Chapter 26: How to confuse people into doing what you want

I spent the rest of the evening nervously hovering around N´Jadaka while the preparations for the Black Panther ceremony were going on.

Invisible, of course.

N´Jadaka knew I was there. Nobody else. We agreed that it would be a good idea for me to keep an eye out while he was defenseless and that I could get a more honest assessment on everyone when they felt like they weren´t being watched.

Did I mention we were both paranoid bastards?

Not quite on Fury´s level, but not that far off sometimes.

It was a bit awkward. Everyone just stood around while N´Jadaka was buried under the sand and speaking to his father. It took a lot longer than I would have assumed from watching the movie.

It gave me some time to ponder the herb.

There was no way in hell that I would risk taking it.

At this point, it would be easy to sneak off and steal a couple of plants. Hell, I could let N´Jadaka go through with burning all the herbs and no one would ever know. There was even a good chance that I could just ask N´Jadaka and he would give one to me, just to spite Wakanda.

But in the end, I weighed the risks against the benefits and didn´t judge it worth it. Yes, it would give me a boost in durability and strength, but did I really need that?

The enemies I was worried about facing, the ones I thought would be too powerful for me alone as I was right now, they wouldn´t care if I could hit them a bit harder.

More importantly, the risks were too great.

You see, ingesting what is basically an unknown substance in hopes of gaining superpowers is not generally a save or sane move, even if you disregarded me being part alien and deeply intertwined with magic, no matter how much fanfiction told you otherwise.

My theory was that for the herb to have worked as consistently as it did, there must be a magical component to it. Probably one that bound the herb to the royal family. Now, I didn´t know if Bast existed. Considering what I knew about the MCU though, it seemed likely.

There was no way in hell that I would ever voluntarily find myself at the mercy of a god.

Whatever apprehension I felt concerning monarchy was nothing when measured against my dislike of the concept of gods. Singular or plural.

Half the reason for having been an atheist always had been my genuine belief that having such a thing exist is just a bad idea all around. Absolut power corrupts absolutely.

I didn´t believe in religion, I believed in therapy.

After all, religion was the opiate of the masses. Good old Marx had it right on that one.

Ironically, the quote had been taught to me by a religion teacher. The same religion teacher that accused me of being a nazi not half a year later because… - I was an atheist. Let´s just say that that was the last year that I took religion.

Still better than the nazi history teacher I got the next year.

Caught up in the indignities of my school career, I genuinely startled when N´Jadaka jumped up, frantically scrambling.

It wasn´t helping that the first person he saw, was the same shaman that he blamed for his father´s death. He pushed him away when the shaman tried to reach out to him. The man flew.

I winced at the cries of pain from the people he landed on but concentrated on the more important issue.

"N´Jadaka!", I called out, Hades immediately setting back onto my shoulders.

I didn´t acknowledge the spooked Wakandans around me as I stretched out my arms towards the young King. Unprompted it occurred to me that I was approaching him the same way I used to with my brother´s escaped chickens. I squashed that thought down immediately, not wanting to accidentally upset N´Jadaka with laughing at him.

"N´Jadaka.", I repeated when I stood in front of him.

He grabbed onto my arm and seemingly centering himself, his eyes finally really focusing again. My new friend was still tense but at least he didn´t look like he would lash out at any moment anymore.

"What the hell, man!", he wheezed when his brain had properly rebooted.

I nodded sagely.

"Magical drugs, what can you expect. I assume you had a bad trip?", I said with deliberate calm.

The Wakandans looked at me like I had just taken a piss on their precious herb garden. N´Jadaka let out a surprised sound, half laugh, half snort.

"Bad trip he says. Wait a minute, this shit is really magic?", he inquired.

