meh, idk how i feel about this chapter. i have a headcanon that ghostliness makes things chaotic neutral, and also avoiding using the word dead/death/died is REALLY HARD and just urgh. i wrote this in chunks so if it feels choppy feel free to let me know. also would anyone be willing to take the plunge and edit this? or provide constructive criticism? that'd be gr8

o also, idk where i should go next with this, so what would you people be more interested in seeing? feel free to be as specific as possible3 ok this an has gone on long enough here's the story:

The funeral was a modest affair.

The wake was held downstairs, in the home, which Spencer was somewhat grateful for; he didn't feel like he was quite up for leaving the house just yet. It was a closed casket affair- apparently hitting pavement face-first didn't do much for appearances- and Spencer was surprised by the amount of people present.

Principle Ponzi was there, offering condolences to his mother while taking full advantage of the food table. It was obvious to anyone with half a brain cell that he was only here to gorge on Mrs. Wright's home cooking, rather than mourn the death of a student he wasn't particularly fond of. During a private moment with Spencer's casket, when he thought no one was listening, Spencer heard him snicker and take credit for driving the teen to the edge. Spencer was tempted to jump him then and there, shove him to the ground, slam his face into a plate of food, knock out a few of his teeth, anything to punish the old coot for even daring to think that he could influence him in such a- woah woah, where were these thoughts coming from? Spencer shook his head, trying to knock some sense into himself.

Spencer decided to continue drifting about the room, seeing who else showed up. In the corner he spotted Lolo, oddly enough. She was crying, what appeared to be genuine tears, and even stranger was the fact that she was crying on Rajeev's shoulder. He comforted her with a soft "there there" and a pat on her back. Spence couldn't help but smile at that. His bro was finally getting the girl. If he had known all it would take was his departure from the mortal realm, maybe he would've done it sooner. Anything to help a friend, Spencer quickly rationalized to himself. He wasn't ready to admit that somewhere, deep down, he had kind of been hoping for this scenario.

He wasn't really ready to admit that before moving to Beverly Heights, and meeting Billy, he would've done anything to move on from this earthly plane of existence, if it weren't for his own fears of the unknown. He wasn't willing to admit, that had this happened two years ago, the first thing he would've done would be to thank Billy, not be upset with him. He would never admit that despite his initial opposition, with each passing moment, Spencer felt more comfortable, more right, like this had been the state of being he was intended to be in from the moment he was born.

But no, that wasn't true, how could being a ghost feel right? Especially considering what that implied about his current state of existence. It meant he was… not alive. It meant no longer breathing, no longer feeling the air on your skin, no longer running into a stranger on the street and awkwardly apologizing, it meant no more satisfying splashes after jumping into the pool. But while Spencer's rational mind knew that his condition, for lack of a better word, was not something he should be desirous of, he felt a stirring in his very soul. Like this was ok.

Vaguely, he recalled a conversation he had with Billy when they had first met. He asked what it was like to be a ghost, and Billy said that first he was tired, but then he was fine with it. He said being all ghosty felt right, and normal, though he couldn't quite place why. Never once did Spencer consider that perhaps Billy's quick acceptance of his altered form was not of his own doing, and even now Spencer did not consider that perhaps acceptance of the ghostly form was inherently part of being a ghost. He didn't want to consider that perhaps, being a ghost didn't just change you physically, but mentally as well.

If he had really thought about it he would've remembered Billy wasn't nearly as impulsive and reckless when he was alive. If he had really thought about it he would've realized that everything the ecto touched was changed to something chaotic. Not quite good, not quite bad, just chaotic. Even he himself had been more inclined to engage in risky behaviors during his short time as a temporary ghost, and even now it was taking a great deal of self-control to not knock over a vase, or pour water down Ponzi's jacket, just to prove he was there.

Spencer was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't notice Billy had drifted next to him until the older spirit used his shoulder as an arm rest and commented, "Pretty lavish, eh lil bro? Of course, nowhere near as posh as mine was, but you were there, so of course you know."

"Huh?" Spencer took a moment to process Billy's words, "Oh yeah, pretty great. It seems like everyone from school is here though. Weird."

And true enough, most of his peers were present. Even Kleet had shown, much to Jessica's displeasure, though Spencer couldn't fathom why he would care about his passing. Spencer scanned the crowd, trying to put names to faces, but it was difficult, and he gave up after the 3rd or 4th nameless face.

One person was strangely absent. Shanila. Kleet, Mallory, Lolo, even iStevie had made it. And Spencer wasn't even friends with them. Rajeev was here, so where was she? "Hey Billy," he turned to his best bro, who was still idly observing the crowd.

"Yeah?"

"Have you seen Shanila?" Billy floated a step back from Spencer and put his hand on his chin thoughtfully.

"Now that you mention it, no. If anyone showed up at all you'd think it'd be her."

Spencer let out a sigh, "Weird." He wanted to see his friends, but he didn't want to interrupt Rajeev and spoil his chances with Lolo. Ghost or no, he was still a bro. With no sign of his other friend, there was really no reason for Spencer to stay downstairs. He wasn't ready to face his family yet, and he needed to spend some more time sorting through his feelings. What he really needed was someone to talk to that wasn't Billy. Someone who wouldn't blindly try to convince him that this was a good thing, and could look at his situation from an objective stand point. "You know what Billy, I think I'm gonna go back to my room, maybe take a nap."

Billy smiled at his friend and watched him drift off, "Alright brotato chip, I'll be down here if you need me."

After another 5 minutes of loitering around, eating the food, and knocking Ponzi's wig off, Billy decided that he had enough of Spencer's wake. He knew that he didn't have to say any final good byes, and with Spencer upstairs there was really no point in him staying, so he decided to follow Spencer's example and retire to their shared living space.

When he got upstairs he saw Spencer asleep over his bed, the blanket draped around him like he had simply floated up after falling asleep on the mattress, which was more than likely what had happened.

Wow did Spencer look like an angel. Billy sat cross-legged in the air level with Spencer as he watched the unconscious rise and fall of his chest. Breathing was something that was optional, like sleep, but even as a ghost you can still feel tired if you're emotionally drained, or bored enough, and the breathing habit was one that was hard to break even when it was a little superfluous.

Spencer did seem a little bummed that Shanila didn't show. She was his friend after all, and he probably needed her right now. Billy understood, though he wasn't too thrilled about it, he knew that eventually Spencer would accept his ghostliness and Rajeev, Shanila, Spencer, and himself could hang out again like normal.

Billy couldn't wait to see Spencer smile again. He knew that it would be all worth it to have his friend with him forever. Sure, he might be hurting or feeling a little off right now, but soon, Billy knew he'd have his old Spencer back. Good as new, only better. And Billy couldn't wait.