Really fat chapter this time, I hope you like it! :)

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Your heart, I'll carry it with me …

Bella Swan moves to Forks where she meets Edward Cullen. But this is not your typical Bella and this is not the story you know.

Twilight fanfiction; I own nothing.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

I called a cab; I was superly overreacting since I don't think Edward or any of his siblings would dare to attack me in daylight but you can never really be too sure.

After returning home the fridge expedition found some garlic. I don't know which subspecies of vampires the Cullens are but at least you can't blame me for trying. After sitting on the counter, staring at this wannabe nuclear weapon in front of me, I just felt so silly that Charlie got a garlic soup for dinner. Just because I knew his secret, Edward didn't have to kill me; ain't like I was about to tell anyone. The odds of me attending normal high school after that were not in my favour.

I really tried to act normal but when you know there's someone who most likely wishes you were dead fear kind of takes over you mind. And since Charlie's a sheriff, it didn't take him long to notice.

"Ok, Bella, you don't care about what?" he finally said. I guess it tells a lot about our non-existing dinner conversations; since we're usually quiet it startled me.

"What?" I mumbled and tried really hard to maintain the control of the spoon in my hand.

"You've been repeating the phrase 'I don't care' for the whole evening. You don't care about what?" he said in a voice that indicated he thought I was a dummy.

Well, I had been trying to convince myself that I didn't care of Edward was a vampire – at least until he knocked on door and sucked the blood out of me – but I had no idea I was doing it out loud.

"Oh … oh …" How do you tell a parent that they failed at their basic mission, that is protect their kid from danger? Despite having 17 candles on my latest birthday cake, I was still an immature child, always running towards the danger. And I'm not talking about drugs and bad boys. The idea of having a cop for a father should comfort me. No one would dare to hurt me, knowing there were legal guns in the house. But I don't think one bullet could stop a vampire. Maybe if it was filled with garlic instead of gun powder but I don't think they make those.

"Mom called… earlier. She and Phil are repainting the house … in green … and I don't like green." I used to love it but since in came to Forks where EVERYTHING (vampires are the notable exceptions) is green, I find myself preferring yellow. Or black. Or anything else. "But then again, I'm not living there anymore and if green makes her happy …"

"Aha," he still stared at me and it looked like he forgot about the soup, sadly not because I would be a bad cook. "I always thought Renee loved yellow."

Oh she did; it was just me who was a terrible liar. I just shrugged and luckily, either my lying skills improved in this town of weather extremes or Charlie just didn't care, he started eating again. Not that I would want to make his obese or anything but talking was the last thing I wanted tonight.

"Either way, Bella, I'm going out tonight. Billy Black invited me to watch the game over at his place."

Thank god he keeps a spare gun in his night stand. I checked, just in case. Though given my nature, I would likely end up shooting myself.

Charlie was gone for less than five minutes when he came.

I was in the middle of doing the dishes and once again my hands were covered with bubbles. The distress I was in sent a tsunami all over the kitchen floor and my evening was just the perfect way to go.

I didn't hear him come in. I would probably continue to pathetically stand there till field of Forks would be poisoned with detergent. And the nurse at the last medical check-up said my hearing was good!

I turned around to grab the cloth I had so conveniently left on the counter when I saw Edward standing at the door. He was staring at me with his hands in his pockets and blank eyes.

I screamed. Whether it was because I realized the doorbell wasn't working or that my apocalypse had arrived, I don't know. I staggered back though I was already so close to the sink. A part of me wanted to be sucked into the drain and disappear into the sewers, dying of methane overdose instead of the two holes in my neck.

I felt my shirt getting soaked in water and if those bubbles really were magical, Edward would turn into Charlie and I was simply paranoid.

"I'm sorry I scared you …" he said in that voice and the words were once again spoken in this weird tone, with this weird, out-of-the century accent. It never really occurred to me before – just how old was this guy? Did he fight in WW2? In civil war? Was he a Yankee or did he fight for the south?

I could not believe I was thinking about Edward's age when I should be concerned about getting to the knives. That one step to the right might have looked easy but under stress I sometimes have trouble separating right from left.

