I'm suffering from one of my horrible insomnia messes, so I figure I'll update this story while I wait to pass out! I'm really glad you all seem to like it! And yes, before any of you post as much, I am aware that second person POVs are technically prohibited on this site. I just don't give a fuck. Now, let's move to your love! Orajima, this…is starting to sound sexual. Not that I'm opposed or anything. Just…you know, I'd like to be romantically wooed. Like Dirk wooed Jake, minus the headless kiss. SEDUCE ME, BABY! Kira-Lime Orijima, trust me, I'm as cool as a cactus in the desert. I'm actually the embodiment of nerd-dom. But whatever! If I can write a brute like Shizu-chan, I can write a coolkid like Dave Strider! And I might have actually read it in a British accent. Is that okay? Yukinachan7, I'm doing mooooorrrreeeeee! Red-Rayne, ah, glad you like it! darkestlight96, AH! I'm so glad you think they're in character! *glomps* polyfandrous, oh my lawdy, thank you so muuuuccccchhhhh! Tons of love to all of you! On with the story!
Confession 3: I'm from the south, but grew up thinking I didn't have an accent. Then I met a bunch of people from out of state who always remark on what a "cute" accent I have. So I can relate to Dave. But I don't think I have one. No, as a matter of fact, I know I don't. SO THERE!
The Futile
(Say Anything)
[Shit! Nothing makes sense! So I won't think about it. I'll go with the ignorance. Eat, sleep, fuck and flee; in four words, that's me. I am full of indifference. What do the old people teach us but how to die? (Die!) Die. (Die!) And what do those hissy fits teach you except how to cry, pussy, cry? Yeah the futile, the futile, it outweighs the beautiful! Futile, the futile, it outweighs the beautiful! Futile, the futile, the futile so (the futile, the futile!)
Whoa, you're suddenly so cool, you must be Dave Strider. As a matter of fact, you know you're Dave Strider. It's been decided.
While John babbles about all of the posters on the walls, tells you what movies they're from, which scenes were his favorite, and what actors he had a total hetero-crush on, you can't help but let your mind wander. It's not really your fault. Creative minds like yours are always on the run.
First of all, you're still reeling about the fact you're here, in the flesh, with Egbert. It was supposed to be a surprise, but you found yourself so full of need to talk to someone, you had contacted the last person you probably should have. Damn woman thinks she knows everything, and the conversation you two had early in the morning is still fresh on your mind, making it hard for you to look John in the eyes.
-turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 10:19-
TG: sup
TT: Doth mine eyes deceive me? Am I being pestered by none other than the infamous David Strider?
TG: say youre a real riot there
TG: maybe even a hoot if you dont mind the vernacular
TT: I do not mind the vernacular. To what do I owe the pleasure?
TG: cant a guy just contact the best girl in his life for a conversation
TG: cmon youre not being very peachy
TT: For starters, I haven't heard from you in weeks, and Jade has told me the same. And also, isn't it around 10am your time? You're never up so early.
TG: oh yeah
TG: about that
TG: im getting ready to board a plane you know go see a friend
TG: nbd
TT: It's John, isn't it?
TG: wtf
TT: Am I wrong?
TG: how do you do that
TT: I know you think you're impossible to read, but I like to think of myself as immune to your "Strider Charms". We both know what this trip is about.
TG: yeah its about a gig im playing and seeing my best bro along the way
TG: i love how you always jump to the worst possible conclusion
TT: Notice how I never even said why I think you're going. You did that for the both of us, which can only mean you're already entertaining those thoughts. Should I warn John of your depravity?
TG: jesus fuckin christ
TG: here i thought we could have a normal conversation for once without your thoughts about how im subconsciously longing to ravish egderp
TG: my bad
TT: Sometimes I wonder how you can type so fast for your little rants. I can barely get one word written in the time it takes you to write all that.
TT: Furthermore, you only rant when you're nervous or excited, and since you always try to hide both of those emotions, I'm supposing it's all due to your impending visit to John. How is he taking the news?
TG: he doesnt know yet
TT: Are you serious?
TG: i thought it would be sweet to surprise him so hes not all freaking out before i even get there
TT: You do realize he has a job? And school?
TG: no really i had no clue
TG: i only talked to him last night about his shitty job god forbid i think he could use a break
TG: and hes on spring break all week from school so its no sweat
TT: How are you going to get his manager to give him time off? John has always told me his boss is an absolute terror.
TG: ill figure something out
TG: anyway
TG: figured id let you know whats up from my end cause i knew if john told you first youd fill his head with this nonsense of yours
TT: I still haven't said anything nonsensical.
TG: everything you say is nonsensical therapy bullshit
TT: And there go your defenses.
TG: oh man youre still going
TT: Look, all I'm saying is you only contact me when you want advice about something, and before you say anything about that, no, I don't take offense to it. I like being the one you can come to, but I don't expect contact every day. It's unlike you.
TT: Unlike you to everyone except John Egbert. We both know it's been that way for a long time.
TG: and it gets better and better huh
TT: Do you still have that picture of him in your wallet?
