Honest Alice: Whoa. Hold your horses. Nobody is pregnant. I do not believe that I have made a mockery of myself in any way. There will be no "chemical x" involved or anything of the like. Please don't be insulting when there is no need to be.
Chapter Eleven
A week has passed since the couple had left Nagoyo. True to Doctor Yamamoto's word, Hiroki had not suffered any horrible side effects. Nowaki kept waiting for his lover to break out in cold sweats or fever, but the professor was the same as ever.
Nowaki was still concerned. Hiroki had a doctors appointment later that afternoon. They were going to test the tumor to see what it was composed of, and Nowaki hoped that nothing had changed. A lot of things could have gone wrong since they left the hospital: the tumor could have grown, it could have become malignant, or it could be shifting.
The tall sighed as he put the chicken breast into the steaming pan. The juices immediately seeped out of the meat, only to hiss and sputter away into nothingness.
He heard Hiroki entering the room, but he didn't turn around to greet him as usual. His heart was too heavy to put on a normal face.
"Nowaki, is the chicken almost done? Cause we have to leave soon. It's rush hour and I don't want to be late."
"Of course, Hiro-san," he replied, still facing to stove, "The chicken is really thin, so it should be done in just a few minutes."
Hiroki stopped and stared at him. Nowaki's shoulders were hunched over and his head hung down. Sadness radiated out of his body so clear that even the plants on the windowsill were drooping.
"Hey… are you okay?" He put a hand on the taller man's back.
His reply was small and only half-hearted.
"Yeah."
"Cause you know that it's only a follow-up appointment. Nothing will have changed. They're just making sure that everything is still fine."
He turned the chicken over.
"I know. But things don't always work out the way that doctors think they will. I know that from experience." He felt the hand on his back begin to rub in smooth circles.
"You can't think like that." Hiroki gave an awkward, forced laugh. "Besides, I feel fine. Don't worry."
Nowaki quickly turned towards him, only to envelope him in a great hug. He dug his head into Hiroki's neck and breathed deeply. Ah, he smelled the same as always, like clean cedar wood and old books, but still lemony and fresh. He inhaled again. The smell was intoxicating and familiar.
"I love you, Hiro-san," he whispered, still nuzzling his neck.
"I know. I love you too."
They stood still in embrace for a few moments until Nowaki felt himself get pushed away violently.
"Nowaki! Look, the chicken's burning!" He scowled and pointed at the smoking meat.
He quickly turned the stove off in an attempt to save their lunch.
o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.
Two hours later found the couple sitting in a meeting room in front of a doctor. His glasses were low on his nose as he examined a piece of paper. He was frowing, Nowaki noticed. Frowning was bad. Frowning meant that his Hiro-san was in danger. Frowning meant that—
"It appears that everything is still as we expected," the doctor said, cutting off Nowaki's rapidly running imagination.
Hiroki clenched his lover's hand in reassurance.
"We have done further tests on the tumor." He paused to scrutinize the paper. "The tests conclude that it is just a mass of blood cells and nutrients embedded in tissue. Nothing to worry about."
Nowaki exhaled pent up breath.
"See, I told you," Hiroki said.
His lover just smiled in return.
"One more thing," the doctor chimed, "There is a scientist here who wants to see you. He has something in mind that he would like to discuss with you."
Seeing their hesitation, he continued, "Of course, it's totally voluntary. You in no way have to talk with him."
"No, no, it's fine," Nowaki said, waving his hand up and down.
"Why does he want to see me?" Hiroki asked.
"It's actually both of you that he wants to see. He just has some questions."
o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.
Hiroki and Nowaki walked to the room number they were told. It was on the complete opposite side of the hospital in an area that Nowaki had never been in before. The lights were dim and unnerving, but the floors were clean and the air fresh.
A short man answered the door.
"Ah, hello. I've been waiting for you," he said with a big grin. "Come in, come in."
There was a large silence once they were all seated. The scientist stared at them, and they stared right back. Hiroki, slightly uncomfortable, looked away first.
Nowaki began, "So, we were told that you are a scientist."
"Yes, I have a degree in medical biology and medical science. My name, as I'm sure you were told, is Sato. I have something very important that I'd like to discuss with you. I don't want you to reject my idea right away. It could be dangerous, but please keep an open mind.
"I have reviewed your case with several colleagues of mine, and we all agree that this could work."
He turned to Nowaki. "You are a pediatrician, so this topic is a little off of your area of study, but are you familiar with the term in vitro fertilization."
The tall man nodded, not understanding where this conversation was going.
"Well we believe that this could work with you." He looked at the couple hopefully.
