory that suddenly pressed in his mind.
"Ahh…mm, Akito," the rat moaned. He knew it was wrong, it was no less than terrible… but when Akito touched him… when he whispered naughty words into his ear… Yuki wanted more; he wanted to feel more of that guilty pleasure that overwhelmed his senses and elated him to the point where he was sure the only thing still anchoring him to earth was Akito's hands over his naked skin…
"Yuki?"
Manabe's voice managed to work itself into Yuki's mind, and the rat turned to see Nabe had placed a hand on his trembling shoulder, the other boy's features laced with worry. "Yuki, are you alright?" The rat's head tilted down, his hair hiding the fear and sudden desperation that gripped his amethyst eyes.
Without answering, Yuki took the hand that rested so comfortingly on his shoulder and lead Manabe out of the room, feeling no longer able to contain the emotions that threatened to break through.
Shigure watched the boys disappear and waited until their footsteps disappeared up the stairs before setting down his book and letting out a sigh. "Oh, Yuki," he murmured, glancing indifferently at the door before closing his eyes and leaning back in his chair. "Don't let yourself use him the same way you were used."
"Yuki."
The small amethyst-eyed boy's deadened gaze flitted away from the window to a shadowed corner of the room. The only thing he could make out in the blackness was the faint glow of Akito's pale skin, lightened by the sunlight streaming in from the open window.
He had only left for a moment.
It had been New Years, the biggest gathering of the Juunishi, a time when Yuki could only sit with Akito and watch the family he had never been allowed to talk to all laugh and have fun together. His head was hung, imitating Akito's own posture, which helped him feign disinterest as he watched the goings on of his family closely.
Kagura ran around from group to group, from Momiji happily clinging to an exasperated Hatori, to Ritsu, smiling apologetically, and the indifferent Hatsuharu.
Akito turned to talk to Kureno, and while the boy was distracted, Yuki lifted his gaze to Isuzu, Shigure, and Ayame, the boy who was his brother. Ayame was talking animatedly to the laughing Shigure while Isuzu watched.
For a moment, Ayame and Shigure glanced over toward the six-year-old. Yuki broke out in a sweat. Their eyes… indifference, disinterest, pity. Hate…
"Everyone hates the rat, stupid!"
Swallowing, Yuki glanced at Akito. The nine-year-old seemed very preoccupied with Kureno.
Closing his eyes and gaining control of his suddenly ragged breathing, Yuki rose soundlessly to his feet and walked to the hall that neighbored the room filled with his cursed family. His destination was originally the bathroom, which he hoped could have given him some sort of justification for leaving Akito's side, but before he turned into the next corridor, he heard two servants talking.
"The boy possessed by the cat? No, he's certainly there. And has been for a while."
"Really? On the 'outside'?"
"He makes these terribly angry faces."
"Heh. I suppose he's bitter about being left out."
Yuki stared out of the window behind the women at the dark, snowy sky. …Cat? he mused curiously.
Something in his head clicked. The cat was left out? When Yuki had realized he'd never shared words with the other members of the Zodiac, not even his own brother, he had felt as if there was nothing left in the world for him. Perhaps the cat could be the first cousin he talked to? Maybe they could be friends, even?
Yuki turned on his heel and ran as fast as his small legs would carry him, away from the corridor, away from the family that abandoned him, away from Akito; his new destination was a freedom that might have been waiting right outside the front door.
"No, he's certainly there."
"On the outside."
He opened the door and poked his head out into the snowy front yard. Immediately he spotted the cat, and right along with the sight felt himself blush. The other boy was wearing sneakers and long socks, shorts, a wool jacket, and an overly large scarf. His knees were scuffed and his nose was red from the cold. The heavy coat of snow made the yard unnaturally quiet, so along with being able to see it, Yuki could hear the cat's shallow breathing. The rat's mouth hung open in his speechlessness.
Yuki saw that the cat's shining eyes were the same colour as his hair when the other boy turned to glower at him. It's so…pretty, Yuki thought. He stepped out of the house completely. That pretty orange.
"Um…" Yuki mumbled shyly. The cat had indeed notice him, and despite how nervous he felt, Yuki smiled at the scowling boy and stepped closer still.
"You. You're the rat, huh?" the cat asked. His voice was very different from Yuki's naturally gentle and slightly effeminate tone, in fact, different from any voice the rat had ever heard. It was scratchy; boyish. Yuki liked it. He wanted to hear it again.
"Oh. Um, yes," he replied quietly, the blush in his cheeks increasingly lightly.
"I'll never forgive you," the cat said, his tone quiet and angry. It rose, though, as he continued: "Do you hear me? I'll never forgive you!"
Yuki's eyes widened, and his mouth dropped a quarter of an inch. The blush in his cheeks disappeared, leaving his face cold and pale. "It's all your fault, rat! Everything's your fault!" Yuki realized his breathing was again becoming ragged. "It's all because you exist!"
The orange-haired boy's glaring eyes became cat-like and he bared his sharp teeth as he shouted, "Someone as rotten as you oughta do us all a favor and just disappear!"
Yuki watched as the boy ran away. It took only a moment for what had happened to sink in, and only a moment more for his face to flush, tears to well in his eyes, and his mouth to gape, a small strangled sound escaping him. "The rat."
Realizing he'd made a mistake in leaving the sanctity of the gathering, Yuki ran back inside in search of some kind of comfort; someone to tell him it was okay. He had never even met that boy before, but already he was hated for something that was completely out of his hands.
Yuki slowed to a halt. He saw his mother standing in front of a window, wringing her hands and looking worried. Worried about…me? Yuki wondered.
