A/N This is my favorite Alicia chapter. I know it is short and I promise I will update with a plot continuance very soon. I just wanted to play around with Alicia a bit.

As always none of the characters belong to me and I am not making any profit.

After Kalinda left, silence was heavy. Alicia didn't speak, she couldn't. She was stunned by her own behavior. Kalinda had been right. When did she become that person, who threw her friends over the cliff? And for what? Peter?

Peter was talking to Eli, they were looking for another scapegoat. Alicia didn't care. She had never felt so empty and numb before. Peter looked behind her as he was talking and froze. "Eli I will call you back." he said in a hurry.

Grace was standing there frozen. She looked so hurt. Alicia mothering instincts kicked in. She went to her daughter and hugged her.

"Honey, how long have you been here?"

"The whole time. I heard what Kalinda said."

Alicia and Peter exchanged a glance. This was bad.

"Was she telling the truth?"

"Look Grace, there are two sides to every story. Kalinda was protecting her boss and I am protecting my own interests. So we clash." Peter said ever the politician.

"So she was telling the truth. Don't shake your head at me. I know you. I remember the day the scandal with Amber Madison broke out. You came to us with the exact same look and said There are two sides to every story. Well, you know sometimes they simply aren't Dad. I am going to my room. Don't bother coming after me."

"Grace " Alicia tried to calm her daughter.

"No mom no. I do understand that you are trying to protect us. But honestly can you really look yourself in the mirror right now?"

Alicia and Peter were silent. They both knew Grace needed time.

"I might need to resign, Eli said. It is not the worse thing. I would have more time for you and the kids and I actually liked what I was doing as State's Attorney."

"You have to do what Eli says." Alicia said unemotionally.

"Alicia look..."Peter started.

"No." she interrupted him forcefully. "No. I am not having this conversation. I cannot have this conversation. If I do, I am going to feel like a compete fool for staying by your side. I will tell everyone you had an emergency. Go meet and Eli and scheme."

Hours later she sat alone on the bed restless a glass of red wine on her hand, staring intro space.

Grace had barged out of her room, minutes after Peter had left crying. She began yelling, unable to put a lid on her emotions. Zach had been very hurt. He idolized his father and had fought actively for his win. Owen had remained silent and had managed to grab or more accurately drag Veronica out of the house.

Jackie kept saying how she had raised a good son and everyone was attacking him because he was so clever.

And Alicia? Alicia had kept silent, her face a mask, her family her first and only priority. She had nothing else to hold on to. Her job left her with more problems and ethical questions than ever and management was proving hard and ruthless. Oh she still enjoyed the court though. Kalinda would probably never even say hello to her again. And Will...Will was forever lost to her. She didn't deserve him. Alicia took a deep breath and got up to pour some more wine. As she did she knocked over a magazine. The one with Will's picture in it. She opened it and gazed at his photo.

That's when Alicia Florrick broke down crying. For choices she made, for the road she never took. For a friendship she destroyed. For the fact that she would never be able to say I have been a happy, loved woman.

A/N So did you like angsty Alicia? I had in mind that scene in season 2 where she breaks down after finding out about Kalinda and Peter. Was she in character? Is there any going back from this?

Thank you Trixie ( I am rewatching season 1 so Peter's indiscretions are recent to me), LPB, Bye11, just-in-love-hubby, G. and guategal for reviewing. You guys are the best I was really worried the Kalinda- Peter- Will development wasn't working out. Please I am anxious to hear from you again.