Passenger 3-B
Author's Note: Dean will be having a flashback.
Chapter Twenty-Four
"Shut up, Doc!" The patient screamed. "Yeah, it was and I need to pay for it!"
"No, stop it!" John cried. "Don't do this to yourself…and to Jo and Brianna…please stop."
"I'm a fuck-up and don't deserve to have Sam or anyone else…I deserve to be punished!"
"Dean, what happened that night?" Dr. Lowell inquired, watching tears fall from the patient onto the table.
Flashback
Dean sat in his SUV, watching a young man across the street, and finally motioned him over. The Italian male, possibly in his early twenties, wearing jeans and a white wife-beater shirt, opened the vehicle door and sat in the passenger seat.
"Hey."
Dean looked him over, "Hey, yourself."
"Whatcha want done?"
"What is your specialty and how much?"
The young man laughed, "Well, I'm up for anything and usually get $400 for the first thirty minutes and another $200 if you can make it to an hour."
Dean whipped out a thousand dollars, "I can definitely make it to an hour…can you?"
"Oh yeah." He chuckled, leaning over to unzip his new client's jeans.
"Whoa, whoa!" Dean pushed the guy's hands away.
"What's the matter…need some help to get-it-up?"
Dean looked away, "Why are you a whore?"
"What?"
Dean turned back and asked the confused male, "If you could take this cash and go some place, where would you go?"
"I dunno…maybe take my mom out for a nice dinner and a show."
Dean handed him to cash, "Then take her tonight."
"Dude, is this part of a game or what?"
"I uh, got a bonus and my wife said for us to donate it to a charity and I sometimes see you here and want to give it to you." Dean whipped out a several more hundred dollars, "Take this and then you can quit…go to school; help your mom; whatever…it's yours."
"Uh…whatcha want in return then?"
"Just for you to be happy and out of this business, because I used to be in it."
"Why were you watching me all those other times?"
"You kinda remind me of my first love…he too, had dark hair and blue eyes." Dean admitted, "I never got a chance to say goodbye and uh, never mind."
The male took the cash and opened the door, "thanks."
"Do you need a ride or can I call you a cab?"
"No, I uh…" The blue-eyed man sat back down and closed the door, "Look, you need to take this cash to Father Lombardi at Mount Calvary Catholic Church since he desperately needs it."
"But, I want you to have it."
"Sir, you don't understand…my name is Officer Joseph Moretti and I'm on the vice squad for this area. You need to talk to Father Lombardi about your past, fetishes, and that donation, but you can't hang around here or you'll be arrested." He paused, wanting to assist. "I don't think your wife would want you to hang around here since its extremely dangerous and you're never gonna see your first love here either."
"Sorry."
"Don't be…just go and talk to him, because for a priest, he's amazing." The undercover policeman said, adding a smile and handing back the cash.
"Thanks," Dean said, immediately driving over to the church since it would kill his parents and Jo if they ever found out he was there, or worse, if he had gotten arrested.
Officer Moretti was right about the priest and Dean talked to him for hours. Father Lombardi came to the conclusion that Dean felt very guilty for having a perfect life and was nervous about being a horrible father to his baby girl. By the time he got home, Dean was exhausted and fell into a deep sleep.
Jo felt responsible about all the hours her husband had been putting in at his stressful job and decided to let him sleep in. She gathered up her daughter and headed to the mall with her mother.
Babe,
I took Brianna to the mall with my mom so you can have a quiet morning. I'll pick you up a blueberry pie in the food court for later.
You are the most awesome husband and father EVER!
We love you, XOXO,
Jo & Bri
End of Flashback
Dean was incredibly emotional and needed a few minutes to compose himself, while the others watched him with heartbreak.
"Do you want to continue?" The doctor inquired as the patient nodded.
"The first thing that needs to be said, is that as a medical professional, it is very common for a healthy male to have sexual thoughts every fifteen minutes." Dr. Lowell educated, "You watched a male from afar, masturbated with thoughts of him and then wanted to help him. There is nothing wrong with that, even though he turned out to be a police officer. You never acted on having sexual intercourse; therefore, you have nothing to be guilty of."
