Hola! I'm not gonna lie you guys. I'm totally impatient. I don't crank these chapters out super fast because I have all this unlimited free time or anything. On the contrary, I'm always working. I just get really excited about stories, and then have a hard time not updating! Plus you never know when something might come up to cease updates for a while, so no time like the present! Really, it's these chapters coming up I'm so excited about. I love writing crazy nights like this one! (I haven't been so excited about a story since WTCF!) And lucky for you guys, that just means for once, hitching your bandwagon to mine MIGHT not end in turmoil. So, without any more useless garb, let's move on to your love! (for those who didn't get to review last chapter, I'm sorry! I'll wait longer to update next time.) luckycat222, I should invent a meow-nacure! Jake is a huge sweetheart, but his dialect is hard for me! DX He's got his own language almost. I don't guess it's his fault though. I figure the Striders will never outgrow their blood feud. I do NOT scheme all the time! Sometimes I'm innocent! But yeah, you should possibly be concerned for the guys. You know how I roll. Rai Rai Blue, I updated secretly while you were gone! Now you'll come back to this and be surprised! At least I'm not telling you while you're gone, because I know you'll only freak out about not being able to read it. So…yeah. Of course you love Dirk and Jake! If you were to read the comic in the acts where everyone gets to actually witness their train wreck of a relationship, you'd get to join in the turmoil that is the Dirk/Jake fandom. I still hold out hope they'll get back together. Nekogirl813, I know, right? Kira-Lime Orijima, HE PROBABLY WOULD ENJOY IT MORE THAN YOU KNOW! Yes, Dirk and Jake! And uh…*pulls John in for cuddles* No slapping mah baby! lovemahBF, I THINK WE ALL HATE HER FOR THAT! Roxy better be glad I love her. I actually hate Jane. And, uh, yeah, hand holding! Whoo! darkestlight96, sorry. :( It was posted for a bit, but it wasn't going where I wanted it to. I was too worried that it would ruin the original story, so it was taken down. I hope you can forgive me! Enough rambles for now. On with the story!

Confession 8: I share a lot of things in common with John Egbert, but I'm at an impasse with him about baked goods. I eat them like a fiend. I do prefer Duncan Hines cake mixes though, so I guess I can deal with his hatred of Crocker!

Pursuit of Happiness

(Kid Cudi featuring MGMT and Ratatat)

[Crush a bit, little bit, roll it up, take a hit. Feelin' lit feelin' light, 2 am summer night. I don't care, hand on the wheel, driving drunk, I'm doin' my thing. Rollin' the Midwest side and out, livin' my life, getting' out dreams. People told me slow my roll; I'm screaming out fuck that. Imma do just what I want, lookin' ahead, no turnin' back. If I fall, if I die, know I lived it to the fullest. If I fall, if I die, know I lived and missed some bullets. I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold. I'll be fine once I get it, yeah. I'll be good. . I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold. I'll be fine once I get it, yeah. I'll be good.]

You're John Egbert, and you've been having a blast with Dave as he gets everything situated. Roxy informed you that the bar doesn't open until at least five, so you've got plenty of time to make sure Dave has everything exactly as he wants it. And you'd be lying if you said you didn't like watching him work.

It's weird, in a good way. You're not used to seeing him so passionate about anything. He's normally trying to act as though he doesn't care about anything, but that's all part of his façade. You know he builds these walls around himself to protect himself, because you've known that since you were both eleven years old. Even then he found it easier to pretend nothing bothered him than to face whatever it may be head on. It's never been an issue for you like it has been for Rose though. She and her tentacle therapy are always analyzing him, trying to get him to move past his little mental blocks and open up more. She's only trying to help him, as she always does with you, but you've already decided you'd love Dave no matter if he was being himself, or his ironic coolkid Strider façade.

And you didn't just say love, nopenopenope.

