Olivia runs a finger down the soft skin of Julian's arm. In the bed beside him, his brother sleeps peacefully. They're doing well, but they both still have a long way to go. Outside the NICU there is a commotion and she smiles when she hears a familiar voice. "Hey, Jen," she calls to a nurse nearby.

"Anything wrong Mrs. Stabler?"

She cringes at the name."Please, call me Olivia."

"Sure thing, what's up?"

"There's a woman outside giving Patty a hard time. Can you do me a favor and just have them let her in. Really, it's not worth the trouble."

"Only family is allowed in."

"She is."

The nurse sighs. "Sure. I'll let them know."

A few minutes later Casey walks into the NICU. "You do know this is supposed to be a peaceful place, right."

"The stupid nurse wouldn't let me in. I was this close to threatening them with legal action. I almost told them I was your wife." Olivia just shakes her head. "So this is them?" She smiles.

Olivia can't help, but smile back."Yea, this is Julian," she points to one bed, "And that's Jordan."

"They're beautiful, Liv."

"Thanks. How's my baby girl?"

"Elliot picked her up earlier this evening. Said he wanted to spend some time with her." Olivia nods. "You wanna tell me what's going on with you two?" she asks as she lightly touches Jordan's hand. He grips her finger when she places it in his tiny palm.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Olivia."

"I'm just…done."

"Olivia, now's not the time for you to be thinking about divorce. You have two babies that need you two. Together."

"Well, I can't help it if their father wants to be with someone else."

"That's not true-"

"I caught him hugging Kathy. Here. In the hospital, right outside my room door."

"I'm sure there is a logical explanation-"

"I don't care what his explanation is. I'm tired of this," she sighs. "I have three kids now. A mortgage, car payments, and a stressful job. I can't keep wondering everyday whether or not my husband is cheating on me. I don't have the time. I don't have the strength. I don't have the energy. If she's what he wants then he can have her and I can move on."

"Olivia, look how hard he's fought for you. For the past what? Three years that man has been fighting for you."

"He wouldn't have to fight if he could keep it in his pants."

"He's not perfect, Olivia. But neither are you, or have we already forgotten about Peter."

"Peter and I were friends."

"A friend you slept with. While you were still married to him, then proceeded to have a friendship with behind your husband's back. How do you think that made him feel?"

Olivia sighs. As much as she'd hate to admit it, she has been just as wrong in all this as he has. For every bit he's hurt her, she's hurt him back. She's been difficult and selfish while he had been neglectful and seemingly uncaring. They've both been harsh. She stares at her son as his chest repeatedly rises and falls. He deserves better. Their children deserve better. "You're right."

"I know I'm right. You guys have three kids now. You had your chance to nip this in the bud, but you didn't. You married him knowing full well who he was and how he is."

"I know Casey, but that doesn't excuse his behavior."

"You're right. But at least he's trying to change and he's trying to change for you. Because he loves you."

"I know."

"You need to do the same. Not just for him, but for your kids. You brought them into this mess. It's not fair for them to have to suffer through it."

"I know. Casey, I know! Now can you just…give it a rest already?"

"I'm sorry. I just know what it's like to be raised in a broken home. I wouldn't wish that on anybody."

"And I grew up with an alcoholic that saw me as a constant reminder of the monster that brutalized her and ruined her life. I can't do that to my kids by staying with a man that makes me feel the way I'm feeling right now," she turns back to her son and notices that he feels warmer and his breathing has increased. She pushes the button to page the nurse.

"Olivia-"

"Shut up Casey, I think something's wrong."

"Olivia?" Jen questions as she approaches them.

"I think something's wrong. He's breathing really fast and he feels a bit warm."

"Alright, let me check…" She removes her stethoscope from around her neck and presses it to the baby's chest. She's quiet for moment. "Alaina, page Dr. Moy, tell him Julian Stabler has fluid in his lungs."

"Oh my God," Olivia says.

And then it happens.

His chest stops rising.

His chest stops falling.

His little body stills.

"Code Blue!" Jen yells.

And it all happens so fast. They wheel her out of the way. They surround him to the point where she can no longer see.

And she prays.

xXx

Elliot wakes from what feels like a coma. Beside him his youngest daughter sleeps as the TV shows one of the Disney channel's latest sitcom. He glances at the clock. 5:04 PM. He guesses now is as good of a time as any to head back to the hospital. He's given her over twenty-four hours of time and space and it's time for both of them to face the music. He showers quickly before getting dressed and Kayla ready to go. He repacks her overnight bag and after a quick pit stop for something to eat they arrive at the hospital. He's surprised when he sees Casey in a chair outside Olivia's room.

"Hey," he says. "What's going on?" He sees red when he sees Peter exit her hospital room. "What the hell is he doing here?"

"Elliot, calm down, I called him."

"What?! Why!"

"Because I couldn't reach you!"

Peter walks over to them and turns to Casey. "She wouldn't say a thing."

"K. Thanks for trying."

"Elliot," he nods then moves on his way.

Elliot glares at him until he walks away. "What the hell is going on?" Elliot demands.

