well here is ch 4 thanks to those who have offered words of encouragement it is appreciated. any suggestions or comments are always welcomed as I'm really flying by the seat of my pants except for a general outline of major plot points for this.

so here it is ch 4

I OWN NOTHING

Light slowly started to filter into my eyes as I started to stir from my rest. As my eyes opened I took in the pale walls and colored panes of glass above my head, I tried to sit up and that's when I realized that I indeed had a bullet hole in the side of my stomach and immediately yelled out and fell back down onto the bed. It was then the door opened and a rather tall man draped in a black robe entered the room and took a seat next to my bed. He just sat there and observed me for several moments nodding and looking my over from head to toe. "I am glad to see that you have awakened my son, you had me worried there for a while. At any rate you should be out of the woods now and as long as you keep that wound of yours there clean you should be just fine and make a speedy recovery." I just sat there in the bed not sure what exactly to make of this man, sitting up to a twinge of pain I still had not uttered a single word. The mystery man just grabbed my shoulders to steady me. "Where are my manners? My name is Father Calhoun and you stumbled into my church four days ago in quite the bad condition uttering all kinds of crazy madness of terrible people and things. Soon after you wandered into the church you made me promise one thing and only one thing and that was to let no one know of your being here and I felt that if you were in that bad of a condition but could still make that kind of a request, well obviously it was the will of the lord and I followed your request. You are just lucky that I served as a medic in the military for a number of years before my time as a member of the clergy." I just sat there thinking who the hell is this guy and what the hell is going on and that's when it all came rolling back to me the deal that went bad at Murph's place and how I had murdered him, how I am now a killer just a killer forever. I was so deep I thought I had not noticed the priest get up and get a pot of tea and pour two cups and as he was handing me a cup I was pulled from the deep haunting thought of the trigger pull that will never leave me. As I reach out for the cup my hand was shaking so hard that I had to use the other hand just to steady it momentarily before I could compose myself. "Thank you for everything I really do appreciate it my name is" just as I was about to tell him my name he threw his hand up. "Considering the nature of the wound that I just treated for you my son I think that it will be best that I know as little as possible about whom you actually are besides you know generalities, so no names on your part. That way I can be ignorant to any questions that may arise at any later point. Do you understand?" I just slowly nodded my head.

"So I've been out for the last four days and you have just been tending to my wounds for what?"

"Ha Ha, Ha, my son you were obviously brought to me for this reason I was meant to help you I require nothing from you it is just my mission in life to help those who need my help, the lord brings them to me and then I help them it is how it work I do not question it, although if you really wanted to do something there is one thing that I would ask." "Oh so there is a catch there is always a catch when you are dealing with people, so what do you want money?"

"No I don't want money I want you to find happiness and piece in your life. You need to take this event and make something happen to go in a different direction for yourself because you are quite clearly heading in the wrong direction and you are going to be making a clean start somewhere so try to make it a good one." I just laughed at his ability to read the situation that I was in, slowly sipping my tea and running one hand through my long hair I pondered where I should go and what I should do now. "Well father if I knew where I was going I would say yeah why not go for the happy ending but, I haven't a clue as to where my life is heading and I'm hanging on for dear life right now so I guess I am open to suggestions. I couldn't really hurt right."

"Well my son I would say that you chase that love you lost so long ago and you go home again."

"What…how... the…how do you know about that!?"

"Well you kept mumbling names in your sleep one more than others I assume they are friends from the past and a past love most likely."

"Well god damn father that is fucking spot on" father Calhoun just looked at me with a vicious gaze

"Language my son language we are in the lord's house please do not be disrespectful of that, and anyway you talk in your sleep so it really isn't hard to put your past together my son."

"Father honestly I would love to go home but, there is just to many things that I can't face back there and it has only gotten worse since I left. No none back home will want anything to do with me ever since I screwed up and took off I haven't gone back. In fact at one point I swore to never return even though I do technically do still own my childhood home, my mom left it to me when she passed a couple years ago. Now it sits uninhabited as far as I know."

"My son my advice is that life is full challenges and adversity and we always have choices that will define what will make us right now you have a choice. You obviously cannot stay where you are now you can run off to some random=m spot and try to get by or you can follow what your heart is trying to tell you to do and sometimes that is the best indicator that we have. We just have to look inside of ourselves and say am I happy if the answer is yes then you are in the correct place doing the right thing for yourself, but if the answer is no you have to truly ask yourself what I want. And truly you want to return home and see if you can find some kind of closure to your past mistakes so that you can finally move on with your life whether it be in your home or it be just a temporary stop on a broader journey for your happiness. So right now you need to take these keys that I have to a 1978 Chevele that is parked in the back alley and drive yourself out of this place while you still have the chance." With that I took the clue as he glanced through a window behind the priest and noticed a nun distracting two thugs from the pick's gang. I stood up threw on a shirt hugged the priest grabbed the keys and slid out the back window into the back alley.

Now there was just the minor mission of trying to find the bags. I know I threw them into a vent that was above my head and attached to a church. I looked and looked through the alley but was coming up empty. Until I noticed the bright light of the cross that had brought me to the realization of the church the night of the running in the first place so I turned around and sure enough there was the vent. I popped off the cover and grabbed the bags. Running to the car and threw them into the back and I headed to the highway and got on. Taking the time while I'm driving to open the bag of drugs grab some powder and shovel it into my nose. Speeding down the interstate I stated top yell out the window "Woo!" That will definitely get me through on the way there oh yeah "HERE WE GO SEATTLE HERE I COME! "

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