AN: sorry for the long wait but I promise the more review I see the faster j will update them. I hope to see my reviews. Thank you for reading this far!

I was running. I didn't know where I was going, but when do I ever? I could feel my brain bouncing around inside my head with questions. Why had I dreamt of the night Sarah died? I'd promised myself i would never think of that day again. I didn't need to look back to that day to see Sarah and seeing her like that was no where near worth while...

"Take a left," Sarah murmured in my ear. I shuddered the way I did the very first time.

" what was that?" Sarah asks as she turned me to face the left.

"Just memories," I whisper as Sarah takes control if my feet. I'm moving too slow for her, same old Sarah.

"Holy fucker noddles!" I scream as Sarah appears before me. I reach for the call button and Sarah laughes.

"Don't do that!" Sarah says waving her hand and causing the controller to go flying. I stare at her mouth agape.

"So you're a ghost now?" I asked right as she opened her mouth to speak.

I saw a look of confusion cross her eyes.

She cocked her head to the side for a second and then understanding bloomed in her eyes.

"So that's why you used to talk to yourself so much! You fucking weasel, how could you never have told me you were a MEDIUM!" I shuddered at the sound of the word.

" I dont tell anyone. Except for Julian but what does he know about me?" I laugh as tears slip out of my eyes again.

"I'm your best friend! I've known you SO much longer then that asshole!" I close my eyes and wait until she stops.

" I didn't want to tell even him. He isn't an asshole. Right now your the one being an asshole. I didn't tell anyone because I know there's not many real options to response: there's your reaction," I wave my hand to her annoyed,translusant figure. "Then there's Julian's reaction." I half smile at the memory of his trust of me.

" how did he react?" She huffed.

" he believed me, he took one look and me said,'why doesn't this surprise me?'." I laughed, my eyes examining my hands. " I love him, Sarah. And I think he loves me too." I say letting my eyes meet her hazel ones.

I was glad to see the dark sleep deprivation circles gone from her face. It was amazing to see my best friend look like herself again, the way she hadn't in years.

The Sarah I grew up with had 'died', as she used to say, when her cousin died right before our 6th grade year. Sarah lost touch with her strong religious connection and began to drift down the wrong path.

It started out just the wrong people, but they soon introduced her to the wrong stuff and she wasn't about to stop them.

She and I had more fights over just her entertainment habits then we'd ever had on any thing else. The last big fight we had was because of a fight that happened information of us. Sarah had been the first one to through a punch that day but she wasn't the last. No one blamed her besides me, and even I didn't really think she had done wrong. She was defending herself and that I understand but her timing was what bothered me. The fact that she didn't think through her actions and because of that caused one of her friends to punch the other terrified me. I told her I didn't like her hanging out with those people. She declined and said she liked those people. I told her they didn't care, she said no one did, that part of the argument ended there because I didn't want to fight. It wasn't until she asked about after she left that she actually got mad and stopped talking to me. She asked what had happened and I told her the kids dim my school were not happy with the actions of there peer, I told her I hated this place. I felt like no one cared here. The conversation went on a tiny bit longer before ending with her calling the kids from my school losers and saying she cared.' It's me, I care about you, remember?' By this point my depression was sinking in and I was angered by everything we'd been through that say and I snapped. I told her I didn't remember. I regretted the desicion almost instantly but it was too late.

We didn't talk for something like a month.

I apologized left and right but there was only so much I could do with being in a different part of the state. I would text her and say things just to feel the sensation of talking to her. She wouldn't reply but I'd do it anyway just for my own sanity, which was running thin because of the extra active ghost surrounding me due to all the stress I was under going with the end if the year coming up and her not speaking to me..

The day before she started talking to me again I saw her cousin. I'd never meet her before but I knew instantly who she was. She warned me that Sarah was in a lot of trouble and she needed me because I did care for her. I promised her I would take care of her and then she disapeared.

"I know you do. And I know he does too. Maybe that's were this resentment is coming from, maybe it's because you can be with your knight in shining armour and I can't," she said with a deep sigh.

"Oh,Sarah," I began. I blinked and she was gone. I saw Julian in the doorway, he paused then proceeded to my side.

" is she here?" He whispered seating my orange roses on the table by my bed.

" she was," I sighed and letting my fingers wrapp into his.

" I'm sorry," he said pushing my long black bangs out of my eyes. I smiled and blushed just a little at the feel of his hand. I leaned into his lingering fingers. I could feel a seed of sadness in me grow as the new set of 12 eyes befell on me.

" well shake 'em off we are almost here." Sarah said snapping me from my memories of lost lovers toturing me.

"Where exactly is here?" I asked as the artic freeze hit me. North Pole.

Just as I realized this, Jack landed in fri t of me.

" Thank god you're safe!" Jack said wrapping his arms around me.

I tried not to become completely rigid at his touch but it was hard. Having Jack touch me was like having ice shot into my veins. Even Pitchs touch was perferalble right now.

Oh god, what's happening to me?