"Yeah, that´s basically what sorcery is. You take energy from another dimension or plane of existence or whatever, under specific conditions and contracts some interdimensional being arbitrarily decided. In this case, Bast. The Ancient One is way better at explaining this stuff but-"

"Blasphemy! Bast has protected Wakanda and her people for centuries!", started one of the priestesses with an enraged lecture. Normally, I was more tolerant with other people´s beliefs but it was late, and I was getting cranky.

I rolled my eyes.

"Sure, Bast is great. Whatever helps you sleep at night while thousands of children around the world are starving because Bast doesn´t think they are special enough. Bet that makes you feel great.", I threw back at her face.

Not the fairest of arguments but hey, never claimed to be much of a patient person.

Judging by the reactions of the people around us, I had just made myself very unpopular. Not that I cared. Or that they would have liked me very much anyway. Xenophobic fucks.

"So, Bast would be pretty pissed off if I burned her garden down, huh?", N´Jadaka commented in a thoughtful tone while staring at said garden, arson clearly on his mind.

"Hold up.", I said, raising my arms in a placating gesture.

"How about we first try and see if this plant can get turned into some sort of medicine? Or something? Would be kind of a shame if we destroyed the cure to cancer, you know?"

N´Jadaka hummed and took my suggestion in consideration. That this would most likely be a "sacrilegious" use of the herb was probably more important to him than anything else (not optimal, but I can work with that), still it had the desired effect.

"Fine.", he gave in. With a tiny pout. Which I magnanimously ignored, to glad to have brought him out of the funk the encounter with his long dead father had put him in, so quickly.

While this exchange was going on the Wakandans around us clearly had a hard time deciding which of our plans was worse. In the end they wisely held their tongues.

Well, most of them.

A certain shaman definitely had a death wish.

"My King, please reconsider. These plants are sacred to Wakanda and her people. They are exclusively to be used to provide Wakanda with a protector-", he implored while taking a step towards us.

I had to suppress the urge to look at the ceiling in a bid for patience. N´Jadaka next to me looked predictably unamused.

"Is this-?", he asked me while gesturing with his chin.

I nodded and the young King´s eyes grew cold. The shaman, whose name I still hadn´t bothered to learn considering that he was pretty much a dead man walking, suddenly looked very unsure of himself. His gaze flickered warily between the two of us. He flinched ever so slightly when a bloodthirsty smile grew on N´Jadaka´s face.

"If it isn´t the man who condemned my father to death and kept my dear uncle´s secrets."

My friend might have only been Black Panther for a couple of minutes but his prowl towards the shaman was distinctly hunteresque. He let the man sweat for a long, dragged-out minute before he turned away and waved to his guards.

"Put him in a cell. I don´t have time for him now and I sure as hell can´t trust him to run around freely."

I was pleasantly surprised. That was decidedly non-violent. I was sure that the shaman still awaited a very bloody end but N´Jadaka had reigned himself in admirably, all things considered. He even gave a reason that would hold up to public scrutiny somewhat. Which meant that hopefully there wouldn´t be much outcry under the Wakandans.

Well, one could hope.

When N´Jadaka turned to me again his grin spoke of excitement and ruthlessness.

"Ready to change the world?"

No matter how cliché the expression was, my new friend put a distinctly menacing twist on it. I looked at him with tired eyes and didn´t even bother to suppress a yawn.

"Could that wait until I had a full 8 hours of sleep? Not all of us just received a magical upgrade, ya know.", I deadpanned.

Now that everything had calmed down somewhat, the long day was catching up to me. I didn´t have the energy to emote anymore.

The bastard laughed at me while I continued to grumble like an old man.

So.

Skip to roughly a week and a half later.

Things were going much more smoothly than I could have hoped for. The royal family was laying low (somewhat) and grieving. The border tribe was still pretty partial to N´Jadaka and the merchants, surprisingly, weren´t that far behind.

Turned out, that pro-outside world attitude that T´Challa´s flame had in the movies? That was quite common in her tribe at large. Which meant the river tribe was on our side too.

Not wholeheartedly, mind you. But it was better than nothing.

