Chapter 5 – Stupid Cupid!

"Excuse me, Cupid, but what do you think you're doing?"

Cupid grabbed his bow and arrows with little feathers and hearts decorated around them. He looked up at his master. "Nothin', just doing my job."

His master boomed, "It's mid-summer! Valentine's Day is long gone!"

Cupid got down on his stomach and hid in the clouds. He put on sunglasses and took aim.

"Love stops for no one."

YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

*MEANWHILE, IN THE BATCAVE – OH – I MEAN, BEANBEAN KINGDOM*

Prince Peasley was walking along side the Mario Bros., who were here on account of the numerous reports of pipes breaking and leading to alternate dimensions, such as: Boston, New York, L.A., London, Morocco, and North Korea. Sadly, most people who used those pipes have gone missing, so, a moment of silence for them…

…

…

Moment over.

"I'm glad you came. These warp pipes were getting way out of hand," The young prince stated.

The brothers nodded. Luigi leaned over to Mario and whispered, "When are we going to tell him that we're not really plumbers?"

Mario hushed him, "Sh. We're getting paid."

Sometime later, a loud BOOM was heard. The sky was slit and an oblong object shot out, heading straight for Peasley's, erm, bottom.

"I do hope that you two can – ERK"

First pain shot through his body as the arrow began to fade. He stood there, not sure of what to do. Then, something else consumed him. Something he couldn't describe off the bat.

Luigi turned to look at him and asked, "Are you alright?"

Peasley looked up at Luigi and a mad smile formed on his face. "Have I ever told you that your eyes are like diamonds? Really, really blue diamonds?"

Luigi stood back, but to Peasley, all he saw was glitter around Luigi. Then, 80s-90s music started playing in his head.

I wanna know what love is…

I want you to show me.

Luigi gulped, "Uh, prince?"

"Yes, my little green bear?"

Luigi blinked. Mario tried his best to hold back the laughter.

*MEANWHILE, AT OLYMPUS OR SOME KIND OF GENERIC PLACE WHERE GODS LIVE*

"I think I shot the wrong person…" Cupid stood up.

"WHAT?! NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS HAVE YOU EVER SHOT THE WRONG PERSON!"

Cupid looked over at his raging master. "Yeah, but, I couldn't see! Cloud Guy made too many clouds!"

"NO EXCUSES! YOU HAVE TO REVERSE WHAT YOU'VE DONE! GO!"

Cupid looked up, starting to protest, but the cloud broke in half, and Cupid was sent hurtling down to the world below him.

*BACK IN BEANBEAN KINGDOM*

"What?"

Mario repeated himself, "I said, Prince Peasley has been acting pretty strange around my brother and I just want to know what's wrong."

Peasley wrapped himself around Luigi, nuzzling his face in Luigi's neck. Luigi tried to pry him off, but it was no use. The prince latched on well and refused to let go.

"Oh," the woman behind the counter of the pharmacy said, "That's the work of Cupid himself. I should know." The lady then began to reminisce on the days when she was younger and more carefree; the days when she could move around more and date whoever she wanted to, because daddy had money. Ah, yes, those days where she could go from man to man. But those days were over now. Now she was 67, and had no money left, so all she could do was sit behind a counter and attend to the needs of some 32 year old mustachioed man.

"Hello?" Mario waved his hand in front of the old lady's face.

"Oh, right." The lady continued, "In order to undo what has been done, you have to travel to the highest mountain in this world. Then, you will have to confront Cupid himself, and ask for the antidote."

SO, THE ADVENTURE BEGINS!

MARIO LED THE HIS BROTHER AND THE LOVE-STRUCK PRINCE THROUGH A PERILOUS JOURNEY THROUGH DARK CAVES FULL OF BEASTS AND STUFF. THEN, THEY HAD TO SAIL ACROSS THE FORBIDDEN SEA, FILLED WITH EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE MERMAIDS (OF WHICH SEDUCED LUIGI NUMEROUS TIMES, BUT FAILED, BECAUSE PRINCE PEASLEY FOUGHT THEM OFF). THEN, AT LAST, THE THREE FINALLY REACHED THE TALLEST MOUNTAIN IN THE WORLD.

The three climbed it and reached the very top without me going into detail because lazy author is lazy.

"Cupid, you say?" The master rubbed his beard in thought. "I sent him down to correct his mistake nearly two hours ago."

"WHAT?!" Mario and Luigi shouted with frustration, while Prince Peasley was too busy playing with Luigi's hair.

"Yes. Now, leave!"

And the three were kicked off the cloud in a high-larous fashion. They landed perfectly though, because lazy author is still very lazy.

AND SO, THE ADVENTURE CONTINUES! THE RUSH TO MEET WITH CUPID HIMSELF BEGINS!

Just imagine it while listening to Benny Hill music. I don't have the will power to explain it all.

*LATER…*

"There he is!" Luigi pointed at his target, then ran.

"Wait for me, darling!" Peasley called out and ran after him.

"I'll…just…leave it…to you guys," Mario panted, tired from running half way across the world and back.

Luigi tackled Cupid to the ground. "WHERE'S THE ANTIDOTE?"

Cupid pushed the possibly-not-really-a-plumber off him and brushed off the dust from his toga. "Calm down, man. I got it right here." Cupid pulled out a plunger and placed it in his bow.

Peasley looked up at the two men and laughed nervously. "Boys, we can handle this." He then posed, "There's enough of me to go around."

*3 HOURS LATER*

"I'm sorry I wasn't in control of my actions, Luigi," the prince apologized.

"It's alright. You weren't that much of a bother."

The two smiled and made friendships with each other until Peasley remembered that Luigi shook his butt in front of his face that one time to mock him. The two then remained a safe distance away from each other.

*A FEW DAYS LATER*

"What are you doing now, Cupid?"

Cupid got down on his belly once more, "Making love."

YYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

The arrow was fired, but whose butt did it hit this time?

The song is: I want to know what love is - By Foreigner

Anyway, I started this fan fic way back when I didn't know how to spell Dimentio, so don't give me any sass about it. I can't change it because I'll have to find the document again and edit it and it's a real pain in the arse.

So, this is a crack fic. I officially have no idea where I'm going with this story anymore.

This was inspired by fan art that I saw of Luigi and Peasley being a couple. I NOPE'd them from ever being a thing long ago, but, it came in handy for this.

Again, leave any ideas for what I should write about next in your reviews if you want.

Click my profile for more stuff by me, about me, and just plain me. Leave a review, favorite, follow, PM me for any info, and I will see YOU...in the next update! BYE-BYE!