Surprise! Yes, I'm still here so you can put your pitchforks and fires down. I'm sorry for the super long wait but it's been a combination of finishing my last year of college forever and just other life stuff.
Also, a heads up, this will be a dark chapter and a warning has already been put in place. Take care of what you need to do (if anything) and also read my ending note if you are having any thoughts of self-harm. Now enough of me typing.
Disclaimer: I still don't own Batman in case you still didn't know.
"Now I can finish what I started and fulfil my destiny," Heretic said.
"Just try," Robin said. He then charged at him, but Heretic was ready and blocked Robin's first punch before he could react. He then continued to try and land a single hit.
Meanwhile, Talia looked up and saw Heretic fighting with her beloved and disowned son. "Everyone out! Assassins, commence the children of Gotham!" Talia ordered and shot a bullet in the air making all children freeze and look up. Then, nearly a hundred assassins appeared from smoke bombs and ushered/grabbed as many children as they could into another passageway. A majority of the children willingly ran off with them.
"Robin, I'll handle him! You focus on the children," Batman ordered.
"I am focusing on the kid!" Robin snapped and started to throw multiple punches but they were all either blocked or Heretic dove out of the way.
"I can see why Mother would want to make another child. You don't deserve to have the Al Ghul name, brother!"
"And you don't deserve to call me that!" Robin hissed back. Heretic then grabbed Robin and started to punch him hard. By the time Batman came running up to him, Heretic had thrown Robin against the hard concrete. He grunted as Batman quickly checked on him before running after Heretic with a deep glare. The two engaged in fast hand-to-hand combat with Batman blocking a majority of the punches. Batman however was more focused on using his martial arts to try and get past him to the few dozen children that were still running away.
"She was right, you really are just as skilled as the demon was," he said. All of a sudden, Robin jumped behind him trying to get a good strike, but he was then thrown off. Batman tried to use that distraction to his advantage, but Heretic quickly turned around and started punching Batman. After one powerful punch, Batman fell to his knees stunned but still attempted to stand back up. Heretic then put something on his glove and activated a button that shot electricity at Robin. The teen screamed in agony, but Heretic just continued.
"Enough!" another voice yelled. "Retreat, now!" Talia ordered.
"Not before I finish this!" Heretic stated.
"You will do as I order or you will take your last breath," Talia said aiming a gun at his head. Heretic grunted before deactivating the electrical device on his hand. By that point, Batman had regained his composure and stood up just as Batwing had flown in. He tried to launch sonic baterangs at the pair of assassins, but they were either shot down by Talia or dodged by Heretic. That's when Talia threw a smoke bomb and the two of them disappeared into thin air.
"C-Come back you cowards!" Robin yelled standing up, but his vision was blurry and his knees buckled from under him.
"Dammit!" Batman cursed catching Robin before he fell.
"Did I mention that I'm really starting to hate that trick?" Batwing commented. "What happened here?" Batman then told Batwing what him and Robin witnessed and the plan for using children to rule the world.
"That's just wrong, man. Using kids like that" he commented.
"N-nothing new," Robin said. "I don't need to be carried!"
"You can hardly stand. We're going home right now," Batman said. "Batwing, scan the area and see if you can find anything that could help us."
"D-doubtful," Robin said.
"Won't hurt to check. I'll take care of it and let you know if I find anything then I'll meet you back in the cave. Commish is on the way with a squad," Batwing said.
"No, head home after you've searched. You've done enough for tonight. We'll continue investigating tomorrow," Batman said.
"Fine," Batwing said.
Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break
Back in the cave
The car pulled up and Batman and Robin slowly got out, and headed to the med bay. "My word! What happened" Alfred asked softly.
"We failed is what happened!" Robin snapped.
"Shhhh! Master Robin," Alfred warned. He then turned his attention to the body that was resting in one of the beds. "I finally got him to sleep almost a half-hour ago, and I intend to keep him like that as long as possible. He still has not been sleeping at all even after we discussed it with him the other morning, sir."
