Author's Notes:
Thanks for all the support and love. It is GREATLY appreciated. I enjoyed all the mini convos about the sotry and I hope you all did as well.
It's about to get tough guys. I warned earlier (before the moderators took it down) that this story was not for the faint hearted. This is why…
She shows up. He sits anxiously for a full three minutes before she does, but he's grateful when he sees her. She doesn't say a word to him. She doesn't sit beside him. She doesn't even look at him. He hasn't seen her since the doctor's office the day before. She has spent yet another night at Peter's. Dr. Pekoe calls them into her office and they both sit at separate ends of the couch.
Dr. Pekoe takes note as she begins their session. "I see we're back to separate ends of the couch." Neither of them say a word and Dr. Pekoe realizes that it's going to be one of those sessions. She also realizes that if she doesn't get the ball rolling it will never move. "So does either of you want to tell me what's up?" Again neither of them answer. "You guys were doing very well when we met last week. So, what's happened since then?"
"You want to tell her or should I?" Elliot asks. Olivia doesn't say a word. "Fine then. Olivia's been seeing Peter behind my back. I found out when he texted her to congratulate her on the babies."
"Babies? You guys are having twins?"
"Found out yesterday," Olivia supplies softly.
"Congratulations."
"Thank you," she replies.
"So you've started seeing Peter again?"
"Not in the way Elliot makes it seem. We're just friends."
"And you kept that from me."
"Because you wouldn't understand!"
"Because you promised me. Promised me right here in this office right here in front of Dr. Pekoe that you would stop talking to him. That you would cut off all communication with him and you didn't. You lied."
"I withheld information."
"No, you lied!"
"Well, if it makes you feel better, fine! I lied! Are you happy now?! Is that what you want to hear?"
"No, what would make me happy is if you stopped pretending that what you have with him is innocent. For God's sake you brought him to your OB appointment."
"I didn't think you were going to show up and I didn't want to be alone. He offered to come with me, and he was the perfect gentleman the whole time."
"Yea, because he's trying to get into your pants."
"You think I'm that easy, don't you?"
"He didn't have to work very hard the last time."
Her eyes flash with pain then quickly turn to rage. "I can't believe this. I'm out of here," she grabs her purse and makes to leave, but Dr. Pekoe stops her.
"Olivia, take a seat. We need to work through this. Elliot, why does Olivia's friendship with Peter bother you so much? Do you think she's lying when she says he's just a friend?"
"No. I believe her."
"Then what's the issue? You seem to harbor some serious resentment towards him. More than just any old ex-boyfriend or the like. What is it about Peter that bothers you so much?" Elliot is quiet for a long time and when he doesn't say anything Dr. Pekoe prods him some more. "Elliot. Tell her how you feel."
He turns to Olivia. "I feel like you have a bond with him. And it scares me, because I feel like the bond you have with him is deeper than the one you have with me. Stronger than what we have and that scares the shit outta me. Because I know something had to be there for you to sleep with him the first time. And something has to be there now for you to be friends with him and hide it from me. Something that makes you feel the need to hide it from me."
"Olivia, how do you feel about Peter?" Dr. Pekoe asks.
"He's just a really good friend. He's someone I feel like I can talk to, and I need that."
"You don't feel like you can talk to your husband?"
"Sometimes I do. Most times I don't."
"Why?"
"Because he makes me feel…inadequate. Like I'm doing everything wrong. Like I'm still not good enough for him or stupid."
"When have I ever made you feel like that?" Elliot asks dubiously.
"Like when I mentioned us starting to potty train Kayla. You completely wrote me off like I was an idiot for suggesting such a thing."
"That's because she's two."
"Which is a perfect age according to the books I've read-"
"Books," Elliot scoffs.
"See. You say condescending shit like that, and expect me not to be offended."
