"I just want to tell you,
It takes everything in me not to call you…"
Every now and then in the dead of night, when everyone was too wrapped up in their own affairs to worry about her, Caroline wondered if she ever crossed his mind. In a thousand years he must have met a million girls, made love to countless of them.
She was no one special. She was just a girl who spent one pivotal week in her life with the most compelling man on the planet. He's probably spent weeks in the arms of women ten times more beautiful than me.
When these nightly thoughts overwhelmed her like they did tonight, she found herself crawling out from under her covers to make her way through the town, to his home. She would stand in the edges of the woods and stare at the mansion that once felt like home. Sometimes she let herself imagine him still there. He's in his studio, so engrossed in painting, he doesn't even sense me standing outside waiting for him to come out and say, "I could never be far from where you are, love."
Nobody had occupied it since he left a year ago. Caroline didn't think she could stand it if someone else would move in and encroach on a place that was his… theirs.
Sometimes she wondered if she had just imagined him, imagined their time together. Was it just a dream? Was it just a wayward daydream that had gone on too long? But then she would feel the brass pendant around her neck and remember that he was here, that he came back for her. "I'll always come back for you…"
So why wasn't he here? Why was he letting her mind fill with doubts and uncertainties, when he could easily remedy them with his presence?
He said he loved me, Caroline scoffed. If this is his love then he can keep it.
With these bitter thoughts running through her mind, Caroline was turning away from her spot in the woods, staring at the abandoned mansion. Suddenly, she saw a light turn on in an upstairs window, causing her to falter in her step. Gaining her footing, Caroline moved forward to towards the house, hope filling her every step.
As soon as she made it out of the woods and into the clearing of his property, she felt a movement behind her. Turning with a smile on her face to greet the man who had taken up residence in her thoughts, she was startled to see another face. A face that terrified her.
"Hello, darling. Miss me?"
"I wish I could run to you,
And I hope you know that
Every time I don't, I almost do…"
Caroline felt the thick, warm blood coat her throat as it went down and filled her body with a dark thrill. It was wrong. It was paradise.
Losing herself in the power of her feed, Caroline almost didn't notice the girl she held losing consciousness due to blood loss. Forcing her mouth off the girl's wrist, she looked over at her partner in crime feeding at the girl's neck.
"Hey," she nudged his shoulder, "that's enough."
Lifting his head, he looked at Caroline with a frown. Caroline wanted to laugh at his ability to look like a sullen child with blood dripping down his chin.
"You know, when I helped you learn restraint in your feed, I didn't think the restraint would have to apply to me as well," Kol complained.
Caroline gave him an admonishing look, but couldn't keep her smile from peeking through. It had been five years since he caught her standing outside Klaus' mansion. In those five years he had turned her world upside down. Mikaelson brothers, go figure.
At first, Caroline had thought since Kol was back, it had to mean Klaus was back as well. So when he roughly pulled her wrists behind her back and tugged her towards the house, she went willingly. She'd go inside, see Klaus, and everything would be all right. Klaus would be with her again.
But when she demanded to see him, Kol only shook his head in pity. "Sorry, sweetheart, but he's long gone. Pulled the dagger out of my heart, told me Silas was buried for good and set me free on your quaint little town."
The murderous glee in his eyes scared her. How could Klaus do this? How could he endanger the town? Endanger me?
Fear made her step back, closer to the door. Kol took pity and relented. Rolling his eyes, he clarified, "relax, Caroline. I'm under strict orders not to let harm come to you or your friends. Klaus threatened with a fate worse than a dagger, so I'll abide by his wishes. For now."
Walking up to her, Kol put his arm around her shoulders and guided her inside the sitting room, as if they were old friends. Seating her on one of the couches, Kol went to rummage through the liquor cabinet.
"So tell me, my dear, what monstrous act kept you from accepting my brother's affections? With the way he was acting, I had thought I'd find you two a happy couple upon my waking."
Caroline realized that Klaus hadn't told Kol anything about them. Just that she wasn't to be harmed. If Klaus trusts him enough to let him roam here without supervision, then I guess he can't be that bad.
"Klaus's leaving wasn't my choice. It was his. He said I needed space to explore 'my darkness,' whatever that means," she said throwing her hands in the air in frustration.