"Julian took a turn for the worst last night."

"What?"

"Is-is he ok? Did he?" he blinks furiously in an effort to hold back his tears.

"No. But it's not good. He has fluid in his lungs. Pneumonia. He stopped breathing last night. They had to call a code blue and intubate him and everything. It was so scary. I mean, I'm traumatized. I can't imagine what it's was like for her."

"Wait, you guys were there?"

"Yea. We saw the whole thing. She shut down after that. Won't eat. Won't see any visitors."

"She saw Peter."

"That's because I begged the nurses to let him in. But a lot of good it did. She wouldn't even talk to him."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"I've been calling your cell phone non-stop since last night. I must have left you like ten messages."

He pulls out his cell phone and groans when he finds it dead. "I forgot my charger in her room. It must have died."

"What about the house phone?"

"Only people that use that line are bill collectors. I didn't even give it to the hospital."

"Well, we needed you Elliot, and we haven't been able to reach you."

"I'm here now. Here take her. Go home, get some rest. I've got this."

He kisses his daughter goodbye and puts her down. He hands her overnight bag to Casey then heads into the room. She lays there in the darkness and doesn't say a word to him. "Hey. I uh. I brought you something to eat. I know how much you hate the food here so I got you some stir-fry. Doctor approved." She doesn't say anything. She only continues to stare at the ceiling. "We need to talk about what happened."

"Your children were fighting for their lives while you were busy getting your rocks off with your ex-wife. What else is there to say?" She says before rolling over and giving him her back.

"Kathy came by to see how we were doing. She asked me if I was ok, and I said yea. She gave me a hug goodbye. That's what you saw. Me saying goodbye." She remains in silence and he gets frustrated. "You know, how many times are we going to have this fight? You have to let this go."

"You couldn't stand my being friends with Peter, and yet I'm supposed to just sit back and be ok with your relationship with Kathy," she says with her back to him.

"It's not the same thing and you know it. Kathy is the mother of my children. Peter was someone you were falling in love with."

"I was never falling in love with him. He was always my friend. Yes, I slept with him, but we were never anything more than friends."

"That's bullshit."

"I loved you. I always loved you. If I didn't, we wouldn't be here right now."

"Loved…past tense. Does that mean you don't love me anymore?" She's quiet for a long time. "Liv?"

"I don't know…some days…I don't know," she says and her voice is so quiet he can barely hear her. If it wasn't for the silence of the room he would have missed her gentle words.

"Then why are we still married?"

"Because of the days when I do know. The days when I'm happy. When our kids are happy."

"When are you not happy?"

"The days when you meet with her."

"What?"

"You think I don't know? Once a month. Usually on days when you have court since you have a bit more free time. You meet at that café on Canal."

"How did you know?"

"Does it matter?"

"No, I just-"

"I saw you. We went out for lunch and walked by and there you two were."

"We meet to talk about the kids. There's four of them, and with my schedule and her schedule. The time when we trade off with the twins isn't enough. I don't want to hide it, but…I know it upsets you."

"You hiding things from me is what upsets me."

He sighs. "Olivia, can you please look at me. I'm tired of having a conversation with your back."

"I can't look at you right now."

"Olivia, I want to be honest with you, but how can I when this is how you act. Kathy and I have kids together. We need to have some kind of relationship."

"You say that like that's supposed to make me feel better. Do you ever stop to think what it's like for me? I have to sit back and be ok with you having this relationship with a woman you were married to for nearly twenty years. She was your first. She gave you children. And you've cheated on me with her not once but twice. You lie and have these secret meetings with her. How am I supposed to trust you? How am I supposed to be ok with all of this?" her voice cracks.

He sighs and climbs into bed behind her. He wraps his arm around her waist and is careful about where he places his hand. "Olivia, I love you. I don't know what else to say or do to make you believe it, but I do. I love you. I made mistakes. I'm not perfect, but I like to think I've proved to you, that you're the one I want. I know it's hard, I haven't made it easy, but I need you to believe in me. Love me. Trust me." He's surprised when she slides her fingers over his and links them together.

"I want to. I love you so much."

He pulls back her hair and kisses her neck. "Try." She doesn't say anything and they lay together in silence for awhile. "I heard about what happened with Julian."

"I was so scared. I thought he was going to die right there and there was nothing I could do to help him. Nothing I could do to save him. I've never felt so helpless in my life."

"I can't imagine what it was like."

"It was horrible."

"Have you seen them today?"

"I'm afraid to go back."

"Let's go."

"No. Not now. Not…yet. I want to just stay here for a bit. Just like this."

"Ok." He holds her close and enjoys the quiet with his wife. "You know we haven't picked out middle names for them yet."

"Eli," she says without hesitation.

"For who?"

"Julian."

"Where's it from?"

"You. Can't have another Elliot Stabler, but an Eli will do."

He thinks for a moment. "Then Jordan's will be Levi. He'd never forgive us if we named him Oliver."

She chuckles. "I suppose he wouldn't."

"You ready to go see them?"

She thinks for a moment. "Yea."