Remus woke in the damp grass, peering up at the empty branches and gray sky overhead. He was acutely aware of the pain ebbing its way through his body. Everything hurt and his head twinged with the beginnings of a splitting headache. That was probably a combination of his fool-hardy attempt at courage and his elongated bones being forced to resettle into their human joints. He rolled onto his side and sat up, checking his skin for any sign of damage. Miraculously, the wolf had been merciful and there were no fresh claw marks marring his flesh.

He could vaguely remember the wolf's loneliness as it had searched the dark forest for its usual playmates. He remembered its devastation as the wolf - as he - tossed back his head, crying at the moon. The mournful howl still rang in his ears and settled like a stone in the pit of his stomach. This was the first time his emotions had carried over so strongly after a transformation.

With a sense of urgency, Remus found his clothes and dressed quickly. He shoved his hand into his cloak pocket, feeling relief as his fingers wrapped around Lily's note. Part of him had worried his drunken escapade had been a desperate hallucination.

Remus could think of only one person with whom he could share his discovery. But would she believe him? Hell, he barely believed it himself.

Hand still clenched around the note, he closed his eyes and turned on the spot. The world spun off-kilter in a whirl of sound and color as he apparated into muggle London. He was never able to apparate so quickly after a transformation, which usually left him thoroughly spent. But he had a newfound energy that made his magic feel heightened and jittery. He'd overshot it a bit, ending up in a back alley of a busy street, but that wasn't a problem. He knew the way to Mary MacDonald's flat.

Remus raised his fist and hesitantly tapped on Mary's door. He had no idea how he'd explain himself. The information he had to share didn't exactly make for a pleasant conversation. He knocked again. Maybe she was still asleep. It was still the early hours of the morning. Maybe it would be better if she didn't answer the door at all and he could walk away without sounding like a raving madman. While lost in these thoughts, the door whipped open and the point of a wand was thrust into his face, only inches from his nose.

Mary stood defensively in the doorway, wearing a robe, hair wild about her face. Her brown eyes were wide and she looked ready to strike. But her shoulders relaxed as she took him in. She lowered her wand, but only slightly.

"Remus?" she asked, as if not fully believing it could really be him.

He nodded dumbly, holding up his hands and Mary dropped her wand. "Sorry," she said. "I keep forgetting I don't have to do that now."

"S'okay," Remus said. "I can't imagine any of us opening a door normally for a while."

Mary smiled sadly. "I was expecting you to visit after… Well, you know," she offered.

"Yeah," Remus said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. "I haven't been myself since the funeral." He couldn't meet Mary's eye as he thought of the poison he'd held the night before. How it had been exchanged for the note carefully folded in his pocket. "There's something I need to tell you, actually, but you'll need to keep an open mind."

Mary's lips thinned, but she beckoned him inside and busied herself in the small kitchenette putting on a kettle for tea. Remus sat at the table, using Mary's distraction as a chance to build up his nerve. He pretended not to notice the concerned glances she kept throwing at him over her shoulder. But he couldn't blame her. He was sure he looked a right state.

Mary joined Remus at the table, handing him a steaming mug of tea. He drank it thankfully, taking in Mary's appearance for the first time since his arrival at her doorstep. She had always been a beautiful girl, vivacious and full of life, but now she just looked so tired. Her cheeks were hollow and her eyes were ringed by dark circles. Her caramel skin seemed to have lost some of its usual glow. The war had been hard on Mary, Remus realized. He wasn't the only one who had lost his best friends.

"I'm sorry if I woke you," he said guiltily. Maybe he shouldn't get her involved. Maybe it was best to let her get on with her life rather than dragging her back into this bungled mess.

"You didn't," Mary assured him, sipping her tea. "So, what did you want to tell me?"

Remus wasn't so sure, but he didn't say anything. He took a deep breath. He had to tell her. There was no way he could keep this to himself.

He started by telling her about his night in Godric's Hollow. He tried to be vague about his reasons for going there, but he knew Mary could see right through him. She'd always had a knack for reading between the lines. The hurt in her eyes as she reached across the table to squeeze his hand made him uncomfortable. He hadn't realized anyone would have been affected if his plan had succeeded. He imagined his death would have just been another casualty of the war. Now the hangdogged look Mary was giving him made him believe otherwise. He bit his lip. If he had gone through with it, Mary would have been the last Gryffindor from their year.

