Jess was sitting in the waiting room of the gynecologist's office reading a glossy tabloid when the receptionist called for her to be seen by the doctor. She entered the cold examination room and sat in the chair. Doctor Sadie came in a few minutes later and asked the routine checkup questions then handed her a gown to slip into for the pelvic exam. When Sadie returned, Jess started some small talk. "So how's that baby boy of yours doing?"

"He's very healthy, we're so happy with him. We named him Riley, after my grandfather." She was clearly ecstatic about being a mother.

"That's awesome, I'm really happy for you, Sadie. If you ever need a babysitter I'll gladly watch him for you."

"Actually, now that you mention it, we could use someone for Saturday. It's our anniversary and I had a picnic all planned out for a day at the beach."

"Saturday works for me." Jess chided.

"It's settled then. I'll drop him off around noon."

The rest of her check up went well with no complications. Jess could hardly wait until Saturday.

On Friday night Jess was feeling a bit under the weather, but she knew Sadie was counting on her to watch Riley, so she took some aspirin and got into bed early that night, hoping she was just tired from a long day. When she woke up on Saturday morning, Jess felt awful. She moaned and rolled away from the sunshine pouring in from the window because it was giving her a massive headache. Nick came into the room to check on her and found her looking miserable.

"Jess, are you alright?" He asked concerned.

"I'm fine, I just need a minute." She tried pushing herself up from her mattress and felt a wave of nausea wash over her, collapsing back onto the pillows, clutching her stomach with one hand and her forehead with the other.

Nick felt her forehead; she was burning up. He frowned. "I hope you didn't have any plans today, because you're not going anywhere."

Jess looked up at him, her blue eyes were cloudy with sickness, "But I promised Sadie I would watch Riley today."

"Well you're going to have to reschedule."

"I can't, Nick. It's her anniversary. I think I'll be okay if I just-" She tried sitting up again and nearly passed out.

Nick pushed her firmly but gently back into her pillows. "You're staying in bed. I can watch him. He's a baby, how hard can it be?"

"Nick, do you know anything about babysitting?" Jess stared at him in disbelief.

"I used to take care of my little brother all the time. I got this, Jess. Besides, the guys can help if I need them."

Jess smiled, curling up underneath her sheets. "Thank you, Nicholas."

"You're welcome, Jessica."

Sadie showed up just before noon with Riley swaddled in his blankets. She looked anxious whenever Nick answered the door, but after he explained Jess's current state of health and his experience with children she seemed to be put at ease. She handed him the diaper bag and explained how often to feed Riley and when he needed to be put down for a nap. Nick waved her off after that, telling her to have a good time on her date and walked over to the kitchen. He set the bag on the counter, clutching Riley tightly to his chest and placed the bottles of breast milk in the fridge. When he was finished, he looked down at the sleeping babe in his arms. He almost wished he could trade places with the little guy; being wrapped in a fuzzy cocoon of blankets all day and on top of that living with two smoking hot lesbians—he definitely envied this kid. He sat down on the couch and just watched Riley sleep. Nick never thought of himself as the fatherly type; he always thought he was too broken to raise a child of his own, but watching this little baby snuggled up in his arms, occasionally letting out a small sigh of content, he started to think maybe this parent thing wasn't such a bad idea.

Schmidt had been in the bathroom showering when Sadie dropped off the baby. He came out wearing a ratty old tee-shirt and black leggings with a towel wrapped around his head. Nick stared at his towel turban briefly before turning his attention back to Riley and muttering, "Jar."

Schmidt stuffed a fiver in the douche bag jar and approached Nick cautiously. "What's with the piglet?"

Nick glanced up at Schmidt long enough to shoot him a glare, then his expression softened as his eyes fell back onto Riley. "He's Sadie's. Jess was going to watch him, but she's sick, so I'm doing it."

"Is this the same guy that let my goldfish die because he thought it was conspiring against him?" Schmidt asked skeptically.

Nick looked up at his roommate, "Schmidt, are you ever going to drop that? It was a stupid fish."

"Rutherford was my friend!" Schmidt noticed he was shouting and added nonchalantly, "He was more than just a fish. He got me through a lot of hard times."