You look up at him again, and see him pulling records toward his little work station. His turntables are at the middle, officially tangle-free and shined up to the nines. He has a box under the work space, all filled with different records. Many are his own mixes, he tells you, but others are popular dance club songs, because the crowd will want to dance to at least a few songs they know. He knows these things, he tells you, because playing gigs is just part of what he's always done. Reading the crows is easy, he said. Knowing what people want is second nature, when he's caught in the beat and moving with the rhythm.

You realize you can't wait to see him up here, lit up by the stage lights, doing what makes him happy. You'd tell him so, if you weren't already so embarrassed by your earlier actions. You'd almost kissed him, and he had almost let you. It had been a spur of the moment reaction, of course. His crimson eyes affect you in a way you've never experienced before, and you've come to look at his shades as your protection more than his. Those eyes know everything about you when they look into yours, and you can't help yourself. All you could think of at that moment was his lips on yours, whispering his deep voiced 'babe' and whatever else he might think to call you. It hadn't been a bad image at all. But the thought of actually doing that with him, of telling him your feelings- it was too much. You couldn't do that yet.

Someone like you, derpy, crazy haired and stupid teeth John Egbert; how could you even think you had a chance with him? Dave always knew who he was, even if he did make up another personality to protect himself. Dave knew what he wanted. And Dave would never want you.

Facts of life, yo.

Still, you can't help smiling at him whenever you know he's looking at you, and you can't help but casually brush against him whenever you pass him to go untangle something else. You crave his contact by this point, but you know you shouldn't. Even if he's fine with it, he'll be leaving soon enough. And…then what?

No, you're not thinking about that either, nopenopenope.

He's here with you now, and that's enough. So stop thinking like your weird feelings about him are anything more than bro related. You're just caught up in the idea of having him so close, that's all. And your hero worship of him is shifting to romantic tension. You just have to rein it back in. Yeah, you can do this. Totally platonic feelings here.

"You look like a little kitten looking at a saucer of cream," a giggle comes from beside you. Jerking with sudden alertness, you look over to see Roxy smiling deviously at you. "Is Mr. Southern up there your beau?"

"No. No, he's not," you say, hearing the disappointment in your own voice, so you know she hears it too. It's funny. When Gamzee asked you the same thing just the night before, you had yelped and adamantly refused, saying no like it wasn't even plausible. Now though. Now it just hurts. She sighs sadly.

"Unrequited?" she asks.

"I…I haven't asked. I mean, there's nothing to ask. I mean, shit, I don't know what I mean anymore."

Her hand roams to the small of your back, and she actually has to lean down to put her head on your shoulder.

"I know how you feel, baby," she says. "They always tell you coming to terms with your sexuality is the hardest part of realizing you're not entirely straight, but in reality, the hardest part is finding who you're supposed to be with. Not everyone wears a sign that says 'open to explore' on their heads, you know. I had my fair share of heartbreak, falling for straight bitches."

That's not exactly your problem here, but you nod anyway. "How…did you know to try with your girlfriend now?"

"Ah. She's a super tight ass, actually. Told me no more times than I can tell you," she giggles. You stare at her.

"So, um… How did that…change?"

"Oh! Right, sorry, I was reminiscing. Well, basically, I went out with another girl, thinking Jane Crocker would never feel the same about me. We were roommates before we were lovers, b.t-dubs. So Ms. Whateverhernamewas walked me home, and kissed me outside, and the next thing I know, Jane's throwing the door open and tugging me in, glaring daggers at my date, and then slammed the door. She kissed me, and the rest is history."

"I wonder what changed for her," you say, watching Dave arrange the records he'll be using. He's glancing at you every now and then, obviously confused by the close proximity of you and Roxy.

"I guess she realized I wasn't gonna wait for her stupid ass forever," the blonde laughs. "I loved her, of course, even then. But I learned a long time ago not to waste time on anyone who didn't want me. Life's too short for that shit. You know?"

"Yeah. I know."

"With that said, I'd say Shades up there is crazy for you."

"Huh?" You look over to her to see her pink eyes lit up in mischief.

"He hasn't stopped staring at us since I came over here, and it's not me he's checking out. Plus, that was some serious PDA earlier with that little hug. I should've gotten a picture, but I guess I wasn't close enough for that anyway."