"He hasn't?" Batman asked before walking over towards the sleeping boy and pulling down his cowl. "He's done a hell of a good job hiding that. Damian, have you seen him down in the cave in the morning?"
"No, why should I care what he does?" Robin snapped.
"Let him rest for now. Come over near the bat-computer and I will treat your wounds there," Alfred said. He gathered up his medical bag and they all went over to the front of the cave. Robin meanwhile carefully went to take off his uniform and changed into a plain black shirt and jeans. He then started to disinfect his stabs before taking a gauze from Alfred's bag.
"Did he tell you why? Is he having nightmares or something along those lines?" Bruce asked after Alfred took off his cape and cowl.
"I'm afraid I don't know, sir. He was very hesitant to tell me. All I know is that it has something to do with nightmares. I also noticed a few times that he's been talking to himself," Alfred explained. Robin suddenly froze at hearing the butler's words, but then continued on with wrapping his forearm once more.
"Huh. He's never done that before, but even if he has nightmares, he should know that he can always come to me," Bruce said.
"Master Dick has become a lot more distant lately and it's quite concerning me as it should you. I suggest we keep an eye on his sleeping habits and any more of this talking to himself," Alfred said.
"Agreed," Bruce said. That's when, the sleeping preteen started to squeeze his eyes hard and roll around with tears starting to form.
"Oh dear," Alfred said. Bruce went over to the boy while Alfred went over to a thermos that he had made earlier off to the side. Damian meanwhile finished wrapping himself up and turned his body away from the medbay.
"Come on, Dick. It's just a bad dream. Wake up," Bruce said touching the boy's shoulders. Dick's eyes then shot open and punched Bruce's arms away. He was gasping for air and looking around in confusion. "Dick, it's okay! You're in the cave! You were just having a bad dream."
"I…fell asleep?" Dick wondered.
"You did sir. You were exhausted from your lack of sleep. You must try to continue to rest. I do believe that Ms. Rita invited you to practice with her and the other Asteria members tomorrow…or later at this time," Alfred said looking at his watch. Dick shook his head no. "I understand. Here then. If you are going to stay up for the rest of the night, you'll need something to help." He gave the boy the thermos and opened the lid at the top. Instantly, Dick's nose was penetrated by the smell of chocolate and hot steam. Dick blew into the thermos before taking a drink. He continued to lean his head down to allow the steam and smell of chocolate to overtake him. As the minutes continued and he continued to drink, the boy's eyes began to drop.
"Come now sir," Alfred said patting the soft pillow. Without hesitation, Dick sat back while still holding the hot chocolate.
"What if the nightmares come back?" Dick asked.
"Then I'll wake you up from them. I swear to you," Bruce said. Dick then allowed his eyes to fully close and drifted once again to sleep.
"Sedative?" Bruce asked his old friend who nodded his head.
"I should have given it to him the first time, but I thought the banana I gave him would do the trick at least for a little bit," Alfred said, gently taking the less than half-empty thermos of hot chocolate away.
"I'll take him to bed. Damian, why don't you…" Bruce said and turned to face his eldest. Damian however was now dressed back into his casual clothes and was walking up the steps to head back to the manor without saying a word.
Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break
The Next Day
Haly's Circus
Dick had been quickly dropped off at the front of the tent by Bruce before he drove off after a quick wave at Rita and Zelina who was waiting for him. "Hey there Dick! How are you doing?" Rita asked.
"Fine," he responded.
"Just fine?" Zelina asked.
"Yeah," he said.
"Well, you're gonna be more than just fine today. Did you bring an extra set of clothes?" Zelina asked.
"Right here," Dick said motioning to his bag.
"Perfect. Let's head to the trailer so we can quickly get dressed and grab Zane so we can begin," Zelina said. The trio then walked to the trailer where Zane was finishing up eating an omelet.
"Hey there, Dick. I see you've got a bag this time. Spare clothes?" he asked and Dick nodded.
"Nice. A good work out with just the ladies," he commented.
"Not just him. You're gonna join us as well," Zelina said.
"Actually, Matias and I were thinking of…"
"ZANE, is going to join us," Zelina warned looking at her brother straight in the eye.