Remus swallowed hard and let go of Mary's hand. He pulled the piece of parchment from his pocket, smoothing the paper. He slid it in her direction as he explained how he had found it among the wreckage of the crumbling nursery. Mary studied the words on the paper, brow knitted together in confusion. She did not look impressed.

"This is where the story becomes hard to believe," Remus said slowly, looking Mary in the eye. "I think we were tricked. Based on this note, I think Lily was trying to tell someone, anyone, that they'd made Peter the secret keeper. Not Sirius."

He watched her carefully, trying to gauge her reaction. Trying to tell if she believed it, too. But she only gave him that pitying look again.

"Oh, Remus…" Mary began. She looked down at the paper as if she were trying to choose her next words carefully. "I don't know… James trusted Sirius more than he trusted anyone. Dumbledore even testified to the Ministry that Sirius had been their secret keeper. I don't see how it could have been anyone but him."

At Mary's words, Remus instantly recalled the unnaturally cold way in which Sirius had regarded him in the days leading up to the Potters' deaths. He'd seemed so distant, so perturbed. When the news broke and Remus thought back to this, he had assumed Sirius's behavior had been a final act at distancing himself from the friends he planned to betray. Remus hadn't wanted to believe it, but it was the only solution, the only way to explain it away. Now he realized how wrong he could have been. Still, though, why hadn't Sirius told him about Peter? If Sirius knew that Peter had been made secret keeper, Remus was sure Sirius would have trusted him with that information. God, he thought at once, what if Sirius thought I was the spy?

Remus leaned forward in his seat. "I know. I thought that, too. But if Sirius suspected a traitor - suspected I was the traitor - he would offer himself as bait and tell James to use Peter instead. Anything to protect them."

Mary looked skeptical, but the more Remus thought about it, the more he found himself believing. Still, "what if" was a dangerous game to play. He knew it was entirely possible that the note he'd been guarding was meaningless. He tried to warn himself that getting his hopes up would only end in more heartache. This road had only one destination, and it wasn't a good one. But he'd already spiraled. Maybe it was silly, but it gave him something to cling to when he felt as though his world had split and the ground was crumbling beneath his feet.

"But why would Sirius murder all those muggles?" Mary whispered, tears brimming in her eyes. "And the eyewitnesses? They said Peter was asking Sirius why he'd betrayed them."

Remus ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know," he huffed, picking up his tea. It had gone cold. "Maybe Peter said it to make himself appear innocent. Maybe Sirius lost control and his spell caused more damage than he'd meant it to."

"Then he's still a murder!" Mary cried, a single tear rolling down her cheek. "Remus, I know what Sirius meant to you. I know you want this to be true, but I can't believe he's innocent when there's no way we can get him out of Azkaban."

Mary was right about more than one thing. He wanted it to be true more than anything. But he also knew their chances of proving Sirius's innocence were slim to none. And there was the other thing, too. With eyes downcast, he muttered, "If he killed those muggles, he deserves to be in Azkaban." He looked up, face stony. "But if he didn't betray James, I'm not going to sit here and let everyone think he did. Peter doesn't deserve to be seen as a hero if it's true. I can't let Harry believe his godfather would ever betray his dad."

At this, Mary's face fell. "Fuck," she murmured. "That poor boy… But would it really help him to know the truth? It won't bring James and Lily back."

"I honestly don't know," Remus said. "But I believe this is enough to get Sirius an actual trial. If he is innocent, then he deserves the chance to prove it."

Mary nodded adamantly. "You're right, Remus. We should write to Dumbledore. For this to work, we'll need his help."

As much as Remus hated the idea of working with that man again, he knew that it was Sirius's best chance. "I'll send an owl to set up a meeting. I think this would be better explained in person." He finished the last of the cold tea and stood to go.

"Wait," Mary said. "Do you know what happened to Harry? I've asked around and no one seems to know… I was going to offer to look after him, but Dumbledore said it was taken care of."

"I don't know," Remus exhaled as she followed him to the door. "That's another mystery we'll need to solve."