Chapter 7: Optimus Prime
Disclaimer: Primus owns the Transformers. Not me.
Legend: Thoughts, "Speech", Lyrics.
*dodges thrown wrenches* Okay, okay! I'm sorry I haven't been updating in a while! *mumbles* Slagging writer's block… Anyways, our beloved Chief is up! Special thanks to my wonderful reviewers: darkpoisonivy, MiniAjax, Galem, Nighthawk22, Fallen Angel 1243, icesong180, DoctorWhoRulez, Kurohane Ookami, ForgotMyName2Day, Spirit Kiss, KeepingThemAtBay and crimsoneyedangel18. Wuv you all so much! In response to KeepingThemAtBay, Hannah will not be meeting the bots. She's meeting them in another story. *hint hint* Read on!
A huge thank you to LittleEnglishLass for allowing me to use the Martian line. She has awesome fanfics! *salutes* We are eternally grateful, Invader Zee. ALL HAIL THE IRKEN EMPIRE! PIGGEHS FOR EVERYONE! More thanks to a girl-friend of mine who supplied me with the name Burger Bear.
Hugs sent to: 2211 Nighthawk and ForgotMyName2Day for your lover-ly ideas~ :')
I gulped as I stared at the huge Peterbilt semi. This was what I was supposed to wash? I whimpered a little when I realized I had to climb on top of the bonnet to be able to reach the roof of the truck cab. Normally, I wasn't afraid of heights but this was an exception. Having to stand on top of a soon to be slippery bonnet definitely would not better my luck, and with my current situation, I had a very high chance of visiting the one up there. I'm too young to die! If I make it out of this alive, I shall become non-sugartarian.
I silently appraised the Semi as I mused on how to effectively clean it without possibly having to endanger my life. Ah, what the heck; I always risk my life every time I jump down the stairs. I should just get it over and done with.
I removed my shoes and eyed the truck once again. Muttering an apology to the driver which wasn't here to hear it, I blasted the Semi with warm water before climbing to the top of the bonnet. "GWAAA!" I flailed and managed to grip the smokestacks in my attempt to stop my fall. Holding on to the soapy sponge in the other hand, I steadied my footing before soaping up the roof of the cab.
Once I was done, I took a dry cloth out of my pocket and began to clean the smokestacks. I quacked as the truck began to vibrate violently. "Oi! Squishy human on board! I'm fragile ya know?"
"I'm sorry- It's all- my fault I- wasn't careful."
"Okay…" I blinked a little in slight disbelief. "First the Hummer, now the Semi? I should probably check myself into the mental ward in the next town…" Hopping down to the ground, I soaped the rest of the cab and the back bumper.
I sang along to Aerosmith's "Dream On" in my head as the Semi began to return to its original luster. "Nice decals." I mumbled without a second thought. Drying it down, I wriggled under the huge truck to complete the entire procedure.
After a few bouts of swearing, vibrating engines, scraped knees and hands, I was standing proudly and silently praising myself on the good job I had done. "YUSH!" I pumped my fist in the air. "Uh oh…" I heard a clank and turned to find my cherished wrench high up in a tree. Facepalming, I ambled over and began to try to reach the lowest branch or climb up the trunk. I sighed in annoyance when I found that the trunk was too smooth provide proper footing and the lowest branch was higher than I could reach even if I jumped like my life depended on it.
I soon decided to go to grab the ladder from the barn, but felt my mind fog over as I neared the huge red building. Hazily, I tried to recall what I had to do before all logic was thrown to the wind.
"Why there be no ladder? Whyyyy?!" I thundered around like an elephant throughout the whole barn, searching for the elusive article. "It hath learnt the way of the ninja. I must fight ninja with ninja… HIIIIYAH!" I pounced on a piece of fluff floating along. "Take me to your leader, the leader of all fluffehs! MWAHAHAHA! Oh gosh, I see a cow! Cows, cows, all le beautiful cows! Oh dear, delayed sugar rush." Spotting an old, scruffy stuffed dog, I grabbed it in my sugar craze and proceeded to yell at the poor thing. "I know you have Martians in there! Gimme them Martians! I'm gonna put butter on them!"
"Should I be worried?"
