Chapter 4 - Stranger to Me

"I'm so sorry!" said Natsuru. He was bowing to Natsume, apologizing for his lack of attention. Even though he had been the one who suggested they went out to eat, he didn't have enough money on him to pay for their food. He was close to covering his own meal though, if that means anything. He felt really bad about it, trying to act cool and manly totally backfired on him.

"Don't worry about it," laughed Natsume. She crossed her arms, shielding her chest from the piercing cold of the December night. She laughed to herself, watching her breath as its warmth permeated the freezing air. "But it's just like you to do that."

He looked at her. "Is that so?" he smiled. Scratching the back of his head, he looked up at the sky. The moon was hiding behind a thin layer of clouds as its glow enveloped the area around him. The way its alluring light shown on her skin made her look ethereal. He swallowed.

She took notice to him. "What is it?" asked Natsume.

"Just enjoying the view," he replied. "Is that okay?" There was an unusual sound of tact and confidence in his voice. He himself was even surprised that he said it so clearly.

Natsume looked surprised. She too noticed his unusual but admittedly attractive tone. Where he learned how to speak like that was beyond her. "A lady can get uneasy when a man stares. But I don't mind." She shrugged at the last part, hoping to give off the impression that she was not fazed by his wiles.

Natsuru made a nervous laugh, scratching the back of his head. His heart started beating faster. Similar to that experience when you feel as if your advances have failed. No matter. They reached Natsuru's apartment complex. It was lit by a couple of streets lights that were on either side of the complex. Walking up to his unit, he pulled his keys out of his pocket, they jingled as he did so. He turned to Natsume who stood beside him. "Would you like to step in before you leave?" he asked.

"Sure" she said.

Natsuru nodded and opened the door to a dark room. He promptly flipped the switch near the wall, turning on the lights. "I'll get some tea going," he said as he took off his shoes.

"Actually, do you have any beer?" she asked.

He turned around slowly. He wasn't sure if he heard her right. "Did you ask if I had any beer?"

She simply nodded and was taking off her thick coat. She set it down next to her as she turned on the kotatsu and slipped underneath it. She shivered as she turtled up under the kotatsu, eagerly awaiting for it to heat up. "Is it no good?" she asked.

"N-No, I think I have some. Let me check." Natsuru took his coat off as well and threw it into the corner of the room. He thought for a minute. What kind of development has he gotten himself into? He walked into the kitchen as he pondered. He was starting to get a little nervous, but excited at the same time. I'm going to be drinking with a woman alone… is what was going through his head. He shook his head. He shouldn't think that way, he must suppress those lewd and lustful thoughts building up inside him.

He opened up the refrigerator, its light illuminating the semi-dark kitchen. Peering into its contents, he spotted an entire case of untouched alcoholic beverages. Natsuru doesn't even remember buying this much beer. He wondered why he bought so much in the first place. He shrugged and tore into the cardboard, grabbing two nicely cooled cans. He walked back into the living room and set the cans down, taking his side under the kotatsu.

"By the way," he started. "Will you be okay heading home alone?" He passed one of the cans over to her.

She smiled "It's alright, I wasn't planning on going home tonight."

Natsuru's eyes widened as she finished her sentence. He closed his eyes and thought for a moment, then looked at Natsume. "Well you could stay here if you'd like." There, he said it. He then busied himself by looking for the remote for the television as to not remain in awkward eye contact. He was just playing it by ear and going along with the flow.

"That'd be great!" she said. There was excitement in her voice. Natsuru glanced over at her and smiled before resuming his search for the remote. The kotatsu was warmed up now, and she could already feel its comfortable warmth. She sighed as she rested her head down on the table. The television came to life, followed by the sounds of an intro to some show. Natsuru slowly moved to the kotatsu and slid underneath it.

"May I ask why you wanted beer?" Natsuru was looking at his can, observing it before looking to Natsume.

"Hmm. Think of it as a toast. A toast for myself!" she lifted her can in front of him, prompting him to do the same.

Natsuru laughed. "A toast for yourself huh? Aren't you kind?" he teased. They both opened their cans with the sound of the click of from aluminum.

"Cheers," they said in unison. They both took a sip before setting their cans down on the table.

Natsume fidgeted a little and sighed. "I never thought that I'd be doing this…" she trailed off. "I'm really happy right now, Natsuru." She smiled. It wasn't a regular smile, the way she looked at him sent shivers down his spine. Her smile reverberated through him, tapping at some part deep inside him that made him feel…warm.