You consider telling her that she actually interrupted a potential kiss between you two, but decide against it. Instead, you put your arm around her, earning an eyebrow raise from Dave, who's still trying to pretend he's not watching.

"Thanks, Rox. No, for real. We need to exchange information or something, because you give great advice, and my other friend I go to for advice knows too much about me sometimes, so I can just have two therapists instead of one. I'd say I'm fucked up enough for that."

"Heh. Everyone is, kid." Her lips meet your cheek. "Ugh, you cute little young boys coming in here, testing me! If I was a little younger and single…"

"Younger?"

"Don't judge. I'm almost thirty."

"Oh. You look my age."

And she kisses you again, her mouth stretched in a wide grin. "Sweet-talker."

She leaves you then, going over to talk to a muscular man in black who you assume is part of the security. It's almost opening time, and she says Jane will come in soon to watch the show. Roxy and she both take turns bartending on really busy nights, and Dave is drawing quite the crowd.

You make your way back over to Dave, who seems to have finally finished getting everything together.

"You have lipstick on your face," he says without looking up, and you wipe it away with a cheesy grin.

"Sorry. Roxy was telling me about how she met Jane. Apparently it makes her pretty sentimental." He wraps an arm around you easily.

"She's something else for sure, man."

"You all finished over here?" you ask, fingering the record edges before meeting his shades. He shrugs.

"More or less. Is it almost five?"

"Yeah, Roxy just went to get everything set up with security. They have extra tonight. Guess you're already popular, bro."

"Told you man, people can't resist my Strider charm. Does me good, but also causes harm."

"Dave," you laugh, nudging him slightly before he gets into another rap battle with himself.

"Hey, so look. I was thinking it might be good for you to actually sit at the bar or something for most of the night. I mean, it's your first time at a club, right? It gets pretty…close, if you feel me," he informs you.

"I know. I might sit it out, but I'd like to see you up close too."

"I can just play for you later, John."

"It wouldn't be the same! And you came all this way for me! I can mingle with some sweaty assholes for a few minutes so you can 'look into my derpy face while mixing sick beats'."

He smirks a bit when you quote him. Roxy calls over and says it's opening time, so Dave needs to finish getting ready.

"That means no more distracting him with your fine ass, John!" she adds.

Grinning at her, you slide out from under his arm, but when you're passing him, he pulls you back against him.

"Dave?"

"I…fuck, John."

"Huh?"

"I'm really glad you're here."

You feel yourself flush as you hug him back, grinning like an idiot into his shoulder. "I'm really glad I'm here with you," you whisper. "I've…been thinking about that since you got here."

"Me too, baby."

There it is again, his deep voice calling you such a name, and so easily too. This time you can't blame it on sleep or lack of judgment. Dave knows exactly what he's saying. Your heart hammers in your chest, and your lips are kissing his neck before you can fully grasp the situation. Not in a heated way, but just a gentle press of the lips to his pulse, hard enough for him to know it's happening. He stiffens against you, his hands digging into your back as he inhales sharply.

"Egbert…"

"Hm?"

"I need to talk to you about something."

"I need to talk to you about something too."

"Okay. Okay, but let's wait. I can't play all this shit with too much on my mind. You can listen to me being an idiot later. For now, just…be safe, you dork."

"Safe as can be. That will be me," you grin, finally untangling yourself from him.

-gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 21:07-

GG: jooooooohhhhnnnnn!

EB: hi, jade!

GG: i missed you! dave took you from me!

EB: nah he's not cool enough to do that. i just fell asleep last night before i could message you back. i'm sorry.

GG: dont be silly

GG: im just glad youre having fun! :D

EB: you're so awesome!

GG: isnt tonight daves thing? he was saying something about a gig?

EB: yeah. i'm at it now.

GG: how is it?

EB: LOUD.