"Look. Kathy and I tried it with Maureen when she was about Kayla's age. It didn't work. She wet herself all the time and it was just a hassle and a mess. We waited until she was a little bit older and could understand better what we were trying to do and she got it with very little trouble. We waited till the other three were the same age, and we did it with very little problems. I just thought we should wait a bit. That's all I was saying."
"And I'm not Kathy, and Kayla isn't Maureen or any of your other kids. The least you could do was agree to try it. With me. Your wife. Not Kathy. It was something we could have handled together. As parents to our daughter. But no, instead you belittled me and completely wrote me off. Well guess what? I went ahead with it anyway. She's been diaper-less for almost two weeks now, and we've only had two incidents."
"No," he shakes his head. Confused about what he is hearing. "I dressed her the other day. She had a diaper on."
"I put it on her because she didn't have a chance to go before bed that night and I knew she would end up having an accident. I called ahead to the day care center that day and had them take off the diaper you put on her. They say she's been doing fine with the training the whole time."
"Well, I guess I was wrong. But you know. I feel like I can't talk to you either. I feel like everything I say to you gets taken the wrong way or blown up out of proportion. When we were partners I used to be able to say anything to you, and now I feel like I have to screen my sentences and have them proofread before I can say them to you."
"Elliot, when we were partners the things you said hurt then just as they do now, except now they hurt more because I'm your wife. Back then you were just my partner. That was it. We couldn't fight all the time because we needed to get along. I needed to be able to trust that you would have my back and you needed to be able to trust that I would have yours. But then I could go home. Pour myself a glass of wine and try to get over it. Or go out with someone to help me forget. But at home you're there. We share a room. A bed. I don't get the option of just ignoring you anymore. I don't want to and I shouldn't have to. Your words hurt me, and you're my husband. You're supposed to be the person I turn to after a bad day, but I can't because all you seem to do is add to it. Sometimes I feel like I'm back in high school living with my mom and being abused in my own home. I used to feel safe with you and now I don't anymore.
"Is that why you keep turning to him instead of me?"
"Yes."
"Well, it needs to stop. I'm your husband and this is something that we need to work through. You should be turning to me. You shouldn't be replacing me with him."
"I need him. I need someone to talk to who understands me. Who will just listen to me."
"I will listen."
"No you don't. You never listen."
"I admit I'm not always the most supportive or attentive, but that doesn't mean that you can just stop talking to me and talk to him!"
"Why not? He actually listens and considers what I have to say and what I'm feeling."
"He's just playing you! God Olivia, don't you see that all he wants is to fuck you and be on his way!"
"Elliot, you say that one more time," she warns.
"It's true. He said exactly what you wanted to hear the first time, and you fell for it."
"That's not what happened. But you know what, if it makes you feel better keep on believing it, because I know otherwise."
"Yea, and how do you know?" he patronizes.
"Don't worry about it. That will remain between me and him."
"Elliot," Dr. Pekoe chimes in. She can see that this session is quickly circling the drain. "What would you like from Olivia? Would you like her to be more honest about meeting up with Peter?"
"No, I'd like her to stop seeing him all together."
"That's not going to happen," Olivia tells him stubbornly. "He's my friend, and it's going to stay that way."
"The hell it's not. I can't believe you actually think this is ok. This is a man you cheated on me with!"
"We were getting a divorce," Olivia says, her tone tinged with annoyance.
"Oh, I'm sick of that excuse. If we were getting a divorce then why the hell are we here now?"
"You know what, I've been asking myself that same question for a long time now. Thank you for reminding me why." She grabs her purse and angrily leaves the room, slamming the door behind her.
"So…was that worth it?" Dr. Pekoe asks.
"Worth what?"
"Your marriage."
Elliot remains in his seat dumbfounded. Could what he said really cost him his marriage?