Jesus. I always fall off the bleachers; I didn't seriously think I could kill a vampire? I don't think they can even be killed!

Besides, hadn't I decided that I did not care if he was this supernatural creature? I had made a promise to myself not to be scared yet now I was that deer in the headlights.

I cleared my throat.

"No … no!" I tried to laugh but it was as fake as those Gucci bags for ten bucks. "I just didn't hear you come in … how did you know I keep the spare key in the bird house? I thought that was pretty ingenious."

"I don't need a key."

"Then … how did you get in?"

He didn't break down the door, I was quite sure of that. I wasn't so hearingly challenged.

"I think you know." He stepped closer to me and instinctively leant back. It was unintentionally; like feeling your stomach turn upside down when you see someone eating a bug. I'm not Bear Grylls no matter how much I enjoy watching him.

"You are afraid of me," he said and sounded … sad. I felt compassion for a vampire. Was as free-minded as it gets.

"No! I'm not ... it's just ... I am not really used to talking to a vampire … I don't think we had any in Phoenix and I'm not really a people person … so it's just me and … me …"

I realized my shirt was wet and since I am prone to getting a cold I really felt like I was too much of a daredevil for one day.

"If you walk through the door … will you please stay here if I run to the bathroom real quick?"

He nodded woefully and all I wanted to do was to take his face in my hands and console him although I didn't know if this was mine fault. Since we were after all in my house it surely felt so.

Surprisingly I didn't trip while running upstairs. I guess I was more in control than I thought. I closed the door and leant on it. It was such a déjà vu moment; last time I made such a big fuss of a boy in my house and hid in the bathroom, it ended up in my becoming a woman. I liked to think I matured emotionally since then but I was still acting disastrously. Especially when I started opening all the cabinets to see if there was anything useful in them, like a razor blade. Next time I watch a movie, not necessarily a movie about vampires, I should really pay attention to more than just the hot actor.

I splashed cold water in my face and since I didn't get the heat stroke I had to get down in the kitchen again. Edward was now sitting down, facing me. I sat down too, and as silence lay between us my fear faded.

"So you're a vampire, huh?" I said.

"Yes, I am, Bella. But please, don't be afraid of me," he quickly added.

"I am not afraid of you." My feminist heart cried as I said those words. I was so smitten I didn't even care if he could potentially kill me! I guess that's just called having faith.

"You should be."

"Yeah … and I can have an aneurysm and it can burst tomorrow. Or some crazy dude can walk into our school and starts shooting ... or a plane can crash onto me …"

"What are you saying?"

"I can die every day."

"I'd rather kill myself than hurt you, Bella … Besides, I, my family, we don't kill humans. We feed with the blood of animals. We consider ourselves to be vegetarians."

Renee had a point about me being a danger to any potential pet.

"Is it enough for you?"

"I didn't think we'd be discussing my diet so early on," he smirked.

"Then what did you think we'd talk about?"

"Me trying to convince you I don't want to hurt you … you threatening to call the police … asking if we are not just fictional …"

"Since we both know you aren't, don't you think it is a waste of time?"

"Since you're asking ... it is difficult but it's our decision. We don't want to be monsters. Of course, it is harder to resist around some people …"

"You can just say it – me."

"You, Bella … you are like no one I had ever met before."

"I wish I knew … it's not just your blood; everything about you, you're different ..."

I'm different and he's a vampire. We had something in common. Does that make us soulmates?

"Different …. How?"

"As vampires, we have special powers … for instance, we can run extremely fast and we're incredibly strong … that's why I don't need I key. Each of us has individual powers that distinct us. You … are resistible to mine."

The world of vampires is surprisingly similar to ours, actually. If someone is a black sheep, different from everyone, they are immediately marked as … well, different. Just that Edward made the word sound so … good …

And, well, when it comes to humans, the different ones are usually hidden in basements or locked in mental institution. Being especially enchanting is a rare, rare thing. I guess we could learn a lesson or two from vampires! After getting over their existence, of course

"And that is?"

