Passenger 3-B
Chapter Twenty-Five
Sam cleared his throat and nervously began speaking, "I uh, didn't uh, mean to lie about my last name. I uh, swear I thought I'd mentioned it in Hawaii. And I'm extremely sorry for having Luke show up and torture you like he uh, did."
Dr. Lowell asked, "Sam, how do you really feel about Dean and what do you want from him."
"I love him and desperately want him to forgive me," Sam sincerely remarked as tears began falling. "I want him to…"
"Don't tell me…tell him." The psychiatrist firmly suggested.
Sam immediately looked into his boyfriend's eyes, "I love you…deeply and forever. I want you to know this and I'm going to do whatever is necessary to get you to forgive me. I think we still have a future together and I want to show you how happy we could be together. I want to share my life with you…make you happy, and more importantly, help you get healthy again."
Dean sat there, taking all this in. Although, Dean felt the same way… he couldn't express himself. He desperately wanted to jump up and take Sam into his arms, but he was frozen. How could all of this happened….one minute they were making love all over Hawaii and then the next, they were kept apart? Dean didn't understand why he blamed Sam, but he did. And obviously, Sam blamed himself, which isn't really accurate.
"I know I have a lot to make up for and I hope to earn the chance to prove it to you…to us," Sam responded to a still silent Dean.
"Well, Dean, what do you think about Sam's acknowledgment?" Dr. Lowell inquired.
"I-I uh…I-I uh, umm…" The patient stuttered.
"Dean, p-please….please let me make it to you." Sam pleaded.
"I know, you want to make stuff up to me, and I want to as well, but I don't think you should waste your time…I'm still not worth it." Dean said, head fallen in shame.
"No…don't!" Sam exclaimed, jumping up to pull his boyfriend to (somewhat) eye level. "How many times do I have to tell you that you need to stop talking like that? Like you're worthless and not suitable of having me! And earlier, you called yourself Dean Nobody…that's bullshit! Your name is Dean Winchester and you're special….you are loving, caring and most importantly…not selfish. Although I haven't known you that long, I know that you are an incredible human being who I call my boyfriend and I wanna share the rest of my life with you."
"But, Sam…"
"No! Don't say a word…let me finish!" Sam exclaimed, taking a hold of Dean's hand. "Listen, I need you in my life…just like everyone here in this room does. We love you and want you healthy again."
Sam paused, leaning in close to his beau's ear, "I love you very much and want you back."
Dean whispered in his ear, "I love you too but…"
Sam interrupted, "Don't say anything negative about yourself."
"I uh…"
"Dean, I love you and will do anything to win you back," Sam disrupted again. "I want you to tell me the truth…do I have a chance to win you back?"
"I uh…I-I don't blame you for anything since it was all me," Dean said. "I mean, I was blown away by your last name, but it was when I thought you wanted me to lose weight that I knew, deep down, that I wasn't good enough for you."
"I said stop that!"
"No, Sam, you stop and listen!" Dean shouted back. "I see myself as a selfish whore who got his family killed, and I hafta to live with that forever. But, you…you could have it all with a guy who is worthy of you and your wealth. I'm not that guy and that was proven when I ended up here."
Sam sighed, "Ending up here was a horrible, and one-hundred percent my fault, but I won't stand for you to say that shit about yourself. We have so much to catch up on, but from my personal experience with losing loved ones at such a young age, I feel that we need to speed this up…immediately move on toward the future because there is no time to waste."
Sam pulled up his boyfriend into a kiss and Dean eagerly responded by taking him in. Sam tasted exactly how Dean had remembered and dreamed about.
Before the psychiatrist could speak, a light applause broke out, causing the couple to awkwardly separate with crimson faces.
"I just want to say that I know we're going to need more therapy and take things somewhat slow, but I am going to make it my life's mission to make you happy." Sam said, taking his boyfriend's hand again.
"I would like that."
"Dean, what could I do to make us a couple again?" Sam asked.
Dean looked around the room, finally remembering that others were still in the room and became self-conscience. "I dunno."
"What is the first thing I could do for you when you get out of here?"
Dean shrugged, "Maybe we could go back to Hawaii…if you want."
Sam answered that suggestion with a passionate kiss.
"So, what's next?" Michael asked, as light laughter broke out. It had been a long, over-whelming session and all were tired, hungry and happy. Everyone had admitted their secrets and felt relieved when all was out in the open.
Dr. Lowell stood, "This was a very productive session and although, I feel this was an amazing breakthrough, we still have a lot more to discuss…in solo and group gatherings."
