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Much love, w.
Your heart, I'll carry it with me …
Bella Swan moves to Forks where she meets Edward Cullen. But this is not your typical Bella and this is not the story you know.
Twilight fanfiction; I own nothing.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
I could probably pour the coughing medicine into my veins but it would not help. The more I wanted to confront Edward with my suspicion, the crazier I felt. How do you walk up to someone and ask them if they are a vampire? If I filmed it and uploaded it online, it surely would be a hit – unless I got sent to psycho ward first, of course.
The funny thing was, as I watched Edward not only that I felt like a crazy stalker; I realized that his indeed fit the profile. Appearance-speaking, at least, I had no idea what he did in his past time. I had heard the Cullens were living in woods – did they have a castle? Like Dracula kind of castle where they lured people and drank their blood at midnight? I don't really know if their diet requires daily input of calories but I doubted the average amount of blood in one person's body would satisfy the whole family – Emmett surely looked like he could use a double portion.
If they indeed needed people's blood, they must be picking transients. I am the sheriff's daughter and I hadn't heard of any missing Forks residents. Then again, I have always said saying it is not really that hard to be a serial killer nowadays, despite AFIS and DNA databases. You just gotta pick the right victims, that's all; the ones that would not be missed.
I could not believe I found myself thinking of hookers and truck drivers in the middle of lunch. The food in school cafeteria isn't worth Michelin stars so any gruesome images in my head ain't helping the appetite.
It makes you think. We live in technological era and we feel like we know everything about our classmate just because we are their friend on Facebook. In reality … all we know is a social mask we all put on in order to get likes. Once the computer turns off … some of us turn into crazy cat-lacking ladies that fantasize about their crush being a vampire.
As I went to return my tray, he sneaked upon me. As he whispered his name in my ear in that smooth, seducing voice that made my wanna pull his face closer and kiss it till the end of days, I flinched. Thank god I wasn't having pasta with tomato sauce; the whole cafeteria would probably look like a messy blood scene. No pun intended.
"Did I scare you?" he said and his eyes immediately became careful. I guess he didn't want me to crack my head and bleed to death before he could dig his fangs into my neck.
"No, no, I just didn't hear you coming," I tried to smile but the thought of me slowly roasting above the camp fire was sending creeps down my spine. Completely unnecessary, of course, since the vampires are only interested in blood.
"Well … you can sit with me at lunch, you know. My family won't mind," he grinned. Did they want to see, smell me up close, to figure out which spices would match perfectly and bring out the full taste of my flesh? If I had an aneurysm, this would be the perfect time for it to burst.
I shook my head to get the blood flowing through my brain and make it functional again.
"Is that a no?" he asked.
"No … I mean ..." Maybe my body was subconsciously trying to send a message? I don't want to be eaten alive. I don't want to be eaten alive. I wanna live. "Maybe, some other time …"
"Tomorrow?"
I thought of my bucket list. Cuddle a panda, go to New Zealand, get married at Tirohana, buy a carpet in Morocco, see aurora, swim with dolphins, spend a fortune at Monaco casino. How many of these things can I do in 24 hours?
"Maybe," I mumbled.
"Bella, are you ok? You seem a bit weird today."
"Oh, yeah, I just slept terribly," I shrugged. I don't think poisoning from bubble baths is actually a renowned illness. Of course, as a girl I always have completely satisfactory excuse but for my state of mind it was a bit too … well, bloody.
"I can relate," he smiled. His smile was so warm, so pleasant and I felt guilty for thinking he was out to kill me. Why can't I be like any other girl and just drown myself in worshipping him? Why do I have to keep on searching for reasons not to like him?
"Well, see you at Geography, ok?" I quickly said, grabbed my bag and ran out of the cafeteria. As I passed the fire alarm, I thought of pushing the button. Sprinklers would turn on, fire department would come and surely school would be cancelled for the day. And I wouldn't have to face Edward again, at least for today.
I wished I wasn't such a coward.
When the bell announcing the start of Geography rang, I was sitting next to Edward. I took a sudden interest in the map of Africa, although I was sitting too far away to actually be able to read anything on it. But the colors looked pretty. And any distraction was welcomed.
