Nick was alone in the loft, save for Winston who was asleep in his room; he sighed, inwardly happy to finally have a bit of peace and quiet after all that had happened over the past few weeks- silence was his one luxury. He decided the most productive thing he could do was sleep, so he sprawled out on his stomach on the couch, burying his face in one of the pillows.
Schmidt reached the conclusion that 'soul searching' wasn't his thing after a week wandering between various parks and hostels—nor was it particularly his style; dirty bathrooms were not for him. This only led him back to the loft, his true home, his rock in uncertain times. As he entered the lift with a spaced out expression on his face, he bumped into a gorgeous woman. She was tall with luscious brown locks cascading down her back and smooth, porcelain skin like his roommate, Jess.
"I can't tell whether you're drunk or high but there is something odd about you." She announced as she eyed his flip flops, cargo pants, and ridiculous t-shirt. He obviously hadn't bathed for some time and she had to hold the sleeve of her cardigan up to her nose to keep her eyes from watering.
"I'm not drunk; just intoxicated on you." He grinned at her, winking as he said this, in true Schmidt fashion.
"Is that your feeble attempt to pick me up?" The mystery woman sneered and burst into laughter. "You know what, stupid t-shirt guy? I like you—you're kind of a dork but it works for you." Her eyes glistened as she chuckled at her own joke.
Nick was just drifting off to sleep when he heard keys jingling outside the loft. He sat up groggily and was rubbing his eyes when Schmidt walked in with a tall, pale, brunette woman. He raised an eyebrow at the pair before he spoke, "Hey, where have you been, Schmidt? It's been a week since I've seen you."
The woman plopped herself down beside Nick on the couch and stared dreamily into his eyes. "Who's your friend, silly shirt guy?"
Schmidt nodded to Nick. "Hello Nicholas, I have had a long week and I believe a little R and R is in order, if you know what I mean." He winked at the ivory woman who looked very disgusted.
"I am not that kind of woman, I assure you. I am looking for my cousin, Jessica. She does live here, does she not?"
Nick's eyes looked like two saucers about to pop out of his skull. "I didn't know Jess had a cousin."
She nodded slowly. "I'm Sophie. Jess probably doesn't talk about me much. We used to be really close as kids, but then we got to high school and sort of lost touch."
Schmidt sat down beside Sophie on the couch and gazed at her with a determined glint in his eyes. "I understand what it's like to be disowned by a family member. It hurts, but it is okay to cry. I'm here for you if you need me."
Sophie scooted away from Schmidt and closer to Nick. "Actually, would you mind getting me some coffee? I have had quite a bit to drink and could use some sobering up."
Schmidt stood up and started walking toward the kitchen. "Sure, how do you take it?"
"Actually, I passed a Starbucks on my way in and could really go for a frappuccino right about now."
Schmidt let out a heavy sigh, but smiled kindly. "Sure, anything for the lady."
After Schmidt had gone, Sophie turned her attention to Nick, who was now sitting up, staring ahead at the blank television in front of him. "I must confess I don't like coffee; I was always more of a tea person. I just wanted to get rid of him so we could be alone," She purred.
Nick made his turtle face and began shaking his head back and forth rapidly, scooting further down the sofa away from Sophie. Sophie however, seemed to enjoy the thrill of the chase and crawled closer to Nick, batting her long, thick eyelashes between slurred seductive phrases, her ice blue eyes flashing playfully at him. Nick kept backing away from her, shaking his head and saying "No" repeatedly. When he got to the edge of the couch, Sophie dove forward to kiss him and he rolled away from her at the last minute; he wound up on the floor while Sophie's face smashed into the couch cushion. At just that moment, Jess walked in the door with two paper bags in her arms. Nick stood up quickly and strode across the room away from Jess's crazy cousin. "Jess, Jess is home, everybody look it's Jess!" When he reached Jess he pulled her into his arms and squeezed her tightly, never wanting to let go.
Sophie sat up from the couch and wiped a bit of drool away from her face. She grinned widely when she saw her cousin and waved eagerly. "Hey cuz," she hiccupped.
Jess frowned, imitating her boyfriend's famous turtle face. "What is she doing here?" Nick finally let her go and looked back and forth at the two women.
"Jess, you can't still be mad at me about what happened years ago!" Sophie hiccupped again and Jess let out a loud cry of frustration.
"GET OUT!" She ran at Sophie, dropping the paper bags she was carrying to the floor.
Nick grabbed Jess by the arm, holding her back. "Hey, Jess, calm down would ya?"
"Who let her in the loft?! How did you find me?" Jess was seething mad, Nick had never seen her angry like this before; he was very frightened and slightly aroused.
"She came in with Schmidt. What is going on with you?" Nick asked.
Jess glared at Sophie and answered, "Never mind. I want her out of here."
Sophie looked at her cousin pleadingly, "Please, Jessica. I'm desperate. I wouldn't have come if it wasn't important."
Jess stalked over to the kitchen to brew herself some tea, ignoring Sophie.
"Are you making tea? I would love a cup if you don't mind." When Jess still ignored her, she continued. "That's fine, I deserve that." She sounded hurt.
"Jess," Nick spoke softly, "Maybe you should hear her out. She is family after all."
Jess whipped around to face Nick. She looked intense, but her expression softened when she saw his face. She just couldn't stay mad at him. She sighed, "How do you like your tea?"
"Milk and honey, please," She smiled thoughtfully up at Jess.
When their tea was ready, they sat in the den and Sophie began to explain her latest misadventures to her cousin. "It was awful Jess, I got left at the altar, my whole family resents me, none of my friends want anything to do with me; my life is a mess." Jess set her mug on the coffee table and pulled Sophie into a warm embrace.
"That's terrible, Soph. Just cry it out. Everything will be okay."
