Thanks everyone for reading, more to follow soon.

Enjoy,

Winter

Your heart, I'll carry it with me …

Bella Swan moves to Forks where she meets Edward Cullen. But this is not your typical Bella and this is not the story you know.

Twilight fanfiction; I own nothing.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Thank god Saturday was the day that followed. I don't believe I would dare to show my face around the school only 24 hours after that meltdown. I was like the hottest new restaurant in town; everyone wanted to a table. Soon, something else would surely relieve me of the attention and I would be struggling to make ends meet again.

Forks is such a close knit community; I should be honoured to be able to take part in it. Charlie was barely controlling laughter after he got home and I wonder how he found out. I wanted to Google myself to see if I was new viral star but sadly, the battery of my laptop died and as usual I had no idea where the recharger was.

On Monday morning I put on the darkest clothes I could find and I prayed the sun would have a bad day and stayed hidden. My meagre height might be lethal at basketball but as far as hiding in the crowd was concerned, I could come handy.

Of course, if I wasn't such an attention virgin, I would know I should bring earplugs with me so that I would not hear everyone talking about me. And I would make myself blind so that would not see them. Disguise might have been perfect but senses were still out in the open.

Lunch answered all my questions. If I searched for my newest position in school hierarchy on the internet, I would get page not found. I was non-existing – if I don't count the gossip. The table where I used to sit was full. Mike's eyes didn't search for me like they had done before. I was out of the elite club and I was back to eating in the bathroom. Ah, to hell with food it is overrated anyway. There are always smaller jeans in the shop.

I decided to spend the break in the Geography classroom. Maps are certainly very knowledgeable and interesting companions; they can show things to a girl that boys will never master.

On my way I relieved my wallet of the heavy coins and bought myself lemonade. My arm muscles got a bit of a warm up before the gym class since the vending drinks machine wasn't giving up without a fight. Apparently it too was Mike's fan.

Mike was being such a cry baby. I was surprised he didn't drag his mother to school to tell me off. Maybe I had hurt his feelings but turning everyone against me was a bit harsh and unnecessary. Looks like someone hates losing.

As I entered the classroom I went to my old desk and sat down next to Edward's chair. It was weird; whatever he did I just came back to him and it happened again and again and again. Either I was totally being a stupid girl and falling for a bad guy or … well, I couldn't think of any other explanation. I guess I could ask someone else to switch seats with me but … the way it ended the last time I kind of preferred not to.

I was slowly sipping the lemonade and stared into clock. I like being alone, actually. It makes life so much simpler! You don't have to explain yourself; highway is free for you to do whatever you want! If you want to stay up all night, you do it; if you feel like drinking yourself to sleep, you just crack the bottle; if you feel like wearing a very bright red lipstick that is supposedly not matching your skin tone, you can just draw hearts on your cheeks! There are no more compromises, no more suppressing yourself for the sake of others. You can just get crazy and L-I-V-E! Even if you cannot afford the rent on your own, you gotta keep on moving, coz life is like that – if a door closes, you have to open the window otherwise it gets to stuffy in the room.

I don't know what Edward's philosophy on life is but I guess he is not as attached to solitude as me. I almost choked when I saw him entering the classroom.

"Careful," he grinned as he slid into the chair beside mine. I had always been kind of clumsy but since I arrived in Forks, my accident rate had gone through the roof.

"How was Alaska?" I asked and pushed the bottle away from me. The last time I checked I wasn't suicidal while only talking.

Apparently it was cold there since his brain was frozen and unable to comprehend my question.

"Alice told me you went to see relatives," I explained and wondered how the extreme heat in Phoenix would impact his mental processes.

I successfully infected him with tendency to be self-destructive. He almost fell off his chair when I mentioned his sister.

"You spoke to Alice? Well, she certainly didn't mention that …"

"Yeah, she and Jasper drove me home on Friday … I guess you do know why?"

"I am not living under a rock, Bella. Everyone's talking about it."

"Yeah … even Charlie knew about the great break up and he wasn't even here."

"Was that what it was? A break up?" a mysterious spark appeared in his eyes. It was bright and piercing and I was once again staring into him for far too long.

"No … I don't think they have invented the proper word yet … you know how in Bridget Jones Cleaver and Darcy were fighting for her? Well, this was something like, only that Tyler and Mike began throwing punches around before even knowing what they were actually fighting for … it's kind of hard to explain. I never thought not dating three guys was more difficult than dating just one."

He leant closer to me and his magnificent smell invaded my body. I grabbed the bottle swiftly and took a sip, trying to get my mind off him. I really wished it was alcohol. Then I would have an excuse for feeling so drowsy.

"Three?"

"You wish there were just two?"

"Yes," he sighed with determination in his voice but his eyes were sad. It looked like I wasn't the only one trying to follow my mind while my heart was screaming something totally different.

"The thing with Maths … why did you trick me into helping you? You wanted me to hate you or something?"

"I did so at first but now … I don't really know which ending I would prefer … Bella ... it would be easier and safer for you if you hated me …"

As if I ever listened to other people. I was always happy to ignore my mother; there was no way in hell I would listen to Edward, no matter how tempting he was.

"If you are so concerned about my well-being, then why are you here?"

The bubble of honesty we were temporarily trapped in popped as others students walked in. I wasn't facing the door but from Edward's face it was obvious Mike was among them. What happened to the harmony and peace that surrounded us? Smug crept into Edward's eyes and if I had any brain, I would get up, run to the airport and board the first flight back to Phoenix. Just as I was done with Tyler and Mike, a new predator took their place.

"I wish I knew …" he finally whispered.

Whatever it was, it just felt good. Without any fanfares and confetti, it emerged out of nothing and took over, so selfishly, without me electing it. I finally felt like I was home again. The constant rain and chill moved aside and made place for heat I knew in Phoenix. It awoken a new kind of happiness, one I hadn't dared to feel in a long time.

Of course, it was only my mind trying to rationalize what had been evident to my heart for a while now.

To Be Continued.

Broughttoyouby:::winter.