"Ok, fine! But I'm still going on that jog with Matias," he said putting his dishes in the sink.
"Thank you!" Zelina said as she started walking away. "Rita, I'll get everything set up. Come find us after Dick changes."
"Wait…why am I letting my little sister tell me what to do?" Zane asked chasing after her.
"Because you know that I could kick your…" the door was slammed shut before they finished.
"Those two. Alright. You can change first while I find my workout gear which is somewhere around here," Rita said. Dick nodded and went into the small bathroom to change into his workout gear which consisted of black stretch pants and a white and baby blue Under Armor tank top.
"Ha!" he heard Rita say from outside. Then he went outside to see her pulling out dark grey capris and a royal blue t-shirt with the name 'Asteria' spelled out in gold lettering. "That was quick. Alright, let me quickly get changed and then we can be on our way. Did you eat yet?"
"Alfred, our butler, won't let me leave the house until I do," Dick explained.
"Good. Can't warm up or practice with an empty or too full stomach. I'll be right back," she said and went into the bathroom to change. When she came back out, she was putting her hair up in a simple ponytail. "Ready? Let's do this! Though I will warn you right now since Zelina is picking out the music as we speak, the warm up routine may be a little fast as she has a particular one that she loves to do, so just do what you can."
"Oh…okay," he said. Rita and Dick then walked to the area behind the tent where the outdoor trapeze and gymnastics equipment was. There they saw Zane and Zelina arguing with each other.
"Listen, I told you that I would do this warm up with you, but I also am still going for a run later. I don't want to use all my energy on a warm-up. So can we please not do that one?" Zane begged.
"This is going to be our fourth show and word has already spread how awesome we are. We have to make it even magical for anyone who decided to come see the show again," Zelina said.
"And I'm all about that, but don't you think you're putting too much pressure on us; mainly you?" Zane asked.
"Absolutely not!" Zelina said.
"Babe, I love you, but you're not winning this fight," Rita said. "I've tried many times before," Rita said.
"See love, there's a secret trick involved in this that I've had more than two decades to master. Allow me to demonstrate," Zane said and cleared his throat. "Zelina, you are one of the most talented acrobats not just in Asteria, but most likely the whole world."
"You flatter me," Zelina said, and then pushed a button on her phone which activated the music. Zane suddenly looked defeated.
"Nice try," Rita said coming over and kissing her husband on his cheek.
"Alright, alright," Zane said. "Please give me strength today," he muttered.
"Let's do this Dick. Try to keep up," Zelina said setting her phone down so everyone could see. The music increased and everyone raised their arms up in a big motion before bringing them back down again in time to the beat four times. After that, the group moved their wrists around while moving one foot up to a point for two counts before moving onto the next foot. This continued for a few moments before they stretched out their arms and cracked their knuckles and then moved their hands the other way. As the singer started to sing, everyone raised their arms to the sky again and moved from side to side stretching out their arms and hips.
"Are you able to do a back handspring?" Rita asked.
"Yeah," Dick said.
"Ok, do it…" she continued. The group bent down with their arms extended behind them. "Now!" The entire group then did a back flip and then landing on their hands in a handstand position. Afterwards, they brought their legs down and dramatically bringing their arms down. The group stretched their arms one more time before doing another back handspring flip.
"Yeah, boy. I'm feeling it now!" Zane said.
"Told ya," Zelina said. The group then spent several moments working on raising both their legs starting with raising it slightly above the group to all the way up. They then moved on to pushing one foot back along with their hands before doing eight squats. Afterwards, they did the same thing with the other foot.
"Here we go!" Rita said. Everyone then lifted their right foot up and started using their core to sweep the air with it before doing the left. After that, the group went down to a low lunge and held it for several moments before twisting and holding one arm up. After eight counts, they came back to an ordinary low lunge before lifting their back leg up and grabbing it. When the music had a key change, everyone went into a split and did the same thing they just did by brining their back leg up. Then carefully still in their splits, bent down in front of them and held it for a few moments. Suddenly, the tempo picked up, and they moved their arms across the empty space in front of them. One arm went on the ground and helped them lift their body weight up till they looked like a triangle that was bent back. Just as the music was ending, the group got into a yoga child's pose to rest.