You're at the bar, as you figured you'd be. Dave's in his zone right now, onstage with the lights glinting off him and his shades. You figure he's probably operating off instinct, because there's no way he can tell where he's putting his hands with those shades on. He can't. It's so dark in here, you can barely see, and you're not even wearing sunglasses. He's really something else.

GG: is dave as good as hes always saying?

EB: ugh, jade. so amazing.

GG: :D

EB: he's in his own little world up there. each time he gets into a song he starts dancing in place to it, and it's so fucking dorky and cute i don't even know what to do.

GG: cute?

GG: john did you just call dave cute?

GG: did i miss something

GG: john!

EB: sorry. you didn't miss anything. why?

GG: because last time i checked youd never call another guy cute!

EB: oh yeah. i'm drinking a little. let's blame that.

GG: dont get carried away! D:

GG: but you know you can tell me anything john were practically siblings were so close!

GG: do you like dave?

EB: …

EB: a lot.

GG: oh my goooooood!

EB: and it sucks so hard. i'm not cool enough for him i don't know what my brain is thinking.

EB: he's so perfect jade.

GG: this is such good news! you two would be so cute together!

EB: do you think he could feel the same?

GG: has he made any…moves?

EB: he hugs me a lot and held my hand earlier.

GG: :DDD

EB: and he keeps calling me names like baby.

GG: …

EB: jade?

GG: this

GG: is

EB: jade.

GG: so

GG: CUUUUTE!

EB: oh my god.

GG: seriously john! im so excited for you!

EB: i'm telling him later.

EB: fuck, i'm so scared. this could ruin everything.

GG: or make it better!

GG: dont be scared!

"There's my motherfuckin' bro-mein," a familiar voice says, and you look up from your phone to see the all too friendly Gamzee stalking toward you. Sputtering like an idiot, you watch him take the seat beside you, the ever present dopey grin on his face.

EB: fuck jade i have to go.

-ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 21:19-

GG: what?

GG: john?

GG: please be careful :(

-gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 21:20-

"Gamzee!" you say happily, a little more loudly than you meant to thanks to your third rum and coke Roxy had sent your way 'on the house'. You welcome his hug for once as his long limbs grab you in a vice grip. "What are you doing here?"

"Karbro got all pissed about having to work an extra night. You know Thursdays are his days to be all motherfuckin' lazy. So I was all, 'hey best friend, let's go crash this gig biz', and dragged him here. 'Cause, I mean, it's not like we had much else to do. Be gettin' my motherfuckin' chill on."

"Karkat is here? Where?"

"No, Gamzee, I didn't need help parking the car or anything. As a matter of fact, I'm glad you sauntered in here like a fucking brain dead sloth while I was out there fending for myself against all the sick fucks grinding on each other like they're lust filled face sucking filth. THANK you for that."

"Right here," Gamzee says easily, reaching out to tug Karkat forward.

"Hi, Karkat!" you grin, swaying slightly on your feet before you sit back down.

"Are you drunk, John? Because that would be entirely irresponsible of you when you have work tomorrow and are alone while Suzy Q is up there slapping records for a living."

"Karbro, you need to get your mellow on. John's got us here now and we got his back. You got nothing to fear, my man."

"Thanks, guys!" you grin. "And I'm not drunk, thank you very much. If I was drunk I wouldn't be so nervous."

"What's making you all motherfuckin' nervous, my inebriated brother?"

"Oh, nothing," you say, eyes glancing to the stage. Dave's mixing a popular club song now, and the crowd is going crazy as his hands move lightning fast across the turntables. He's focused on his work now, but you still wish you were brave enough to go towards the stage and see him up close. Sadly, the very thought makes you sick to your stomach. The floor is beyond packed, and just getting up there would be a challenge in itself.

"Oh, Jesus tap-dancing Christ, Egbert. Are you still fawning over that numbskull up there? If you don't have the bulge to admit your ridiculous crush, you can't exactly complain," Karkat grumbles, falling easily in the stool to the other side of you, making you in the middle. You turn to him.

"It's not that easy, you know! I'm going to! I just…wish I wasn't so fucking nervous."

