"Nick, have you been rummaging through my closet?" Schmidt came out of his room looking frustrated.
"Why would I go anywhere near your closet?" Nick stared at Schmidt, alarmed.
"My plethora of Italian loafers has been ransacked!" Schmidt stated matter-of-factly.
"I don't know what any of those words mean." Nick replied grumpily, taking a big gulp of coffee. That's when Jess came out of her room wearing a pink floral top and black overall shorts. She was she was wearing her glasses and had her hair tied into pigtails with two colorful pieces of ribbon.
"Well, I have to sub for a class this morning, but I can meet you this afternoon for lunch." Jess couldn't wipe the grin off of her face as she spoke to her boyfriend. Ever since they defined their relationship she had been exceedingly happy.
"That works for me." Nick's voice was so gruff and sexy in the mornings that Jess could barely control herself around him. She pressed her mouth to his for a soft, sensual kiss. She wished she could pull him by his two dollar t-shirt to her bedroom and spend the morning doing more adult things, but she would have to settle for this.
Schmidt gagged, totally killing the mood. "If you two are quite done, I have a crisis on my hands."
"I'm sorry, were we interrupting your teenage angst?" Jess's eyes locked onto Schmidt's with a challenging stare.
Schmidt avoided her gaze, feeling emasculated. "Just try to keep the PDA to a minimum around the loft, please." He poured himself a glass of orange juice and disappeared into his room.
Jess smiled with satisfaction, gave Nick a peck on the cheek, and headed out the door.
Around noon, Jess headed back to the loft for lunch. She had just parked her car and was toting her bag inside when she noticed a scruffy black mutt lurking outside the door. He had a white patch of fur on his chest and the top of his head. The dog wagged his tail when Jess approached him and he didn't have any tags so she assumed he was a stray. The poor thing looked hungry and dirty, so Jess decided to bring him up to the apartment.
"Nick, could you give me a hand?"
Nick had been napping on the couch when Jess came into the loft and roused him. He quickly stood up and bolted across the loft, stopping short when he saw the dog Jess was carrying. "What is that?" He grumbled.
"What does it look like? I found him outside, I think he's homeless." Jess looked at the dog pitifully.
"You can't just bring strange animals into our home, Jessica." Nick said, never taking his eyes off the dog.
"But you live here, Nicholas." Jess teased.
"Haha," Nick responded monotonously, then added sternly, "We're not keeping it."
Jess disregarded his comment and carried her new friend to the bathroom where she started running a hot shower for him as Nick continued ranting at her. "You have no idea what they are like, Jess. They crap all over your things and chew up your shoes and stare at you while you're trying to have sex." The last comment got Jess's attention and she stared at him as if he had grown a third eye. "Trust me, I know these things."
Jess turned her attention back to the dog, spraying him with the shower nozzle before lathering him up with Schmidt's mango chutney shampoo. She rinsed the pooch off and grabbed a towel to dry him off. As she was wrapping the towel around the pup, Winston entered the room and immediately walked over, knelt down, and scratched him behind the ears. "Where did this little guy come from?" He asked.
"He was wandering around outside, isn't he cute?" Jess answered excitedly.
"He reminds me of the dog I had when I was a kid. His name was Kareem, after Kareem Abdul Jabbar—my favorite basketball player. This guy looks more like a Magic Johnson to me though." Winston said proudly.
Nick groaned, making his turtle face, "Don't do that."
"Do what, Nick?" Winston looked up at him innocently.
"Don't name it. Don't get attached to it because it's not staying."
"We can't just throw him out on the street!" Jess complained.
"I don't see why not. He was doing just fine before you brought him up." Nick countered.
Jess stared at her boyfriend that she thought she knew so well, "Why are you acting like this, Nick?"
Nick wasn't entirely sure why he was so hell bent on getting rid of this dog. He knew for a fact that Jess was responsible, but he didn't have the best track record with pets. Back home, his younger brother always had some kind of critter that Nick ended up looking after- none of which ever seemed to like him; maybe it was because they could sense that he secretly resented them. Now just the thought of an animal in the loft brought back bad memories. Besides, Nick was pretty sure no animal deserved to live the way he lived. He sighed, "Whatever; keep the damn dog, but I don't want to be a part of it!" He shouted before storming off to his room.