Intrigued by her dilemma, Kol poured them both a drink and sat down next to her to pry a little more. "And what have you done to fulfill his request?"
Taking the drink from his hands, Caroline downed the whiskey in one gulp. "Nothing. I even gave up college to stay here and come up with something… someway I can do what he thinks I need to do. I just haven't come up with anything that will let me live with myself."
Looking over at him, Caroline narrowed her eyes, "I'm not like you guys. I can't just feed and not care about the people I'm hurting in the process. Believe me, I've tried. It just… it doesn't feel right."
Bringing his glass to his lips, Kol tried to hide the glee building inside him. "Don't worry your pretty little head over it, darling. You're in my hands now. I know just what to do. I'm going to take good care of you."
And he had. She had spent the next five years learning to control her feed. Kol didn't care for control. He didn't mind getting lost in the euphoric taste of blood, but Caroline made it a stipulation that if she was going to do as he said, then he had to promise to keep their prey alive.
So far, so good.
Leaning over the limp girl between them now, she wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth. He is such a sloppy eater, she smiled to herself. Glancing up at his eyes, Caroline noticed a haze of desire clouding his eyes. It wasn't the first time, and it wouldn't be the last.
She sighed and pulled away. This wasn't the time or place to discuss what was going on between them. Standing up, she cleared her throat and said, "hurry up and heal her. I'm tired and I want to go home."
Kol didn't like her evasion, but complied. As he went about getting some blood down the weak girl's throat, Caroline looked over her shoulder at the window of the abandoned bar. She could see clear into the empty street, but Caroline could have sworn she felt someone watching them.
Anxiety built inside her. They couldn't risk having someone discover what they had been doing in here. Turning back to Kol, she said, "I think she's had enough. She'll survive. Let's go."
Kol raised his eyebrows at Caroline's urgency, but placed the girl on the bar and followed her out the door.
About a year after Kol breezed into town and redefined Caroline's life, she moved into Klaus' mansion with him. Her mother and friends didn't understand what her life was becoming like he did. Nobody else kept her as grounded.
But that's not why she moved in with him. She moved in to be closer to Klaus. Even though he wasn't around, she felt his presence in every room. Being there, she could recall each memory vividly. It was her sweetest torture.
Walking into the house, Caroline headed straight for his studio. Kol knew it to be her favorite room, as he often heard her moving around in there sometimes at night. Lately, every time he heard her rustling through the hundreds of sketchbooks Klaus had left behind, he felt a sort of jealousy rise within him. He told himself it was preposterous to feel anything for her, his brother's only salvation, but his heart rebelled against the thought.
Standing in the doorway of the studio, Kol watched as Caroline fiddled with the deserted brushes. "You can't keep running away from me, you know."
Caroline didn't pretend to misunderstand. The past five years had been building up to this moment. Her friends and family had seen it coming. Hell, she had even seen it coming, but she didn't care.
Stefan had questioned her judgment when it came to Kol, but she had defended him. Stefan was becoming quickly wrapped up in his own relationship, and Caroline was left alone. Kol gave her the support nobody else could provide. She needed him, and she liked to think he needed her as well; that she made him a better person.
Rebekah was the only one who had encouraged her connection with Kol, saying maybe this would show Klaus what he was missing. Caroline wanted her to be right, but she gave up on that hope 3 years ago.
Now here was another man, equally as compelling as his older brother, but what she felt for them both was vastly different.
Klaus made her yearn, made her want more from life. He was a promise of all the possibilities the world offered. Kol made her strong, made her believe that she had the power to overcome any obstacle. He was simply her life. Without him, she'd be back in that hole Klaus had left her in, trying to find her balance again.
She couldn't lose him. She couldn't lose Kol.
"Kol," she began.
"No, Caroline," he said stepping up behind her to grasp her shoulders. Kneading the muscles, Kol tried to reason with her. "Stop pushing me away. I know you miss Klaus, but he isn't here. For the life of me, I will never know how he could leave you, but I'm here, darling. And I'm not going anywhere."
Gently turning her around, Kol peered into her eyes searching for answers. "There's something here, Caroline. I don't know what it is, but I know you feel it too." Resting his forehead against hers, he softly whispered, "Give us a chance. Just give in."