"Woo!" Zelina said.
"Yup. Totally feeling it now," Zane said.
"What'd you think?" Zelina asked Dick.
"That was…fun," he said.
"Yes! Good boy!" Zelina laughed. "Now you're ready for the fun part," she said motioning towards the trapeze. All of a sudden, a faint scream in Dick's mind was heard. He knew what would happen.
"I…I can't," he said.
"Why not?" Rita asked.
"I just…" That's when Dick pictured whoever's voice in his head giving him a stern look.
"Don't you dare,"it said.
"Please don't make me," he pleaded.
"Come on, Dick. What's going through your mind that's making you not want anything to do with acrobatics? Your family is practically circus royalty," Rita asked.
"Let's see. You're worthless. You're weak. And just think of all the pressure you're under to keep up the Flying Grayson name. One screw up which you are going to do and they'll think less of you; not that you deserve anything more."
"I'll…I'll screw up," Dick said.
"So what? That's why it's called 'practice'. If you screw up, we'll help you. That's what family is for," Zane stated. Dick bit his lip.
"Come on. Just try it," Rita urged. Zelina meanwhile went to stand in front of the bar and clasped her hands together.
"Do I really have to?" Dick asked.
"No, but the show has to continue with or without you," Zelina said. Dick closed his eyes and took a shaky breath.
"O-okay," Dick stuttered.
"We'll be with you every step of the way," Rita said.
"First, show us what you can do," Zelina said bracing herself.
"No! Don't!"
Dick took another breath before running towards Zelina who boasted him up on the uneven bar. Dick did a few flips and tried to launch himself up and turn the other way, but he missed the bar and landed on his back hard on the mat.
"Whoops. You alright?" Rita asked coming over. She offered her hand out, but Dick just sat up on his own and leaned his head on his knees.
"How did I miss that? I always got that trick," Dick said.
"See? I told you you would fail! Now just wait. They're gonna start criticizing you and think less of you. This is what happens when you don't listen to me." The voice answered.
"I think that's one of the harder tricks to pull off. I remember Z having trouble with that the first time she tried it," Zane stated.
"Yeah, I admit it. What helped is making sure that you get enough air when you dismount off the bar. It's different on the bar than it is on the trapeze since your legs have to be perfectly straight the entire time and you can't get that extra push of power. If you need to do a quick spin while your upside down first, then that's okay. It'll look just as good while we can work on it. Want to try again?" Zelina asked.
"No," Dick muttered and then got off the mat.
"That's okay. Good for you for trying it even though you were nervous," Rita said. "Zelina, you're up next."
Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break
The same thing had happened during the fourth show that always happened. Dick would hang out with Asteria and the other members of the circus and helping them out with whatever they needed. He then would help with sit at the trailer by himself while the show was starting or Jack had offered for him to help with selling souvenirs at one of the booths outside the tent. The show would happen, the audience would leave, and then Bruce would come and take him home. This time however, Alfred was the one who brought him home as he explained that Bruce and Damian had gotten caught up in something. But the butler assured him that they would be present for dinner. When they got there, three plates were set up with food, but no one was there.
"They must still be downstairs. I'll go and fetch them. Feel free to start eating sir," Alfred said and left Dick alone.
'I guess this is what it's become. They're too busy with other stuff and I'm left alone again,' Dick thought to himself.
*WARNING*
(Talk of suicide ahead. Viewer discretion advised.)
"I know how to make it all end."
"How?" Dick asked.
"Just let go. There's nothing for you here. You may trust Haly and Asteria, but what happens when their Gotham tour ends in a week and a half? You'll be left alone again with the Waynes'." Dick felt his heart sink. "You'll go back to always being compared to Damian and unworthy of being loved."
"I'll…I'll run away then!"
"And then Wayne will bring you right back. Don't you see that he wants you to be miserable? Why does everyone else get to be happy except you? If you just let go and fly, then all this pain and loneliness will go away. You'll be with your parents again; the only people who loved you unconditionally. Trust me," the voice continued.