Jess came out of the bathroom to see Winston at the table hiding behind his computer; there was an empty bowl next to him on the floor and Magic was nowhere in sight.
"Winston, where's the dog?" Jess asked politely.
Winston looked up from his computer screen and stared at her, "Hmm? Oh, Magic? He's…" He glanced down at his feet, suddenly becoming aware of the missing canine, "Uh… He was just here a minute ago."
"Winston!" Her voice was quickly filling with panic, "You were supposed to be watching him!" She scolded.
"I was watching him, but he was eating so I got bored and decided to check the internet and…" He trailed off, deciding whatever was on his laptop was more interesting than the situation at hand.
"Damnit, Winston, help me look for him!"
Moments later, Schmidt arrived home and trudged into the loft, he'd obviously had a long day. Jess and Winston froze and stared at each panic-stricken; they knew what would happen if their roommate found out there was a stray dog loose somewhere in the apartment.
"Hey guys," Schmidt greeted them half-heartedly.
"Hey, Schmidt, how was your day?" Jess asked nonchalantly.
"Meh," was all he managed to say before going into his room and shutting the door. A couple minutes later there was a muffled scream and Schmidt came out of his room holding Magic at arm's length. "Why was there a dog in my closet?!"
"I can explain!" Jess exclaimed.
"You better start talking then."
"I found him outside and he looked so sad and alone so I figured we could give him a home."
"Jessica, you can't just-" Schmidt leaned close to the dog and took a big whiff, "Is that my shampoo?"
Jess bit her lip nervously, "Yeah, about that, he kinda reeked so I gave him a bath."
"And you thought it would be okay to use my shower products?" Schmidt scoffed.
"He's a boy dog, Schmidt! My shampoo is too flowery for a male!" Jess shot back.
Schmidt set the dog down and rubbed his temples. "You realize what you have to do, don't you?"
Jess looked up at him with her big blue eyes and shook her head.
"You have to put up fliers. Someone is probably looking for this dog."
"No way, he doesn't have any tags or anything!" Jess pouted, looking more childish by the minute.
"Jess, he's got a point; it's the right thing to do." Winston placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Fine," Jess mumbled as she skulked away to her room.
Schmidt knocked on Nick's door. Nick thought it was Jess trying to force the mutt on him again so he called back, "We're not keeping it, Jess!"
"Nick? It's me, Schmidt."
Embarrassed, Nick walked over to the door and opened it. "Hey buddy."
"Listen, I'm going to pick up some Chinese food. Winston's at work and Jess is out putting up fliers so you're going to be alone with the dog. Can you handle that?"
Nick looked unimpressed with what Schmidt was saying. "It's a dog, Schmidt; of course I can handle it."
"I'm serious, Nicholas, this isn't like that time I asked you to watch my goldfish in college."
Nick's expression hardened, but he sighed, "I got it."
And just like that, Nick was left alone with Magic Johnson the dog; the one thing Nick had been dreading since he saw Jess walk through the door with the thing in her arms. "This is my nightmare," he mumbled to himself.
Nick grabbed himself a beer from the fridge and plopped down on the couch. He started flipping through the channels looking for something to watch on TV. Magic sat obediently at his feet and watched him, cocking his head slightly to the side. Nick frowned. "What are you looking at?"
Magic whined and wagged his tail playfully.
"I'm not your friend."
Magic barked excitedly and began prancing around at Nick's feet.
Nick shook his head. "I'm not this guy. You are literally barking up the wrong tree."
Then Magic unexpectedly crawled into Nick's lap and rested his head on his chest, looking up at him with his dark brown eyes. Nick tried to resist the mutt's charms, but failed miserably. "Well, you are kinda cute I guess." As if in agreement, Magic licked Nick's face, wagging his tail wildly. Nick smiled, "Alright, fine, I like ya. But not a word of this gets back to Jess, you hear?" When the dog didn't respond, he took that as a sign that he understood and began petting him.
By the time Jess finished putting up fliers she was exhausted emotionally and physically. She felt like she was in fourth grade all over again with her father telling her she couldn't have a dog. Even though she promised she would look after it, he still hadn't approved. And now her roommates were telling her the exact same things. Deep down she knew that there was probably a family looking for their lost dog, but she felt like she deserved this. She walked back into the loft, but no one appeared to be home. "Nick? Schmidt? I'm home!"