"I know, but can't we just enjoy this moment." Sam wondered.
"Of course." The analyst said, knowing more sessions are definitely needed, but thankful this one was very successful. "Although Dean still needs to rebuild his broken relationships, I feel this was extremely prolific; therefore, I am suggesting that Dean may leave the hospital for two hours. Would you like that, Dean?"
Dean glanced up to Sam, nodding.
"That's terrific!" Sam shouted with glee. "Dean, will you go on a date with me?"
"A date?" Dean chuckled as Sam gave his bitch face.
"Where can I take you…take your mind off of things?" Sam asked.
"I dunno…maybe just take a drive," Dean suggested. "I just want some fresh air since I've been cooped up in this stale-ass place."
Sam laughed, "Great, I'll get the car."
"Whoa…whoa!" Dean said. "I wanna speak with John…I mean, my dad…uh, in private, okay?"
"Yeah, of course." Sam said, as the others began to leave.
"Dean, before you and Sam take off on your date, I need to speak with you and your other doctors." Dr. Lowell mentioned while Dean nodded in agreement.
Dean sat back down next to his father, finally alone. "Dad, I really want to see mom…I would rather do that then go on a silly so-called date with Sam. I mean, I really want to be alone with him since we have so much to discuss, but if mom is sick, I wanna be there for her."
"Son, I bet she would want that more than anything in the whole word, but I gotta be honest with you…" John searched for the right words. "She doesn't know that I was coming here today and I think I better fill her in on the things that were said here today. I need to warn her that you know…how I broke my promise."
Dean agreed, "I guess you're right."
"I am, but we'll come up with the right time for you to speak with her," John promised. "However, you need to keep your mind clear and just enjoy your time with Sam, because he's right about time being too short. We really need to start living our moments to the fullest."
"Thanks, Dad…I really do fill a lot better and I'm so glad you came today." Dean sincerely declared.
Dean spoke with Dr. Lowell and the others and all agreed that Dean shouldn't engage in sexual activity since his body and mind weren't fully healed.
John then walked his son back to his private room, only to find Sam waiting. He was wearing a blue silk shirt with black jeans, carrying a bouquet of white roses.
"Here, these are for you," Sam handed his boyfriend the flowers. "And I brought you some new clothes to wear."
Dean hugged his father goodbye and took the shopping bag into his private bathroom. After taking a quick, and much needed shower, he began dressing. Upon looking at himself into the mirror, Dean was shocked to see a normal-looking Dean staring back at him. He was wearing blue jeans and a long-sleeved sea green dress shirt. Hmm, I kinda look good…a little chunky in…
Dean was interrupted by Sam knocking on the door, "Dean, do you need anything?"
Dean took a deep breath and opened the door, "I'm ready now."
Sam stood there in amazement, "Wow, you look fantastic."
"Thanks."
"Can I give you a kiss before we leave?"
Dean shrugged as Sam slowly walked over and cupped his cheek, "I missed you so much, that I actually ached."
"I know…me too…s-sorry."
"Dean, you need to stop apologizing for everything," Sam stated. "We need to move on…get on with our relationship."
Dean nodded in agreement, desperately waiting for the kiss. Thankfully, Sam sensed that need and engulfed him into a deep, sensual kiss. He wanted to be gentle, like earlier, but passion immediately took over. Before either one had knew it, they were tongue deep and completely hard.
"Uh, S-Sam…" Dean broke apart after what had seemed like hours of making out. "I-I umm…not gonna make it."
"I know…u-uh, me too." Sam replied, panting harder than his boyfriend. "How about we go into the bathroom and uh…"
Both immediately began to laugh as the situation suddenly came incredibly awkward.
"You know what…I think we're moving too fast." Sam said, sensing Dean was thinking the same thing. "We could jerk off and then leave. I honestly do have a real date planned, but I'll do whatever you want to do."
"Uh…jerk off together or each other?"
Sam shrugged, "You decide."
Dean couldn't help but laugh…just a few hours ago, he thought his dad and Sam hated him, but now, all seemed to worked itself out. He wanted Sam inside of him, but knew that it would be wise to wait, since they had so much to talk about. Their relationship needed to be repaired, and one family therapy session wouldn't due since they had a long road of recovery to go.
But how could either one of them ignore their raging boners?
"I vote we jerk one another off." Dean suggested as Sam eagerly pulled him into the bathroom and locked the door.
TBC…