Chapter 11

It was half past ten when Draco arrived home. Tired and hungry though he was, all he could think about was seeing his little girl. Hermione was asleep on the sofa with the baby monitor clenched tightly in her hand. Bending down beside her, he attempted to ease it from her hand, but woke her in the process.

"Sorry," he murmured.

Shaking her head, she slowly sat up and relinquished her hold on the monitor. "No, it's no trouble," she replied. "I didn't mean to fall asleep."

Draco shrugged and sat down beside her. "Did you sleep at all last night?" he asked. "You came over this morning looking half dead."

"It, um, I just had trouble sleeping," she replied.

"Why don't you stay the night," he suggested. "I'd hate to think where you might end up if you floo home." Nodding in agreement, Hermione accepted Draco's hand and allowed him to help her to her feet. She followed him to the second floor guest bedroom, located next to the nursery. "I don't expect you to get up with her. In fact, this room is charmed so nothing outside of it will disturb you."

Hermione glanced down at the baby monitor he had taken from her. "Can I keep the monitor?" she asked.

Draco chuckled. "No," he replied. "Just sleep. I'll give you twenty galleons if you stay in this room all night."

"I don't want your money," she murmured. "And bribery won't work with me."

Nodding his head, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and steered her to the bed. "Go to sleep, Granger," he said. "Let me take care of Lilah. She'll be fine."

She stared longingly at the bed and gave in. "Okay, but you'll wake me if you need me, right?" she asked.

Deciding it was better to acquiesce than continue arguing, Draco promised that he would and quickly left the room. Alone in the guest room, Hermione slipped beneath the covers, but sleep eluded her. Perhaps she was alert enough to go home, she decided. Pushing away the blankets, she made the bed before leaving the room.

"Back to bed," Draco chastised as she passed the nursery.

Hermione gasped, startled by the fact that she was not alone. "Sorry, I couldn't sleep," she replied, entering the room.

He gently stroked his daughter's hair one final time and beckoned Hermione to quietly follow him downstairs. "What's going on?" Draco asked as he made a pot of tea.

Sitting down, Hermione shrugged. "I, um, don't usually sleep well in unfamiliar places," she replied.

Draco poured hot water into two mugs and sat down beside her. "Are you sure that's all it is?" he wondered, handing a mug to her. Hermione nodded and slowly sipped the hot liquid. "How are things with Weasley? You never mention him."

"It's been awhile since we've talked," she confessed. "I assume we're still together. After all that grand talk of making more time for me, we haven't even talked. It doesn't even bother me, which I think is what bothers me the most."

"Do you love him?" Draco asked.

Hermione stared down at the brown liquid in her mug. "Yeah," she mumbled. Glancing up briefly, she caught the look of disbelief that her friend wore. "No, I do. He's one of my dearest friends. It's just...what if I don't love him the way I'm supposed to?"

Blond brows furrowed as Draco rested his arms on the table. "I'm not sure what you mean," he replied. "Is there a right way to love someone?"

"Think about how much you love Lilah," she said. "Now, I know Ron isn't my child. I just...I wish I could love him the way you love Lilah. Unconditionally. No reservations. That's the kind of love I want."

"You'll have that one day," he assured her, resting a hand atop hers. "Maybe it'll be with Weasley, or maybe it won't. Give it time, but don't wait around for Weasley forever. And, if you want my honest opinion, I think you could do better."

Hermione smiled and thanked him. Draco rose from his seat and placed his mug on the counter. "Is there...um, there's something else I wanted to talk to you about," she said nervously. Reclaiming his seat, he waited patiently for her to continue. "A few years ago, a couple of months after the war ended, I found out that I was pregnant. I was already planning on going to Australia to find my parents, and Pansy promised to help me, so we went. I was going to put the baby up for adoption."

"So, you have a kid somewhere in Australia?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No, I don't," she replied, her voice minutely breaking. "I, um, went into labor in my sixth month. It was a girl."

Holding her hand, Draco murmured, "Hermione, you don't-"

"There was nothing they could do for her," she continued as her free hand wiped away her tears. "They asked me to name her, but I couldn't. Pansy gave them the name Rose."

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

She looked up at him with wide eyes. "I've never told anyone," she said to him. "Pansy and my parents, that's it. I know you asked Adrian to look into my past, and I'm not mad about that. I just need to know that this stays between you and me."

Stunned by her admission, Draco nodded. "I swear," he replied. "No one finds out from me. What about the father though? You never told him?"

Hermione shook her head. "After what happened, it didn't seem necessary," she replied. "Even with my original plan, it didn't seem necessary."

"Is this what's been bothering you the last few days?" he asked.

"I didn't mean for it to," she confessed. "It's just...you told me your big secret, which got me thinking about mine. Then, this morning when Lilah and I were playing she said 'mama'. I know it was just her making sounds because she repeated it several times, but I couldn't stop thinking about my baby. How I'll never hear her say that. I've spent years watching every single Weasley baby grow up and pass all the important milestones, and it never bothered me. Being with Lilah though, I don't know. It feels different."

Draco smiled softly. "You love her," he commented. "I don't doubt that you love the other kids too, but maybe Lilah's a bit different. You didn't have to love her."

Nodding, she replied, "Yeah, maybe you're right."

Still holding her hand, Draco got to his feet and helped her up. "Think you could sleep now?" he asked. Hermione nodded as her eyes remained trained on their joined hands. Silently, they climbed the stairs and stopped outside of the guest bedroom. "Can I ask you one more thing? You don't have to answer if you're uncomfortable. I'm just curious. Who was the father?"

Hermione sighed and pulled her hand away. "Harry."