"Elliot, I've watched you two come in here week after week and honestly I've never had a couple that has fought harder for their marriage than the two of you, but sometimes it's like one step forward and ten steps back!" She sighs. "You need to listen to your wife, Elliot, and think about what you're about to say before you say it to her. Otherwise… there's no hope for your marriage at all."
xXx
Later that night he waits for her to return home. She picked up Kayla and said that she would drop her back off later. Once again he hears her enter and while part of him wants to race to her and beg her to talk to him and forgive him. He knows she needs her space. He's surprised when she hesitantly enters their bedroom.
"I just need some clothes for tomorrow," she says when she sees that he is still awake.
He nods and watches her remove dirty clothes from her overnight bag and search for new ones, and realizes this is an opportunity he just can't pass up. "Liv, can we talk?"
"Not now, Elliot. I'm hungry, and I'm tired, and really the stress isn't good for the babies. Mark said I need to take it easy. Maybe tomorrow. I just want to go home, eat, and then go to bed."
"I thought this was your home."
She rolls her eyes at the slip. "You know what I mean."
"You know there's some leftovers downstairs. We can talk while you eat."
"That's ok. Peter cooked, and he's waiting up for me. Besides I'm not in the mood for a fight."
This guy can cook too? How am I supposed to compete with this guy?
"I don't want to fight Liv, I just want to talk."
She sighs tiredly and uses both hands to rub the sleep from her eyes. "Can we please just do this tomorrow."
"Tomorrow might be too late."
She sighs exasperatedly. "Elliot. For the millionth time I'm just sleeping on his couch. Nothing is going on between us."
"I know. I believe you." She turns and looks at him skeptically. "Please, just sit down so we can talk. I have some things that I want to say." She sighs once again, but gives in and takes a seat on her side of the bed. "I want to say I'm sorry. For doubting you. For accusing you of being unfaithful. For questioning the babies' paternity. I know you would never do that and it was wrong of me to even think such a thing. For everything. I just want to say I'm sorry."
She nods. "I've actually been doing some thinking. I really listened to what you had to say this afternoon and I think maybe we jumped into all this too quickly. I mean we dated for a few months. Broke up. Had a baby. Then got married. It all happened too fast, and I think maybe it's the reason why we've been struggling so much. We never had the chance to really get to know each other and what we're like outside of the job. I need to learn how to be your wife. How not to take things so personally and maybe build some tougher skin or something. And you need to learn how to be my husband. So I've been thinking and maybe it would be best if we spent some time apart. The tenant in my old apartment has given notice so maybe I can move in there for a little bit and we can just work it out from there. Get to know each other again."
"No," Elliot says without hesitation.
"El-"
"I said no. Us being apart is not going to help Liv. It's only going to make things worse. You're going to move there and he's going to be over there and…and no."
"Elliot, I swear to you that we are just. Friends. Nothing has or is going to happen."
"It will. If you move out of here it will happen. I know it will. You're…rel-frienship with him scares me. Because whether you realize it or not, you're building a bond with him. And at some point that bond will become so strong that it will become something more than physical and I know that at that point I'll lose you. I can't fight something like that. That's why I don't want you to see him. Because I'm afraid that you're going to fall in love with him and he's going to steal you away from me."
"Elliot-that's not. It's not-"
"It will. So I'm asking you to give this marriage a fighting a chance. Please stop seeing him. Stop talking to him. Stop having lunch with him, just stop. Everything. We have two babies on the way, and we need to try and make this work. We can't have them born into this mess."
"So is that it? You want me because I'm pregnant?"
"I want you because I love you, Olivia, and when you're not here I miss you, and I just. I just want to be with you."
"I'm going to stay with Peter until the tenant moves out and I'm going to take Kayla with me. I won't keep her from you, so you can come see her whenever you want. I'll come get our stuff this weekend."
She stands and heads for the door.
"Liv," he chokes and he can't keep his tears from spilling over his eyelids.
She pauses at the doorway and looks at him with sad eyes. "It's for the best," she says, and then she's gone.
Maybe she shouldn't have showed up?
Hang in there guys. Sometimes things have to get worse before they get better.
Thank you so much for reading.