You'll never know

"We'll never be the same, I think about that night – you never said goodbye, you only walked away. It's like my heart stopped beating when you walked away, and all that I believed in is going to waste" Lawson – You'll Never Know

Tori Vega flicked through the channels on her TV and sighed. There was really nothing on. It was 8pm and she should probably be out having fun, but she couldn't be bothered. This guy she'd been talking to for a while had asked her out, but she'd said no. Purely because she didn't feel like dating someone when she still wasn't over Beck She sighed again. She really needed to stop thinking about Beck and get over him. To be honest, she wouldn't get over Beck if she sat at home every night and thought about him. She needed to live her life, and not wait for Beck to come back. She found BBC, which was showing some sort of crime drama and she froze when she saw a person walk onto the screen. Beck. Her heart started beating faster as she saw his character, who she assumed was a cop, talk to someone at a club. From what she understood, someone had gotten drugged and then murdered outside the club and he was there undercover with another cop to try and find the killer. Suddenly, Beck's character was kissing some girl and Tori closed her eyes. She knew it was just acting. She knew it wasn't for real, and why should she care? It's not like he was her boyfriend. She opened her eyes, only to see the girl leading Beck's character into a bedroom. She changed the channel quickly, she couldn't stand to see more of this. The sight of him with another girl, fictional or not, was too much. She was sick of feeling so bad just because of Beck, when he clearly didn't care about her anymore. She picked up her phone, dialed a number and waited for the person to reply.

"Hey Josh? It's Tori, do you still wanna go out tonight? Uh no my schedule just cleared. Yeah? Okay, cool. See you in thirty"

Tori hung up, feeling proud of herself for taking a step towards a life without Beck in it.

"I never called you up, because it hurt too much"

Beck took the shot quickly and the taste of vodka filled his throat. He shook his head in disgust and his cast mate and only real friend in London, Connor, laughed.

"Mate, you're weak!" Connor said and Beck glared at him.

"No, but vodka is disgusting" Beck said and drank from his beer, trying to remove the taste of vodka.

Connor rolled his eyes and said something to the bartender and then turned to Beck.

"So, the show's over now. What are your plans? Going back to Hollywood?"

Beck shrugged. "Don't know man. Maybe?"

"Hey, man, have you seen Holly today? She's looking gorgeous" Connor said and nodded towards the blonde girl standing at the other side of the bar.

"Yeah, no yeah she looks good" Beck mumbled, not really wanting to have this discussion again. It was a known fact that Holly was into him, but Beck didn't want her. He wanted Tori and only Tori. But that wouldn't happen. Still, he didn't want to have a cheap and quick hookup. He wanted something more serious and deeper than that.

"I don't get why you don't just sleep with her. She's obviously up for it. You're an idiot, Oliver"

Beck laughed. "Right back at you, Green."

Connor handed him a shot and Beck glared at him. "Don't tell me it's vodka"

"No no, I promise. It's something else."

Beck took the shot and he felt the disgusting taste of vodka in his throat again. He punched Connor's arm lightly and said, "You fuck"

Connor just laughed and ordered another shot. This was going to be a long night.

"Are you thinking of me? I don't, I don't know"

Tori smiled at Josh, who was telling her a story about his roommate. Tori had stopped listening about five minutes ago. Josh was really nice, but he was nothing for her. He was too pretty, too nice and just too perfect. She wanted someone who was a bit… oh God, she just wanted Beck. It was so obvious. She couldn't even pretend to not think like that. Josh had mentioned that he had been to Canada recently, and that's how Tori had started to think about Beck. It had been a fun night, up until that. Now Beck was on her mind again and she couldn't get him off her mind. She really didn't want to think about him, but she couldn't help it. She wondered what he was doing right now. She didn't even know what time it was in London and she was too tired to try and figure it out. She took a zip from her white wine and smiled at Josh again. He was still rambling on about something and she had to resist the urge to sigh. She was bored, with a capital B. She checked her phone quickly, still pretending to listen to Josh's ramblings. She checked facebook and saw that Beck had been tagged in a photo from today. Apparently London was about 6 hours ahead of Los Angeles, so when it was 10pm in L.A. it was 4am in London. She clicked the photo and instantly regretted it. Beck looked so gorgeous and he was standing next to a really attractive girl. There was loads of other people around them and the photo's caption was "End of series party, let's get it on!" and was uploaded by some guy named Connor, who Tori assumed was on the same show as Beck. She'd read about the show being cancelled and she suddenly wondered how Beck was taking it. She wondered how he was coping with not being on a TV show all the time… Did this mean he didn't have a job anymore? She sighed and Josh interrupted her thoughts.

"Oh sorry, am I boring you?" He said, smiling.

"Oh God no, sorry, definitely not! I just got uh, a message from my sister and she's always quite annoying." Tori said, trying to save the situation.

"Aw I bet she's lovely" Josh said, before continuing his story. Trina, lovely? Yeah, no. If Beck had been here, he'd agreed with her that Trina wasn't lovely, but very very annoying. But Beck wasn't here, no. He was thousands of miles away in London.

"Oh, I regret that day, I never dared to ask"

Beck felt her hands in his hair, while her tongue explored his mouth. He felt good, really really good. He was drunk, extremely drunk. Vodka and him didn't get really along, so he'd been fucked up pretty quickly. Connor had just laughed all night and handed him more alcohol. He was a good friend, if slightly masochistic. He obviously wanted Beck to wake up with a massive hangover. And a girl next to him, apparently. Beck looked at Holly as she pulled off her shirt and he knew he'd regret this in the morning, but he felt the need to be near someone. To make someone feel good, to make someone the center of his world for a while. Every girl deserved to feel like that. His hands were on Holly and she removed his shirt and smiled. He kissed her hard and she tried unbuttoning his jeans just as his phone beeped.

"Leave it" Holly murmured.

Beck was planning on not checking it, but as it kept beeping five more times he had to check what the hell was going on. The first five texts were just from Connor, misspelled and drunken texts. He chuckled. Then he saw a Facebook message, from Tori.

"Hey Beck. So it's been a while, again. I hope you're okay. I read about your show being cancelled, how are you feeling about that? It's going to be really fun to see you at the reunion in two weeks. Miss you, Tori."

He stared at the phone and suddenly felt entirely sober.
"Beck?" Holly said, sounding confused.

He turned around and looked at her, and then at his phone. He quickly picked up his shirt, put it on and said, "Uh, I gotta go. Sorry Holly"

He grabbed his jacket and shoes and quickly left the apartment. As he walked down the streets of London at 4.40 am, he couldn't help but smile. She missed him. She. Missed. Him. And he really, really missed her. He would tell her how he felt. In just 14 days. He had to, it was as if his life depended on it.

"You'll never know that I loved, you'll never know that I trusted you in every way. You'll never know that I missed, you'll never know that I think about you every day"