A/n: this was one of the reviews I got the last time I updated….it really pissed me off :/

Pottersues Alert 11/22/12 . chapter 1

Congratulations! Your story was rated as AWFUL on Pottersues!

(awful) - when we get into the realm of 'awful', we're starting to get into the ones that piss me off. These aren't just bad, they are somehow impressively bad. There is usually no detectable plot, and the author probably thinks that spelling and grammar are optional. 'Awful' fics are offenses against J. K. Rowling's world and characters, plus the reader's intelligence and the Queen's English, all in one.

(awful) - scrap this fic and start over. I mean it; re-do this from the bottom up. Very little here could be salvaged into something enjoyable. Proper grammar and spelling are NOT optional, and lose your superiority complex; readers who politely suggest that your character would be more lovable with a few flaws are not flaming, nor are they jealous of your superior skills. They are trying to help you to improve - listen to what they have to say, and act on it. You could probably use to get somebody to proof-read and edit for you before you post anything.

Keep in mind that you do not have to display all of these traits to be rated AWFUL.

Our Advice: Like we said, proper grammar and spelling are NOT optional. Your story has potential- it could be pretty good. But the fact is your characters are not acting like the do in canon. And everyone in your story is described in such purple prose- we advise you to get a beta reader. It helps, a lot. Also, purple prose isn't bad, but you may want to re-evaluate how you describe things in this story. Also, re-read some of the books, watch a movie or two over. This will help you picture how your characters would realistically react to the situations you present them with. And of course, if all else fails feel free to scrap this story and start over!

Good luck!

First of all whoever sent this doesn't have the guts to login and review, loser. Secondly from the language I can see that this is a review that wasn't exclusively for my story, this person must have sent the same review to many other stories. Thirdly this comment was made on the first chapter where just the base of the story was being set, you didn't even read my story so you have no right to tell me that it is awful.! I have seen HATERS like you who have nothing better to do but criticize and insult other's hard work. I have always appreciated my readers suggestions and where ever possible I have implemented them, but you mr 'I don't give a shit about what you think'. Do yourself a favor and get some treatment for your misbalanced mind and stop spreading your negativity every where.

Now lets continue the story

Chapter 21

Hermione looked around the place and she knew this was a very exclusive club, the interiors were beautiful and music blared around them. No one except Luna and Hermione had been to a muggle night club so they didn't know what to expect, but looking at their faces one could tell that they were starting to loosen up. The portkey had taken them directly inside the club in a room that was specially built for that purpose. Narcissa, dressed in an off shoulder white dress, had greated them all with child like enthusiasm and had introduced them to her friend and the owner of the club, Mr. Maclain. He had shown them to a private room built for personal parties which was done in greens and blues. Every one settled down on the beige leather couches and ordered their drinks.

Narcissa got up and started, "Ladies this a night of freedom, freedom from a relationship that got sore and broke, our Hermione has cried her share of tears over the git, now its time she lets it go and moves on. I have planned a night where there will lots of alchohol and hot men, so live while you are young and enjoy."

Everyone cheered and hooted and the drinks started to flow freely, Hermione stayed low on liquor after her last experience with it. A little tipsy Ginny Potter got up and proposed to have tequila shots, Hermione hesitated but decided to let loose for just one day, after all it was her party. After two shots everyone except Narcissa looked blissfully drunk. Narcissa clapped her hand and In came a good looking middle aged man, she smiled and said, "We'd like the paper dance now."

Narcissa turned to the girls and explained, "I find this muggle game really enjoyable, especially when played with hot men. You dance with your partner on a newspaper and every time the music stops you fold the paper in half, your feet shouldn't touch the ground." Everyone nodded their heads showing that they had understood, just then six good looking men walked in bare chested with a newspaper in hand, each had a number pinned to their pants. They stood in a line eying the beauties they rarely got to serve.

Narcissa beamed at the men then turned to the girls and instructed, "now girls, there is a number written under your glass, that is the number that your partner is wearing. Everyone checked and located their partners and took the position on the newspaper with their partner, Hermione's partner, Edmund, was a tall and muscular man with brown eyes and sandy brown hair. He turned out to be 28 years old dancer in the club.

The music started and the girls danced with their partners while making sure not to fall off the newspaper, the music stopped after a minute and the paper was folded in half. The couples moved closer to each other so that their bodies were pressed together, Hermione wrapped her arms around edmund's neck while he placed his hands on her waist so that they wouldn't fall. Edmund was a charming and friendly person who had Hermione at ease in a minute or maybe it was the alcohol that helped but still she found that he was easy to talk to but still she found herself wishing that the arms around her were of someone else; a certain blonde. She could feel Edmund's muscles as they danced but wished it was someone else's lean body pressed to hers. She looked in his eyes and wished to see the grey eyes she had started to trust so much rather than the brown ones which looked at her with admiration.

The music stopped and again the paper was folded in half, Padma's partner picked her up bridal style while the others somehow managed to stand on their toes while being sandwiched with their partners. Hermione could feel edmund's breath on her neck and she remembered the day Draco and her had fallen asleep on the couch and had woken up to find Draco on top of her, his breath fanning her neck. She mentally shook herself to stop thinking about the blonde, 'He likes his perfect girl, the one he dreams about, there's no place for me' she reminded herself. This thought saddened her and she moved closer to her partner, if that was even possible.

The music stopped and the paper was again folded and now it was reduced to the size of a small jewellery box, most couples couldn't balance and were eliminated. Only Hermione and Daphne were in the game now, both girls had been picked bridal style and the boys were standing on just one foot. Edmund whispered, "We will surely win, you weigh like a child."

Hermione giggled and said, "What does your girlfriend think about you working in a dance club?"

Edmund chuckled, "My BOYFRIEND is right there by your blonde friend keeping an eye on me."

Hermione turned her head slightly to see the man beside Luna, he had jet black hair and blue eyes, he looked tense and his eyes were fixed on his boyfriend but when he saw Hermione staring he turned his attention towards her, Hermione smiled and nodded, then she made a sudden movement so that her partner stumbled and to keep her from falling he stood on both feet hence losing the game.

Everyone cheered for Daphne and her partner while Edmund stared at Hermione like she was insane. Edmund's boyfriend was smiling at Hermione and he looked like tones of weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Edmund whispered so that only Hermione could hear him, "We would have won, why did you do that?"

Hermione turned to Edmund and said, "It is very painful to see the one you love in someone else's arms, I have felt that and I didn't want your boyfriend to feel it any longer. I could see it in his eyes."

Edmund turned to look at his boyfriend and smiled which made his black haired lover beam, Hermione wished someone would look at her with the same look of love, she knew there was just one person from whom she wanted to receive that look; Draco Malfoy. She finally admitted it to herself, somewhere along the line friendship had changed into attraction and then love, her feelings ran deeper than what she had assumed; she had fallen in love with Draco Malfoy.

A/n: I know this is short but more is coming…. The can manage to update fast only if the chapters are shorter. So what do you people want, longer chapters in longer intervals or shorter chapters in short intervals. Loved the reviews and I specially wrote this chapter because of them. Read and review

Love

Ash