Turning to my Uncle with a crazed look on my face, I popped a CD into the old portable radio kept in there, turned the volume up to max and waited for the magic to happen.
Ievan Polkka played on full blast.
Uncle Will started twitching as I slunk over to him. "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" He fled from the building with a cackling me chasing after him, radio raised triumphantly over my head.
"COME BACK AND WITNESS THE AWESOMENESS OF LEEKSPIN!"
I chased him around and around the field, eventually cornering him up a tree near the front door of the house. Looking up, I noticed that he was cowering like the chicken he was at the face of Leekspin. Leaving the radio at the bottom of the tree, I went into the house to grab a pair of scissors and Burger Bear, Uncle Will's secret plush toy. I still tease him about Burger Bear once in a while, and this was one of those times.
Burger Bear was a yellow and orange checkered teddy bear holding a burger in its hands and smiling. His favourite childhood stuffed toy, it was now old and almost as scruffy as the dog I had yelled at in the barn.
"Leave Burger Bear alone! He didn't do anything to you!" Hearing that, I looked up at him with a rather disturbing grin on my face. Dangling the pair of scissors rather threateningly above the stuffed bear, I heard a strangled "No!" Suddenly, the radio fizzled out and my eyes widened.
"Crap."
I was promptly used as a landing mat. We were sprawled on the floor, still wrestling, with my uncle busy trying to pry Burger Bear out of my grasp and me- who was still sugar high- easily pulling it out of his desperate reach and loudly singing the tune of Ievan Polkka to his face. Thankfully, the scissors had flown from my grasp the second I was tackled by a fiercely protective guardian of the non-living being, posing no threat to either of our lives.
"Hannah! Quit bullying your uncle!"
Gleefully, I forgot Aunt Sarah's command as soon as it was issued and twisted out of my uncle's grasp to escape from him, clutching the teddy close to my chest, only to slam right into Orion. He raised it to eye level, closely inspecting the toy. Even if I jumped with all my might, I still wouldn't be able to reach that height. But, sugar works wonders to our systems sometimes.
"No! Is my teddy! I wanna burn him at the stake! BWAHAHAHA! BURNNNN!" I jumped up and down, trying to grasp the leg that was dangling. Almost got it… Almost there… NOSE! Orion turned and handed the toy to Annabelle, who handed it to her father. I hazily noticed the raised eyebrows of the military guys that had gathered at the porch before I ran around in circles yelling at the top of my lungs.
"I loveded the teddy! Why you take the teddy?! I wanna painfully maul it to furry death! RAWRRR! Witness my fierce tiger awesomeness! SPARTANS AM BEE-YOU-TEE-FOO!" I noticed that Burger Bear's current holder was within pouncing range.
"LE SNEAK TACKLE!" I leapt at my uncle before finding myself held upside down with my leg held by none other than Jasper.
"Whoa there, lil lady. What happened to ya? At lunch ya were acting alright. Do ya need ta see a doctor?"
I shook my head feverishly from my helpless position. "I am le NINJA! My mission is to catch and assassinate le teddy president! He hath cost le many lifes of the burgers. He must DIEEEE!" I struggled anew and just when I was about to reach my uncle…
"GET ME OFF OF THIS! I NO LIKEE THE PIGGYBACK!" I pounded my fists on his back, demanding him to let me get off my current position, which meant I was bent over on his shoulder. Actually, I don't mind being carried like this… If only he could carry me bridal style… Argh! Back down! I felt tingly all over but passed it off as the sugar.
"Her body has an alarming increase in glucose and pheromone level, permission to administer help?"
"NO! Ah don't need your help! Ah wanna kill le president Burger Bear to death! I'm gonna slowly and painfully assassinate his family with the fires of Hell! BURN YOU LITTLE FLUFFY MONKEY PUFFBALLS! YEY! MWAHAHAHA... Hahaha… Urgh…" Suddenly, I felt drained and didn't have the energy to struggle anymore. I yawned tiredly before I dozed off, faintly feeling someone carrying me in his or her arms before the world turned black…
ARGH! I'm not satisfied with the entire chapter! Sorry for leaving you guys hanging though. Help on what to do for a certain lovable speed demon Corvette? Pwez? *puppy eyes* The next chapter will probably be out next week, since I have exams this whole week and two days into next week. Please R&R!