Note: Hey guys because of some unexpected events, it will take longer for me to finish this fanfiction then I first intended so I am giving now really date on when it will be finished and I can't make an real promises about when I can update, I'm sorry about that. Also I feel I have not been writing my best lately and I really want to fix that, so this chapter is one of the reasons that it has taken me so long update. Also I wish to say, Happy Belated Independence Day to those of you readers in the U.S.A.

Summer at Potter Manor is usually hectic. Especially now that Sirius is staying with them and that Remus and Peter are known to come over for days, if not weeks at a time. Only this summer was different. Ever since Mrs. Potter had told James that his father hadn't returned from his Auror mission; the house was quiet and not much would take place. James automatically assumed the worst.

With Voldemort in charge and Death Eaters everywhere that would normally be everyone's first assumption if someone had gone missing. Yes a search party had been set out by the Ministry, but that still didn't do any good. The thought struck everyone hard, but even though James never voiced his thoughts out loud, he need to be strong or at least appear strong, for him mother.

However Sirius knew James better than almost anyone and could tell what he was feeling. He wasn't one for mushy moments, but he tried to get James to talk about it, voice his thoughts, anything. But all he ever got was a forced smile and James trying to reassure Sirius he was fine.

James didn't want to talk about it, because if he voiced it, a small part of him would prove to him that this was all true. Another part of him had processed everything but didn't know which was better: Knowing or Not Knowing. If he knew it would just have some closer, but by not knowing he still held on to that small tiny piece of hope.

"James c'mon." Sirius said finally, "You can't just avoid everything and hide up here."

"I'm not hiding up here, your just hiding down there."

"That was probably your worst come back ever." Sirius said shaking his head as James shrugged it off.

"Now perk up, Remus and Peter are coming over tomorrow, or did you forget?" He raised an eyebrow.

James looked up at him, "Of course I haven't."

"Good, then stop sulking and get up." Sirius wasn't trying to get inconsiderate, but sometimes with James all he needed was a little push.

"I'll be down stairs..." Sirius said and stopped at the door, "There's nothing you can do about it mate…" He gently said gently before leaving the room. The sound of his footsteps traveled down the hallway leaving James alone once again.

James wasn't sure what it was, but Sirius was right. James got up and went back stairs. He challenged him to a game is Exploding Snap. He felt much better than he had all week.

But that was yesterday...

When James got up that next morning he heard people talking downstairs, looking at the clock he noticed that it was 12:00 pm. He assumed that it was probably Remus and Peter talking to Sirius, though he was surprised that they hadn't woken him up.

He got up, changed into clean clothes, and went downstairs to the living room.

"Hey guys why-"

But he stopped mid-sentence once he saw that it wasn't the guys.

He looked around and he saw Sirius leaning against the wall looking at the floor, his mother quietly weeping on the sofa, and the Head of the Auror Department standing there with a sad look written all over his face. That was enough. James knew exactly what was happening and why the man was there.

"James they found him…" He said and was about to say more, but he didn't even need to continue.

James turned away from them all and went to the door and went outside before slamming the door and apperating away. He didn't care where; he just couldn't be home at the moment.

…

Lily was sitting up in her room looking out her window over at the mountains that were in the distance when she heard a faint crack out in the distance. It sounded like a car backfiring, but Lily knew better and went out to investigate.

She went in the direction where she heard the noise and it led her to the park.

"James?" She said in surprise when she saw him standing there, "What are you doing here?"

"I just needed to get away…" He was looking at the ground, walking over to the nearby bench and took a seat, "I can leave if you want…" He glanced up at her.

"No. No. You can stay." She said and walked over to him, "Do you want to talk about it." She had a feeling about the situation that James was in. When his mother had broken the news to him, it was one of the rare times at she had seen James absolutely lost for words. From what she had been told, his father was supposed to return form his mission about a week before they were due to return home from Hogwarts. He was confirmed missing when they heard no word from him about a week later.

So when James said the words, "They found him." And not a smile, but a frown was on his face, she automatically knew.

She placed a hand gently on his arm, but didn't say anything. What could be said?

James put his hand in his hands, but he didn't cry.

After a moment more of silence he spoke.

"Part of me is relieved… Meanwhile the other part of me wishes that I still didn't know…"

Lily nodded in understanding, but it wasn't the understanding in which she had experienced this, but if she was in his place, she would probably feel the same.

She let James talk, and when James talked to her it just came naturally, there were no awkward silences and nothing forced, it just flowed. Once he was done talking they just sat there, a cool breeze blowing at them and the sun shining high in the sky.

"Thanks Lily." He said looking out into the distance, "It was nice to be able to talk to someone."

He could have talked to Sirius, but somehow he just didn't think that it would be the same.

"No problem."

And she meant it too. She had experienced another part of James Potter that not many people see, vulnerability. With everything that has happened he would normally just shrug it off and move on or just give a smirk and make a joke about it, he always acts so strong, like nothing can or will bother him. However, lately that's been changing. She liked that he could be able to talk to her, that he would come to her if he needed to. Maybe… Possibly… She could do the same… Because with James, every day is different than the last. Whether it's good or bad, a new adventure always awaits.

Note: P.S.: Sorry for the bad chapter title.