"Dean, the doctor is right," Bill stated. "Jo would use any excuse to be at the mall…hell, my wife was the same way."
Light laughter emerged from everyone, including the patient.
"It is very important to have you state all of your guilt, which can be done now or at a later time." The psychiatrist said, adding a warm smile. "Or you can speak with your priest or a friend, but just get it out in the open. Obviously, keeping it inside is not healthy for you mentally or physically."
"Yeah, that's me…the mental case."
"Son, stop that," John said, walking toward him. "You've beaten yourself up too much…you're not to blame for anyone dying."
Dean watched his father, taking notice for the first time today of how sincere John was. He seemed loving and genuinely concerned, something Dean had never experienced before.
John continued in a soft tone, sitting down in the chair suddenly vacated by Castiel, who went to sit in the older Winchester's seat. "Son, I hate the fact that you seem to blame yourself over everything since nothing is really your fault. You punished yourself over Jo and Brianna's death; you punished yourself over your weight gain and you punished yourself after being manipulated by that psycho and you need to stop."
John took a hold of Dean's hand, "I know that I have a long way to go in receiving forgiveness from you, but I need you to know that I love you." Dean's heart began beating at a fast rate as his palms became sweaty. He never felt love from either parent before, but this seemed heartfelt and he desperately craved it. Dean was about to speak his true feelings when John pulled him into a hug and lightly kissed him on the cheek.
Dean could hear Bill mumble something as Lucille wept with happiness. In fact, Dean had tears falling and that scared him a little. Dean tried to remember the last time he had a hug from his parent and the only memories that came were at the funerals. But those weren't real hugs; therefore, he had none to remember.
"Son, I really want to be your friend and I hope you'll let me into your life again," John stated, breaking their embrace. "I know that your life will consist of Sam and although I'm still not in favor of same-sex relationships, I want to be a part of it. I'm learning the meaning of love again, thanks to you, and want to be there to watch you grow. Sam knows my true feelings as we had spoken and I would like the chance to get to know him better, as well as his entire family. And yeah, that includes Castiel."
Dean watched his father glance at Cas, who in return, gave an approving nod and gestured he was in favor of that idea.
"I need to tell you a secret that I've been keeping and just wanted you to know that it wasn't my idea, but I had no choice as I had promised your mother." John took several deep breaths and continued while his son anxiously listened. "Your mom has breast cancer, but she's aggressively fighting it with chemotherapy and is beating it."
John watched all the blood drain out of his child's face and pulled him into another hug, except this time, Dean hugged him back.
After several minutes and a few tears, they composed themselves again.
"Son, she didn't want to add to your burden, so she made me promise and I agreed." John gave a consoling smile, "We are seeing the best doctor and he's assured us that things are working out. I know she desperately wants to see you, but she's tired…and damn suborned."
Light laughter, once again, emerged from everyone, including the patient.
"Yeah, that's the Campbell family…stubborn jackasses." Dean joked, earning laughs as well.
A few minutes of silence loomed until Dean spoke, "Does she really wanna see me?"
John nodded, "Of course…she loves and needs you."
"Is she gonna die?" Dean sadly asked with more tears looming.
"I honestly don't know and that scares both of us greatly," John admitted. "However, we are truly being positive about the chemo and are following all of the doctor's orders."
"I think I wanna see her when I get out of here…is that possible?"
Wiping away happy tears, John nodded, "absolutely."
The doctor cleared his throat, "Although I am incredibly happy of this tender moment, and we need to explore this new found relationship, I'm afraid that we need to move on or take a break, because we need to speak with Sam."
Dean instantly glanced at his boyfriend, noticing the nervousness and compassion in his eyes, "Hey, Doc, I wanna continue…I need to hear from Sam."
Dr. Lowell then motioned for Sam to begin.
TBC…