"He didn't even know who you were Schmidt. Goldfish only have three second memories."

"That is a myth! He knew me better than anyone."

Nick grunted, "Are you seriously arguing with me over a fish?"

"He wasn't just any fish, Nicholas!"

Riley started to stir so Nick glared up at him, "Shhhh!"

Winston walked into the room in a white tee-shirt and red plaid pajama bottoms. He sat down on the couch and looked across the room at Nick cradling an infant in his arms, rocking it slightly. "Uh… Nick? Who gave you a baby?"

Schmidt answered for him, "It belongs to Sadie. We're apparently watching it today because Jess is sick." He stared at the tiny infant resentfully.

Winston moved closer to Nick to get a better look at Riley, who opened his eyes and smiled up at him. "Aw, he likes his Uncle Winnie! Can I hold him?"

Nick looked from Riley to Winston reluctantly. He ended up handing the babe over to his roommate, not sure why he hesitated in the first place.

Winston rocked Riley back and forth in his arms, talking to him in an increasingly annoying baby voice, causing Nick and Schmidt to cringe. Apparently, Riley wasn't a big fan of the voice either because he started whining and wiggling around in his blanket. Nick got up and walked over to the fridge, getting out a bottle to soothe him. He handed the bottle to Winston, who immediately rejected it.

"Nick, what are you doing? You can't give a baby cold milk!"

Nick made his turtle face, "What do you mean? What am I supposed to give him?"

Schmidt scoffed and sauntered toward Nick, plucking the bottle out of his hands. "You have to heat it up or he won't drink it."

Nick scratched his head as Schmidt put the bottle in the microwave. "I've never heard of that rule before. Is it new?"

Winston rolled his eyes. "It's common knowledge Nick."

When the milk was warm, Schmidt tested it on his wrist and handed the bottle to Winston who began feeding Riley. Nick watched the baby suckle on the bottle with fascination.

"You act like you've never seen a baby before, Nicholas." Schmidt said calmly.

Nick shrugged, "I usually try to avoid them whenever I can. They're just so creepy with their giant eyes watching you all the time."

Schmidt stared at him. "I thought you liked big eyes."

Nick knew he was referring to Jess, so he punched him in the arm. Schmidt retaliated by slapping him upside the head. Nick grabbed Schmidt and pulled him onto the ground, wrestling him. Winston cleared his throat sternly. "Ay you two, grow up. You don't want to set a bad example for the kid."

Schmidt shoved Nick off of him and sat down on the couch, pulling the towel off of his head. Nick resumed watching Riley feed until the baby got tired and started to drift off. Winston shifted him in his arms turning to the guys. "Either of you want to hold him?" My arms are getting tired.

Schmidt held his hands up as if in defense. "Not me, man, babies and I have a mutual understanding to stay away from each other."

Nick rolled his eyes and relieved Winston of the baby. He reclaimed his spot on the couch and continued to stare at Riley with awe. "Is this all they do all day? 'Cause I'll be honest, I could get used to this."

Schmidt and Winston gave each other a knowing look. Winston rubbed the back of his neck before standing up and stretching. "I'm going to go shower. Have fun."

Schmidt nodded, getting up as well. "And I'm going to go do a bit of reading in my room."

"Yeah sure, have fun." Nick mumbled, not taking his eyes off of Riley.

Nick's eyes were starting to feel heavy until Riley began to cry. He spoke in a soothing tone to try and calm him down, but he kept getting more and more upset. Nick looked around the apartment uneasily, hoping someone could lend him some assistance, but Winston was still in the bathroom and Schmidt was doing god knows what in his room. Nick started to panic and then he smelled something really foul. He stared down at Riley with a disgusted look on his face. "Oh come on, man."