His eyes were glued on me and I don't think it was because of the bruise on my chin. I also doubt it was my new perfume that caught his intention, although I had used it in desperate attempt to get Edward's mind off my blood. Yep, I was officially crazy.
"Are you sure you're ok, Bella?" he asked once again and I felt the embarrassing shade of red flooding all over my face. "Have I done something? You seem to be looking at me kind of funnily today."
"Oh, yeah, it's just allergy irritating my eyes …"
Now he was the one looking at me funny.
"I don't think anything has started to bloom yet," he said and I could tell from his voice that he knew that I know. Not that I am completely sure of what I know but he knew something was in the air. And I don't mean allergens.
Who was I kidding? Yeah, Edward could be a complete jerk at times but who wasn't every once in a while? Not long ago, I myself was a bitch; so indecisive, so lost and confused. I didn't know what came over me – as if wires connecting my brain and my mouth weren't properly attached and were unable me from saying what I actually thought – one big fat no to all the suitors around me. Looking back it felt like a veil was pressing my brain membrane and allowing only stupidity to come out.
Despite his occasional outbursts, Edward was still remarkably perfect. Surely, the school could be his Facebook and maybe he really was involved in weird blood orgies as the night time came but … we all have quirks we want to take to our graves, don't we?
Just because we're not learning about them in school it does not mean the vampire don't exist. People once believed the sun was circling around the Earth and now we laugh at it. At the same time inquisitions were burning the witches – women who did not fit the strict code of what every woman should have been. No matter which century, every idea that does not match with what the majority thinks, is labelled as insanity but who has ever proven that the majority is always right? Crowds are wrong, so many times; afraid of being called a moron we start believing and obeying what the strongest of us says. Only a few dare to object and they indeed are treated as morons.
There is no law that could prevent us from thinking freely and there's no proof that the vampires don't exist. I wonder what people's reaction would be like if they found out about their existence – I bet armies of the world would be send to destroy the creatures. People would be in blind panic, afraid for their lives. Surely vampires, if they have any intelligence would not tweet about being what they are – no one wants to get killed after all.
If it is not on news or in our textbooks, it does not mean it's not there.
So why would vampires not exist?
And why would Edward not be one?
If the legends say vampires kill and drink blood, what makes it a fact that they really do that? There are many so called truths that are actually lies. Why would not this be one? Maybe they just have many food allergies. If in a human society there are individuals that kill, why wouldn't there be vampires that don't kill? Edward, as far as I knew him, was more of a gentleman that any of the guys I had the misfortune to date. Why would I think the worst, if I don't have any proof whatsoever that it's the truth? Why do I keep seeing the glass as half empty if it could be half full? Why don't I for a change see the world in a bright light, let happiness and optimism to prevail and believe?
I'll believe. I won't let myself get caught in prejudice; I'll make my own judgements and I'll decide how to see things. I am done watching the life go by me with someone else's eyes. I've got a pair of my own and it works just perfectly; I cannot be free if I keep believing what others say and I cannot be free if I live in fear.
I'll let go. I'll free myself. I won't care. I'll dismiss the outside and care about what's in. Just because we are bound to die, it does not mean life is not beautiful.
So I asked him. Very discreetly of course since too much optimism can hurt; you can't really expect to survive a free fall from a plane or that the sharks won't be interested in you if you swim among them unprotected.
"Actually …" I finally turned to him and I realized I wasn't lying about something irritating my eyes. His beauty was definitely making my eyes water since I didn't want to blink, scared of missing a single moment of this perfecting next to me. "It's funny, really … I had this dream last night … and you were … a vampire."
Well, I said it. I did try to, you know, say it with a funny tone, lightly but his face … its angelic features faded and turned into rage. In a second his eyes became black again and I felt the creeps going down my spine, urging me to run away. I struggled to sit still now that was sure of it. I kept telling myself that he would not hurt me but I was still scared.
Without asking for permission he got up, grabbed his books and left the classroom. The professor stopped talking and looked around the class.
"Anyone knows what bothers Mr Cullen today?" he asked.
I stared through the window. I pretended not to hear. I dismissed everyone looking at me.
I knew. I knew what bothered him and I knew what he was.
Edward Cullen, the boy I was so indiscreetly falling in love with, was a vampire.
To Be Continued.
Broughttoyouby:::winter.