Just then, Bruce and Damian came and sat down at the table.
"Hi, Dick. How was your day today?" Bruce asked.
"It was okay," Dick answered not even making eye-contact.
"That's good. Damian and I have been swamped here. Plus, I had to attend an emergency board meeting and this is the first time that I've had a chance to sit down," Bruce said to Dick who was playing around with his fork. Damian noticed this, and narrowed his eyes. "Oh! I forgot to ask. Did you sleep better last night?"
"A little," Dick said still not looking up.
"That's a start. I'm not going to be able to help you train for the next few days, but I was thinking that maybe after the circus leaves, I can schedule some time to work on your combat with you," Bruce continued.
"Sure," Dick said unamused. "I…I think I lost my appetite."
"Really? Did you have a late lunch or early dinner?" Bruce asked.
"Yeah. I-I think I'm gonna go catch up on some homework," Dick stuttered standing up.
"Are you sure? Is there something going on that I need to know?" Bruce asked and Damian continued to glare at his brother.
"No, I'm good. Everything's fine," Dick said noticing Damian's look.
'Get out before they get suspicious!'
Dick then ran off before the tears he was hiding spilled over ignoring the calls from Bruce. He ran up to his room and slammed the door shut before locking it and broke down crying.
"I…" Dick stuttered before sloppy tears started to roll down his cheek. "I can't do this anymore."
"Do it! All it takes is one flight and it will all be over," it insisted. Dick's gaze then slowly shifted to the window sill.
'Just one flight.'
Dick then went over to the window sill and stared off into the night. He stayed there for almost two hours while the voice continued to scream at him.
'What are you waiting for? There's nothing here for you! Do it before Wayne and Damian get suspicious and try to stop you. Remember, they want you to be miserable.'
Dick then nodded and climbed up on the sill and just laid there staring off into space outside again.
Fifteen minutes had gone by before he unlatched the clasp to the window and let the cool air embrace him. The cold actually felt…comforting. He continued to stare into space and started to climb up on the window sill secretly hoping that someone would see him and that it wasn't true that no one cared about him; but nobody came. He truly was all alone. Then his mind began to wonder. What would it be like to fall? He had always been a flyer or if he did fall, people had always caught him. What would happen if he just gave in this one time?
'Everything would be better, right?'
Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break
Meanwhile, Damian had come up from training unable still to shake the strange feeling in his gut. He started to open his bedroom door when he stopped to take a quick glance at his adopted brother's room right across from his own. He knew what his gut was trying to say, but he couldn't bring himself to speak on it. He swore that he and Grayson were now brothers only in name. Nothing else or any sort of commitments were required. Yet why was he having a hard time ignoring his instinct this time? With that, he opened his bedroom door and closed it after glancing at the closed door across from him one more time. He went over to his dresser and pulled out a candle and lighter. The teenager then lit the candle before turning off his lights and sat at the front of his bed attempting to meditate.
'Clear your mind of all worries that you have. Let go of everything having to do with Grayson, Father, Mother, and Heretic. Just focus on your breathing.' He thought to himself. Damian used all of his energy to focus on his breathing and slip into a meditative state, but that ache in his gut would not go away.
"UGH!" he sighed. "Brothers only in name. Brothers only in name!" he chanted, but it only made his feeling worse. He took a big, frustrated breath before getting up and walked to the entrance of his brother's room. Hesitantly, he grasped the doorknob and carefully turned it, but the knob was abruptly halted.
Locked
'Wait, locked?!'
Damian tried again more but with a little more forced and got the same results. The door was locked from the other side.
"G-Grayson? It's me. Open up," Damian called while knocking. No answer was heard.
"Grayson, come out here. We have to talk about something," he prompted. Again, he was met with silence. All of a sudden, that gut feeling increased to a point where he felt like there was a large hole in his stomach.
"Grayson?! Open this door!" he ordered and nearly pounding. At last, he got a response, but it was a soft whimper.