"What are you talking about?" Hiroki said.
"In vitro fertilization. On you."
Hiroki's mouth gaped open before he spewed, "What is this crap! I'm a man. Men don't have babies."
"Yes, yes, I am aware. But your current condition makes us believe that it is possible."
"Um, no. Not gonna happen." He grabbed Nowaki's hand and pulled. "Let's go. I don't want to deal with this crackhead any longer."
"No, wait, Hiro-san. Let's hear what he has to say."
Upon seeing Nowaki's pleading eyes, he agreed to stay.
Once they were both seated again, the scientist continued.
"We have been studying male pregnancy for many years now. We have everything figured out except for how the baby would get enough nutrients to grow. Now, your tumor isn't really a tumor. It is just a mass composed of blood cells and nutrients. We think that a fetus would be able to feed off of the mass in lieu of the placenta." He looked up at them hopefully. "This could work. Please, think it over."
Hiroki just grumbled and looked away, but Nowaki nodded politely.
"Here, I've printed off a sheet for you with all of the logistics. Call me after you've thought it over."
o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.
It was an awkward ride back to their apartment. They didn't speak on the subway and they continued their silence after they had made it through the front door. Nowaki wanted to discuss it, but he knew that Hiroki had already shut the idea down. Yes, this particular subject would take great tactic to bring up.
He went to the kitchen to make some tea. It was chamomile, a flavor that he knew his Hiro-san loved but thought was too "girly." Once it was done he added a small drop of honey to make it sweeter. The smaller man enjoyed it slightly sweeter at night, even though he insisted that he didn't.
Holding the mug, he walked into the living room to find Hiroki lying down on the couch. His eyes were shut and his arms were folded under his head, causing his shirt to ride up. Nowaki stared at his exposed stomach as he entered the room. A small line of hair trailed from his belly button down to under his pants. He put the mug on the coffee table to sit on his knees in front of the couch.
He ran his fingertips along Hiroki's happy trail, causing the smaller man to open his eyes.
"Hiro-san, I brought you some tea."
He looked down to watch Nowaki stroke his stomach.
"Thanks," he said absent-mindedly, too absorbed in the sensations along his lower belly to pay mind to the tea.
Suddenly the hand flattened to press down.
"Hiro-san, what do you think about what the scientist said?"
"Really, Nowaki?" he huffed, "Are we even going to discuss this?"
"I would like to." He rubbed the stomach in slow circles. "I mean, we should at least think about it."
"No."
"I would like to have children. And I would like them to be ours. Both of ours."
"No."
"Well, promise me that you'll think about it," he said, standing up.
"No promises."
Nowaki leaned down to kiss his stomach and then his lips.
"I love you, Hiro-san. I'm going to go read the paper he printed out for us."
Once he had left the room, Hiroki stared at the ceiling and felt his mind wander.
o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.
An hour later Hiroki walked into their bedroom to find Nowaki lying down on the bed.
"What's up with you? You look sorta distressed."
"Hmmm? I guess I am. The dangerousness of the procedure is shocking."
"That bad?"
"No, but it's more of a risk than I'm willing to take."
He sat down next to the taller man and picked up the papers.
After scanning through them, he said, "I don't understand any of this."
"It's quite ingenious actually, what they think they could do.
"They believe that they could implant your sperm inside of an egg, and then proceed to implant that egg inside of you, next to the mass. Then they would introduce my sperm to the egg, which would cause, from what I understand, pregnancy. The main problem with male pregnancy is the fact that there is no uterus in men, and therefore no placenta, which is from where the fetus feeds. The fetus in you would be able to feed off the mass, since its main constituents is the same as the placenta, and other main hormones that you are missing would be administered to you"
"Um… doesn't a baby need a uterus?"
"No. It doesn't."
"This whole thing freaks me out," Hiroki said while lying down.
"I know. Me too. I decided that I don't want you to do it. There's a lot of complications that could go wrong."
"Well, I was thinking… It wouldn't be so bad, would it?"
No reply.
"Well, I mean, you want a child, and I wouldn't mind it that much."
Still no reply.
"It wouldn't be that bad. It is, after all, in the name of science… Something like this has never been possible before…"
"No, Hiro-san. I don't want to risk it."
Nowaki shook his head. He would never put his Hiro-san in the path of danger like that. How could he ever think, even for one second, that he would take that chance?
So I was reading science articles online on a reputable database for a research paper I have to write for one of my classes, and I found that it really isn't necessary for a fetus to develop in a uterus. In fact, there have been many cases where babies develop outside of the womb by natural causes.
Comments are greatly appreciated.