The mining tribe was the most resistant to the talk of changes. Thinking about it, it made sense. They were responsible for mining vibranium after all. Of course, they would be skeptical of N´Jadaka´s plans to spread the precious element across the world.

All this left one glaring gap. M´Baku and the Jabari tribe.

N´Jadaka had asked my opinion on them and I couldn´t really give him a straight answer. As far as my meager foreknowledge in that regard went, they shouldn´t be outright hostile to the new King. M´Baku may challenge N´Jadaka but he would relent after my friend proved his strength. That part I was more or less sure on.

I couldn´t predict M´Baku´s attitude though. Honestly, the only thing I was certain of was that he was a strong leader. A little bit macho. But in Wakanda Forever, he had been, well, kind of goofy? Which had made me like him, so I was scared that I was biased.

I wanted the Jabari tribe as an ally, though I wasn´t sure that was going to happen. Because the only other nugget of knowledge that had survived my interdimensional travel about this was that M´Baku was also very keen on traditions, which… - was not good.

N´Jadaka and I spent quite a few meals debating what to do with the only Wakandan tribe that didn´t pray to Bast. (By the way, Hanuman and Bast? What kind of weird mythology mix-up was this? Why would a tribe that was isolated even by Wakanda´s standards be influenced by Hindu culture? Not that it wasn´t kind of cool to see, but still. It was something that I shouldn´t think about too much.)

The food may have been great, but the discussions were exhausting.

In the end we agreed that the best plan of attack would be to visit them in the mountains, offer M´Baku a seat on the council and hope for the best.

Which was exactly what we were doing right now. I couldn´t say who was more nervous and paranoid; me or the Dora Milaje standing menacingly in the background. We were on top of what I presumed to be the M´Baku´s palace, at least it had the biggest stone ape monuments around.

Like seemingly everything in Wakanda, the home of the Jabari tribe was quite impressive. Structures carved in stone cliffs and built out of wood and roots, the freshly fallen snow shimmered in the sunlight. Still, the tribe distinguished themselves very clearly. The overabundance of technology and vibranium was pointedly missing.

Honestly, I thought while mustering the Jabari guards standing in attention around us, that these people didn´t have problems with frostbite was a miracle. A few fur pelts did not make you coldproof.

And no one was as big of an offender in that regard as their leader, M´Baku.

He approached us with a confident stride and a scowl on his face. Damn, he was big. Easily towered over N´Jadaka and me. His biceps were bigger than my head. Which I had very good view of because he didn´t wear sleeves.

While I was contemplating whether he was masochist or just very adapted to extreme temperatures, the Wakandans started with their passive aggressive greetings.

I didn´t really pay attention to Ree´s translations until I felt everyone´s eyes on me.

"Huh?"

I jerked my gaze away from M´Baku´s impressive built to look at a N´Jadaka hovering somewhere between annoyance and exasperation.

"Your outsider seems to be a bit lost, King.", M´Baku sneered.

Oh, boy. That did not sound like things were going great.

"I was just- "

I was interrupted before I could say anything more by M´Baku starting some kind of chant and stomping combination that his guards quickly joined into. I was a bit befuddled by this. Had I missed something? The hell was going on-

"Tell your pet to shut up before we feed him to our children.", M´Baku threatened his King, again in Wakandan.

While N´Jadaka´s expression soured, mine just turned neutral.

Ah. That was going on.

"Your tribe is vegetarian.", I deadpanned.

M´Baku didn´t let his surprise show.

"Ah, perhaps not so lost after all.", he commented, visibly reassessing me.

I shrugged.

"Just admiring your built.", I admitted nonchalantly while my eyes drifted back towards his arms.

This time I had M´Baku sputtering. Adorable.

N´Jadaka snorted out a laugh that he quickly tried to cover with a cough.

"Really?", he asked quietly. "That´s your type?"

I shrugged again and looked at my friend with innocent eyes.

"There is a giant dork buried under all that muscle. How could I resist?", I said in a dreamy tone.