He wiped at the tears with the sleeve of his sweater. "M-Mother?" he asked, his voice timid and tearful. "Mother… I—"
Swiftly, without warning, she whirled around and smacked the six-year-old as hard as she could. "Where on earth have you been!" she shouted, glaring without remorse at her youngest song. "Hurry up and go back to the head of the family!" A tear slid slowly down Yuki's burning cheek. "I refuse to be humiliated over something so insignificant!"
"Everyone hates the rat!"
The boy raised a shaking hand so his fingertips just barely graced the skin that was already numbing over.
"Nobody cares about you."
"Yuki, please answer me." Akito abandoned his dark corner to walk near where Yuki sat, hugging his knees to his chest and crying silent tears. "I would very much like to hear your voice." Yuki wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his kimono.
"Y-yes, Akito?" the small boy choked out, forcing back a sob.
The nine-year-old let out a satisfied, "Hm," and kneeled in front of his cousin. Yuki neither flinched nor pulled away as Akito reached out his hand, first to brush the hair from the younger's face, then to trace down Yuki's soft cheek with slender fingers. "Much better," he whispered, his fingertips feather-light against Yuki's trembling chin, the touch eliciting a small whimper from the rat.
"Akito, ah…are you angry?" Yuki asked quietly. A moment of silence passed, and the six-year-old found he was unsure of whether it was himself or the fingers on his chin that were shaking. His eyes were not meeting Akito's narrowed gaze, but focusing on his cousin's lips, slightly parted, as if he were about to say something but couldn't find the words.
"We'll see, my little Yuki," Akito finally said, his voice soft as he leant down to place a chaste kiss on his cousin's pale lips.
Yuki closed his eyes just in time for Akito to pull away. He couldn't say he dislike when his cousin did that. It was actually very nice; between being hurt and being told how dark the world was, it was the most enjoyable part of being with Akito.
The head of the family again leaned in, and Yuki took the opportunity to tilt his head up to meet the older's lips. It was short, but Akito was back within the moment, placing an open mouthed kiss on Yuki's closed lips. Yuki felt his arms fall slowly to his sides. It was strange how at ease he felt when Akito kissed him; his tears stopped, the pain in his heart was forgotten.
Yuki opened his mouth a bit and resituated his legs so that they were no longer blocking Akito from coming any closer. The nine-year-old immediately pressed himself against his cousin without breaking the kiss, and placed a hand on the back of Yuki's neck to pull him closer still.
Without warning, Akito slipped a tentative tongue into Yuki's mouth. Yuki, startled by the action, tried to pull away, but Akito's hand on his neck held him still as the boy explored the six-year-old's mouth.
Having Akito's hot tongue stroke his own sent up many alarms in Yuki's brain. Something about the whole situation suddenly seemed very wrong. Yuki's eyes, open and staring at Akito's crinkled eyebrows and closed lids, widened when the nine-year-old moaned and began reaching urgently for the ties to Yuki's kimono.
"A…Akito!" the six-year-old yelled into his cousin's mouth. The sound was muffled, but it made no difference as Yuki jerked his head away. "Please stop," the boy said silently, his voice nearly tearful. "This is wrong."
It took a few moments for Akito to register he'd heard Yuki, and when he did, Yuki was met with a smack. "Who are you to tell me I'm doing something wrong!" Akito shrieked. Instantaneously, Yuki burst into tears. "Was it not wrong for you to leave me at New Years! And why did you leave? To greet the stupid cat!"
Yuki's sobs grew louder. Throughout sanga-nichi, all he'd been able to think about was the cat; how beautiful the other boy was, and how much he hated himself for being born the way he was—for being born in a form that everyone hated.
"Why would you want to speak to that wretched monster, anyway? I'm your friend, your mother gave you to me!" In a fit of fury, Akito grabbed Yuki by the back of the neck and pulled him into a kiss so harsh that both of their lips were bruised. "You're mine," Akito murmured against the rat's lips, his voice a near whine.
While Akito again began to take advantage of Yuki's mouth, all the six-year-old could do was think that Akito was wrong.
No boy so beautiful could ever be such a monster.
"Neat room, Yu—mmph!"
Manabe was cut short as Yuki took two fistfuls of his shirt and backed him forcefully into the wall, his quick, shallow breath mere inches from Manabe's parted lips, his eyes closed, relishing in the feeling of hot breath mixing with his own. Yuki could almost feel the shocked stare the other had on him; even through his shirt, Yuki could feel Manabe's heart fluttering wildly against his chest.
Suddenly, as if just realizing what he was doing, Yuki's eyes opened wide in shock and he released Manabe, backing several feet away, not daring to look at his friend. What the hell just got into me? Yuki thought, wrapping an arm around his trembling self and covering his mouth with his free hand, his fingers whispering over his lips. What if I had—h-had kissed…
"Yuki," Manabe said, his voice quiet and serious. "Did that Akito person do something to you?" Yuki covered his eyes with his hands, his body suddenly leaning towards the ground. "He didn't… touch you, did he?"
Unable to keep it in, the rat fell forward onto his knees, his hands flying forward to the floor, tears falling from his shut eyes into streams that dripped down his cheeks. "I couldn't stop him!" Yuki cried, his tone almost defiant. His hands became fists, and he bit his lip in an attempt to cover his sobs.
Without any pretense, Manabe's arms were around the broken boy. The rat's eyes flew open in surprise, but Nabe still held him close, his eyes closed and eyebrows narrowed, his chin resting gently atop Yuki's head. "It's okay, Yuki," he murmured softly. "It wasn't your fault."
After a moment of tense shock, Yuki's body relaxed and he too closed his eyes, leaning into the warm embrace.
Those words were exactly what Yuki had always wanted to hear.
Don't look at me that way
It was an honest mistake
An Honest Mistake, The Bravery