"I can read … minds."

There's always light even when you're down. There's always a promise of a spring in the coldest winter. There's always silver lining, we just have to want to see it. Edward Cullen could not see, hear, read, whatever verb he'd use, what I was thinking about him. All the nasty words my mind had thrown towards him … he would never know.

Thank god. Otherwise this would be the quickest break up in history. If two can break up before ever officially getting together in real life, outside of daydreaming.

And of course, those three words explained so much.

"Oh god. That's how you knew about the pop quiz!"

"Professor was writing it in his mind the day before … and now you can see why I could not tell you."

Good think he didn't see how I had just dumped a bowl of crap onto my head in my mind. I would deserve two.

"And … that's how I knew Mike wasn't inviting you to a dance for fun. He wanted to … date you."

Judging from Edward's expression Mike wanted much more than just date me but then again, which teenage boy wouldn't?

"It must be so cool to be you! You can just learn whatever questions will be on the test."

"It's cheating, Bella."

"Only if they can prove it. So … that's why you were such a jerk on the day we met?"

"I am not too proud of myself but … a girl whose mind is completely blank to me just walked in. I guess I was entitled to be slightly impaired."

"I would have thought she was just dumb."

"And then there was the smell … so delicious, so tempting … like nothing before. I could feel my body giving in … it was so hard to be in control … my body wanted, desired you so much … then you sat next to me and you were so close … I thought about billions of excuses to get you out of the classroom…"

"Believe me, I wouldn't go."

"I can be very persuasive."

"That day you were just a jerk."

"I wish you still thought of me that way."

"I know you won't hurt me, Edward. Remember what happened, right in here?"

"You cut myself," he said and I know it sound very self-destructive but it was good to know it was not just be whose body ached when I thought of that evening. Maybe my aching finger was really nothing comparing to the torture Edward had gone through but … still.

"And yet I'm here. I was bleeding in front of you and yet you let me live. I am more important to you alive than dead."

"Is it that obvious? I am sorry about that maths thing but it was the only thing I could think of … I was so … fascinated, so confused … you came and you turned my world upside down, everything I had known … you made me question everything, me, mostly. I just had to get to know you but I knew you hated me … or at least strongly disliked you…"

"Hated," I automatically corrected him.

"I thought getting close to you would somehow make me see though you, make me understand … Rosalie helped me mix up the schedules so that we'd be in the same class … that I faked that F … you have no idea how hard it is to pretend that you don't know something … but it worked. I got you as my tutor … the more time I spent with you … the weirder I felt … my … hunger faded and … a new kind of feeling, one I had never felt before stepped in … the thought of me hurting you sickened me. I needed to be around you and it felt so wrong when I wasn't … instead of understanding you, you confused me even more. You made me fall in love with you."

I pretended I didn't hear what he said. Surely it felt good to hear the L word but I didn't want Edward to know I was willing to throw my feminism into the garbage can for him.

"So you said each of you has specific powers … what are they?" I quickly said. I think he figured it out; there was that humorous spark in his eyes.

"It might … upset you a bit …"

I wondered what was worse than willingly being in the same room as a vampire.

"Carlisle is compassionate … Emmett is super strong … Rosalie is extremely persistent … Esme, my mother, passionately loves … Alice … sees the future. And Jasper … he can manipulate with people's emotions."

He carefully looked at me as if he was expecting the Mount St. Helens eruption. Since I was pretty sure there was no lava in me, it kind of threw me off.

Until I realized Jasper's talent could explain so much!

"He didn't use it with me, did he?"

"I'm afraid he did."

I remembered being so incredibly confused. How my emotions were changing … well, pretty much every hour. One moment I considered Mike to be a great friend, the next I was admiring his quite nicely shaped body. I tried to shake off Tyler yet I could not resist inviting him over. I didn't want any of them but sometimes … I acted like I did. I knew what I was doing was wrong yet somehow … I just could not stop.

"Yeah …" Edward nodded, "Jasper was partly responsible for the whole mess with Mike and Tyler…"

"And what made me his favourite past time activity?"