The look he gave me was less than impressed even as the corners of his mouth twitched.

"Ah, come on. Even if he challenges you to combat, I have faith in you.", I said while waving away his concerns. For some reason N´Jadaka looked even less impressed after that.

"Of course, I wouldn´t mind some personal sparring time either.", I winked at M´Baku.

This time N´Jadaka couldn´t suppress his laughter. The leader of the Jabari shook his head, speechless, before he visibly recollected himself. Then he started laughing too.

With a sigh he turned around and gestured towards us to follow him inside.

Ice broken successfully. Totally worth dusting off my nonexistent flirting skills.

I sent N´Jadaka a triumphant grin.

"Told ya he was a dork."

The young King rolled his eyes and muttered something about choosing his allies with more care.

"Hey, I heard that!"

It wasn´t all sunshine and roses, of course.

M´Baku was still very critical of N´Jadaka, me and the new direction of Wakanda as a whole. But he agreed to work with the new King and accepted a position on the council. To be honest, I was surprised that it hadn´t come to a challenge for the throne, but then again, N´Jadaka had proven his status as a ruthless warrior already. His reputation was quite different than the one T´Challa had held in canon.

And with that, another hurdle was overcome. More or less. My part in Wakanda´s change was coming to an end. There was only one main task left for me, something I was uniquely positioned to do.

"I still don´t like this.", N´Jadaka huffed. It didn´t take genius to know that he was displeased. He had made that very clear. All morning in fact. I was beginning to feel like a kindergarten teacher trying to convince a very stubborn toddler.

"I don´t need no billionaire asshole.", he ranted.

I sighed.

"Yes, you are a strong independent woman, and you don´t need a man to pay for your things.", I snarked.

The glare he sent me told me that he did not appreciate my humor right now. Blasphemy.

"We´ve been over this and you agreed. Suck it up.", I returned to a more serious tone.

"And he is no asshole."

Well.

"Most of the time. Sometimes.", I continued after a moment.

N´Jadaka raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

"It´s complicated.", I defended weakly.

"What a glowing indorsement of my character, Archie. Where the hell have you been? Pepper was this close to calling a manhunt on you.", Tony spoke up from behind us.

I spun around, surprised at not having heard him come in. Well, we were in his office after all. It wasn´t that surprising that he was there. The way N´Jadaka turned around calmly told me that he had known who was behind us. Petty, petty man.

Tony seemed relieved to see me. Something I could not say about a fuming Pepper that stood right next to him. I waited a second for Pepper to refute Tony´s statement but she just glared at me and raised an eyebrow.

"Um."

I chuckled sheepishly and raised my hands in what was meant to be placating gesture.

"I can explain! It has been a long couple of weeks, but I have perfectly good reasons for disappearing.", I said and turned half in N´Jadaka´s direction. My new friend seemed to distinctly enjoy my suffering.

"May I introduce the new King of Wakanda?"

While both Tony and Pepper stared at me in varying states of confusion, I had a moment to contemplate my life choices. I concluded with this: I should really start on making better friends.

AN:

This episode was brought to you by Anxiety and Energy Drinks… - it´s honestly a miracle that it isn´t all sorts of unhinged. Ya know, because by being more violent in a fictional story I suddenly feel more in control of my life.

The wonders of the human brain.

This time I am not going to make up the missed updates because that was a lot of work and I still don´t have the next arc all that planned out. (It has absolutely nothing to do with me caving and having started on posting another fic over on ao3, what are you talking about?)

And worse, I *shuddering breath*, I lost my notes! *Sniffle* The ones with my timeline! My precious timeline that I spent way too much time on!

-insert hysterical crying-

Dramatics aside, I am pretty sure that I know where to find them but it´ll take a couple weeks till I get them back. So, be warned the next few chapters might have to be retconned after a month or so. Feel free to point out any faults you spot. :)

So… What did y´all think?