"Give in, sweetheart."
The words echoed through her mind like a gunshot. She had given in to Klaus only to have him walk away from her. She didn't think she could stand being abandoned again.
"I'm not going anywhere, Caroline. You won't be rid of me easily," Kol reiterated, almost as if he read her mind. Being around her for five years, he almost could. He knew her better than most. Caroline smiled at the thought.
He's not Klaus. Sure, he can't unravel me the way his brother does, but that also means he won't destroy me either. And he won't just leave me.
Staring into his eyes, Caroline decided to give in to her mind and leaned closer to press her lips to his. There were no fireworks, but the kiss felt like one of those cold Saturday mornings when she was a child and her parents would wrap her in a blanket and cuddle her in front of the TV while they watched cartoons. She felt wanted, protected, and cherished. It brought out another one of her "Kol smiles" as Elena had dubbed them. The kind only Kol could bring to her face.
Pulling away, Kol's eyes glittered with a brighter desire seeing the smile on her face. When he reached for her again, Caroline stepped away. "Baby steps," she said.
Giggling at his chastised face, she leaned closer once more to place a light peck on his lips. He's just so freaking adorable sometimes. Who knew I'd ever call a certified lunatic adorable?
She had started to turn away again when she felt that odd sensation run down her spine again. It was the same feeling she had gotten back at the bar. Only this time she had a suspicion.
"Listen, we'll get back to this-"
"Back to us," Kol interrupted.
Rolling her eyes, Caroline corrected herself, "back to us, but I'm going to head out for a bit right now. There's someone I need to see."
Kol raised his eyes at her need for a sudden departure but nodded and moved out of her way.
As she walked out of the room, Caroline looked over her shoulder and wondered how she had ever gotten by without him.
Thoughts of Kol left her mind the second she stepped out of the house. With one name running through her mind, Caroline raced into the middle of the woods. Finding a clearing, she stopped and looked around. "I know you're here. You can come out now."
Caroline had thought she'd be ready to face him again after all this time, but his presence hit her lie a brick wall. "Hello, love."
Up until he spoke she had only been running on hope, that maybe he was here. Maybe he did care. Seeing him standing before her, speaking to her… she had imagined it so many times, how their reunion would go, it almost felt surreal.
"Klaus."
His signature smirk spread across his face. Caroline hated the way it still affected her. "You've been following me. Why?"
Walking up to her, with his hands clasped behind his back, he said, "I think I should be the one asking questions, seeing as how you're living in my home, but I see Kol is with you."
Narrowing his eyes at her, he asked, "friends now, are you?"
She wasn't going to discuss Kol with him. "What Kol and I are is none of your business."
"On the contrary, love," he said taking yet another step closer to her, "everything about you is my business."
"Oh, you think so, huh? Well, let me tell you, you lost any right you had to me when you walked away six years ago, and then again on Prom. You and I have nothing to talk about anymore, so why don't you go find another one of your little playthings and go bother her."
Klaus stared at her for a moment. And then he moved.
Before Caroline could guess his intention, she found herself pushed up against a tree and Klaus's mouth was devouring her. At first she couldn't believe this was happening, but then she gave in to the spark he had once again ignited in her.
Wrapping her legs around his waist, Caroline kissed him back with a fever that had haunted her for six years. Six years of want exploded in a kiss that took her breath away. Tangling her fingers into the curls she adored, Caroline tugged on his hair to change the angle of the kiss.
Klaus complied for a bit, giving the girl whose thoughts kept him up at night what she wanted. Pressing closer to her, he tried to imprint her every curve into his body. He wanted her to mark his body as she had marked his mind.
Trailing his lips from her mouth to her neck, he spoke roughly, "you can't replace this, Caroline. There is no substitute for the magic between us."
Barely registering the words, Caroline arched her back against the tree, inviting him to take more of her. "I've tried, love," he said between placing kisses down her neck, "I tried to find another, to erase this-" moving his mouth up to her ear, "but we're a force, Caroline. There's nothing like this out there," punctuating each phrase with a kiss, he continued, "you won't find it anywhere else. Not even with Kol."
