wow dang been a while. I'm sorry about that. Life, it happens, along with writer's block. what're ya gonna do? I think I'm gonna bang out another 1.4k words or so in the next two days but don' t hold me to that. i feel like spencer's mom is a little ooc but idk how to fix that. his parents are a little one dimensional in the series and don't really seem to be there for spencer too often. i feel like if anyone'd have a serious reaction to spencer's death, it'd be jessica, but im not sure if i wanna include her. thoughts?

When Spencer next awoke it was dark out, and Billy was nowhere to be found. The blanket was rumpled on the bed, and Spencer was floating above it. He must have unconsciously drifted above the bed when he fell asleep and the blanket must've fallen off of him. Not that he minded much anyway. He stretched and popped his back before scanning the room for Billy. It was then that he heard a quiet sobbing coming from the recliner he usually sat in.

He drifted over to investigate and realized that it was his mother. This was her first time up in his room since the incident. Spencer was kind of glad for it, though. The last thing he needed was her noticing that things had been shifted around in his room and suspecting some sort of supernatural entity. Not that she would have been wrong, of course, but the last thing he needed was some hastily hired ghost exterminators. Not when he was too busy trying to cope with his new existence.

His mom sniffled, wiped the tears from her eyes before quietly choking out, "I just wish I knew where we went wrong."

"Oh mom," Spencer whispered, even though he knew she couldn't hear it. He kneeled next to her, careful not to touch her, even though he wanted to wrap her in a comforting hug. He knew what it felt like to be hugged by a ghost, and if you didn't know what was going on it could be very unpleasant. "You didn't go wrong," he told her, "it wasn't anyone's fault." That was a lie. It was Billy's fault. But Spencer couldn't blame the elder ghost. He didn't know why he couldn't, but he just couldn't. He felt tied to him somehow. Like everything was ok. He was ok. He just needed to let his mom know that. If only there was a way he could communicate-

It was then he had an idea. He went to his night stand, and very carefully pulled out a pen and paper, so as not to draw attention to himself. He needed to comfort his mom, but he didn't want her suspecting he would be staying on the mortal plane. Carefully he scribbled out "Mom, I'm alright. Nothing went wrong. I'm going to heaven now. I love you." Short and to the point. Enough to let his mom know he was ok, and not exactly a lie. Who could really say what heaven was? Fluffy clouds and a strange god figure? Pearly gates? Pizza and video games with your best friend? Staying in his arms? Being close to family? They all seemed pretty heavenly to Spencer. Except the 'Staying in his arms' bit. Where had that come from?

He drifted back over to his mom, and hovered over her head before dropping the sheet of paper directly in front of her. He watched her pick it up and read it over. Tears spilled from her eyes again, but she was smiling. Her baby boy was ok. He may be gone, but he would be ok. That was all she really wanted to know. That he would be alright. Even if it was just the last of Spencer's special effects, and unactivated booby trap that was tripped when she entered to give his family a false sense of security after his departure, it still helped. She carefully folded the paper, and stood up, but not before choking out another sob. When she got downstairs she would de-activate the elevator. Her son was gone. But maybe not entirely. Maybe, if no one came in here, if no one could come in here, she could pretend. Pretend Spencer was alright, just in one of his moods. This room was toxic to her, and right now she couldn't afford a depression. She had a daughter and husband to look after. She would have to be strong for them. It was what Spencer would've wanted.

When she left, Billy phased in through the window. He must've been out there the whole time. "Hey," he greeted quietly, noticing Spencer's sad mood. Nervously, he scratched the back of his neck. "I uh, thought you could use some time alone with the mom unit, 's why I left."

Timidly, Spencer smiled from his spot on the bed. But it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I'll never see her again."

"Hey, bromighost, don't say that, it's not like she's moving or anything." Billy inched closer and waved his arms a little in an effort to be comforting.

"No, I mean, I may as well never see her again." He inspected his ghostly sneakers. Billy took a spot next to him on the bed, and Spencer was surprised when he maintained a respectful distance.

"Just give her some of your gear; it'll be like you never became a ghost."

"Wow I didn't think of that, tool bag." Billy grinned at the momentary return of Spencer's sarcasm, but it left him just as quickly when he somberly continued, "I couldn't do that to her. I'm gone, man. That's ok though. Cause I don't have to leave." He fell back on the bed and stared at the ceiling, his luminescent blue hair spreading out at odd angles on the comforter. "Maybe one day I'll change my mind but for now, I just gotta let them get on with their lives."

Billy followed suit and plopped down as well, turning on his side to look at Spencer. There was a sadness in his eyes, but something else was there too. ReliefΒΈ Billy quickly realized. Without really thinking, he pulled spencer into him, his chest flush against his friend's back, their legs splaying awkwardly off the side of the bed. Spencer moved fully onto the bed, holding Billy's arm in place as a non-verbal cue that this was ok. Billy followed, and soon found himself spooning his little cousin, resting his chin on his soft hair. In an uncharacteristic moment of tenderness he whispered, "Everything'll be alright."

He felt small sobs come from the boy next to him, and he held him tighter. Spencer wasn't ready to leave life yet. Somewhere in the back of his mind Billy knew this, but he ignored that part of himself. Spencer needed this. He was his happiest as a ghost. As a ghost they could be together without anyone thinking Spencer was crazy. Billy saw how the stress of people thinking he was insane would wear on Spencer each and every day. Billy heard the whispers at the wake while Spencer was occupied elsewhere. The whispers of he finally cracked, and I knew he was off but I never imagined. Billy knew that Spencer did his best to ignore it before he turned into a ghost. Knew how deep every off-hand comment about Spencer talking to himself, or arguing with his dessert cut into his very soul. This way, Spencer wouldn't be hurt by the words and opinions of others. He couldn't be. This was right, this was best, and Billy knew that. It was just a matter of time before Spencer realized that as well.