She walked down the hall to Nick's room and found him and Magic on the floor, playing tug of war with one of his socks. She noticed Magic was wearing a blue bandana around his neck. "Not keeping him, huh?" Jess leaned against the doorframe and clicked her tongue at her boyfriend.
Nick stood up suddenly. "Jess! We were just uh… It's not what it looks like!"
"Shut up, clown." She teased.
Magic ran over to Jess and rolled over on his back for her to rub his belly. She obliged and shook her head at Nick.
Schmidt came back with several cartons of Chinese take-out and the three roommates ate in relative silence. Magic sat at their feet and begged for scraps. Nick and Jess had been ogling at each other through the entire meal and when they were finished eating they withdrew into Nick's bedroom with very determined looks on their faces. Schmidt shook his head. "They couldn't be more obvious." He turned his attention to Magic, who was focusing all of his energy on trying to hypnotize Schmidt into giving him food.
"Dogs don't beg."
Magic licked his chops. From across the loft, Schmidt could hear Nick playing his 'Sexy Mix.' Schmidt rolled his eyes. "Okay, you don't need to be listening to that. Come, I'll show you my Armani collection."
Magic cocked his head in interest and followed Schmidt into his room.
Schmidt spent the next hour showing Magic his different outfits. He was in the middle of modeling a Ralph Lauren suit when the phone rang. He ran out into the living room to answer the phone; Magic followed him, yapping at his heels.
After hanging up the phone, Schmidt drug his feet over to Nick's door and knocked on it sadly. Nick opened the door a moment later wearing forest green boxers and a white t-shirt. "What do you want, Schmidt?" He tried to keep a straight face, but it was difficult when his roommate was dressed in such a goofy ensemble.
"Jess, those fliers you put up worked. His owners just called. They'll swing by in a couple hours to pick him up."
Jess got up and slipped on one of Nick's discarded flannel shirts before joining the boys in the living room. They all sat on the couch, moping over the inevitable loss of their new friend.
Winston arrived home after work to find all three of his roommates sitting around the living room, looking fairly glum. "Hey guys, what's up with you?"
"Winston," Jess slurred, holding up a half empty glass of pink wine, "We have to tell you something."
Winston took a quick glance around the room. "Oh no, where's Magic?" His lower lip began to quiver.
"His name's Blackie." Schmidt spat before sucking down his beer.
Jess continued, "His family came to pick him up a while ago. Why should they get to keep him? I found the damn dog; they didn't even want him!" She leaned against Nick's shoulder and he rubbed her back.
"I didn't know it was possible to fall in love with anything so quickly, but that dog was the best damn thing that happened to this loft." Nick said woefully.
Winston sat down between Jess and Schmidt, grabbing a beer off the coffee table. "You mean he's just gone, just like that?" He twisted the bottle open and melded into the couch cushions. "I didn't even get to say goodbye."
"Blackie is a stupid name anyway. Who names their dog Blackie? That's so unoriginal and a little racist." Schmidt pouted.
"Ay, at least we got to chill with him for a little while." Winston said, trying to cheer them up.
Nick nodded in agreement, wrapping his arm around Jess and intertwining his fingers with hers. Jess finished off her wine and set her glass on the table, taking Nick's hand in both of hers and playing with his fingers. "Those kids better appreciate what they have. Some of us weren't lucky enough to have grown up with such an awesome dog."
Schmidt pursed his lips together, "Amen to that."
Winston finally noticed what Schmidt was wearing: a Ralph Lauren polo shirt, khaki Capri pants, designer flip flops, and a sports coat. "Schmidt, what the hell are you wearing?"
Schmidt looked down at his outfit and choked back a sob, "Magic liked it."
Jess stopped fidgeting with Nick's hand and stared at Schmidt. "You took fashion advice from a dog?"
"Hey, he has an excellent sense of style!"
Winston rolled his eyes, "Whatever man, you look ridiculous."
They all shared a laugh and Nick said, "It's probably best that they picked him up when they did. If he stayed here much longer I bet Winston would have tried to take him to the basketball court!"