Riley's face contorted and he began to wail. Nick hurried over to the kitchen and grabbed the diaper bag, then returned to the living room and placed the baby gently on the coffee table. With one hand still on Riley, he dug through the bag until he found a fresh diaper and then he got to work unwrapping his stinky 'present.' He managed to get the dirty diaper off, setting it to the side, not sure what to do with it, then he just stared at Riley who was bare bottomed on the coffee table, with his disgruntled turtle face. Nick dug through the diaper bag again and found a package of wipes to clean off Riley's bottom and then he grabbed the clean diaper and just stared at it for a moment. "How the hell am I supposed to put this on you?" He stared at it for another few seconds before Riley started kicking his legs and a stream of urine began to shoot up into the air. Nick stared wide eyed at the aerial display, barely having time to put the diaper in front of his face in order to stop the spray from soaking him. When he was finished peeing, Riley giggled and Nick grunted in reply. "That wasn't funny."

Winston finally came out of the bathroom while Nick was awkwardly trying to put the diaper on Riley. He walked over and assisted Nick in putting the diaper on the baby. "Is there any powder in there?"

Nick fished through the diaper bag and pulled out a giant container of baby powder which Winston proceeded to pour into Riley's diaper. Riley continued to giggle and when they had sufficiently made a mess, Winston taped up the diaper and swaddled Riley once more in his blanket.

"Thanks man, I was never going to figure that out." Nick confessed.

Winston just gave him a thumbs up in return and headed over to the kitchen to grab himself a beer. He offered Nick one, but he turned it down. Nick found himself staring into Riley's eyes and Riley stared back at him curiously. Winston threw away the dirty diaper and sat down, taking a long pull from his beer. Schmidt reemerged from his room and rejoined his roommates on the sofa. They sat together, watching the baby whose eyes were trained on Nick's face. Winston chuckled to himself and then said, "Look at us, three men and a baby. Just like the movie."

Schmidt grinned. "If we're three men and a baby, I'm definitely Ted Danson, the handsome one."

Winston nearly choked on his beer. "If you're Ted Danson then I'm Tom Selleck. I've already got the glorious 'stache."

"I'm still not convinced that's not a shadow." Schmidt teased.

Winston reprimanded him and the two bickered for a while before Nick finally spoke up, "I hate you both. If you're Ted Danson and Tom Selleck that leaves me to be the goofy guy that no one remembers."

Schmidt and Winston looked at Nick, then at each other, then back and Nick, nodding in agreement.

"You are pretty goofy, Nicholas." Schmidt stated.

"Yeah man, there's nothing wrong with being that guy." Winston added.

Nick shook his head, returning his attention to Riley once more. They talked in low tones for a while so as not to upset the infant, but it was no use as he grew fussier by the minute. Soon he was wailing again. Nick tried his best to quiet his cries, to no avail.

"Maybe he needs changing." Schmidt suggested.

Winston shook his head, "We just changed him."

"Maybe we should try feeding him again." Nick offered. Winston prepared another bottle from the fridge, but Riley wouldn't suckle from it. Nick groaned and Schmidt suddenly began singing out of nowhere.

"Goodnight sweetheart, well it's time to go."

Nick frowned. "What are you doing, Schmidt?"

"Three men and a baby, it worked in the movie." He continued singing.

Nick stared at him. "That was a movie, Schmidt! Real life can't be solved with a musical number!"

Winston decided it couldn't hurt to try, so he joined Schmidt in attempting to lull Riley to sleep. Riley stopped wailing, but he was still fussing, watching Nick intently.

"It's working!" Winston exclaimed.

Nick hesitated. Riley was still staring at him, wide-eyed. He recognized the look in his eyes, the same look he saw on Jess's face so many times, and didn't want to let him down. He joined his roommates in the same three part harmony from Three Men and a Baby and Riley was fast asleep in no time. Schmidt and Winston high fived and went off to their rooms.

Sadie arrived an hour later to pick up Riley and thanked Nick for watching him for her. After she left he went into Jess's room to check on her. Jess was sitting up in bed and she looked much better.

"Hey, are you feeling better?" Nick asked casually.

"Much." She answered, smiling up at him, "Thanks for covering for me today."

He took a seat on the edge of her bed and took her hand in his. "It was no problem. I had a lot of fun actually."

Jess grinned wider. "I heard you singing."

Nick chuckled. "Oh, you did, did you?"

"Nick Miller, am I starting to rub off on you?"

Nick held her hand up to his lips and kissed it gently. "What do you mean 'starting to'?" He leaned forward and kissed her forehead gingerly.