Jane comes over, and you look beside you to see it was Gamzee who waved her towards you. She's nice enough, but you prefer Roxy by a landslide as a bartender. She doesn't ask as many questions.

"Yes?" she asks Gamzee, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Can I get three motherfuckin' shots of tequila?"

"Whoa, no, dude. I don't need to drink anymore," you say, putting a hand on his shoulder. He waves you off, handing cash to Jane, who takes it with a frown on her face.

"It'll be making you all calm, my high-strung brother. Clubs like these call for drinks, you know? Plus I need one real fuckin' bad after the drive here."

"The DRIVE here would've been just fine if you weren't a completely stupid fuck."

You grin at them, deciding a few more drinks couldn't hurt. If anything, it might make you more at ease. And you could definitely use that right now.

-ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 23:01-

EB: jjjjjjaaaaaaaaaaaaddddddddddddddeeeeeee

EB: imn so hgappy

GG: john?

GG: is everything alright?

EB: yeah!

EB: freindsa are here with meeee!

GG: …are you wasted?

EB: courese not!

GG: john! D:

EB: just thouight id let you knlw im happy!

EB: love yioui!

-ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 23: 06-

GG: dave is NOT going to be happy with you

GG: im not happy with you!

GG: YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!

GG: GET BACK HERE JOHN EGBERT!

-ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 23:11-

GG: there you are!

EB: HoNk.

GG: what were you thinking!

EB: HoNkHoNkHoNk!

GG: what does that even mean?!

EB: ;O)

-ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 23:15-

You're pretty chill, you think. When you're not standing up, everything feels absolutely perfect. Standing is something else entirely, mainly because the world won't stop moving. You decide gravity isn't your friend tonight. Gamzee seems to understand your woes.

"My brother! Preaching to the motherfuckin' choir 'bout that bitch Mother Gravity! Can't even tell you how many times she done went all up out of her way to fuck me up."

"Right?!" you cry, your mind far past realizing this conversation makes no sense. "She's against me!"

"You're both drunk as fuck, and it's ridiculous," Karkat huffs, though he's more than a little tipsy himself as he sways on his barstool. Gamzee shoves his shoulder, and he falls in the floor with a loud thump, barely audible over the newest beat Dave is mixing.

"Isn't he the greatest?!" you cry, pointing to Dave over all the heads of people. "I fucking…I fucking LOVE him!" You're giggling at the thought while Karkat stands up to punch the shit out of Gamzee's arm for pushing him.

"When is loverboy gonna be all up and able to come on down here?"

"When he's done being awesome. So never, maybe. He'll be up there forever," you sigh.

"Actually, it's almost time for him to be done," a female voice says, and you look over to see Roxy grinning at the three of you. She's cut you all off from ordering drinks, saying you've had far more than enough. You can't even remember how much you drank.

"It is?!"

"It's super late, sweetie," she giggles. "Though I like drunk John, I don't think Mr. Strider will."

"Naaaahhhh, h-he told me to have fun!" you laugh, slapping the counter enthusiastically. "He'll be s'happy I had fun, he won't even care!"

"Let's hope so. We always let the DJ off around three am so they can have drinks on the house before we close at five. So he's got a few minutes."

You try to wrap your mind around this knowledge, but it's so amazing for some reason, you can't even begin to grasp it. You look over at Gamzee and Karkat, who are both grinning stupidly at you, and you risk getting up to wrap them in a loose hug.

"I love you guys!" you giggle.

"This little motherfucker is so drunk. I can't even believe he could handle so much fucking alcohol in his system." Gamzee's voice floats over you as he hugs you back.

"This idea…was not our best, I admit," Karkat sighs, also hugging you loosely. "We're all gonna be so goddamn miserable at work later. It's not even funny."

Suddenly, it's quiet, and the crowd is cheering again. You notice the distinct lack of music, since you've been hearing it nonstop for hours. Gamzee and Karkat are the only things holding you up, because honestly, your legs feel like jelly at this point.

"Hey, my musically gifted motherfucker!"

