Les Miserables, written by me

by RainWillMakeTheFlowersGrow

Yep! She's doing ANOTHER Les Mis spoof! This one, though...is BOOK BASED, MWAHAHAHAHA. Featuring Hugo Tangents[tm], Pocketjolras, Tinyferre, Javerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt, Jean Valjean (who has no pronouns), Wimpy Marius (who loves Napoleon) , Mean Girl Cosette, and other scary things such as cheese and Waterloo. Yes, you should be scared. VERY scared. But get ready to laugh, i think.

3. Chapter 3

So yeah. I'm back. You should probably be scared, just fyi. More scary things coming up. Yep.

-Marseillaise

At the same time, there were four pretty young women named Favourite, Joséphine (who went by Zéphine), Dahlia, and Fantine. They all had admirers: Favourite had Blachevelle, Zéphine had Fameuil, Dahlia had Listolier, and Fantine had Tholomyès. They were all very nice, I'm sure, and went on big group dates and went out to see…I dunno, minstrels (like in Monty Python. "They were forced to eat Sir Robyn's minstrels to live. There was much rejoicing." And then in the background you hear this collective "Yay" from all the other knights. Yeah. LOL.) or something. So anyway, the girls wanted a surprise! And Tholomyès, ever the evil gentleman, gave them one. It was…*cue dramatic music* THEY WERE ABANDONING THEIR LADIES. People, if you are reading this, don't do that. Otherwise you will have the case of Fantine the Dying Prostitute. But that's much later. For now, it is 1817.( Brave Sir Robyn is running away, hooray, for Brave Sir Robyn…)

But alas, poor Fantine was actually pregnant. So, she was forced to move away, away to Montreuil-sur-mer, where she saw a lady with two little kids playing in the yard. So, obviously, she gave her own little Euphrasie to the evil Madame Thénardier. Le sigh.

Madame Thénardier and her little girls, Éponine and Azalea (sorry, Azelma, not a pretty flowering bush), were horrible to Euphrasie! They even gave her a nickname, of all atrocities. Cosette. Ew, what a horrid name! Anyway, Madame Thénardier wasn't much in the beauty department, either. She was fat and had a beard, according to Hugo. Makes Bellatrix seem kinda beautiful, non?

So anyway, while this was happening, there is a relatively short Hugo Tangent™ on French jet, which basically says that it's glass. I could have told you that. But anyway, we meet Monsieur le Maire now!

Monsieur le Maire was a very nice man. Monsieur le Maire gave out lots of alms, and had shiny silver in his room. Monsieur le Maire was also the mayor. So, one day, Monsieur le Maire was going about his business, when all of a sudden, this guy named Fauchelevent fell under his cart. Now, Fauchelevent was one of the few people who disliked Monsieur le Maire, so everyone was surprised when Monsieur le Maire helped the chappie out.

But Javerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt saw, and thought things looked a bit sketchy.