"I don't know if you still feel the same way about me now, but…" she hesitated, looking off to the side for a moment. She looked at him again and said, "But I still love you, and I always will."

Natsuru could see the emotion behind her words. It made him recoil for a moment. But still, he was a little unsure of himself and of his own feelings. He knows that he had once given himself to this person, but something inside him felt strange. He couldn't explain it, but he to meet her halfway. "I may not be the Natsuru you once knew. But even so, please help me to remember why I fell for you."

"Cheers!"

The two swiftly gulped down yet another can of beer. Natsuru could feel his adam's apple bog up and down as made quick work of his. He slammed the empty can down on the table and exhaled in satisfaction. Natsume soon followed, trailing only a few seconds before him. "I win!" laughed Natsuru. There were a good amount of empty cans on the table, evidence to their drinking frenzy.

"Damn it!" said Natsume whose face was bright red. This was a prime example of the 'Asian-glow', when Asians drink too much, their faces take on a shade of bright pink. "This is still a big improvement for me though. I usually can't drink this much," she boasted. She was feeling tipsy no doubt, but the effects of the alcohol were slowly creeping up on her. She could feel it, and it felt admittedly good.

Natsuru was content with just looking at Natsume. He was able to hold his alcohol pretty well, but he was also starting to feel it. She hiccupped. Once. Twice. Thrice. He laughed at her, staring at her cute bright red face.

"Stop making fun of me," she said, pointing a finger at him. She sounded serious, but she was actually ecstatic inside. Her senses were going hazy and she started to feel drowsy. She groaned out loud, cradling her head in her arms as she rested atop the table. Another hiccup escaped her lips.

"You okay there?" asked Natsuru. He placed a hand on her arm, nudging her for a response. Instead, she groaned and mumbled some inaudible words. Natsuru stopped only to proceed to poke her face, with every poke she groaned. For whatever reason, he found it entertaining to tease her. He continued to poke her until she lashed out at him, grabbing his arm. Natsuru jerked and stumbled back in surprise, with Natsume grip still firm on his arm.

Before he realized it, Natsume was on top of him, clinging onto his arms. Their faces were close to the point where they could feel the heavy breaths of one another. Natsuru could feel his heart race as his face became hot. But Natsume seemed to be unfazed as she looked at him, lips slightly perched.

"What would any guy do in this situation?" asked Natsume. Her voice was almost at a whisper, her tone was tempting.

As dense as Natsuru was, he understood perfectly what she meant. As he looked into her mesmerizing blue orbs, her inviting lips, her expression, her locks of soft blue that hung over him, he could feel his urges slowly rising. Natsuru quickly sat up, catching Natsume by surprise. He held her by her arms, staring at her as she stared back, eagerly awaiting him. "I'm sorry," was all he said.

"Why?" she asked in a hushed voice. Disappointment showed on her face as her eyes lost spirit. Natsume felt a pang of pain, having been rejected from the man she loved. But it wasn't his fault; he'd lost his memories along with his feelings for her. She knew this, but it still hurt to not have her feelings returned. Her emotions were in a mess. "At least that part about you is still there," she laughed.

"You're like a stranger to me," she said. Natsume felt the tears welling up inside her, but she bit her lip and swallowed it. She couldn't cry anymore, she had to be endure it. She furrowed her eyebrows and closed her eyes, trying her best to stay the tears. To her surprise, her body flinched she felt a pair of arms envelope her. They were felt strong but gentle, they slowly pulled her into Natsuru's chest. He pulled her in tight. Natsume's hands were pressed up against his chest. She could feel the definition of his physique through his shirt.

"I'm sorry," said Natsuru. He lowered his head, his mouth almost touching her ears. "It wouldn't be fair for me to take advantage of you like this," he said softly.

Natsume stayed silent, content with just his presence and his embrace. She slowly began to relax, giving herself up to Natsuru. "Idiot…" She wouldn't have cared what he did with her, as long as it was with Natsuru. Then again, it was very much like him to prude with these kinds of things. She smiled knowing that his personality had not changed.

"W-What? Why am I the idiot?" asked Natsuru. She said nothing and continued to lay in his arms, smiling like a fool until sleep overtook her.

Would you guys rather I update faster with shorter chapters? Or the other way around?