"Sup, juggalo. Karkitty. What brings you guys my way? Came to see the show, eh?" You hear the perfect smooth voice, and try to remember how to get your legs to work.

"We're taking care of little Egbert over here, since you left him to fend for himself in this ridiculous club scene. I swear, you idiots and your ideas of fun. They make me want to vomit all the alcohol I drank into both of your smug, idiot faces," Karkat says.

"Huh? Where's John?"

And then, you're finally able to look up at him, smiling widely as you see his perfect face. He's frowning at you, eyebrows furrowed over his shades, and he crosses his arms.

"Daaaaaave!" you exclaim, rushing over to him and falling into his arms in the process. He catches you around the middle, and helps you stand on your feet.

"Jesus, John, are you wasted?"

"Me? No, not me. Nope, nope. I'm perfectly sober," you giggle into his neck, hugging him as close as you possibly can. "I missed you!"

"I missed you- Egbert, you reek of booze. Shit, man, why the fuck did you drink so much?" He sounds more than a little angry. You hide your face, not wanting to see him mad at you.

"Wanted to have fun. Gamzee said it would help. Don't be mad at me, I'm sorry." You pull back to look at him. "You were so awesome up there, Dave! So perfect and cool and hot, I don't even know how you did it. I couldn't keep up with your hands, they were going too fast! You're so amazing! Dave, oh god, Dave!" You hug him again. "I love you!"

He freezes against you, hands gripping your arms. You can hear his breathing, and it's pretty ragged, like he was running or something. Then he pulls you closer than ever before, one hand moving up to tangle in your hair, and the other bunching in the fabric on your hip.

"Shit, John. Shit," he whispers. "What did you just say?"

"Huh? I said I love you! You didn't know that? Everyone knows that!" And then he's pulling your face towards his, and kisses your forehead while exhaling shakily, before he pulls you back towards the bar, calling Roxy over and asking her for some crackers or something to help sober you up.

"I want some pie," Gamzee announces. "Do you have pie here?"

"No," Jane says coolly.

"We need to be hunting up a place with some motherfuckin' pie!" he slaps the counter. "Do any of you righteous brothers want to be joining me in my quest?"

"Gamzee, you ignorant shit, where are we supposed to go? It's three in the morning, and the only sober one here is Strider," Karkat hisses.

"No, I've had a few," Dave says. "People always buy the DJ drinks. It'd be rude as shit not to accept."

"Great, so none of us are sober."

"Egbert's fucking gone," Dave says. "Why the fuck did you let him drink so much?"

"Don't be mad," you whine, hugging him again. He sighs, but he still looks pissed off. Gamzee merely smiles at both of you.

"There's actually an IHOP down the street," Roxy says helpfully. "They have pie, I think. Just be sure to make it back soon, cool-kid. You've gotta pack up all your gear."

"Let's go, Karbro! Be getting my motherfuckin' grub on."

"Ugh, fine, fine. You're buying me whatever I get. And you should buy Egbert's too, for fucking him up so bad."

"I second that," Dave says, helping you stand. "C'mon, babe, gotta get some food in you."

And you follow the three of them out of the club, not remembering the last time you felt so fucking happy. You hope with all your might you'll remember all of this later.

After all, you're really fucking wasted, and all you can think of are pancakes.

[Tell me what you know about dreamin' dreamin'. You don't really know about nothin' nothin'. Tell me what you know about them night terrors every night, 5 am, cold sweats, wakin' up to the sky. Tell me what you know about dreams, dreams. Tell me what you know about night terrors, nothin'. You don't really care about the trials of tomorrow. Rather lay awake in a bed full of sorrow. I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold. I'll be fine once I get it, yeah. I'll be good. I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold. I'll be fine once I get it, yeah. I'll be good.]

Sachi: I've been waiting forever to write drunk John. The night is far from over, my loves! Isn't Dave just the cutest guy ever? Ugh, and poor Jade, getting drunk messaged. It's always an adventure, and the person sending the messages always regrets the hell out of it later. Not that I would know. *cough* Review for looooovvvvveeeeee!