"I did … like I said, Alice can see the future … but future can change swiftly … only one different decision and the outcome changes … she saw you getting together with Mike. Knowing … how I felt about you, my family decided to step in. Jasper tried to manipulate your feelings but somehow everything ended in a mess … in his mind you were supposed to start liking me and disliking Mike and Tyler. However, somehow I was usually the target of your bitterness and you were painfully fond of them sometimes."

"So when I thought I was the bitch, Jasper was actually the one being the bitch?" it was such a relief, knowing I was out of my mind. Of course, this invasion of my privacy would deserve some retaliation but since Jasper's a vampire, I don't think I'm really in a position to threaten him with physical violence.

In hindsight, I realized I should have known Jasper was messing with my mind. That time when he and Alice drove me home; how my feelings changed in a blink of a second, how relaxed and calm I felt but it all faded once I was alone.

Edward just smiled.

"Carlisle has a theory as to why Jasper was unsuccessful; he thinks your feelings were too strong for Jasper to change them."

Well, that was certainly not a compliment for me. I was once again having my cheeks turned red. I wish it was just the effect of wearing a red shirt.

"And as far as my siblings are concerned ... I am afraid there's more. Remember that backboard almost hitting you?"

Was he asking me if I remembered standing on the death door? Was he joking or seriously thinking I had a memory of a gold fish? I don't know about the vampires, but normal human beings don't face death on every day occasions.

Did I even want to know?

"Emmett and Rosalie messed it up the day before."

"Did they want to kill me?"

"No … somehow my dear siblings thought it would be somehow exceptionally helpful if I was the one to pull you away. Sadly, they blocked this thought in their minds until it was almost too late. If I had known what they were planning … I would have never let you in harm's way like that."

"Ok … so why was then Mike the one who saved me?"

"Like I said … I didn't realize what they were up to until it was almost too late. Instead of me running to you, saving you and becoming your hero, Mike took the throne."

"That's why you appeared in the gym so suddenly."

"Yes."

I guess I would find it funny if it wasn't me who almost got turned into a tomato sauce.

"So, Edward … Whatever I am feeling, it's all because of Jasper?"

"No, not anymore. I threatened him to stop after you almost got hurt. And … he could only manipulate your emotions while he was close to you. Like … in school. Whatever you felt here, those emotions are purely yours."

I should probably ask him what kind of threats vampires use but … if Jasper wasn't controlling my emotions when Edward and I were alone … then I guess I too was in love.

I should have been sad for breaking the legislation I had written for myself before coming here but … some things are just above the law, they are simply universal. This codex cannot be captured in words and it is so unfathomable it's just pointless fighting it.

"You look like you have a lot to think about so I'll…" he said and got up.

"No, no, stay!" I quickly got up too.

"I can't … Charlie will be home in a few minutes and since I don't think he knows about me…"

I looked at the clock. Yeah, I am not a sports fanatic and I have no idea how long games are supposed to take but it did seem remarkably early. Especially since Charlie usually stayed for some fish and beer.

"He's concerned about you …"

Completely unnecessarily since now I knew all my recent accidents were caused by vampires.

Before I could oppose since I do live in a democratic family, he was standing so close to me I could feel his breath on my skin. Fate must be finding his so incredibly funny; he with his incredible speed and athleticism and I, so slow and ungraceful. I read somewhere there's a one in two million chance of dying while falling of bed and I would not be surprised if it would happen to me.

He leant towards me and our lips were so close there was no school approved ruler that could measure the distance between us. I don't know what he was waiting for, for his considerate siblings to step in and cause another detour in our … love story but since I was independent woman, I decided to take matters in my own hands. After all, you can't and shouldn't be too careful. The world is right besides us, with its joys and sorrows and it won't come any closer. We just have to reach out for it and take it. Just … take it.

Before it disappears like it happened to me. A blink of an eye and Edward was gone.

Apparently I am mentally instable and inn need of constant supervision since in the same moment I heard Charlie's car in the drive way.

To Be Continued.

Broughttoyouby:::winter.