It was late. Very late. And quiet. Will has the only one left working. The Stevenson case was taking all his energy. He had come up with five different strategies, trying to predict every objection, every possibility.

God, he felt so tired. He got up and sat on his couch with his baseball between his hands. He was doing a good job, he knew it and yet something in this case felt wrong. It was a good case. Miss Stevenson was a reputable business woman, Sweeney a well know pervert. They had the upper hand. And yet he felt pessimistic. He couldn't shake the feeling something bad was going to come up.

Maybe it wasn't the case. Maybe he wasn't ready to go up against Alicia. It wasn't he was afraid of her skills as a lawyer (he didn't underestimate her she was an exceptional attorney) but he could somehow feel himself as he was preparing holding his punches. Wondering if he could actually be that cutthroat in court. Alicia had one weakness. She played by the book. Will didn't. The question was could he show her that?

He sighed deeply. He was still angry with her, very much so. And he was hurt. He had stuck his neck out too many times for her and that was the thank you? But some deeper power that went against all logic and anger and resentment and hate, made him reluctant to hurt her back as he knew he could. Would he ever be free from her? He was so absorbed in his thoughts he didn't hear Kalinda coming in.

"Hey, you ok?"

"Kalinda, what are you doing here at this hour?"

"My job. I have been looking into Miss Stevenson's background. Everything seems perfect." Kalinda said with a look of disdain.

"Too perfect perhaps? You have a bad feeling about this too?"

" Yes I do. But it could be just us being paranoid you know. A pair of cynical misfits" Kalinda smiled.

"Kalinda, I don't want to be blindsided on this. The firm cannot afford it."

Kalinda got up. "Don't worry Will. I am good at what I do."

Will stared at her as she was leaving and then decided to address the elephant in the room.

"Since you are so good at you job, how come we lost half our clients and associates?"

Kalinda froze at the door. She knew Will was wary of her, right after Cary and Alicia left. For weeks she was handed small assignments and she found both Will's and Diane's door closed. She knew they were suspecting her of becoming a double agent. Only after she signed an exclusivity contract, she was assigned more crucial cases. Although her relationship with Diane hadn't suffered, Will still was distant. No drinks, no teasing.

"You lost them because Cary, Alicia and the other four year associates formed their own firm." she answered carefully.

"Don't play word games with me, Kalinda. You know perfectly well what I am asking. Cary and Alicia were the ones that approached you. The new firm you were telling me about, when you asked for healthcare."

"Not Alicia. I didn't know Alicia was leaving Will."

"How long did you know? Since I asked to look into Seth De Luca?"

"No Will. I swear no. Since your rape case."

"Nice. So you knew for about a month before they left."

"Yes." Kalinda answered looking him straight in the eyes.

"See you tomorrow." Will said coldly and returned on his files.

"I slept with Cary." she blurted out

"Excuse me?"

"I slept with Cary. He knows the one thing I am ashamed of and he doesn't care. You are a friend and I will always have your back, but I just couldn't betray Cary."

"And this is the first time I talk too much." Kalinda concluded slightly embarrassed. She really wasn't a talker and she hated confiding in people and trusting. But after losing Alicia and Cary, Will was all she had left. After all he better than anyone could understand how many compromises you might make for someone you care about. And Will was a good person. She wasn't comfortable scheming against him.

"Will? Say something."

"I am processing, K."

"Could you process loudly?"

"You and Cary. Then why didn't you leave too?"

"Because there is no me and Cary. It is complicated. He wants more and I don't know if I can give more. I am conflicted."

"Because of the women?"

"No, not because of the women." Kalinda paused, thinking how to make him understand, when she barely understood herself.

"You know I envy you Will. You know what you want or more precisely who. And it must be amazing to love one woman, to have the ability to dedicate yourself to one person. I am not like that. I cannot commit."

Will laughed bitterly. "Oh K. don't envy me. I wouldn't wish this feeling to anyone, not even my worst enemy. It is all consuming, it doesn't stop and I have no control over it."

Kalinda looked at him with compassion. They sat there in a comfortable silence for a while.

"You once told me when you first started seeing Alicia that you couldn't feel. That you were sometimes in the middle of an emotion and you realized you weren't actually feeling anything. I think it is the opposite. I think you feel too much and you want to pretend not to feel."

"I think the same goes for you Kalinda. No don't shake your head. You are loyal to your friends in every way that truly matters."

"Ok, you know what? I am going to take off before we sit on the floor and start braiding our hair."

Will started laughing in earnest.

"Instead of braiding our hair, how about we do some shots?"

"I do like that idea."

"Kalinda one more thing. What does Cary know? You said Cary knows the one thing you are ashamed of."

"When Peter Florrick helped me change my name, I slept with him once to thank him."

Α/Ν This is my favorite chapter so far. Ι know it is long. But I loved it. Kalinda and Will are one of my favorite frienships in the series and I wanted to explore it.

Thank you G. and guategol for reviewing.

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