The sound of his name broke through her haze. Putting her legs down, Caroline pushed him away from her. "How dare you," she said in a quiet fury.
"Caroline," Klaus growled, frustrated at her refusing him his pleasure.
"No! You listen to me, Klaus. You left me, remember? You walked away from us. You can't keep popping in and out of my life like this! It isn't fair!" she exclaimed, tears pooling in her eyes.
"What did you expect me to do? Just sit around and wait for you to declare it's finally time for us? When will that be, by the way?" she asked rhetorically.
"I tried for you. I tried so hard to be what you thought I could be, to fulfill the potential you saw in me, but I couldn't do it. Not until Kol. He has helped me more than you could imagine. He made me as strong as I am today. What you thought I could do, Kol helped me actually do it. I can control my feed now. I can do so much more than you can imagine. All thanks to Kol."
Klaus clenched his jaw at the mention of his brother. He didn't like the way she said his name, as if Kol was her salvation. Kol could only ever ruin a person, not save them.
But Caroline wasn't done. "He has been there for me for the past five years. Where have you been, huh, Klaus? Out painting one of you infinite landscapes?"
"You," Klaus said, stopping her tirade. "For the past six years, all I've painted is you."
His confession cracked her defensive exterior. Closing her eyes at the onslaught of emotions he brought on, Caroline tried to take a deep calming breath. "Do you know why I live there with him?" she asked softly.
Klaus just stared at her quietly, hoping she was done turning him away.
Opening her eyes, she explained, "it's because of you. Kol asked me to move in there with him because he knew how much I liked being around what was yours. I'd go to Kol on the ruse of visiting him or needing his help, but he saw right through it. He saw how I'd go quiet in the middle of our conversations, because I had lost myself in thoughts of you. I think back to all our memories, every conversation we had in that house… and Kol lets me. He understands me and gives me what I need."
Staring at him, Caroline shook her head softly, "and you, Klaus, took away the one thing I needed most: you."
Stepping back she said, "you walked away from me and now you expect to what? Walk away from Kol?" she asked as if it were the most absurd idea ever.
"I can't do that to him. I can't do to him what you did to me. It hurts too much."
It was Klaus's turn to be angry. Stalking up to her, Klaus grasped her arms and pulled her in for a final furious kiss. Caroline knew he was marking her, but what he didn't know was that she had been marked by him years ago.
Moving his hand to the chain that peeked out around her neck, Klaus pulled out the pendant he had given her from its place under her shirt. Seeing that she still wore it, gave him back the confidence she had shaken.
"Mine, Caroline. You're mine. Go ahead. Go back to Kol. But mark my words, love, you'll see eventually that he won't be enough for you. Nobody will. You're mine."
Dropping the necklace to rest against her chest again, Klaus turned and walked away from her.
Caroline stood there for a long while afterwards wondering if he knew just how much she wanted his words to be true, how badly she had wanted to be just his.
One thing she knew for certain though: this was the last time he ever walked away from her.
"I confess, baby, in my dreams you're touching my face,
And asking me if I want to try again with you,
And I almost do…"
I'm leaving today for a 4 day trip to NY this weekend, but because of all the amazing reviews I got for the last one-shot, I just couldn't leave without updating for you guys! Thank you so much to:
wowokthanks, , jessnicole, Lady Lightning, Sam0728, Mystery Girl3, nfinneman, justine, Quicklove202, samtastical, RAG21, .5, DeanKlausObsessedlover, KlarolinexDelenaxx, Sad Olive, Trish, Booklover9477, and the Guests!
Also, FYI I'm a hardcore Klaroline and Kennet shipper, but after writing this chapter I don't even know anymore lol. Kol and Caroline would be kinda cute together, I think ;) And did you notice how in my world Kol is still alive? It'll stay that way, too!
There were so many directions I wanted to take this, so many depths I wanted to explore, but for the sake of the story this is it :/
Sorry I don't have the time to make graphics for this one-shot :( Maybe when I get back from my trip? That is of course, if anyone really wants to see them?
Now please leave me some amazing reviews to come back to! Pretty please?! Thanks in advance!
P.S. when I update my next chapter I'm going to change my username here to match my tumblr url: givemelovelikeklaroline. Just to make things easier on me! Hope you guys don't mind!