I felt my fingers intertwine with another hand. I didn't even have to
think about it. I knew it was James.
I was shocked by the instant knowledge.
And the electric shock it gave me.
It felt like the feeling Julian gave me...
But that would mean I was in love with him.
Which was impossible because this was my best friends HUSBAND. Not
her boyfriend but her husband.
I wasn't in love with him.
i couldnt be.
could i?
this feeling made it seem like it. the shock that lit every nerve
in my body on fire, the twist that my heart made at the feeling of his
hand rubbing circles into mine, and his warm breathe brushing up
against my cheek...
i felt so at home, i felt like i could just stay like this forever.
"is she waking up?" and just like that the bliss was gone. how
could i be falling head over heels for the man that was vowed to stand
by my best friends side? how could i be so selfish as to try and take
something else from her? like i hadnt taken enough from her.
i suddenly recalled the day that i ruined sarahs first wedding.
i was standing beside her as the priest read the line 'if anyone
can think of a reason these two should not be wed, speak now or
forever hold your peace.' Sarah was smiling so wide and all i could
think was how happy i was that shed finally found someone who made her
this happy when her fiance, cody opened his mouth.
" i cant do this," at first no one heard nor understood what was
happening.
we all looked at him. all hoping we were misunderstanding the situation.
but then he looked past Sarah and right at me.
ohh shit.
that was the only thing i could think.
i didnt even have to hear the next thing he said to know but i
listen anyways just because i was dearly hoping i was wrong.
"Sarah, i never ever meant to hurt you. you are an amazing
girl, any guy would be lucky to have you and because of that i cant
allow myself to put you through an inevitable divorce. Sarah, baby,
honey, i know that i dont deserve anything from you especially not
now but i beg of you to try and forgive me. i know that it isnt in the
cards for anytime soon but maybe one day...?" hes eyes were watching
Sarah with a wariness that had never been there before.
Sarahs face was dead. id never seen her so expressionless. i knew
she was angry, i could feel it rolling off her but no one else did.
"Who?" she said. her voice was completely monotone.
his eyes zipped to me. but then quickly away.
he mustve hoped Sarah wouldnt notice but this is exactly what she
was anticipating.
she whirled around and suddenly there was life in her again.
in her eyes was the darkest fire of hate. id seen this
many times before, but never this deep and over all profound.
"Sarah, I-" i began reaching toward her.
" Dont touch me, you slut!" she yelled, moving as far from me as possible.
" you too have a good old time without me. as if u havent
already been." she looked at Cody then at me before she ran out. her
dress was flying out behind her, the light fabric made her look like
she was moving on the air. the second her arms throw open the door her
hair and skin light up. her brown hair shone an almost blonde and her
skin became a brilliant tan that made her look like a fallen angel.
i watch her run beyond the visibal horizon. the beautiful
bride was grown wings and flown away...
When i finally wrench open my eyes shes the first thing i
see. I look at her unsure what to say.
"Mia! Finally." she says hugging me tightly to her. I didnt
even realize that shed called me by the wrong name. I didnt mind, the
name seemed better then my own. i hugged her back.
"Ive missed you my friend." i said in a hoarse voice.
I kept waiting for this dream, to shatter and everything to
become the bad dreams that they usually were, but things felt so
solid.
I wouldnt mind staying here...
sarah pulls away and i watch in confusion as Julian and her kiss.
Confusion not because they are kissing but because i dont
care. At all. im happy for her. im glad shes happy. Like i am.
With James.
And Isabel.
"Omigod,wheres Anabel!' isay pulling eveyrthing to a
screeching stop. everyone laughs.
"Shes at school,babe. But shes been waiting to see you for
ages!Do you want to get dressed or something before she gets here in,"
he looks up the clock above me. "about 20 minutes? My sisters bring
her over as soona s she can." he smiles and i realize that ive been
mistaken from day one. This was my life. with this order and process.
And i loved it.
I nodd at James when he said he was going for my makeup bag. i
look at the window and see the last thing id expect.
Jack.
He was at my window. he blew on it and wrote bye and winked. i
blinked and he was gone.
Jack frost had just given me hes blessing.
What else could a girl ask for?