"Grayson!" Damian screamed. Suddenly, he sprinted back into his room over to his nightstand and yanked out his top drawer completely. He threw the contents onto his bed and quickly scanned it with his heart now racing and found the gold key that he was looking for. After grabbing his sword and some throwing stars, he raced back over to Dick's room and unlocked the door before using his entire body to help him open the door.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" he shrieked as he saw his brother standing out his window almost off the edge. Dick turned around in fear, and then started to climb further out the window. Damian quickly grabbed one of his throwing stars and threw it at Dick's hand which ended up grazing his right hand.
"Ow!" Dick yelled as he grabbed his hand which had started to bleed. This distraction gave Damian enough time to run over and violently yank the boy away from the window.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?!" Damian screamed at the top of his lungs. Dick tried to go around Damian using his acrobatics, but the two boys just locked hands and started to wrestle with each other. Damian managed to bring Dick down to the floor, and Dick all of a sudden tried to grab Damian's sword. "No!" Damian screamed. The two fought for the upper hand on the sword until Damian kicked Dick in the gut which loosened the boy's grip enough for Damian to pull it away completely. The teen then without hesitating threw his sword across the room.
"NO!" Dick yelled and attempted to go after it. Damian attempted to dive on top of him, but Dick dodged at the last minute and Damian feel on the floor leaving Dick wide-open to climb out the window again.
"FATHER! PENNYWORTH!" Damian screamed jumping back up. Just as Dick was on the edge, Damian yanked him back in and brought him to the floor in a choke-hold. He crossed his legs across the acrobat's body limiting his movement and used his forearm across his neck. Damian squeezed as tight as he could and not paying any attention to the gasps he heard or Dick's effort to pull his arm off his neck. He just kept squeezing tighter.
Dick's movements and resistance started to fade, but Damian still held on. Not even the sound of someone screaming out his name. Someone came over screaming at him and even tried to get him to release his grip by force; but he refused to release his hold for anything. That would mean that Dick would have another chance to get away and attempt…that again.
"Damian, you're killing him! You're killing your brother!"
"What?" Damian muttered. He blinked several times to clear his vision and then saw what he was doing. He was chocking his own brother! He quickly released Dick who was now unconscious but still reaching for the open window. Bruce immediately turned Dick on his back and felt for a pulse.
Nothing was there.
"No! Dick, no!" Bruce said and immediately started performing CPR. Alfred then came in carrying a shotgun of his own, but froze when he saw Bruce preforming CPR.
"Good God," Alfred whimpered and came over to help with the chest compressions while Bruce could focus on the rescue breaths. Damian meanwhile had not moved since he had released his grip on his brother. He just stared off into space as the previous five minutes started to replay in his head.
"I…" Damian said looking at his hands that had some blood on them most likely from the boy's sliced up hand. "He tried to kill himself!" he finally yelled. With that, Damian ran out of the room.
"Damian, wait!" Bruce called.
"Sir! We've got his pulse back!" Alfred said.
"Get the car and call Leslie!" Bruce ordered. "Damian!" he called again, but his oldest was already halfway down to the cave. Without changing, he ran to his bike and left while beginning to hyperventilate.
And done! I know this was a serious and deep chapter and I hope everyone is alright. The video that Asteria and Dick were watching is right here if you want to check it out. I think it's a fun little workout to do but I personally can't do any splits like they do: Warm Up Video 2015-2016 Circus Season - YouTube
I also want to remind everyone that if you are having any kind of thoughts about suicide or self-harm, please don't hesitate to reach out to someone. I can promise you that the world would not be better off without you. Even if you just need to talk to someone about something that is going on, call 988 if you live in the U.S. That is the National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline that is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week via chat or call. It is confidential and also free of charge. Or even if you're like Damian who witnessed something traumatic like that, please don't hesitate to reach out and get it off your chest. I unfortunately can't list every single country's suicide hotline, but I'm sure you can find one online, or just talk to someone you trust and seek out help. Heck, you can also message me on here and I'll listen. Just promise me that you'll take care of yourself.
Again, really sorry about the long wait.
Thanks all and I appreciate your support.
LaurenHardy13