TG: goddamn how do you know these things
TT: I didn't. I knew you saved the picture, but I didn't know it was on your person. Bravo.
TG: well now that im sufficiently knocked off my pedestal i think im gonna finish packing and what not
TG: salways a pleasure lalonde
TT: Alright, I realize we're not going to get anywhere else this time. I shall let you pester me whenever you feel the need.
TG: im so privileged
TT: Oh, and Dave?
TG: what
TT: Try to keep your urges under wraps, if you get my drift. John is much cuter than he used to be.
TT: Peace out, dog.
-tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 10:37-
So here you are now, this conversation fresh on your mind, as well as all the others Rose tries to shove down your throat. And she wonders why you don't contact her as often as you used to. As far as you're concerned, she's always trying to project hers and Kanaya's relationship onto other people. Sure, they were friends first, but that might not work for everybody. At first you had hoped this was a phase of hers, but she still does it every time you two talk. You wonder why you even contacted her.
"Yoo-hoo! Daaaave!" A voice calls. Your attention is drawn back to John, who you realize you were staring at the entire time you were thinking about Rose. Good thing he can't tell because of your shades, or he might have noticed the ogling you've been doing. Begrudgingly, you can admit Lalonde was right-about one thing, at least. John Egbert was cuter than he used to be. And since he was already on par with kittens in Christmas stockings before, you can't even begin to fathom where that places him now.
As soon as you saw him, that pit in your stomach seemed to disappear. You felt warm near him, and comfortable despite just meeting in person. He was the same derpy kid you imagined behind the blue text, only enhanced. His wide, too blue eyes looked up at you with admiration, like you were the most awesome thing he'd ever seen. His black hair seemed to go every which way, and its desire to not be styled was a style in itself. You'd have to gel the hell out of yours to achieve the same look. Even his thick rimmed spectacles seemed to suit him, and you almost couldn't think of him any other way.
This is John Egbert, you had thought to yourself when he hugged you without warning. This is…a problem.
"Are you even paying attention to me?!" he yelped, smacking you lightly on the arm.
"Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry. I was lost in your rant about Nic Cage somewhere around the time you said you wanted to die in his hairy man arms," you reply, shaking your head to avoid looking in his eyes as he puffed up defensively at your words.
"I did not say that!"
"Of all the men to have a crush on, you choose that horse-faced bastard. Have you not seen the memes where people glue his face to random things? I saw one the other day where this little girl put on a headband, and when she looked up, her face was Nic Cage's gaunt looking mug. Shit gave me nightmares, bro. And here you have it all over your walls."
"You're such a loser, Dave," John sighs. "He's obviously handsome, otherwise he wouldn't be so popular with the ladies."
"I'm gonna have nightmares. Shell-shocked, Egbert. I'll get home and see his face everywhere."
"You're already screwed up anyway because of Smuppets. Cage can be further down on your list," he says with a 'hmph' at the end. You can't help but think of how cute he looks like that.
"So," you say, walking around him, "what's on the agenda for today?"
"Well I don't know. Maybe if I was given some warning about the visit…"
"Blah, blah, I know. Rose said basically the same thing. I figured you wouldn't mind, my bad."
"I don't mind!" he yelps hurriedly, eyes going even wider and locking on your face. "I'm really glad to see you, I swear! I'm just… You're gonna be bored."
"Nah."
"Uh, yeah, you will. I have to work tomorrow night, and every night until next week. I'll miss your gig too. I can't even go."
"I'm taking care of that later, don't sweat it. You gotta go with, dude. It's one of the things I was most looking forward to. You're not gonna deny that from me, are you?"
"Karkat is insane. He's not going to let me off."
"We'll see. Look, why don't we go get some food and you can show me around. I'd much rather drive around with you than Cabbie nevershutsthefuckup McGee. Shit was mind-numbing, man. If I'm ever that happy about a picket fence, I'm gonna kill myself and do the world a favor."
John is laughing at you again, and you realize you really like the sound. You want to keep him smiling, if you can. He nods, and goes to grab his keys and wallet from the computer desk, and you can't help but smirk as he side-steps the wires, eyeing them warily. Goddamn, he's too fucking cute.
Somewhere, you just know Lalonde is having a field day.
[I'm eating rat poison for dinner. Pull the cord from the phone. I am dining alone, tonight. Rat poison for dinner. Pull the cord from the phone. I am dining alone. So goodnight. Love! I shall not love, yet I'll still sing about it. I hope it covers the ocean in slime, the drama and drool. I'm leaking the blood of a fool. (I'm full of it, I'm full of it, I'm full.) Rat poison for dinner. Pull the chord from the phone. I am dining alone, tonight. Rat poison for dinner. Pull the chord from the phone. I am dining alone. Tonight. Oh I am dining alone. Tonight. Tonight. Tonight!]
Sachi: Hehehe, dorks in love. Gotta love it! And none of you better say Dave isn't dorky! I think the latest update with him laughing hysterically at his own selfies and crying was the affirming factor. So, yay, review for love! Till next time, my lovelies!