The two began talking and reminiscing about their childhood and all the memories they shared together. Nick had snuck away to his room to get some rest and to let the two catch up on old times. Jess leaned back into the couch and grinned at Sophie. "I missed talking to you, Soph. I can't even remember why we were fighting." That's when Schmidt returned to the loft with a carrier full of Starbucks coffee and a very mystified look on his face.
"Sophie, I brought you your coffee—and you don't want it anymore. Well, I just spent the last two and a half hours in hell trying to do a nice thing. Thanks for nothing, sweet cheeks."
Jess frowned. "Schmidt, jar; you don't talk about my cousin like that!"
Schmidt trudged over to the women and dropped the carrier of Starbucks on the coffee table and scoffed loudly, "Jessica, I just went on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride to get your lovely cousin a frappuccino after several long hours of fruitless soul-searching. Do I get a thank you when I return though? No, of course not; well guess what sweetheart, next time you want to be alone with a man, you can just tell me, you don't have to send me out on some wild goose chase. Schmidt out!" With that he stormed off to his room and slammed the door shut.
Jess paused mid-sip before saying, "Wait, before I got home, Nick was the only one in the loft." She was slowly putting the puzzle pieces together in her mind when the epiphany struck her like a lightning bolt. "You were trying to sleep with Nick?"
Sophie shrugged, "I'm on the rebound; I just got dumped. Plus, grumpy men are so sexy."
Jess shook her head and tossed the remainder of her now lukewarm tea in Sophie's face, "You're never going to change! Things will never be how they were when we were kids!"
Nick heard shouting and came out of his room, his hair was ruffled and he looked groggy. "What's all the commotion about?"
Jess could feel the tears threaten her eyes. "Nicholas, did Sophie hit on you?"
Nick was fully awake now. He started to panic moonwalk out of the room, but Jess chased after him and pulled him back.
"Did she or did she not try and have sex with you?"
Nick shrugged. "I don't think it's my place to say."
Jess groaned loudly and stomped out of the loft towards the elevator. She didn't know where she was planning on going, but she had to get away from the apartment. Nick ran after her, calling her name. "Jess, wait!"
He grabbed her arm just as she was getting on the elevator and pulled her into him. "Jess, what is wrong? What happened between you two?"
Jess avoided his eyes, staring down at their feet, which were touching toe to toe. Nick pulled her chin up to make her look him in the eyes. "Nick, she's a bad person. Growing up we were inseparable; nothing could tear us apart. We liked all of the same things, which is great when you're five, but then we started liking boys," She shook her head, allowing the tears to fall and Nick wiped them away with his thumb, "She stole all the boys I liked. And now she's trying to steal you too."
Nick placed his hands on either side of her head. He licked his lips slowly, tilting his head slightly askew as he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers, kissing her so passionately that they both saw space and time once again. When they pulled apart he whispered, "Nothing can ever steal me away from you."
When they walked back to the apartment, Jess hesitated at the door, not wanting to confront her cousin again. Nick squeezed her shoulders and placed a gentle peck on her forehead before continuing inside with his hand around her waist to guide her. They found Sophie sitting on the sofa, face sticky with tea, sipping her own nonchalantly. Nick balled his hands into fists at his sides; his face was turning red with anger. "GET OUT!" He shouted angrily. Jess bit her lower lip anxiously. She had seen Nick irritated before, but now he was irate. She felt her knees go week and had to grab a hold of Nick's arm to steady herself.
The suddenness of Nick's shouting caused Sophie to start with a mouth full of tea. She sputtered the hot drink all down her blouse and quickly collected up her things and left. Nick relaxed his hands and turned back to Jess, who was smiling brightly. He spread his feet and squatted down, placing his hands around her middle and kissed her firmly, savoring the subtle taste of cinnamon that lingered on her lips. They stood there, foreheads touching, nuzzling noses, when Sophie appeared in the doorway again. They hadn't heard her open the door, but when she spoke she startled both of them. "I just forgot something. I'm sorry for any drama I caused today, Jessica. I wish you two the best of luck." She turned to leave before adding, "You make an unusually cute couple."
Winston was leaving for work when he noticed two paper bags sitting on the floor in the foyer. One had fallen over and he bent down to retrieve the contents. "What's this?" He asked Nick and Jess, but the two were so caught up in each other on the sofa that they paid no attention to him. A large box of condoms had fallen out of the bag. Winston started stuffing the box back in and noticed something else.
"Ay, what in the world is this?" He held up a slutty nurse costume wrapped in plastic packaging and raised an eyebrow at the pair still cuddling on the couch.
Jess's eyes shot wide open and her face turned bright red. "I—uh—Winston, that was…"
Winston held up his hand to cut her off. "I know exactly what this is." Jess looked panicked, but Winston continued, "I heard Schmidt this morning. He brought some strange woman back to the loft that must have left her things behind. I keep telling him to keep his sexual ventures contained in his room. This is a jar for sure."
Jess shook her head. "That's Schmidt for ya! He's a dirty, dirty, man." She walked over to Winston and started to take the bags away from him. "I'll just make sure these get disposed of properly."
Winston nodded. "Good idea." He grabbed his keys from by the door left for work.
Nick stood up and started walking to his room. "You ready for bed?"
Jess grinned mischievously. "Yeah, I'll be right in." She carried the bags toward the bathroom and closed the door.
Nick was lying in his bed, waiting for Jess when his door slowly creaked open and Jess sauntered in wearing the nurse outfit. Nick sat straight up and grinned devilishly when he saw her. "Hello nurse."
Jess slowly walked over to him, "Nicholas, you cured me of my annoying cousin today so now it's time for me to cure you." She reached the end of his bed and winked, then pounced onto the mattress.